Ordinary Miracle

It seems so exceptional, that things just work out after all – it's just another ordinary miracle today.

Part 1

Oh God, oh God . . . why couldn't she remember? It was on the edge of her mind – a little skin, the hot wetness of an open-mouthed kiss, and then –

She squinched her eyes shut. Concentrate, dammit, she told herself. This isn't helping you. He doesn't remember. He doesn't care. He's married . . . just think about something else. It was one drunken night. She rubbed her head ruefully. Even after half a mickey of bourbon and countless shots of other alcoholic beverages, she could go for more, if it would make these thoughts just stop.

Izzie leaned her head on the cool glass of the examination room window and blinked a few times, trying to clear her suddenly tear-blurred vision. She had no idea why she felt this way. George was her friend, nothing more. She'd never really felt anything towards him. He was the ultimate Bambi, someone to look after, someone to cuddle and surprisingly, a strong shoulder to cry on after Denny died. So why was she so close to tears? Why did she feel like she was going to burst open? She drew a shuddering sigh.

"Stevens?"

The clear voice fell on the air like crystal, startling Izzie. The blonde-haired intern threw her head up, her brown eyes widening in surprise, a single tear falling on her smooth cheek. "Dr. Montgomery?"

Addison stepped forward. Her red hair was caught up loosely in a clip and some tendrils had fallen, framing her face. Her reading glasses perched on the edge of her upturned little nose and her lips were pushed forward in her customary concentration pout. "Are you going to prep the FOP patient? I've got her booked into surgery for one, and she needs blood drawn."

Izzie nodded, feeling a bit off-kilter. "Of course, I'll go and get the stuff . . . change my gloves, you know . . . and prep her." She started to leave, but another tear slipped down her cheek as she went to pass Addison and she paused, breathing in the other woman's scent for a moment. Addison always wore a very sweet, floral perfume, but this was the first time Izzie had really noticed it.

"Dr. Montgomery? What if . . . I mean, I . . . had sex with someone," she spilled out in a rush, feeling like a fool. "I don't know what to do. What do I do? It wasn't supposed to happen. Seriously."

Addison turned her dark-blue eyes on Izzie and registered gentle surprise. "Stevens, I – "

"I know, but I just needed to tell someone. I'm – I'm just so confused." Izzie's face crumpled. "I just . . . I'm so raw, I haven't felt like this since – and you know, I've missed it, and I've missed being loved and being somebody special, and . . ."

Her voice broke. "I don't know how I feel. I don't know what to do. And . . . I'm lost, I guess." Izzie brought her hands to her face as the tears spilled down her cheeks and her breath caught in a sob.

Addison was completely confused, but she realized the signs of grief in the young intern. She did the only thing she could do. She put her arms around the girl's shaking shoulders and began to rub her back, drawing her down onto a bench outside the examination room. "Shh, shh . . . Izzie, come on, get ahold of yourself. Don't cry." She began to rock Izzie back and forth soothingly.

"I'm sorry, it just hurts. That's the worst, I never said goodbye and it was okay and now it's so sore inside," sobbed Izzie. "And I've done such a potentially horrible thing."

Addison was silent for a moment, holding the girl close to her. Izzie wasn't the only one who'd felt alone and bereft. Addison herself had missed the novelty of loving someone, of always having that warm feeling in your heart when you look into their eyes, the heat when she leaned in for a kiss . . . she leaned her head against Izzie's for a moment, inhaling the sweet smell of her blonde hair, cuddling the soft warm body against hers . . .

"If it's so horrible what you've done, you have one choice," said Addison, her voice growing soft.

Izzie's sobs slowed down and she hiccupped, looking up at Addison. "What?"

Addison looked into Izzie's eyes. "Stop." And with that, she kissed Izzie.

Izzie's teary eyes flew open in surprise and she nearly pulled away, then out of some unborn need, she closed her eyes and hungrily opened her mouth. The kiss was hot, even more so because it was in the open, where anyone could see it. Izzie's hands reached up to Addison's hair, freeing it from its clip, tangling in the fire-red strands, twining the silkiness around her fingers, gently touching her tongue to the attending's.

Addison was actually a little surprised at herself, despite the fact that she'd fantasized about this for awhile. Izzie wasn't known as Dr. Model for nothing – her delicately molded features and snowy blonde looks weren't the type that you could ignore, especially if you were Addison Montgomery, who'd been known for her covert affairs with her "special" students, be they male or female. But she hadn't planned to kiss Izzie in real life, well, ever, and this was a bit of a surprise. She couldn't say that she wasn't enjoying it, however . . . in fact – she dug her nails fiercely into the intern's back – she wanted more.

The kiss lasted for an eternity, both women flushing in their faces, eyes sparkling with lust. When they finally broke apart, they were both nearly gasping for breath. Addison blinked a few times, and put a hand up to her hair, which was cascading over the collar of her white coat. She smiled slightly.

Izzie herself was gobsmacked. Although Addison was an attractive woman and Izzie had experimented with girls before, she'd never actually thought about Addison in any other way but as her boss. That wasn't to say that she didn't feel a frisson of attraction when Addison tossed her hair, chewed on the end of her glasses or gave that slow, feline smile of hers when she was flirting with one of the many male interns, but she chalked that up to, well, nothing, since she never really thought about it.

No, her problem was with George . . . she had to think about what she was going to do about George. Callie would be sure to find out, and then she'd be in even more shit than she already was . . . her mind slid away from the situation at hand and the focus left her eyes for a moment, but promptly returned when Addison grabbed her hand and pulled her into the linen closet.

"Great, now it's my turn for a rendezvous in Ye Olde Sex Closet," Izzie quipped, closing the door behind her. Her face grew serious. "Addison, I – "

"No, it was my fault . . . I shouldn't have taken advantage like that. Stevens . . . Izzie," sighed Addison, taking Izzie's other hand. "You are so beautiful when you cry."

"Well, that's a first," said Izzie, grinning satirically. Addison shook her head and smiled too. "That's not what I meant. I just – I'm so sorry that you're upset, that you're feeling so alone. I wish there was something I could do for you."

Izzie looked at the floor in confusion. "I don't know what I want. I don't know why I did it. He doesn't care, and I miss Denny, and you're really . . . not helping," she finished miserably. "I can't sort out my life when I'm kissing my boss, who I didn't even know SWUNG that way, and who fiddles in front of me with hair clips and horn-rimmed glasses – " Her words were abruptly cut off when Addison covered her mouth with her own, kissing her deeply again.

The second kiss was sweeter than the first, not as hungry. Instead of tasting just heat, Izzie tasted the essence of Addison, her sweet breath, slightly minty from the gum she always chewed. It was also shorter, like a gentle reminder of the lust they had shared on the bench in the hallway.

Izzie broke away first. "Addison, I can't. I just . . . can't. I'm fucked up enough. You don't want to get messed up with me."

She opened the door and throwing a look back at Addison, left the closet. Addison slumped against the shelf, wiping her lipstick-stained lips on the back of her hand. She fixed her hair, smiling to herself ruefully as she straightened her white coat and smoothed down her skirt.

What WAS it with this group of interns?