Song Fic
Emma Mason sat still in her unborn child room trying to grasp the last week into her frail mind. It had just been five days ago when going in for a simple checkup she was given the most horrendous news of her life "I'm sorry Mrs. Mason but there isn't a heartbeat I am truly sorry for your loss," the doctor had said.
It happens all the time, there will be other babies, it gets better. She shook her head at the three things that had been said to her over and over again as more people seemed to find out.
Spinner looked in the nursery to see his wife sitting in the rocking chair with her head in her lap. From the way her body was shaking he knew that she was crying again over the loss of their baby.
"Em…. sweetie." He said walking towards her, "shh it's going to be okay?" he said kneeling down beside her to rub her arm.
"How can you even say that!" she snapped her head up to glare her supposed husband in the eye.
"Our baby is dead because of me," her sobs overcame her words. "It's all my fault." Emma quickly stood to walk over to the crib her baby would never use. "All my fault."
"Emma it's not your fault okay you heard the doctor these things just happen okay." He moved to hug her from behind.
"Spinner do you even care you're acting like it's no big deal you haven't even cried once since I came to tell you." She said pushing him away from her and turning to think about the encounter after the doctor's visit.
/flashback/
Emma walked slowly throughout the house looking for her husband. "Spin," she called out trying hard not to cry. "Where are you?"
"In the nursery come and see."
Emma walked slowly to the one room she had wanted to avoid.
"Look see I finally got everything done and with only three weeks to spare huh, good timing right." He joked turning to see his wife still standing in the door way. "Em, what's wrong?"
He looked up and immediately somehow he knew. "Spinner I'm so sorry." She said falling forward into his outreach arms, only to be caught at the very last minute.
Spinner blinked past tears as he finally registered what his wife was saying. Together slowly they sank to the floor surrounded by their unborn child's belongings.
/ end flashback/
"How can you even say that? Oh course I care about it! I'm dying on the inside Emma," He looked up at her with a mix of anger and hurt in his eyes, "I'm A FREAKING COP FOR CRYING OUT LOUD ITS MY JOB TO PROTECT AND SAVE PEOPLE AND I COULDN'T EVEN SAVE MY OWN CHILDS LIFE EMMA, AND THE ONLY REASON I HAVENT CRIED IS BECAUSE I'M SCARED I'LL NEVER STOP." He shook with fury angry about his wife doubting his sorrow for the baby's death.
"I should have saved her,"he said falling to his knees
"I'm sorry Spin I'm sorry." Emma hugged her husband as hard as she could scared that he would be taken from her too.
Engulfed in each other's arms they sat there in their dead child's rooms crying over the loss.
Two days later
The couple sat in the small tent in the exact same spot on the beach where they had been married three years ago. Surrounded by friends and family they sat in the ceremony for the memory of their daughter.
"Hey I'm Peter Stone, Spinner has been my friend for years and I've none Emma even longer and through the years I've come to know how truly amazing they are. When the band and I first heard that you guys were expecting we had planned on writing a song for the little studz but instead we made this in memory of her." Peter turned on the slide show and quickly sat down next to the couple as the music started.
There were photographs I wanted to take
Things I wanted to show you
Sing sweet lullabies, wipe your teary eyes
who could love you like this?
People say that I am brave but I'm not
Truth is I'm barely hanging on
But there's a greater story
Written long before me
Because He loves you like this
The group sat there as they watch picture after picture come on. Ones of Emma holding her tummy, one when they first announced the pregnancy, some from the baby shower, ones of spinner kissing the belly.
I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All my life
I will praise the One Who's chosen me
To carry you
One right after another the only sound being made was that of tears. Suddenly a group of pictures from the hospital after the 'birth' One of Emma holding it, one of Spike and Snake, one of the band surrounding it, one with Jack holding it kissing its head. A few of spinner holding it while whispering unheard words in it ear. A picture of Jay and Manny holding their godchild with tears in their eyes. And a few single shots of the baby alone.
Such a short time
Such a long road
All this madness
But I know
That the silence
Has brought me to His voice
And He says
I've shown her photographs of time beginning
Walked her through the parted seas
Angel lullabies, no more teary eyes
Who could love her like this?
I will carry you
While your heart beats here
Long beyond the empty cradle
Through the coming years
I will carry you
All your life
I will praise the One Who's chosen Me
To carry you
At last the final picture came up. It was one of Emma and Spinner siting both tears in their eyes as they looked upon there still born child's face.
As the song ended a lone picture of the baby the caption underneath saying
In loving memory of Infinity Joy Mason
August 29, 2014
Here for a short while but forever in mommy and daddys hearts.
Finally Emma and Spin were able to shed one last tear as the said goodbye to their baby girl one last time
(Written In memory of my baby cousins Karrie Joy (April 29, 2009), Jackson Paul (September 3, 1998 to October 5th 1998) and Staci Lynn (March 14, 2012)
We miss you always and forever