Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. That honor goes to J.K. Rowling.
Summary: This is a satirical look at Voldemort's latest attempt to spread bigotry. The numbers of witches and wizards have been dwindling without muggleborns. His solution? Blame homosexuals.
Advertisement Section: Daily Prophet
Are homosexual wizards out to destroy the wizarding world? Find out in this sneak preview into the well-researched and utterly disturbing truth behind the conspiracy. Octavian Hopkirk, the pureblood son of the well-known Mafalda Hopkirk has finally completed his devastating journey into the underworld of sexual revolution. As he says, "If it sounds fun it's not. It hurts like hell to be down there. If only the rest of society knew how far they were willing to go to stop the procreation of magical people." Here he shudders and states, "They are almost worse than the muggles they plan on letting rule once they have converted all the young men into their ranks." According to his contacts, Hopkirk has found that these nefarious individuals don't stop at having lewd orgies and recruiting other young men. They are also known associates of the advocates of baby killing. That's right. Baby killing. With newly designed potions based on muggle concoctions they have begun killing young witches and wizards before they even take their first breaths. As we are all aware, the war has led many young women to make bad choices and to try and erase their shame through worse ones. The growing homosexual revolutionaries, of course, give their full support to any group that murders, defiles or otherwise destroys the fabric of our world.
In his book "The Homos and How They Will kill Us All," Hopkirk reveals numerous, never-before-seen testimonies of some of our very own young men and even one young woman, Miss Pansy Parkinson of the noble house of Parkinson, who was recently approached by the gay's counterparts- the notorious lesbian gangs. The list of respectable interviewees includes Draco Malfoy of the ancient house of Malfoy as well as many other clearly honest men just trying to make it in a world devoid of pureblood pride. To find out more about how you can put a stop to this alarming crime pick up a copy of Hopkirk's book today. Mail orders are being accepted as we speak by Flourish & Blott's.
Hermione put the paper down, a disgusted look marring her features. It seemed that incest really did strange things to these people's minds. The "ancient and noble houses" must have every kind of crazy if any of them believed this trash.