Disclaimer: Not mine. Dick Wolf, NBC and associated parties retain all rights, holdings and etc.
A/N: A dark, angsty one-shot about what might happen if Deakins decided not to turn a blind eye.
In the End
In the end, it was one small slip that exposed them. Just a tiny, almost insignificant slip, one that only an amateur would make. They'd sworn that they'd never let down their guard, and it was fourteen months before they broke that promise.
In a situation like theirs, they couldn't afford even one mistake. If they hadn't been the star detectives of the NYPD, they would have slipped up much earlier. But they spent their days looking for that one slip in a suspect that would eventually damn him, and so they knew all the pitfalls to avoid. No first names at work, at least, not for Bobby. No talking about their plans for outside of work. No comments that would alert others that they knew way too much about each other, things that only lovers would know.
It was excruciating, especially in the beginning, when they finally succumbed to the feelings that they had been suppressing for years. Fourteen months brought them control, but it also ushered in a new host of problems. They knew too much about each other, small, precious details that they had to forget every morning they walked through the doors at One Police Plaza. It was those details that endeared them to each other, and it was those details that damned them in the end.
They could have blamed it on the constant exhaustion that seemed more like a job description than an unfortunate by-product, but afterwards they wondered if subconsciously they'd been planning for this moment, anticipating it, perhaps even wanting it, and finally accepting and giving into it. After all, even the deepest of loves runs shallow when it has to be hidden from the world fourteen hours out of each day.
So when Goren looked over at Alex that fateful Friday afternoon and asked the damning question, to which Alex provided an equally damning answer, they both knew in that instant that it was over.
Deakins, who had been passing by their desk, avoided the knee jerk reaction to swing around and confront them. Out of respect for their work and the last few moments of their privacy, he muttered quietly, "You two come see me before you head out of here."
Bobby quickly met Alex's eyes then looked away, but not before mouthing, "Sorry." Alex shook her head, rejecting his apology and simultaneously acknowledging her role in their downfall.
And so they trudged into Deakins' office, Bobby stepping back to allow Alex to go first, a gentleman to the end, both wondering, in the end, just what this mistake would cost them.