by: Ryoko-chan
Disclaimer: This characters aren't mine. There, I said it...can I go home now?
A/n: I wrote this story awhile ago and I had it posted on FF.N for awhile, but I took it down and now I've decided to repost it just so you all know I'm still alive. I haven't had the time to write a new story lately, but you can expect something sometime soon once school is over.
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Tenchi, Aeka, Washu, Kiyone, Mihoshi, Sasami, and Ryo-Ohki stood in a circle around Ryoko who was lying on the floor.
"You're out of control, Ryoko." Tenchi said, helping her up.
"I don't know what you're talking about." Ryoko said, trying not to slur her speech.
"How much saké have you had today?" Aeka asked scoldingly.
"Only that much." Ryoko answered, pointing to a tray with four empty saké bottles on it.
"Ryoko, it's only ten in the morning." Kiyone said. "I can't believe you're this drunk already."
"Yes, Ryoko, its very unhealthy." Mihoshi said.
Ryoko didn't say anything. She simply stood in the center of their little circle.
"Its time for you to get some help, Ryoko." Washu said, dragging her over to the couch. "Stay there."
"What are you going to do, Washu?"
"You'll see." She said, walking into her laboratory.
Everyone else just sat down, making sure that Ryoko didn't try to teleport away. Tenchi grabbed her arm, knowing that if she tried to teleport away with him touching her, he'd go with her. Aeka grabbed onto her arm to, knowing that if she teleported away, Tenchi would go with her, and she couldn't allow that to happen.
A few moments later Washu came back out of her lab dragging a rather confused looking gentleman behind her.
"Washu, who is that?" Sasami asked.
"This is Hikaru Seki. He's a therapist."
Everyone just stared.
"Where did you get him from?" Tenchi asked.
"I borrowed him from Hokkaido for a while. They won't miss him."
"Where am I?" Hikaru asked.
"Nevermind that. Sit down." Washu said, pushing him into a chair across from Ryoko.
"What am I doing here?"
"You're going to oversee our intervention here. You have to make sure Ryoko doesn't kill anyone and vice versa."
With the mention of the word "kill" Hikaru's eyes widened in fear.
"Who's Ryoko?" He asked, searching the room for an escape route.
"She is." Everyone said, pointing to Ryoko who was asleep on Tenchi's shoulder.
"She doesn't look that harmless..." Hikaru remarked.
Everyone started laughing and Ryoko snapped awake at the noise.
"What...is it?" Hikaru asked.
"You obviously don't know her." Aeka said.
"Who are you?" Ryoko asked, narrowing her eyes at Hikaru.
The therapist swallowed nervously.
"Calm down, Ryoko. He's a therapist Washu kidnapped from Hokkaido. He's going to help you." Tenchi said.
"I don't need help."
"You know, the first step to getting help is to admit that you have a problem." Hikaru said.
"OK, I have a problem...with YOU!" Ryoko said, lunging at him.
Hikaru screamed ducked under the table. Luckily for him, Aeka and Tenchi still had a good grip on Ryoko's arms.
"Ryoko, don't do this." Tenchi said, sitting her on the couch again. "There's no need to terrorize the poor man."
"Get out here." Washu said, trying to get Hikaru from under the table.
"No, she'll kill me." He said.
"She won't, get out here you wimp." Washu replied, grabbing his shirt collar and pulling him back to the chair.
"Uh...ok...Tell me what the, um, problem is." Hikaru said nervously.
"She's a drunk, that's what the problem is." Aeka said.
"Well, why don't we go around the room and everyone can tell, uh, Ryoko here about a time she was drunk so she can realize how she acts. Then we'll go around again and everyone can tell her how her drinking affects you all personally. We'll start with you." Hikaru said, pointing to Kiyone. "You look normal." He whispered under his breath.
Kiyone just gave Hikaru an odd look.
"Well, there was that one time she-" Kiyone began.
"Talk to her, please." Hikaru interrupted, glancing over at Ryoko who was being held back by Tenchi and Aeka.
"Um, ok...Ryoko, there was that one time last month when you had been drinking all day and you tried to use Ryo-Ohki as a volleyball. Luckily Tenchi came along and distracted you enough for Sasami to get Ryo-Ohki away from you."
"I wasn't going to play volleyball with her. I was going to play racquetball." Ryoko said defensively.
"O...kay." Hikaru said, looking to Mihoshi. "Your turn."
"Oh, okay. Well, yesterday morning Ryoko was up on the roof while everyone else was doing their chores and Ryoko started to drop water balloons near where Aeka was doing the laundry."
Ryoko snickered.
"Um, Mihoshi, I don't think she was drunk then." Kiyone said.
Aeka glared at Ryoko.
"Oh, yeah...oh well."
"Um, ok then. Who's next?" Hikaru asked, moving on.
"I'll go." Washu said.
Hikaru glared at Washu, silently cursing her for kidnapping him from his nice comfortable office at Hokkaido University. Washu didn't pay any attention to him.
"There was that one time you got so drunk, Ryoko, that you stripped naked and went into Nobuyuki's bedroom, thinking it was Tenchi's. You waited almost two hours getting even more drunk. Then Nobuyuki came in and you nearly killed him and he passed out from shock."
Everyone looked at Washu, then at Ryoko.
"When did this happen?" Kiyone asked.
"It was about a month ago. Everyone else was doing there thing and there was Ryoko passed out naked in Tenchi's father's room."
Aeka started to laugh and Ryoko fumed.
"You shouldn't laugh. This is meant to discourage her from drinking again. Its quite possible she does it for attention and laughing at her gives her more attention." Hikaru explained.
"I'm sorry, you're right." Aeka said politely, trying to stop laughing.
"I'm suddenly not in the room now?" Ryoko asked sarcastically.
Hikaru figured it was better to ignore her.
"You're next." He said, pointing to Sasami.
"Um, ok...Well, there was that one time after you had been drinking and you tried to cook dinner to try to impress Tenchi. You almost added rat poison to the fish. If I hadn't been in there I just don't know what would've happened." Sasami said, sighing.
"The condiments need to be more clearly identifiable." Ryoko said.
"Ryoko, rat poison isn't a condiment." Tenchi said.
"Whatever..."
"Next." Hikaru said, looking at Aeka.
He wanted to get this over with and get back to Hokkaido and far away from these crazy people.
"Where would you like me to start?" Aeka asked, looking over at Ryoko. "There was the time you got drunk and flew Ryo-Ohki around and nearly crashed into the house. There was the other time you nearly started a fire on the roof. That time you tried to kidnap Lord Tenchi. Oh wait, you even do that when you're sober."
Ryoko growled under her breath and stood up as Aeka stood up to meet her.
"I do *not* try to kidnap Tenchi!" She said, yelling in Aeka's face.
"Oh really, then what do you call it?"
"Ryoko, Aeka...please. Sit down." Tenchi pleaded, pulling Ryoko back onto the couch.
The two girls glared at one another, growling under their breath and quickly turned away.
Hikaru just stared.
"Um, I think it's my turn?" Tenchi asked.
"Huh? Oh, yeah...go ahead."
"Well...there was that one time when you were running away from the Galaxy Police and you crashed on a planet out in the middle of nowhere and nearly got yourself killed by a space detective." Tenchi said.
"Galaxy Police...?" Hikaru asked, confused. "Are you sure you all don't drink?"
Ryoko sighed at Tenchi, resting her head on his shoulder. Tenchi just looked at her nervously and Aeka looked like she was ready to explode.
"Are we done now?" Washu asked.
"Um, no...I want everyone to tell Ryoko how her drinking makes them feel using only one word."
"This is just getting sappy now."
"Do you want her to stop drinking?" Hikaru asked.
Washu shrugged.
"Then cooperate. You start again." He said, pointing to Kiyone.
"Um, pity."
"Ok, that's good...you?" He said, turning to Mihoshi who had fallen asleep. "Ok, you then." He said, looking at Washu.
"Exasperated."
Hikaru nodded, "All right, you."
"Sad." Sasami said.
"Disgusted." Aeka said, looking at Ryoko who was hanging all over Tenchi.
"Disappointed." Tenchi said.
"How does all of this make you feel, Ryoko?" Hikaru asked.
Ryoko shrugged.
"I don't know. Bad, I guess. I didn't want to disappoint my Tenchi." She said seductively.
"He is NOT yours!" Aeka shouted.
"So YOU say." Ryoko said.
Once again the girls started bickering and Tenchi tried to break them up.
"Can I go home now?" Hikaru asked Washu.
"Yeah, I guess your work here is done." Washu said, dragging Hikaru back into the lab.
A few moments later Washu emerged and the girls were still fighting. She sighed defeated and collapsed in a chair in the living room.
"Some things will never change." Kiyone said to Washu.
"You've got that right. I have the feeling we just wasted our time."
Kiyone shrugged.
"You never know. Maybe some of it got through to her."
"Yeah, and maybe Tenchi will make up his mind sometime this millennia." Washu sighed.
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The End
A/N: Just so everyone knows the character Hikaru Seki was named after two of my favorite male seiyuu from Fushigi Yûgi. Hikaru Midorikawa who is Tamahome's seiyuu and Tomokazu Seki who is Chichiri's seiyuu. ^_^