I hope you enjoy the story! Its mostly just fluff, some humor and more fluff! There is no cursing or cussing in it, so you don't have to worry. NO YAOI

Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist

On most days when at work, Roy usually felt mildly stressed. It would mostly be from the humongous stacks of paperwork that his lieutenant would bring him throughout the day which seemed to almost magically never end, even if he was really trying to complete it. Most times with the barrel of a gun directed at his head as he did so, to prevent him from once again slacking off.

But, today was different. Today. Was. WORSE.

Colonel Roy Mustang hadn't felt this horrible in a really long time. He had a huge headache, he was exhausted from lack of sleep due to a certain sniper woman threatening to put a bullet in his head if he didn't finish at least half of the paperwork that she had given him the night before, so he had been forced to stay up to do so.

His best friend who was also a psychotic father/husband refused to stop showing every single living being in the office pictures of his 'precious little angel' and 'wonderful wife.' Hence, the headache grew continuously throughout the day with each new addition of some picture literally getting shoved in his face. And to top it all off, the coffee machine was broken.

Even if the coffee at Central Command headquarters is some of the worst that anyone has ever tasted, it was a life-line of sorts for the colonel. In its absence, all of his subordinates thought it a good idea to give the obviously irritated and ill-tempered man a very wide berth.

After a couple of hours of this, he finally just couldn't take it anymore. He slowly stood up from his desk, trying to not upset his headache by using deliberate movements. Then he proceeded to stiffly walk to the door and pass by all of the confused occupants.

"Uh, boss, where are you going?" Jean Havoc said, his cigar hanging precariously out of the side of his mouth. It really even shouldn't be there, being that it was a violation of headquarters' rules and regulations. However, because of how often it was there and the fact that he made sure to open the window before he started it was just sort of ignored now.

As for his question, Roy simply replied with a gruff "Out" before he walked out the door and then out of the building itself.

He didn't really plan out where he wanted to go, all he knew was that he was in dire need of some fresh air and that perhaps a walk would do him some good.

As he walked through the streets of Central, he noticed a coffee shop at a corner. With his mouth already practically drooling, he made a quick stop there and got a large cup. When he walked out, he basked in the fragrance wafting out of the beverage that was tightly clutched between his hands. He took a large draft of it, than decided a stroll through the park might be able to get his mind off work and get him to relax a bit.

After walking amongst the trees and others who were admiring the beautiful weather and clear sky for give or take an hour, he contemplated going back to work.

With a sigh, he realized that Hawkeye would probably make him work through his lunch break if he continued to walk around for too much longer. And with that horrid thought at the forefront of his mind, he walked rather quickly back to the Central Command.

As he was expecting, there was an even larger tower of paperwork looming high into the air upon his desk, courtesy of the blonde female that now was looking at him with a rather deadly look for being gone for so long.

However, as she had noticed that he had been more stressed out this morning than usual and that he had indeed finished most of his more urgently due paperwork last night, she decided not to press the issue and to just continue with her duties.

"Sir, remember that Fullmetal is expected to come and turn in his report at precisely 2:00." She told him at the doorway to his personal office.

Roy couldn't help but give an agitated groan. Just great, his headache had just begun to wane and now Edward would be here soon, probably ranting at the top of his lungs as usual, resulting in it starting back up once again.

He hoped that today would be one of those days that the youngest state alchemist wouldn't come until a day later, being how irresponsible he was. Then maybe by the time he actually did come to turn in his report, Mustang would be up to the challenge of coming up with clever comebacks and short-jokes. He chuckled lightly at the thought of the ones that he had added to his arsenal just a little while ago, but cringed as pain swept through his head.

After completing a somewhat decent-sized amount of the endless paper sheets within the span of about two hours, he took a moment to glance around the office and at all of his working subordinates. Suddenly, a thought struck him.

"Lieutenant, where's Havoc?"

"Major Hughes had brought his daughter into work with him today. However, it was needed of him to go look over a nearby crime scene to gather more information on it. He asked the second lieutenant to watch her doing his absence."

Interesting. "What was the crime?"

Riza's posture made it clear that it wasn't anything serious, but he still wanted to know what his best friend was a part of. "Just a mere break-in sir, nothing more than an individual attempting to steal a vase from a businessman's household. However, the officials just wanted to make sure that there was nothing important that he had unknowingly gotten away with, hence the major getting called in."

Checking the time, Roy saw that it was way past his usual lunch break and just a little before when Fullmetal was expected to come and turn in his report. Quickly, Roy decided it might be good to try to relax as much as possible before that time came.

That is, if Fullmetal would even show up at all.

He got up once again and told Hawkeye that he was going back out. She was about to disagree, seeing how he had only finished about an hour's worth of paperwork because of his earlier departure. He gave the excuse that he couldn't concentrate on an empty stomach, so she had reluctantly agreed.

However, there was a condition that he had to pay to be able to. And that was that he would have to work well into the night to make up for all of the lost time that he had 'wasted.' Hesitantly, he accepted it.

I am so going to regret this later, he thought to himself as he stepped out onto the grass that was located next to the parade grounds.

All of a sudden, he heard the distinct sound of women's giggling close by. Being the man that he was, he followed it, trying to find the source. And there behind some bushes, was quite the sight.

Jean Havoc was playing tag with Hughes' little daughter Elysia. As they played, Riza's dog Black Hayate pranced around them, barking every so often. And during this somewhat adorable little scene there were two ladies, clad in brightly colored sun dresses with their hair down and catching the light of the sun, giggling and awing at them as they played.

It was pretty obvious that Havoc was playing along with it to try to catch their eyes, always trying to be the lady's man. And with as cute a girl as Elysia playing with him as well as a puppy, it really was a foolproof plan to get all of their attention. Almost.

There was one thing that he hadn't accounted for. And that was that the Roy Mustang, most irresistible man in all of Central, had happened upon them.

He walked over to where they all were at and lightly coughed, making his presence known to them.

"There you are Havoc. I was wondering where you had gone off too," was the only thing that the colonel could make up on the spot.

After the brief surprise of the new presence, Jean quickly responded. "Uh, yeah, sorry boss. But Elysia was starting to get pretty bored in the office so I thought I'd take her out to play a bit."

This cleverly brought the two ladies to croon even more at the very nicely chosen words.

Well, darn. It looked like Roy was being outmatched by his subordinate's smart phrasing and a certain little angel who was currently laughing as she played with Black Hayate.

Havoc was apparently not going to just stop there however. He went to Elysia's side and said to the women "You see, her father is out on a mission and I immediately put his little girl's care into my own hands in order to make sure that she was well taken care of while he was gone."

Almost instantaneously this was met with words ranging to how good of a friend he was to how he would make such a great father.

Sneakily, while the two ladies were just about squealing to each other, Havoc gave his superior a sly smirk. After all, this was probably the only time that he had ever gotten the attention of a girl, certainly not two, and his boss hadn't stolen them away from him.

Roy had to think of something and quick. Or else this would probably never leave him, especially if Jean would brag about it or bring it up just about everyday. And there was a very high possibility that he would.

Suddenly, glancing at his watch and seeing the time, he got a brilliant idea. "Hey ladies, what do you say to me and Havoc having a cuteness competition?"

This certainly appeared to get their full and undivided attention. "Whatever do you mean by that?" It was quite obvious that they were confused by what the intentions of this competition were for, however it was apparent that they were nonetheless intrigued by the thought of it.

Havoc had a very bad feeling about this. And he sensed that it would end badly, in regards to himself and the fact that he hadn't gotten the chance to get any phone numbers yet.

"Well you see, I couldn't help but notice how adorable my subordinate and that precious little girl look over here. And I was just wondering, if I would be able to out-do them."

The women looked to each other, both having the same mixture of curisousity and delight on their faces. No one could possibly ignore the thought of a competition of cuteness.

"Well, I do believe that it sounds like a very interesting idea." One of them spoke up.

"Yes yes, I think it would be a splendid idea!" The other one said, quickly backing up her friend's words.

"Havoc, why don't you and Elysia go first?" Roy had to buy some time, and hope that the most crucial part of his plan showed up for his plan to succeed.

Hesitantly, Havoc said "Uh, alright." As he walked over to where Elysia was playing, he thought; Well, two can play at this game. Now with the intention to out-do Mustang and whatever he had hidden up in his military-issued sleeve, he took the girl's hand and walked back to where the others were waiting.

Then, he stooped down and began tickling her. The giggles of both of them mixed together along with those of the adoring women. Then, Havoc began saying things like "the tickle monster has you!" and "I got you now!"

Roy couldn't help but flinch a bit at how cute it was. It meant that he would just have to try even harder. Glancing around and getting a little worried, he suddenly saw what he was waiting for. With his ever-present smirk on his face, he excused himself from the others saying that he needed to get ready by getting something, but it ended up just falling onto deaf ears.

He didn't let this distract him; instead he strutted over with purpose in his step as he headed over to what he always thought of as being his hidden trick-card.

Edward. Was. EXHAUSTED.

Sure, there was some soreness and pain mixed in with it, but overall it was the sleepiness that was really getting to him right now.

He and Al had just returned from their latest mission, which had also involved a lead regarding the philosopher's stone. However, as had always been the case, it was a fake, another dead end, and more wasted time.

All that he really wanted to do was just to go back to the dorms and collapse onto his bed and sleep the week away. However, his responsible little brother kept on reminding him that he would need to turn in his report and that it was probably better to just get it over with so that he wouldn't have to worry about it later.

Ed couldn't help but agree with that logic. Besides, this would give him the chance to rant in the colonel's face and get out all of the pent-up anger he had about the mission.

Though, he didn't think that he really had the energy to rant as he usually did when returning to the office and seeing the colonel again. He was just. So. TIRED!

Finally they reached the large, opened steel gates leading to headquarters. They both started to head towards the door, but Ed turned to his brother.

"Hey Al, how about you bring the luggage back to the dorms while I turn the blasted report in. It isn't really necessary for us to both go in."

Immediately Alphonse tried to disagree. He never liked being away from his brother, even if it was just about a block. And in Ed's current condition, even if he was trying his best to hide how tired he was, he knew that Edward might collapse at any moment from exhaustion.

"But-

Ed knew it was coming. Hurriedly, he cut in. "Really, it's fine. I'll be in and out. I'll even try to not yell at the colonel as much as usual." This was personally because he knew he wouldn't be able to.

Al sighed. He knew when his brother set his mind on something, there was basically no way that he could make him change his mind, being how stubborn he was. This time he could probably make him if he pushed hard enough, but he really didn't think that this was too bad of a situation.

After all, Ed would probably just be in and out and he wouldn't be needed in any way. "Well, alright. Only if you be as quick as you can. And don't just fall asleep while you're standing."

"What! Of course I'm not going to just fall asleep standing!"

"Of course your not…"

Edward huffed in annoyance. He guessed he didn't do as good of a job as he thought trying to hide how sleepy he was.

He handed his suitcase to Al's waiting gauntlet, who then proceeded to head in the direction of the dorms. But not before giving his older brother one more worried glance.

Roy saw a flash of gold and hurriedly strode over to it. It was of course his youngest subordinate, the Fullmetal Alchemist. As he had predicted, he would be here in a couple of minutes if he followed the designated time he was supposed to be. Thank goodness he did, today of all days.

He caught a glimpse of him and his towering, armored younger brother exchanging a few words, where at one point the older brother began to yell. Which really wasn't that surprising, seeing as how every conversation the kid had somehow got yelling involved in it. The little exchange ended with Al taking his brother's suitcase from him and heading towards the direction of the military's dorms.

Seeing his chance and having every intention of taking it, he went right behind the boy and grabbed him by his forearm.

This was instantly met with hostility and resistance, the blond struggling and trying to twist out of the grip. When he looked at who had dared to touch him he became confused, then furious.

"Mustang! What in the world do you think you doing!?"

Instead of replying, Roy simply tightened his grip and began to basically drag the fuming alchemist over behind a nearby tree.

The Flame Alchemist was a little surprised as to how resigned Edward was. Yeah, he was still struggling and yelling, but not nearly as much as what Roy had predicted he would.

Ed really didn't the energy to put up a fight right now. The only things he could basically do was try to twist out of the jerk's grip and shout at him, and even that was sapping away the small level of energy that he was holding on to.

"Fullmetal, if you cut it out with the shouting and wiggling, I'll let you go." This was used in the Colonel's 'there will be absolutely no disagreeing or anyway out of this so you might as well give up' tone of voice.

Edward was of course about to shout at him, but with both his tiredness now returning with the adrenaline of getting grabbed going away and how serious the colonel looked, he decided to just stand stiffly and glare daggers at the man still holding him captive.

"Thank you," Roy told him curtly, once again surprised but nonetheless glad for this newfound submissiveness in his subordinate. True to his word, he released Edward's arm.

"Now then, there is a very important situation. And, I am in need of your assistance."

This got the boy's attention. The colonel never asked for help with anything. If he was doing it now, then he must really need it. However, that also kind of made Ed anxious a bit, because in his current… 'state'… he didn't know if he would really be able to help out.

But he had an image to keep up, so he replied with "What, are you too weak to handle it yourself, old man?"

Roy ground his teeth together at the title, and tried his best to refrain himself from using any of the genius short jokes he had. He really needed the boy's help on this one, so it wouldn't do him any good to make him mad with his already short-temper… he chuckled to himself.

"Actually, this requires some special help. And in this case, I think that you can provide it perfectly."

Special help? Wow, now Ed was really interested and maybe just a tad bit more willing to help the man. "And what exactly is this 'important situation'?"

Now this would be the hard part for Mustang. "Uh-h, well, you see…" What would be the best way to say it?

Instead of his previous stuttering, which had made Fullmetal arch an eyebrow at, he looked the blonde straight in the eye and quickly said "I put Havoc up to a cuteness competition and now I need you to be able win."

He tried his best to stand his ground, but he was very unsure of how the boy would react. Right now, he was just standing in place, as still as a statue, shock written across his face. Then, he broke.

"WHAT!?"

A large sweat drop appeared on Roy's head, and he put his hand's up in front of himself for some protection from the near existent flames emanating from the kid facing him.

"WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WOULD EVER BE A PART OF SOMETHING LIKE THAT!? YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR MIND!"

Ed's screaming was now beginning to reach a whole new level, so Roy quickly covered his mouth with a thankfully already gloved hand to stop it in its tracks before he could get anything else out.

He then quickly thought up an idea that could possibly make the boy accept, and quickly said it while he would still be able to be heard while the boy's mouth was currently closed off. "Look, if you do this for me than I'll cover all of the damages that you had unquestionably made during the mission that you had just returned from."

This was met with a muffled "Hmmp?"

That was quite a prospect. Saying as how he had pretty much decimated an entire village while on this one… He may not be as much of a penny-pincher as the man in front him who currently had his hand over his mouth was, but he certainly knew that such a payment to rebuild everything would diminish the inside of his vault by a really hefty amount.

With a groan of aggravation, he grabbed the appendage covering his mouth and said reluctantly "Fine! Just get your disgusting hand off of my mouth!"

Roy sighed in relief; if Fullmetal hadn't agreed then he wouldn't know what to do. But, with how good the idea seemed to the young alchemist of Roy covering all of the damage costs, he quickly got a bit fearful of what the sum of owed money would be.

But, he would worry about that later. Right now, he had a competition to win. "Come on."

He led the way back to the area where the ladies were still awing. Havoc was now ending his little performance by hugging Elysia tightly, making her squeal and smile in delight, hugging him right back.

With the ladies distracted playing with Elysia and telling her how beautiful and cute she was after she was placed back onto the ground, Jean looked around for the boss. He got very puzzled when he saw the raven-haired man walking up to them with a very obviously reluctant Fullmetal Alchemist dragging his feet, following behind him.

"What's he up to now?"

But before the two alchemists reached them, the colonel swerved to the side behind some bushes, the younger cautiously following suit behind him after some confusion.

"Alright Fullmetal, here's what I need you to do. I'm going to pick you up and you're going to make the cutest face that you can muster when I give the signal."

"WHAT! NO WAY AM I-

But before he could continue to refuse, Roy burst forth and swerved behind the unsuspecting boy. He intertwined his arms right beneath the kid's arms at his armpits, and picked his small frame off of the ground.

Both of his feet were dangling a couple of inches from where the grass was, so he had no choice but to bend his knees to pick them up a bit so that they wouldn't just sway around.

"MUSTA-

Roy cut him off and whispered in his ear "We made a deal," then walked over to the others from the bushes, his little puppy of the military in his arms, who was now blushing furiously.

As they reached the others, the ladies already crooning a bit and Havoc trying not to bust out laughing his head off, Roy said "Well, guess it's my turn now. Hope this is cute enough for you."

Seeing as how Roy never told him what the signal was, Ed really didn't know what to do. After the man finished his statement, he took that to be the supposed signal. Aware that there was no going back now, he tried his best to uphold his part of the deal.

Well, here goes nothing. And with that, he put on the 'cutest' face that he could think of.

Two thuds were heard as the pair of women passed out.