You shivered as you stood in the warehouse. All the key players had shown up and started to create a little group. You stood off to the side, Dean standing between you and Sam. You wrapped your arms around yourself as you shivered thanks to the cold. A flash of white warm light filled the room and suddenly everyone's attention was focused in the same area.
You squinted your eyes, raising a hand to block the light as you struggled to see Chuck take his place in front of you all. "Hello My Children." He said, standing on a platform so he could over look you all with his hands interlocked behind his back.
Everyone shifted so they were all looking at him now, and suddenly you felt yourself grow slightly nervous. The fight was about to happen. The fight that you had only planned hours before. The fight that played a huge role for humanity, and they had no idea.
"Him?" Crowley asked, mocking Gods true vessel. Even you had had a hard time believing it. You'd never met Chuck before, but from what you heard, and even what you saw the last few days in the bunker, you were shocked that this was God, Chuck, whatever.
"Rowena." Chuck said looking down at the red head for a moment, "Crowley," This time his voice with a certain disappointment to it. "It's good to finally meet you in person."
Rowena walked forward, heels echoing off the walls as she did. "Sorry about, well, everything I've ever done in my life. Really, you can't have been a fan." She stood next to Crowley, and while you struggled to see, you could tell she was itching to get closer to Chuck.
"Oh. Yeah I have been quietly rooting against you for some time now." Chuck said blatantly and you couldn't help but let out a small laugh. No one turned to you or acknowledged it, and you were glad. "Although, I can't deny, you're one of my guilty treasures." Did Chuck just blush?
Rowena blushed, "Oh. God." She breathed, ringing her hands together.
"Oh, god." Crowley said, rolling his eyes and turning his body away from his mother.
"Alright no flirting. And no fighting!" Dean barked out, his voice deep and commanding. It made you jump, but thankfully you were behind him so he couldn't see. Otherwise you knew he'd never let you live it down. You could tell everyone's gaze shifted to Lucifer, since he was the big bad evil at the party but your eyes went to the red head in the room. She was the most conning in the room, and had the most to be against since everyone in here except Chuck had done her wrong and tried to kill her.
Sam sighed, "And no deals. No talks about who's owned what if we survive this." Sam added, though his focus was on all three of the people in front of him. You focused on the fact that he said "if" and not "when."
Dean didn't skip a beat in adding to the argument. "Nobody likes each other. It doesn't matter."
"We only have the fight ahead." Sam added, his eyes on Crowley and Rowena as he spoke. You stood their feeling small and insignificant as they all powered through this. Your role was just as Dean and Sam's was, to gather the troops for the fight, but still now in this moment with all this power around you you felt small.
"Amara's looking for me." Chuck started, choosing to ignore the bickering happening before him. "But I'm warded against her… For now, the second I drop the warding she'll show. She'll be expecting a fight. And we'll give it to her. Shock and awe. Shock and awe." He raised his hands to show you all what he was talking about. "You have your troops in position?" He asked, eyeing the three main players before him.
Rowena raised a shaky hand. And Chuck cleared his throat. "Yes Rowena?" He asked, not wanting to hear what she could possibly want to say. You too were hesitant too, after all, she was always out for herself, not anyone else.
"Fabulous plan, god. But, doesn't this strategy strike anyone as a wee bit intragenic? Shouldn't we at least try to catch her off guard?" Rowena said, waiting to hear that anyone would agree.
"Is that secret set in stone?" Crowley asked, his hands still in his pockets of his thick black jacket. "Demon, angel, witch power? Seems to me that the first response come from the most disposable force."
You shared an annoyed look with Sam, and you could tell by the way Dean shifted that he too was annoyed with this whole plan. Though, Dean hadn't been a huge fan from the beginning, and with his attraction to the darkness he was more on edge than anyone here.
"Alright, good argument doggy" Lucifer neared Crowley. Mocking the way Crowley talked. "Demons first it is!"
Crowley hid his annoyance with Lucifer, ignoring the comment and voicing his own. "The weakest should go first naturally that means the witches." Rowena didn't look back, but the scoff that left her lips told you she was upset with the plan.
You sighed, running a hand through your hair as you listened to everyone bicker. You didn't expect any less, after all everyone in this room hated one another for some reason. "Enough." Sam said, making everyone shut the hell up for a moment.
"After that," Chuck started again, once more ignoring the fact that the hostility was thick in the air. "It's Lucifer's turn. Physical attack. One on one."
Dean cleared his throat, "What about Cas?" He asked, the concern for his fallen friend evident on his voice. Sam and you shared another look before Sam shared one with his brother. Castiel had been a hot topic between the two lately, difference of opinions and concern.
"Oh don't worry your pet's safety is my highest concern." Lucifer rolled his eyes, and when he got no response he concluded his statement. "Trust me he's on board."
"Once she's been weakened. I will take the mark back from Amara and use it to seal her away." Chuck continued. And you felt your throat clog. Talking about the mark made you nervous and you hoped beyond hope that Chuck wasn't about to rat you out. "You ready?" He asked, his eyes on you.
"Yeah." Sam said, but Chuck watched as you nodded your head. He gave you a faint smile to see he understood, but no one else noticed. Instead you watched Dean shift his gaze to his brother.
"Wait, what?" Dean asked.
Sam waited a moment before talking, swallowing the lump in his throat and avoiding direct eye contact with you and his brother. "God and I talked about this. Someone needs to bare the mark." Sam's glance lingered on you a little longer, since this was the first time Sam had betrayed your trust like this. Which only made the lump in your throat grow larger as you were dying to tell him the truth.
"Well, that should be me I've had it before, I'm damaged goods." Dean countered. You stood back, trying to remain as quiet as you could.
"Exactly, you've already been tainted. I can't transfer it to you." Chuck answered. "Sam volunteered."
Dean grabbed at Sam's arm and dragged him off to the corner where they started talking one on one. You shifted on the balls of your feet, sharing a glance with Sam before turning away to hide the tears in your eyes. Chuck gave you another small nod to let you know it was going to be alright. Even if the two of you were dying to say something.
*.*
You hadn't mentioned to Sam that you had over heard him talking to Chuck a moment before. You played it off like you had just left the kitchen with some water, instead of listening in on Sam signing his life away to bare the mark. You overhear him tell Chuck not to mention it to anyone, specially you since he knew how hurt you would be.
You walked with him to his room, your room, the room you both currently shared and watched him shrug out of his t-shirt like nothing had happened. He pulled you close to him, using one of his hands to pull you into a kiss and you tried your hardest to pretend like it wasn't your last with him. But everything about it was different. Normally Sam would kiss you with such a passion you felt your knee's go weak. You'd feel his tongue darting across your lips begging for entrance. But tonight, his kiss was slow, deep, and held a new found love you hadn't felt from him before.
And you couldn't take it. You pushed yourself off of him, your hands pressing against his bare chest. He raised his hands in defeat as he watched you turn tail and run out of the room. He didn't know why, but as he called out and chased you down the hall he felt like he had done something wrong. So when you locked yourself in the bathroom and turned the shower on so you could cry you hoped he would just go back to the room and wait for you.
But he didn't. No, he sat there in front of the door on the ground and waited for you to return. He caught you when you tripped over him as you finally left the bathroom. "Y/N? Are you okay?"
"Yeah I guess the stress of all this is getting to me." You almost lied. Sure, you had been stressed and worried about the whole plan. Unlike the majority you agreed with Dean and wanted to kill the Darkness rather than risk her being free or some silly error. "I'll be okay. I just need a night of sleep." You pat his shoulder and rose to your feet.
Now you lay next to him, hearing the soft deep breaths that told you he was asleep. You snuck out from under him, and slunk off out of the room. You quietly closed the door behind you and searched to make sure no one was wandering the halls before you made your way down them. You could hear soft music being heard from Dean's room, could hear the clanking of glass as he poured himself another drink.
But Dean wasn't who you were searching for right now. No. you wanted to see Chuck. "Chuck?" You asked, rounding the corner to the library. He looked up at you, and nodded telling you you could come join him. "I just..." You started, your voice breaking from how nervous you were. "Don't give Sam the mark."
You sat across from the table from Chuck, curling your knee's to your chest. There was along moment of silence as Chuck watched you, which only made your heart race faster. "He asked for it." Chuck answered crossing his arms over his chest. He had on his fatherly voice, the one he used earlier on Lucifer which made you nervous.
"I know. But he can't handle it. Give it to me instead." You said, and while you felt the words come out of your mouth and didn't want to believe you had said them. That wasn't your intention when you came out here. You simply needed consoling that Sam was still going to be Sam, that he was light enough to bare the Darkness. That he was going to be okay, that this wasn't going to kill him
"Are you sure? Y/N, it's a rather large responsibility to bare the mark." Chuck eyed you, and suddenly you felt insecure.
"I know. But Sam can't have it. And I heard you explain that Dean can't bare it again either." You put your feet on the ground and leaned forward. The sincerity in your voice pleading with him. The tears you held back earlier threatened you again, but you held yourself together the best you could.
Chuck leaned forward now, his voice softer than before, and you could tell, he was considering it. "What makes you think Sam can't handle the mark?"
"I love Sam; with all my heart I do." You sighed, "But Sam isn't strong enough to go through all of… that." You gestured to the room.
Chuck leaned back in his chair, his hand covering his mouth as he thought about all you were saying. "And you are?"
You looked up at him, thinking about this. You were by no means stronger than Sam or Dean. Not even the combined physical strength of the two. But it was more than that. So much more. "No. But Sam is a good guy, and Dean needs him. They need each other more than they need me around. I can take the mark and get sent off to that far off place where I can't hurt anyone. It's the best option. Sam has to stay here, live his life, keep saving people. Dean too."
Chuck nodded his head. "Look. Just, don't say anything to them." You stood, hoping that Chuck would do what you asked. "When it comes time to give someone the mark just, don't give it to Sam." You started to leave, to walk back to the bed where Sam still lay. Eventually he would wake up and the last thing you wanted him to do was figure out what you were doing.
"It'll hurt him, both of them." Chuck said, forcing you to stop just before you were completely out of the room. "And you're okay with that?"
"I know. But Sam and Dean will forget all about me once we win and the world is safe again." You sighed, dragging your sock covered feet down the hall back to Sam.
*.*
There Amara stood, beaten and battered after her fight with the witches, angels, demons, and even Lucifer. Blood oozed from her stomach where Lucifer had stabbed her, and the many cuts covering her body left her more than weak. This was it, it was time.
"Finish it." She stood from her knees. Holding on to the railing at her side for dear life. "Kill me."
You watched Chuck fight back the pain he was feeling. This was his sister, god or not. "I'm sorry" He said, his lips shaking.
You could hear the sizzle from the mark on her chest even from your distance. "No. No. No." Amara yelled, her eyes meeting her newly lit up mark on her chest burning through her dress. You watched as Sam rolled up his sleeve, ready to feel the pain of the mark moving to him. Even Dean was anticipating helping his brother as the mark transferred. He knew the pain, he knew what to expect, and like a good brother he wanted to be there for Sam when it was all over and done with.
So when you bent to your knee's clutching at your chest all eyes were on you. You screamed, pulling at your shirt needing to get it off of you. Sam and Dean fell to your side, Sam ripping at the neck of your shirt to expose the mark forming on you. "Y/N?" He screamed, anger flashing in his eyes for a moment before they were replaced with worry and sadness. Dean rounded you and kneeled on the other side of you, holding you close. "Why Y/N? Why?" Sam pleaded, tears forming in his eyes.
"Because you don't deserve to be the one banished off to nowhere." You managed to choke out between screams. "Its okay Sammy. I love you."
Sam cupped your face and leaned forward, planting his lips on yours. Suddenly the pain was just a dull ache, and all you could think about was Sam's lips on yours. Dean's arm still held you up, but you could feel them loosening from you as he grew more uncomfortable with the kissing happening in front of him.
Sam pried his lips off of yours, not before planting a kiss on your forehead and watching as the mark continued to grow. It was clearly visible now, and like before the pain had returned. You clenched your teeth and let the pain wash over you. Telling yourself this was okay, that you needed to do this, that it needed to be done.
"I'm so sorry." Chuck said, watching as the mark was almost completely transferred from his sister to you.
"No! Not again." Amara's hand reached out gripping Chucks neck in one tight grasp. "Not that ever again!"
You heard Lucifer get thrown across the room, dropping his weapon and hitting his back against a wall with a thud. "Goodbye nephew." You covered your eyes from the bright light that was Lucifer leaving Cas' body.
"Cas!" Dean yelled, and lunged forward from you to attack Amara, only to be met with an invisible force that threw him against the wall behind him. Sam clutched to you as he fell back, arms holding you close to protect you.
Chuck hovered in the air as he continued to choke. "I'd died a million times, murder you a million more before going back there." And just as suddenly Chuck was choking and the white hot pain on your chest stopped. "Tell me, if you won't change, why should I?" Black smoke came from around her feet and floated up towards Chuck.
"Amara no!" Dean yelled. And Amara looked over at him for a brief second before continuing to attack Chuck. Chuck looked at the smoke surrounding him, fear riddled through his body. One by one the thick black smoke bodies attacked him.
"Sorry brother." Amara said, the bitterness in the tone was clearly heard by all of you. Chuck began to be swallowed into a ball of light, forcing you all to cover your eyes until you heard his body hit the floor.
"Amara what have you done?" Dean asked, struggling to rise back to his feet. You could hear him panting in pain and knew that both you and Sam wanted to help, but- Chuck.
"He's dead?" Sam asked, leaning forward. His arm left you as he got a better view of Chuck laying on the ground before you all. "Gods dead."
*.*
You took a moment to lean against the door as you snuck back into Sam's room. He hadn't moved, but then again you hadn't been gone that long. You breathed in a shaky breath and let a tear run down your face. "I am so sorry Sam." You said, knowing full well that he couldn't hear you. "I just. I need to do this for you, for Dean, and for the good of everyone." You fell to the floor, back leaning against the door. A small light shown in the room, enough to illuminate Sam's face.
"You know, you always asked why I started hunting, how I got into the life." You laughed, wiping the tears streaming down your face. "And I would always make a joke, tell you some silly story to advert you from the truth. And you'd be wary about it, but you'd shrug it off and laugh."
"I liked that about you. You never tried to force me to tell you things I didn't want to. And I've wanted to tell you for so long, but it was just never the right time. Or when it was, Dean would be around, or Cas, and I just couldn't bring myself to tell all of them." You stood, reaching out to touch his face as you crawled back into bed. He held you close, nudging his head in the crook of your neck and he was asleep again.
You savored the moment, knowing that in a few short hours everything was going to be ending. You breathed in deep, running your fingers through his hair, brushing it away from his face so you could plant a soft kiss on his forehead. "Uh- I had a sister, older, like you and Dean. And she came home for a visit, she just finished school and wanted to celebrate." You tried to wipe the tears from your eyes but found Sam's grip on you too tight.
"Little did we know our local bar was riddled with monsters. So when we walked in we put bright neon signs on ourselves. And when we were kidnapped and told-" Your crying was starting to affect your whole body now and you feared Sam waking up. "I gave her up the second he let me talk. I gave my sister up so I could live. I let her die so I could run and be free." You sobbed into Sam, clutching at him and holding him close.
"So you see, I have to do this. Call it redemption, call it my pay back. Whatever. It has to be me Sammy. I'm not a good person. Not like you and Dean. You'll understand. You have to."
*.*
You watched Sam and Dean make the rounds, checking on Castiel and Chucks vessels. You knew you were next, but fear rose inside of you as you realized questions would be asked now. It was quiet, and you secretly wished you were like Castiel and Chuck, unconscious. "Y/N? Are you okay?" Sam asked, towering over you even as he bent to his knees you felt small.
Sam pulled your shirt away, seeing where the mark had attempted to be printed on you. His fingers brushed over your skin, warm and familiar. You closed your eyes, marveling in the gentleness of his touch before he quickly drew his fingers away.
You gulped the lump in your throat down, missing the feeling of him. You sighed, "Yeah. I feel okay." Sam helped you to your feet, standing close to you as he continued to watch your every move, not believing you. You brushed off the dirt on your pants keeping your eyes down, as Sam was currently wearing his hurt puppy eyes.
Sam took a step back, sadness in his eyes as he shoved his hands in his pockets. "Why was God giving you the mark? I thought-" He ran a hand through his hair, "I thought I made a deal with him so I would have it."
"Which I am still not okay with!" Dean added, nearing the two of you now. Unlike Sam, he just looked pissed, at the two of you. He crossed his arms over his chest, standing like a disappointed father looking over his two bad children.
"I uh-" You shook your head, trying to not focus on Dean's obvious anger. "I overheard you talking to Chuck about it. And when you went to bed, I asked him to give it to me instead." You felt confident with your answer despite knowing that this information was going to lead to more questions, questions you really didn't want to answer. Sure you had confessed your feelings to Sam while he was sleeping, but watching his reaction would break your heart.
Sam took a moment to think about what you said, he licked his lips and shifted his feet. "Why Y/N?" His voice was small, and you could hear the break in it when he said your name.
"Because you both need each other" You gestured to Sam and Dean, you even went out and gestured to Cas's body. "You don't need me." Your eyes started to water despite the anger you were expressing. And you had to take a moment to breathe in deep. "And because you don't deserve to go through that hell."
"And you do? Come on, Y/N, you're one of the coolest chicks I know." Dean said, and the sincerity in his voice made your heart ache. Most the time Dean was poking fun at you. Always for the best, but still, never anything nice coming from him.
You shook your head. "Thanks Dean. But I did what I had to do. Now let's get these two out of here and stop worrying about me. The mark didn't work, so it's not a big deal. Come on."
Dean nodded in approval but as you walked past Sam you knew he was still questioning why and probably a million other things. But like the many other times, he ignored his gut and didn't ask any questions. You sighed, knowing full well that you were going to have to explain things to him. But for now at least you could focus on your work.