KEPT WAITING
by: Riseha
A Killua x Kalluto story
Kept On Waiting
So these are Kil's friends...
Kalluto watches them from a distance away, well concealed by the green bushes. There's a loud-mouthed boy with spiky black hair and golden-brown eyes that glow with passion. There's another older man with black hair and black eyes, and while Kalluto senses passion, there isn't that devotion.
And there's another, a blonde boy with grey eyes. Looks like a girl, Kalluto thinks but he knows he doesn't have the right to say anything.
"Why won't you let us through?" The boy with black hair asks of Canary. "We just want to see Killua! I'm worried about my friend!"
Friend, such a foreign word to Kalluto who never had a friend before.
Kalluto only has his brothers, father, mother, grandfather and ancestor.
:: :: ::
This is the first time Kalluto talks to Killua.
Kalluto has only seen brief flashes of Killua's vivid white hair as he's carried around by his mother. Born prematurely, his body has been weaker than that of his siblings and his training had only been limited to poison-tolerance, nothing too taxing that his body will stop functioning.
"Play nice," coos their mother to her third son and youngest son before she flits way, silent and quick, always graceful. Grace that Kalluto envies and promises himself that he wants.
Killua eyes him curiously. Then he's smiling.
"Yo, Kalluto, wanna play with your big brother Killua?"
And his grin is the brightest thing Kalluto has ever seen.
:: :: ::
"Kilu," says Kalluto cautiously, eyeing the taller child. "who's he?"
"She's Alluka," Killua answers, abandoning Kalluto's side to pull the shy child forward. "She's your older sister, say hello, Kalluto."
"Say hello, Kalluto," mimics the youngest child. Despite being only five, he's very sassy. Being only five, he's too young to comprehend what's the burning sensation in his chest, he just knows he doesn't like it and it's his so-called sister that's inciting this feeling in him.
"That's not what I meant, Kallu, and you know it!" cries Killua.
"Hello, Kalluto!" says the girl brightly, launching forward and shaking Kalluto's hands.
He wants to snatch his hands away but Kil's eyes are warning him silently and he desists, just allows himself to be wrapped up in his sister's embrace even though all he wants is his brother's arms around him instead.
:: :: ::
"Nervous?"
"No," says Kalluto, pushing a strand of his hair behind his ear. "I'm not worried."
Kil scoffs. "There's a difference between nervousness and worry," he says as wisely sounding as a eight-year-old can. "Be honest with your feelings."
"Grandfather says that assassins don't have—"
"Don't listen to that old coot," Kil interrupts rudely. "If you're scared, just say so."
"I'm not," Kalluto insists stubbornly, slightly annoyed, because really, he's not scared.
But he doesn't know why his heart is pounding so fast. "My heartbeats are quicker, Nii-san," Kalluto tells the white-haired Zoldyck.
"That means you're scared," Kil concludes smugly. He sees the annoyance clear on Kalluto's features and he laughs—an act that does nothing but to make his heartbeat thump twice as fast, makes Kalluto wonder if he's truly afraid of his brother or it's some other unknown emotion that training doesn't teach him—and ruffles Kallu's head. "But that's okay because I'm here."
Kalluto glances up at him, curious.
"I'll protect you."
That is when Kalluto realizes that the emotion he's feeling isn't fear.
:: :: ::
"Kil, you're leaving?"
Killua turns at the quiet question. His eyes are a little sad, his mouth curves into a smile. "Yeah," he says truthfully because he can never ever lie to Kalluto's violet's eyes. There's something about his youngest brother's eyes that stops the lie that's falling from his lips (that pierces his chest, twists the blade further in-)
"I can't bring you with me," continues Killua when his brother remains silent.
"Why not?"
"Because," says Killua but he really doesn't know why Kalluto can't come. "because this is a whim. If I'm going to be punished, only I will be punished."
Kalluto stares at his older brother, wonders why the boy doesn't say that he just doesn't want to see Kalluto getting hurt because of him, and wonders why he's feeling like this is the last time he'll see him.
"I won't tell anyone," Kalluto says.
Killua's smile is killing him.
Kalluto doesn't know why his eyes are burning from where he's watching everything unfolding: Killua unsheathing his claws and injuring his mother and older brother.
Only when his mother, beloved, dear mother who always comfort Kalluto and teaches him everything he wants to know ("Mother, why does my heart skip a few beats, sometimes, whenever I'm around someone?" "It's love, dear, you won't understand.") cries out in pain does Kalluto move.
It's quite obvious as to who had spilled the beans.
Killua smiles at him anyway.
"Stop him, Kallu," moans their shared mother. "Don't let Kil go."
Kalluto can never beat Killua but he tries anyway. Killua's hand encircles Kalluto's thinner wrist, pulls him until the younger falls on the older. Kil tilts Kallu's chin up, and to the world, he might've been whispering a secret to his brother, and only Kalluto can feel the barest of brush against his lips.
The words don't go and don't leave me never leave his lips.
:: :: ::
"Oi, oji-san?"
Leorio snarls at Killua and chucks a pillow at him. "Don't call me that!" he yells. "I'm just older than you by seven or six years!"
"That means you're very experienced with the world, right?"
Leorio's eyebrow twitches. "It sounds like a compliment but I know it's not." He glares at the white-haired brat before he sighs, seeing the earnestness in those deep blue eyes. "Yeah, so?"
"What does it mean when I keep thinking of someone I'll do anything for that smile and person?"
Leorio blinks then he leers. "That means you're in love kid, tell me, who's the unlucky girl?"
Killua blinks, then his fingers come to rest on his lips. "Is it wrong to kiss a family member? Like, lip contact?"
Leorio makes a face. "Of course it is! It's wrong, disgusting and unnatural!" Then he frowns, decides that his words are too harsh because Killua looks shocked, and says, "What I mean is—"
Killua's face is hard when he speaks. "I get it," he says.
What he doesn't get is the burning pit of frustration in his abdomen.
:: :: ::
"Killu," their mother calls, trying to reach for her white-haired son but the boy just sidesteps.
Kalluto's eyes linger on his brother, imploring him to say something—anything. He wants an emotion, rage, happiness, frustration and even hatred (even if Kalluto thinks his heart might break) but Killua doesn't even look at him.
Just walks past Kalluto.
They're not what Kalluto wants them to be.
They're not even brothers anymore.
:: :: ::
Killua turns the camera he's won in a lottery contest around in his hand, examining it from every angle. Sure his brother is a geek but that doesn't mean Killua is actually interested in what Milluki has to collect. And Pig doesn't let him touch anything he owns anyway.
Out of impulsive curiosity, he raises it to his eyes and he presses the button with his index finger.
Click.
Instead of the couple, he sees Kil and Kallu.
Click.
They're laughing, smiling, happy and together, hand-in-hand.
Click.
Killua wants to hold Kalluto's hand too. Feel the small, fragile life in his hands, feels the surge of protectiveness to protect the life.
("Killua," says Gon, a rare frown on his face but it's not out of displeasure, just one of bafflement as he flashes his best friend a picture. "why do you have so many pictures of people we don't know?"
Kil frowns, he doesn't understand. "What're you talking about, Gon? That's me and my brother."
Gon says nothing.)
:: :: ::
Once Killua is free from the stifling Kukuroo Mountain (but it's not his mother's intensity or his father's sudden leniency that makes him feel it's hard to breathe, it's his Kallu's searching violet eyes), the group of friends split at the airport.
They say their farewells, with promises to see one another in Yorkshin City.
Killua is achingly aware that the farewell he's giving isn't to the right person.
:: :: ::
"Do you miss Kallu?" Alluka asks him one day as he's re-watching the film. It's been two years since the outcast Zoldyck siblings have been travelling the world and Killua is starting to believe that he and Allu have seen everything together.
Alluka is happy, Killua is supposed to be too.
Killua is startled by the question, taken off guard, he doesn't answer but Alluka just smiles knowingly. "Why don't we go home?"
"Then they'd lock you up again," rebukes Killua.
"We'd talk things out," reasons Alluka, always optimistic. "I want Killu to be happy."
"I am," he says but they both know he's lying. "I really am happy with you, Allu."
"But there's someone at home who can make you happier."
"I don't think he'd forgive me," Killua whispers but Alluka is already bouncing around the room, packing their clothes and stuffing them into their travelling pack.
Killua only feels dread (heaviness, suffocating and pressing, is on his chest).
:: :: ::
"Please don't let him hate me," he tells Alluka.
"Is that a wish?" Alluka asks coyly.
"No," says Killua. "I want to try my luck first."
Their arrival are not planned but their mother welcomes them with tears anyway, arms thrown around them. Killua sees Alluka's eyes widening in surprise, never expecting such a warm welcome from the mother who had locked her away for years.
Illumi's voice is as toneless. "Welcome back," he says. Alluka's cheeks colored as she smiles at her eldest brother.
Killua's eyebrow twitches. It's Maha's voice that pulls Killua away from his glaring of Illumi.
"He's been waiting. Go say hello, boy."
:: :: ::
"I'm home," says Killua even though it's pointless to speak up because Kalluto must've known.
Kalluto turns.
Killua's not sure who moved towards the other first, but he laughs, joy bubbling in his chest and seeping into every corner of the gloomy black room, as he wraps his arms around his brother's smaller form.
"I'm home," he repeats.
"Welcome home," Kallu says.
His lips curled into a smile; it's an imprint on Killua's neck, his heart and his memory.
He's going to keep this forever.
:: :: ::
Just wanted to try my hand with this pairing, tell me what you think!