Lieu leaned against the wall looking out at the dreary weather beyond the glass. The sky was a discontented grey and seemed to pull all of the color from everything around it. He took a deep breath and moved to light the cigarette that he'd been rolling between his fingers for the last ten minutes. The burning sensation brought back sensitivity to his throat that he'd lost over the last few weeks. Feeling the smoke fill his lungs and the taste of the rich tobacco as he exhaled, proved to him that he was in fact alive. The stream of smoke left his mouth hitting the window and immediately caused it to fog over. His blue eyes settled on a pair of eyes, reflecting in the glass, enhanced by the smoke. He didn't move or attempt to turn around.
The piercing eyes were a set that he'd known for a very long time as the taller man stood behind him. "What are you doing here, Noatak?" His voice was coarse and he'd blame it on the smoke. Though the emotions that were almost choking him had nothing to do with the poison he was inhaling.
"I couldn't leave things the way they were, Lieu." His voice was still so refined, so authoritative. Lieu's chest ached as he shook his head.
"You lied to me, Amon. Me. Of all people." He turned and faced him then blowing a puff of smoke in the other man's face. Naturally, Amon didn't flinch in regards to the smoke.
"I had to."
"No," Lieu shook his head and took another drag. "No you didn't. After everything I did for you, everything I sacrificed, giving my life over to you and you still felt the need to lie to me."
For once in the twenty years he'd known the man, there was a shadow- no…not a shadow- more like a blaring siren of doubt within those hard eyes. He shifted in place and lowered his eyes. The thoughts and gears clearly turning in his mind. Amon looked back up at him and frowned. "You are right, but I was afraid if I had exposed myself to you after so long- you would have left."
"Bullhog shit." Lieu snapped, barking at his former partner. "You know damn well that It would have hurt, but I am …was so deeply invested in our cause. With YOU that I wouldn't have gotten over it." He took another drag from his cigarette- his hands starting to shake and tremble as he fought back the tears that were burning his eyes.
Amon stepped closer only to have his former lover hold up a hand to stop him. The Equalist leader's eyes were dim and misted with sadness. "Lieu, you made me feel alive. Something I hadn't felt in years. You brought me out of the chasm of hating to feel my own heart beat- and all those around me. You made me distinguish myself when I looked in the mirror. I no longer saw a spitting image of my father but for once I saw me-"
"And yet that was something you never allowed me to see." Lieu growled the smoke of a half taken drag slipping between his teeth as he spoke.
Amon narrowed his eyes and he nodded again. "A mistake that I sincerely regret, Lieu."
Lieu froze, a tear trailing down his face. He looked over Amon with frantic eyes. The man's face was drawn and seemed sunken- burns that covered his neck and the majority of his back and head were covered by his uniform. It was pressed and perfect. Completely concealing the marks that marred his perfect physique.
"A mistake?" His lover, his Amon, never admitted he was wrong or had made an error. Never. He'd sooner let his guilt hang in silence between them than voice is err.
Amon nodded. "Yes, Lieu and for that I'm deeply sorry." He gave a small cocky smile- a ghost of the former arrogance that had left him. "Perhaps we can start over. Just the two of us?"
Lieu didn't answer he snuffed his cigarette out in the ash tray on his desk. He looked up at him and frowned. "What are you asking me?"
Amon's smile changed from that cold calculated arrogance, even if it had lost it's potency, to one that was uncertain and almost fearful. "Come with me. I have some tea brewing. Sit with me like old times, share a pot with me." Lieu shook his head.
"No. Not yet. Not after everything you did to me. I'm not ready to forgive you." He said brushing that traitorous tear away from his face.
"I understand." Amon said softly. He moved and opened the drawer of the desk. Sifting through it a moment he pulled out a small framed picture that had been hidden away so prying eyes would never see it. He looked at it a moment then back to the lieutenant. "We were happy once. Weren't we?"
Lieu nodded stiffly as he watched Amon sit the picture down on the desk. He gave him another smile. one that he'd reserved just for him as he walked to the door. "I will have a pot of tea waiting if you change your mind. I'll be there when you are ready to forgive me."
The lieutenant felt his throat knot as he tried to force the tears back down. He could only nod, not trusting himself to speak as Amon walked through the door- disappearing into thin air just beyond the door frame, leaving behind the scent of his cologne and a wispy cloud of mist.
Lieu collapsed back in his chair holding his throbbing head- his eyes fogged and dizzy. his eyes tore up to the picture looking over them. It was one taken fifteen years before. Before the Equalists, but not before the lies. He moved and reached inside his desk drawer pulling out a small flask- one that's mate was lost somewhere in the wreckage of the destroyed equalist base. Mercury Bichloride… he set the flask down on the desk next to the picture before looking back to the door.
His hand went to his mouth as he saw him standing there again. "I will wait for you. No matter how long it takes." He said softly, a final reminder before he faded away one last time.