Author's Note: I know, I'm terrible. I have all these stories that I haven't updated in years and here I am staring another one. Don't kill me *hides behind rock* I couldn't stop myself though, this idea has been floating around my head for about a year now, so I finally gave in and started writing it in my notebook.
Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me. They all belong to Akira Amano
Warnings: Fan-service? Definite OOC-ness. Bad grammar (No spell check either). Punctuation and me don't mix well. If there is anything that anyone thinks I should put in warning please let me know!
Vague, vague, almost non-existent insinuation of contemplating suicide, but nothing explicitely said about it and just in the first chapter.
Rating: T just to be safe, but will probably be like K+
Today, today is the day that I will do it. Yeah, today. I nod, steeling my resolve.
I think this as I walk through the park that I always do when returning home from school. It's a nice park with a big play ground and a lot of open space to around in. It's a place that's always filled with children laughing and adults talking, as well as couples strolling along the paths. It has a very pleasant atmosphere surrounding it. It made walking through here my favorite part of the day. It made me believe that I can have all of that, too. Today, I regret it because I know it will never happen.
I kept walking, trying to avoid looking at anything in particular, but I am 'curious. Since, earlier this year I noticed something different when I walked through here. It wasn't something noticeable unless you were paying attention, and I guess I was, and it was a little odd.
I look around and sure enough the oddity is there again. He is someone that I noticed immediately. He is always surrounded by books, so I imagine he must be a student. No uniform, so maybe university? It isn't strange for students to hang around the park, but he is different somehow. Usually when people go to certain places often they settle in a spot that becomes "theirs", so to speak, somewhere they always, day after day, sit. It becomes a part of their routine to go to that one spot. He, however, doesn't seem to have something like that. I have not seen him in the same spot twice (so far); he would, day after day, be in a different area of the park.
Yesterday, he was sitting on a park bench that was furthest away from everyone and today he is sitting under a large tree that was farthest away from everyone. He is never with anyone and he seems to be avoiding any kind of interaction.
He is an interesting guy. I always wonder why I am so aware of him, but can never answer why. It isn't like he ever does anything; he just kind of sits there; either looking at the books he brings with him or at things around the park; except for the people that are all around there. Mostly, he looks kind of listless, although maybe those are just my thoughts. I can't really tell because his face is always blank; he gives nothing away.
He is a handsome guy, I noticed. Girls and even women looking (even outright staring) are not a rare occurrence. He has spiky blonde hair that mirrors my own, (which had caught me off guard at first) and his eyes are a shade of blue that reminds me of icicles. In other people's eyes he might be considered model material. Even though he is handsome he doesn't seem all that approachable. I absently wonder if he has any friends.
Suddenly, he looks up and I am looking directly into his eyes. It is so sudden that my mind doesn't register the movement and I continue to stare. When his eyes narrow my mind catches up to the action and I quickly look away. How embarrassing.
I feel kind of bad for staring at him so openly. I know from experience how annoying and uncomfortable it is. After a moment I shrugged, oh well.
I glance at my watch and quicken my pace. Mom will be home soon and I know if I see her my resolve will crumble.
I greet our next door neighbor, Sakura Atsugi, like every other day. She's a lovely old woman that always bribes me with food when she needs help around her house. I never minded helping her; she's a nice woman that reminds me of my mother, for some reason. I would do it for nothing, but she always insists and I can't refuse.
I want to go in quickly, but she, like always, has other plans.
"Tsunayoshi, dear, how was school today?" She asks conversationally, as she waters her plants or at least tries to. She couldn't quite lift the watering can high enough. How much water is in that thing?
I reach over. "I'll do that, Ms. Atsugi." I take it from her hands, with a bit of a struggle from her end. Some things she insists on doing herself. "Really, I want to." I smile and she relents. It's pretty heavy, actually. "School was good." I add.
"Oh, your mother is home," she comments absently and my heart sank a little. "Hello, Nana."
I looked over my shoulder and see mom walking up the pathway. "Hello, Ms. Atsugi." She smiles. "I see Tsu-kun is giving you a hand."
"Yes, he is. You have raised a very good child, Nana." She praises, making mom's smile widen. "I'd better head in. Come in once you're done, dear, and I'll get you a snack."
"Yes, Ms. Atsugi." After patting my hand she headed in.
"You are so dependable, Tsu-kun." I smile.
She looked to be getting tears-eyed. "It feels like just yesterday you were a baby crying in my arms and when I blinked you were suddenly a teenager." I laughed a little at that feeling it to a bit of an exaggeration. With a pat on my head she went in to start dinner.
It seems like she's doing that a lot lately. Reminiscing about when I was a child. It makes me a little sad.
Once I was finished I went into Ms. Atsugi's house and took a few of the home made cookies that she offered me. We sat and chatted for a while, like we always do after I finished a job. I ask if she needed help with anything else and when she said no we bid each other goodbye.
Going into my own home I smile when I see mom cooking dinner.
"Can I help with anything?" I'm not the best at cooking, but I can do simple things.
"Sure! Come stir the pasta for me, please."
As I walk past her I notice that she has flower all over her and I wonder how she could have possibly Managed that. I laugh as I stir the pasta.
"What's so funny?" She looks confused, but she is smiling.
How does someone manage to get that much flower all over them self?" I ask.
Suddenly her smile turns mischievous. Before I can question her flour is thrown in my face and on my clothes. I gape at her and she starts to laugh hysterically.
"Your face! Oh my god! My side hurts." She is clutching her side. She is laughing so hard and so much that I feel a laugh bubbling its way up my chest and I couldn't stop it from bursting forward.
It took a few minutes but once we calm down we smile at each other. Her smile is so big that the crows feet around her eyes became more prominent. My mother has always been a happy person and her crows feet are testimony to that. I remember as a child I loved touching them because someone told me they meant my mother was happy.
Going back to our tasks my smile fades a little. Looks like today isn't the day either. I start to wonder if the day will ever come. It feels like it is always being put off somehow. If it is true that something is intervening it must mean something. Looking up I silently ask God what he has planned for me.
Thank you for reading!