The Empty Chair
Summary: Introspective from Auggie's POV after the Season 3 opener, 'Hang Onto Yourself' so obviously – SPOILERS for that, you were warned.
An empty chair sits opposite my new desk. I can't see it, but I can sense it because I know it's there. The empty void where she would scoot in and perch, while she asked for a favour, or advice, or just brought me a coffee so we had an excuse to catch up and check-in with each other.
I know Annie and I need to move on, for the sake of our careers, that's how it works with the company. If you stay for too long in one place it's like that's all they think you're good for. But damn it I miss her. And I hate that she's already keeping secrets from me. I don't blame her, I know she's only doing it because Lena Smith told her too. I know Annie, she would tell me if she could, because I'm her person, the one person in this agency that she can always trust. Always. That's what worries me about Lena, I don't know if Annie can trust her, in fact I'm pretty sure that Lena Smith is ambitious enough to prioritise the operation over Annie's safety. That worries me, don't get me wrong, she's a good operative, exceptional actually, but she's always had me looking out for her, and most of the time Jai and Joan as well. There's something about her that has made all of us want to look after her, even though with her skills she's hardly a damsel in distress type.
Jai has left me with one hell of a mess, and I have no idea how I'm supposed to get this whole department to open up to me, let alone follow my orders. It's like sort of agency joke, let's get the blind man to ferret out the secrets… maybe they want me to fail. Oh everyone knows I'm competent, at least at my old job, I proved that, but Annie was one of the few who realised that I wasn't just competent, I was really good at what I do. Or did. This "promotion" shouldn't be a bad thing, but a new office, new voices, new furniture, and I have to at least pretend I'm okay with all of that, because the only way me staying with the agency and having any sort of a career works, if is I pretend that I'm so darn good that it doesn't matter that I'm blind. Sometimes I actually start to believe that. When I was all that stood between Annie and disaster, I could believe that. But there were times when it was Jai who swooped in to her rescue, reminding me that there's only so much I can do now, that, I am, forever, limited.
Somehow that bothered me less when Annie Walker was around, grinning at me with that smile that you expected to see on a cheerleader not a hard core operative, the one that shows itself to me in the inflections of her voice. Hearing at that smile in her voice I could feel sorry for myself because I can't see it, but I prefer to feel lucky that I'm the one who can hear it. Most men can say they've seen a beautiful woman smile, how many can say they hear it every day at work? Except now it might not be every day, and that is a fact that doesn't sit very comfortably with me, so I frown at the empty chair and wish it wasn't there, or that she was.