Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me, nor the world that they live in. They all belong to the wonderful and talented author, Cassandra Clare.

PART 1

PORTALS OF DISCOVERY

"A man's errors are his portals of discovery."

~James Joyce

______________________________________________

Chapter 1: Confirmation

Lucian took a deep breath as the clean country air of Idris filled his lungs. Idris' air had a unique smell; actually it had no smell at all. That's what it made it so unique. He walked across the gravel pathway, and pushed past the black wrought iron gates and stepped into the grounds of the Fairchild Manor. His leather shoulder strap bag kept bouncing against his waist matching the rhythm of his footsteps. He increased his pace as he passed the oak trees, and the various flowers that adorned the gardens of his best friend's house.

The sturdy front doors waited eagerly for him, and Lucian grasped the broad brass knocker and knocked twice, just like he did every morning. When Jocelyn and Lucian were much younger, they used to walk to the Training Institute together, as per Amatis' request. Now that they were older, the "buddy system" wasn't really necessary. Lucian just liked walking with Jocelyn, and she liked walking with him. Thus the old tradition remained alive.

"Good morning, Lucian," Mr. Fairchild greeted, as he opened the doors widely for Lucian. Normally Jocelyn would open the door and let him inside, but apparently today was going to be something different.

"Hey. Good morning to you, too. Is Jocelyn here?" Lucian's bright blue eyes scanned past Mr. Fairchild and into the hallway that lead to the kitchen. She wasn't eating breakfast in there like he thought she would. Only Mrs. Fairchild was to be seen arranging some purple flowers in a glass vase.

"No, I'm afraid Jocelyn isn't ready yet. She's in her room right now; I'll let her know you are here. She'll be down soon, I suppose. Why don't you come in and sit down?" The kind aging man gestured for Lucian to wait in the living room.

As Mr. Fairchild went up the stairs, Lucian set his leather bag down, and took a seat on one of the large comfy couches. He looked around the room and studied the various family portraits and other paintings that adorned the wall. Some of them, Lucian noticed, were of Jocelyn's parents and her grandparents, but there were many people in these painting that he had never seen before. He kept glancing around the room until his eyes rested on one large framed painting. It was one that he hadn't seen before, but he recognized the person immediately. It was Jocelyn. Her jade green eyes shined brightly at him, and her smile lit up her whole face. Jocelyn's red hair was elegantly styled in a fashionable updo, and she was wearing a beautiful white dress that complimented her nicely.

Just then Mr. Fairchild sauntered into the room, and began speaking. Lucian stopped studying Jocelyn's portrait.

"Oh, I see you've noticed our newest painting. Your best friend had this painting done for our family. Yes, Valentine did. It came out nicely, don't you think? Anyways, Jocelyn asked if you could talk to her. She's upstairs in her room still, and is apparently upset about something. Not at you, I don't think..." he added to reassure Lucian.

Lucian marched up the stairs, talking two steps at a time. Meanwhile, many thoughts ran through his head. Odd, he thought. If Jocelyn wanted to talk to me she could have come down the stairs and talked to me. Maybe she's really upset about this graduation thing. But that's not really like her. She's been excited to leave Idris and "fight demons and restore peace throughout the world". In fact, she's been very excited for the past few weeks. Well, I guess that's mainly because she just got engaged to Valentine. And why didn't she tell me Valentine had hired someone to paint a portrait of her?

He reached the top stair, turned left at the hallway and walked up to Jocelyn's room. He paused stared at the sign that was taped to her door: Enter...only if you dare. Jocelyn had done the lettering by hand, and had drawn several Shadowhunter weapons and runes around it. Some appeared to jump right off the page. For a second Lucian wondered if they would materialize right in front of his eyes. He should have been used to Jocelyn's artistic abilities by now, but one could never just get used to Jocelyn's skills. She was one of the most talented Shadowhunter Lucian knew, apart from Valentine, of course.

Lucian knocked gently at her door, and Jocelyn opened it immediately. She barely allowed him to enter into the room before she shut the door. She didn't say anything to him, but motioned with her hand for Lucian to sit down, like a headmaster would gesture his students to take a seat. Lucian looked around for a place to sit but noticed that her chair was stacked with papers, so he obediently took a seat on the edge of her bed. He looked up and stared blankly out her window.

Sunlight flitted through the strong glass windows of the Jocelyn's room, and brightened everything that it touched, except for Jocelyn and her sullen mood. She was pacing back and forth in her room, letting her thoughts wander, completely unaware of Lucian watching her every move. It wasn't like her to ignore Lucian while he was at her house, in fact it was extremely odd because he wasn't being sarcastic like usual.

"C'mon Jocelyn. What's the matter? Tomorrow's only the last day of school. Big deal. We've trained for so many years now; it's about time we grow up and explore the world for our own. Move to different institutes and work for the Clave or something," he began trying to reassure her. He knew she was worried, but when did worrying ever help anyone? At some point or another, Jocelyn was going to have to accept the reality of all that was happening, and get on board with the rest of the world.

"You think my problem has something to do with it being the last day of school? I am not afraid to leave the comforting, sheltered environment of school, and embrace adventure. When have I ever been scared of a new challenge? That's not what I am worried about at all." She laughed sardonically before continuing. Lucian just raised his eyebrows and let her continue; apparently his advice was totally pointless.

"Lucian, I am worried about Madeleine. She completely disapproves of Valentine, and thinks he is a cruel man, who 'emits this charm that masks his true identity'. How can anyone suggest something like that? About Valentine, my Valentine? It isn't like her to say stuff like that. Could she possibly be jealous? I mean, that jealous? Ugh, why does she hate me?!"

Lucian was quiet for a few moments, while Jocelyn took a deep breath and sat down on her bed next to him, and crisscrossed her legs. An eerie silence developed, and he knew that he had to say something before she misinterpreted his silence. He had been avoiding the discussion of Valentine because it pained him to talk about it. Every time she said "My Valentine" it felt like her words turned into daggers that would attack him viciously and brutally pierce his heart. He loved Jocelyn, but he felt that he wasn't worthy of someone like her. She was smart, fierce, and more creative in comparison to anyone else he had met. Plus, she had a heart large enough to love the whole world. Valentine was the type of man she deserved. He was charming, brilliant, intelligent, witty, physically able of doing anything, and had emitted every quality Lucian felt he did not posses. Of course Jocelyn deserved someone better than himself. She deserved his parabatai, not him. He cleared his throat to indicate that he was ready to answer her question, and slowly looked up to meet her olive green eyes.

"Jocelyn, I don't think Madeleine is jealous. She may be, but whatever it is, she doesn't hate you. She can't possibly hate you. She's your friend... just like I am. And I promise to be here for you no matter what. Madeleine has been your friend as long as I have, and if she cares about you at least half as much as I care about you, then you can be certain that she will be here for you too. Even if she doesn't approve of Valentine." The silence that followed his statement was even more awkward than the silence that existed before. He averted his gaze, and took to memorizing the familiar pattern on her quilt. Peacock blue squares surrounded by dark triangles, enclosed in circles a shade of blue he did not know the name of.

"Lucian, you are so sweet. You'll always be my best friend too." Jocelyn reached out for his hand, and he, obligingly, let her hold it.

He half-smiled. He knew she missed the hidden meaning behind his words. But Jocelyn was meant to be Valentine's, and there was no point in telling her how he felt. It would only hurt her, and upset her. It would mean that Jocelyn had to choose between him, and Valentine. Her choice would be clear, and he knew he couldn't deal with that. Furthermore, he knew it would pain her to have to choose, and no iratze would heal her then. And that was the last thing Lucian ever wanted. For now, being her best friend was good enough.

"Meet me downstairs. We'll have to attend the last classes of the year, and practice for the Confirmation ceremony that'll happen tonight at Angel Square. It's 8:00 already, meaning we need to get going. You're lucky we only need to be at the Training Institute around 8:30 today. Normally by this time, we'd be late. Oh, and I'm not sure our trainer, Genavio Blackstrum would like to see you attend Botany class in your "yellow ducky" jammies. You don't want to be punished for wearing childish clothing, do you? Although I'm sure that his punishment won't be anything in comparison to humiliating yourself in front of everyone. Valentine in particular." He grinned widely, and ducked out of the way as Jocelyn chucked a pillow at his head.

"Really, if it weren't for your comforting speech a few minutes ago, I would slap you right now. Besides, I like these jammies, thank you very much. Now shoo, if you know what's best for you."

The look in Jocelyn's fierce eyes told Lucian more than her words did, and her gold glowing electrum whip on her dresser told him even more. She wouldn't hurt him, but he wouldn't put past her to teach him a lesson either.

He traipsed over to door, and looked at her red hair. He could afford to tease her one more time; after all, it was brightening up her mood.

"And you might want to do something about your hair. Honestly, it looks like red ball of knotted yarn that Amatis' cat played with."

"My hair?" Jocelyn lifted her soft creamy hands and began fixing her hair which was messily twisted in a bun-like formation. It was held together by the graphite pen that she grabbed off her drawing table and angrily stabbed into her hair earlier this morning. Generally her hair wouldn't be this tangled, but this was the consequence of not brushing it after she had taken a shower the previous night. She was too stressed out about the situation with Madeleine that she had forgotten. As she slowly removed the pen and let her hair down, she thought of how Valentine had commented on how beautiful her hair looked at the dance. She felt silly about thinking him while evaluating the state of her appearance.

Lucian watched her, with his head tilted in amusement and confusion. But instead of blushing, she held her composure and all she said was, "Lucian, say one more thing about my looks, and I will seriously do something to you." Her eyes momentarily flashed to her whip, and then they returned back to his eyes. "Just get out before I do something. Get out."

His grin only widened, and his blue eyes sparkled at her before he waltzed out her room. It was impossible to be mad at Lucian, whose every comment only made her laugh after she'd calmed down.

"Hey, Mrs. Fairchild," he called while dashing down the stairs, "how about some of your famous coconut pancakes?"

Musing to herself, Jocelyn absentmindedly smiled as she shut the door, and looked through her closet for her clothes. When did her mother not make those pancakes for breakfast when Lucian was over?

***

"Miss Verson, congratulations on your exam. You have successfully passed, and I am surprised that you even managed to answer the trickier questions accurately. I realize Study of World Folklore and Mythology have always been your weaknesses, but lately you've been performing much better on your examinations. A nice way to end your education, don't you think?" Darius Hartslimp reached out to shake her hand, and smiled at her.

"Thank you, sir. I am surprised myself." She shook her teacher's wrinkled hand, and returned his smile before she went back down to her seat. She lied. Maryse could not believe how well she had done, but she wasn't exactly surprised either. Valentine had been tutoring her, just like he had been tutoring many others at school. It was because of his brilliant teaching methods that she had managed to pass this class with excellent marks.

She glanced across the room, and caught Valentine's striking eyes. "Thank you" she mouthed. He smiled and nodded graciously before he was called upon by Darius. There isn't anything Valentine won't do to help his friends, she thought, as he stood up with his broad muscular angled to face her. But immediately a voice in the back of her head responded, "You don't know that for sure though." The voice spoke the truth. She had never known whether or not he considered his classmates as friends, but then she thought of Lucian. Lucian and Valentine were close, practically like brothers – obviously, since they were parabatai. They had fought many demons outside of Idris, more than she had. Then again, Maryse hadn't been lucky enough to have the opportunity, but one day she would. Her thoughts went back to Valentine, as she admitted to herself the undeniable truth; there wasn't anything she wouldn't do for Valentine, but she wasn't sure if Valentine would return the favor.

***

"How'd you do?" Lucian panted loudly, trying to catch his breath from running over to Jocelyn's Hoplology class which was on the other side of the Institute.

She smiled modestly, "I did okay."

Lucian grinned. He knew that Jocelyn's definition of "okay" was getting a near perfect score.

"I'm sure you did wonderfully, as always, Jocelyn. You know your weapons just as well as I, or Lucian does." Valentine walked over, and took both of Jocelyn's hands in his own, and smiled at her radiantly.

Lucian's stomach did a back flip as he saw the crimson color appear on her cheeks. Yuck, he thought, does Valentine always have to flirt with her?

"Lucian, shall we meet at Faerie's Cafe an hour prior to the start of the Confirmation ceremony?"

"Sure, is there any particular reason?" Lucian answered, desperately trying to mimic Valentine's unique form of articulation.

"Yes, I want to talk to you. Maryse, Malachi, Stephen, Robert, Hodge, just to name a few, will also be there. I want to discuss a highly important matter. And Jocelyn, you'll accompany me, won't you?" Valentine turned his gaze away from Lucian to Jocelyn.

Lucian noticed how mesmerized Jocelyn appeared when she replied that she would go with him. It bothered him that Jocelyn would so easily trust Valentine, but then again, he as well as his other classmates did too. It was hard not to trust Valentine – his voice and his eyes – simply asked others to trust him. He was loved by everyone, and cherished more than gold. That's what Mrs. Fairchild and the other adults had called him, Golden Boy.

Sometimes Lucian wondered if he was making and the others were a mistake by trusting Valentine so easily. But the thought seemed so ridiculous; Valentine was his parabatai – he would never let anything happen to Lucian. The only reason he was having these thoughts was because he was jealous of Valentine and he was ashamed of himself. He felt the guilt wrap around him and enclose him. It was wrong to doubt your parabatai, and especially someone like Valentine. Of all the times they had fought demons for practice, Lucian could not think of one time Valentine failed to protect him from harm's way. True, Valentine would not step in his battles until necessary – Valentine claimed that it would allow Lucian to grow and acquire more skill as well as attain self-satisfaction. Besides, who wanted someone to step into their battles and steal the glory? Valentine knew exactly what he was doing, and Lucian knew that it was best to trust him.