What are you writing this time?

A yaoi fic where you have sex with all the guys in the Final Fantasy universe.

What!?

Haha! April Fools!

What are you laughing about? Jokes are supposed to be funny. That was sick!

Yeah, well it's only funny when it's not you. Learned that a long time ago.

Anywho, as surprising as this may sound, I didn't realize that it was April Fools until after the day was over. So just for the fun of it, I've decided to make a quick April Fools themed story in which these jokes go wrong.

When April Fools Jokes Go Horribly Wrong

By RenzokukenZ

Yuffie had it all planned out. To her mind, it was foolproof. Success was a guarantee. Nothing could possibly go wrong. In short, it was the perfect prank. And in just a few minutes, her victim would walk through that door and fall prey to her devilish scheme.

"Tifa? You in here?"

Bingo.

In the most exaggerated act she could pull off, Yuffie appeared from her hiding spot behind the bar, eyes wide and wet, and ran up to the blond haired man who was caught off guard when she got him on a death grip. He could hear the young ninja sobbing and wailing so loud that hanging bar glasses began to rattle.

"Cloud! Where have you been!? It's horrible!" Yuffie's wails were much sharper after every word, practically blowing her cover. But since this was Cloud…

"What happened? Did something happen to Tifa?" The ninja's slight nod was enough to send shivers down the swordsman's spine. "What happened to her? Where is she?"

Yuffie let go of Cloud and began wiping the rather obvious fake tears off her face, wide eyes locked with Cloud's. "I was watching Denzel and Marlene upstairs when I heard some shuffling down here by the bar, and I went to check…" She lowered her head so that her face was not visible, and with two lightning fast strokes she added more eye drops on her eyes. "…I saw Tifa lying on the bar counter with a gag on her mouth, and some guy was on top of her while another was behind them, and they both looked like Vincent and Cid. I didn't know what to do, and I didn't want the children to see, but that changed 'cause the one that looked like Cid saw me and threw a sleep materia at my face and knocked me out, and when I came too, everyone was gone."

By the end of this Cloud was already in tears, real tears to be exact, and without warning he ran upstairs, leaving a cackling Yuffie to reap in the fruits of her labor. She could just imagine the chocobohead locked in his room, getting a razor out of a cabinet and putting on a copy of Green Day on the CD player. And she still couldn't believe that the idiot didn't bother checking the calendar this morning and see that today is the first of April. Soon she wouldn't need to imagine, since she brought her digital camera, and now all she had to do was flip the switch and get it all recorded.

That is, until Cloud came back downstairs, only this time with his full array of cutlery at his disposal.

"Whoa, Cloud, what are you gonna do?" This wasn't supposed to happen. This plan was perfect, from beginning to end. Nothing was supposed to go wrong. Yet, something did.

"What do you think? I'm going to find those bastards and get Tifa back! And if they resist, I'll cut them where they stand." Cloud began walking to the exit when Yuffie stopped him. "Wait, Cloud, none of that happened. It was all a joke. A stupid April Fools joke." She looked at the mako eyes of the blond swordsman, and he reacted in a way that she never thought he would. He simply laughed. "Oh you would say anything to save your precious Valentine wouldn't you? Well that's not going to work on me, Yuffie. I'm too smart for that." And with that, he left the bar and sped of on Fenrir, leaving Yuffie on the brink of a severe panic attack.

"Ok, Yuffie," She began counseling herself. "This has gone way out of hand. Maybe if I can call Tifa and tell her to tell him that it's all a lie, then no one will get hurt." She rushed back to the counter where her purse rested and began digging in it, searching for her small cell phone. She smiled when she found it, but that quickly turned upside down when she saw the battery level. "Great. My phone is dead, just like Vincent and Cid will be if I don't-" the door to the bar opened and in came two small bodies who darted automatically to the stairs, followed by a young woman with brunette strands. The barmaid wasn't at all surprised to see Yuffie inside the bar when she wasn't around, but being clamped by her around the waist was.

"Yuffie! What are you doing?"

"Quick, Tifa! There's no time to explain! Just call Cloud and tell him to not kill Vincent and Cid!"

Tifa couldn't help but raise an eyebrow, then she scoffed and shook her head. "I swear Yuffie, you think you can be a bit more original with these April Fools jokes."

"What?"

"I mean, it's not the first time you and Cloud joined forces for a day and try to make a fool out of me. Well not today. I'm not going to fall to any of your trickery, Ms. Kisaragi. So you can just forget it."

Yuffie was about to correct the martial artist when Cloud walked in, his purple turtleneck stained with brown pools of dry blood, small specks of red on his blond hair, and fresh blood quenched the edge of his sword.

All 7 of them.

Tifa's reaction to this was completely different from Yuffie's, mostly because the older woman had no idea what happened. Her suspicion became tenfold when Cloud got her in a death grip.

"Tifa! I'm so sorry Tifa! For not being there for you in your time of need."

"Ok, now I really want to know what the heck is going on. I though today was April Fools, not Hug a Friend to Death Day."

This made Cloud loosened his grip and stare into Tifa's ruby eyes. Then he asked her something that he knew he shouldn't ask any woman. Ever.

"…So you mean that you weren't molested by Vincent and Cid during the morning." A slap on the face confirmed his answer. His eyes then went wide as saucers when he realized what he did earlier, and it seemed that Yuffie caught on to this.

"Cloud. Did you really kill Vincent and Cid?"

"What!?" Tifa shrieked so loud that Denzel and Marlene came running down, hoping they would see yet another Tifa vs. Cloud fight with Cloud losing pathetically.

All eyes were on the blood soaked man, and he began to sweat heavily. "Uh, of course not Yuffie. You think I'm that stupid? No, I was on my way to their houses when a pack of Nibel wolves cornered me and I had to fight them off." Cloud said hesitantly and he began to inch his way to the exit. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go bury those wolves in a far secluded area of the world so that no one will find them and trace them back to me." With that, he zoomed out of the bar and onto his just as soaked bike and sped off. Denzel and Marlene were confused as to what was going on and just shrugged it off and headed back upstairs, Tifa went to the bar and poured herself a glass of Jack Daniels every three seconds, and Yuffie, well, she just stood there with a single thought running through her mind.

Who's gonna fly her to the Gold Saucer now?

Sorry if it came out weird. I was up at midnight when the idea struck and I was already half asleep.

It shows.

Please read and review!

April Fools!