BACKGROUND: Part of a longer story I am currently working on. Fives is now on a mission with 66 other clones and a few Jedi Masters, amongst which is mistress Shaak Ti. He is distressed in wake of Echo's death at The Citadel and mission to Umbara. In this background, Shaak ti delivers some inspiring words to these unique 66 clones.
Fives sat in the very empty chow hall. It was still a full day until they reached Rousky, and after Hardhitter had broken down in their berthing, Fives had let him use himself as a strong point until Hard calmed down and fell asleep. Fives had soon attempted sleep as well, until a nightmare about the Rishi moon had awoken him up; he never seemed to sleep very well anymore. Even though he wasn't hungry, he still went to the chow hall afterwards, hoping for an escape, if for a moment, as sleep provided none to him. Looking up from his plate of chow, he scanned the room; it appeared to be like any other chow hall on a republic cruiser; albeit much less full. In addition, the clones scattered about the tables, some in small groups, the rest alone and by themselves all looked sullen and somewhat demoralized. Fives shook his head and turned back to his meal, idly poking at it with his fork; he ate as little as he slept at this point.
"You should eat something soon, you haven't eaten hardly a thing since you sat down."
"I'm not hungry, said Fives ad he pushed his tray away, bringing one arm and elbow to rest on the table, and using his other hand rest his forehead upon. Looking up only with his eyes, he saw another clone, one he hadn't met before conversating with him.
The other clone sat down before he spoke again; his armor was plain white and unadorned, but scratched up and scarred, indicating he was an infantryman: he had doubtlessly been in many-a-battle. "Brother, you look tired and wasted, dark circles don't lie," he offered Fives a morsel of something. Fives waved it away with his hand, turning to sit sideways on the bench.
He heard his brother sigh and breathe heavily for a moment before trying again, "did you not sleep last night?"
"Nightmare."
"About what?"
Fives didn't answer; he only continued to gaze intently off into space. His brother clone reached across the table to firmly grasp his shoulder, turning Fives back towards the table slightly. "Listen, I know you've lost brothers on the front line, we all have, and were not, "just numbers," like they say we are. We're our own individuals. The name's Cuttr'. I'm from…"
Even as the clone spoke, Five's head shot up in a startled motion as he abruptly spun back to the table. For the first syllable of the name, he had hoped it was CutUP, not CutTR'. His eyes opened wide for a moment at hearing the name as his hopes soared, then were dashed, all in one instant. His fist clenched in his lap as he took in several heavy breaths and looked down towards the table at nothing in particular.
Cuttr' looked at him with intent, "What's wrong."
Fives shook his head quickly, "nothing, I'm fine."
"That display of emotions doesn't lie to any of us," Shaak Ti's sharp, clear voice cut into the air as she sat down to join the two clones at the table. Fives bit his lip and turned his head away as she sat down.
"Turn to me Fives, I wish to look at you more fully." When he did not respond, she reached up and turned his head towards him with her hand on her chin. Her eyes narrowed in thought as she took him in. "You look unwell," she removed her hand from his chin.
"Should I look any different, mistress," he looked back down at the table.
Another clone, curious about the conversation, an infantryman, similar to Cuttr', sat down, four glasses of water on a tray he carried. Cuttr' accepted one immediately; Fives and Shaak Ti ignored the new arrival. Shaak Ti also ignored Fives' question as well. Fives looked at her with his eyes only before sharply grabbing one of the glasses and downing it in half a moment before slamming it down firmly on the table. "Well, mistress, how should I look to you?"
"The question is not how should you look, but rather how you want to look."
At this, fives looked directly at her by turning his head, "You remember Domino Squad completely, don't you?"
"I remember all of the clones I have served over."
Taking in a deep breath as he locked his ten fingers around the cup he had just emptied Looking back down at his hands, he continued, "You said we were the best, the best you'd ever seen, yet now four out of five of Domino Squad have been killed on the battlefield. How are the best all killed off by droids?"
"Even the best have flaws, Fives. I am a master Jedi, and I am far from perfect."
"How? How are you imperfect…and me the best? I LET ECHO DIE!" He slammed the ceramic cup onto the metal table, shattering much of it in the process while his free hand found his eyes to cover them; a common spot for his fingers lately. The sudden outburst had garnered the attention of the room, which was now silent, all eyes on both the ARC trooper and Jedi master. Both Cuttr' and the clone who had brought the glasses over backed away from the table at the outburst from Fives.
Master Shaak Ti paused for a moment, sighed, rose to her feet, and turned to address the 66 clones, all currently present, "You are all proud clone troopers of the republic. You know this, do not deny it. You are brothers, both literally owed to genetics, and at arms for life due to your status as soldiers. That makes you special: no other group in history has as many to rely upon as you all do. Cherish that, and do not forget it. You however are unique amongst clones. You feel compassion, sorrow, love, and the pains of loosing those you care about. War…does not come with a guarantee. No solider gets the promise of safety, survival, or victory. You have the best training in the galaxy…yet no training can prepare you for the moment with death in the eyes. Nothing can train you for the moment when you face your foes in battle; that moment when you make that split-second decision that determines when you either live or die. Nothing, except experiencing it first hand then living to tell about it. You have all been there, some of you on many occasions, and have all emerged different than before. All of you have had the pain of loosing your brothers, and you all mourn for the ones you lost."
The room had fallen completely silent; even the distant hum of the engines seemed to silence itself in reverence of this omnipotent being, Jedi master Shaak Ti. "This it where you differ from your brothers: most other clones do not feel pains of loss or sorrow; they do not pain over loosing you in battle. To be a whole and complete being, one must first possess all traits of a full heart and personality; amongst these, sorrow for loss and the ability to mourn. These traits, which you all possess to the fullest, is what makes you the greatest troops in the galaxy; you care for your brothers in ways most other clones cannot even hope to comprehend. Your personalities are full and complete. Here, Fives wondered why I said he was the best," Fives looked up at her with this, deep in thought over what she was saying, as she gestured to him with both her voice and hand. "I called him the best because he is complete, as are all of you. You are greater assets to the Jedi due to this when compared to the average clone. You are more loyal because you know what is sleighed to be lost in the fires and heat of battle; you understand what means to love and cherish those you care for."
Turning back to Fives, she place her hand on his shoulder and raised him to a standing level, "This, Fives, is why you are the greatest, "Not because you were unable to prevent your brother's death, but because you are able to for mourn it." With this, Shaak Ti lowered her hand, visually swept around the room from one end to the other and departed, leaving the room in stunned silence. The doors closed behind her as the clones slowly sat back down, deep in thought, Fives included.