Riza Hawkeye sat down comfortably on her couch in her apartment, reading a book and listening to music. She was reading a book that her friend, Rebecca had given her for her birthday who knows how many years ago. In the middle of the book where the main character was remembering the past in remorse, a song began playing over the radio that made Riza pay closer attention to the lyrics.
"I see in front of my eyes, all of these truths and all these lies, as their colors go and fade away…"
She put her book down on her lap, closing it while putting a finger between the pages so she wouldn't lose the spot. Still listening to the contents of the song on the radio, Riza looked out the window. The sky was cloudy and the air seemed dark and muggy. At that moment, it had begun to sprinkle lightly. Riza sighed and stood up, folding the corner of her page and then putting it down.
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It was around 5 o'clock and Colonel Roy Mustang was making his way back home. That was, of course, until the rain began falling upon him. This damn rain. Why the hell did it make him so useless? Groaning, Roy looked up at the sky. From sprinkling to drizzling, Roy's face was splashed wet with the tears of the clouds. Such a depressing setting as was this gray clouds crying always made Roy feel down. He would always think back to those days. Those days.
"Although you're close to me, and you're warmth covers me, I can't keep these wandering thoughts at bay."
Riza Hawkeye. Yes, she was the one who always helped him on days like these. For some strange reason, she would always have this strange intuition that knew when Roy was in trouble. No matter where she was or what she was doing, she would always seem to have a knack of coming to save Roy's butt no matter how little the problem was. She was always there for him and Roy was grateful for it.
"You told me to go onward and said my path will not be blurred as you turn away and say good-bye."
But Riza was always that kind of person to withdraw quickly without the want of accepting Roy's thanks. But… maybe she didn't want to arise any suspicions of any kind of romance between them. For Riza, their relationship was a professional one. A superior and subordinate who just happened to have a childhood together. Even if Riza did want to stay with Roy, she would always leave before he could even offer her a cup of tea. That fact confused Roy, yet he let it be. Riza was just well… Riza.
"Those words of empathy do not encourage me and I cannot help but break down and cry."
Even since the beginning, Riza was there in Roy's life. He heard her clearly when she had promised to follow him to the depths of hell if asked. Then when they had become officers, she encouraged him and stayed by his side, assuring him that Roy would become Fuhrer soon. But… with the events of the Elric brothers, the homunculi, and an actual homunculi being the Fuhrer, Roy felt everything slip away. It was a frustrating feeling knowing that because of the situation now, being Fuhrer would be a harder task.
"All of these memories, ringing endlessly inside my mind, have no intentions of forgiving me yet. If I close my eyes, they only grow and start surrounding me. These memories that I can't forget..."
Roy looked around for shelter from the rain. The only thing nearby was an overhang from a closed off building. He walked in that direction and sat down, leaning against the building with his legs pressed up against his chest. His hands were covering his face and he thought deeper through the past events of his days.
"The rain falls, I wonder if it will ever end.It's so cold, straining my body for quite some time.The rain falls on me, and it is striking down upon my face. Why does it choose me, who has nowhere to escape?"
The rain was now pouring. Puddles in front of Roy splashed at his feet as more rain fell on it. He didn't mind though. At least he stopped caring a while ago. It was just that this stupid rain made him feel so depressed. Maybe it was the after effects of Hughes' death.
"Though this untainted morning that I have finally reached to is entangled by the past I knew."
The burial of Maes Hughes. It had rained then. Metaphorically at least. To Roy's amazement, it never actually did rain that day. The damn world didn't care if Hughes died or not. He was just another little living thing of this huge world.
"Instead of moving on, towards my own futureI was stuck in my own remorseful past."
Hughes was his friend even from that time in Ishbal. Ishbal. Yes, that was one thing that kept Roy driving forward. He wanted to restore the place that he himself had once destroyed. Though it may not be anywhere near atone for the sins he made in that time, he wanted to restore it. He felt obligated to do so. It had been a terrible and traumatizing time. Wounds of that time still lingered and Roy knew it.
"And though you tried to help and tried to motivate me to keep on all my fears of losing my way just made me weak."
Even if Roy was so traumatized by that event, it was Riza who seemed to stay so strong. She was always there, always urging for him to move on. Riza. Maybe she couldn't find him there.
"Walking around blindly,I think it's time for my own teardrops to fall down my conflicted cheeks."
Roy stood up and began walking through the blinding rain. Tears burned as thoughts swarmed him mind. They were always of the past no matter how recent, far, or terrifying they were. Days of rain always made him think of that even if he chose not to show it. Always. Now, Roy wasn't sure whether it was tears or rain running down his face. He didn't know anymore. Now it was Riza who was on his mind.
"I don't want my eyes to know about those past days. I'll just wait till the rain starts to wash it away."
He wiped the rain and tears from his face. This damned rain. Roy once recalled how Edward Elric had tried sitting in the rain, waiting for the bad thoughts to get washed away. And just as then, now was no different. The rain only made Roy think of the past more as the rain fell upon the ground harder. Washing away the little happy thoughts he had left to think of.
"All my wounds of my past start to heal at a gentle pace. I've finally found the end of my road today."
Out of the corner of his eye, he could have sworn he saw someone walk by. But when he looked in that direction, Roy realized it was probably just a trick of his eyes. A trick of the rain. He leaned against a building wall, staring up at the cloudy skies again. The rain fell down so hard Roy didn't know where he was anymore. He stayed where he was, cursing himself for losing his way.
"The rain falls, I wonder if it will ever end? It's so cold, straining my body for quite some time.The rain falls on me, but I wonder could it maybe,embrace me tightly, hide all my pain?"
Roy was now cursing the rain, wishing for it to end so he could just walk home in peace. Take a nap or drink some beer to drown away all that he was thinking. But now, all he was thinking of was the cold. Roy wished he could snap his fingers and create a warm fire but he was useless in the rain. But maybe… the rain would do him some good and maybe hide him from all his worries.
"The rain falls, I wonder if it knows how to stop? But today, it falls without resolution."
The rain was stupid. Roy didn't like the rain. The rain made Roy useless. Especially now, Roy felt useless. He had lost his way and couldn't see anything past his outstretched arm. But it was then when he saw a sure figure out in the distance. If he squinted his eyes. Roy was positive he saw someone there. Someone familiar?
"You held out your hand holding an umbrella over my head.You nestled with me, warming me with all your hope."
"Sir, you're out in the rain again. If you stay out here any longer, you're going to catch a cold," Riza scolded in exasperation. "You shouldn't be out here! What are you doing?" she continued on. She was holding an umbrella over his head to shield him from the rain.
Roy looked at her, shocked. His shock then turned into a warm smile which stopped her pointless scolding.
"Colonel, what are you smiling about?" she asked him curiously.
Without hesitation, Roy wrapped his arms around her. "Thank you…" he muttered in her ear.
"What for?"
"Just… thank you…"
Awkwardly, Riza returned the hug, still decided whether this was appropriate or not.
Though Riza may not know, Roy was completely and entirely grateful that Riza had appeared there that day.
"How did you find me?" Roy whispered, tears raining from his eyes in happiness.
"I'll show you the little birdie who told me you were in the rain when I take you back to my apartment, sir," Riza replied, a light smile on her face. "Let's go."
Rain. It was Rain that told Riza.
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OwlCookies: the song is "Rain" by Sid. The lyrics I used wer translated to English. Yes… I know this is an ed song but it reminded me so much of royai… cuz I love royai B3
I don't kno if tht made sense or anything becuz I typed tht up pretty much "unconsciously" im sorry…