Huffin' Jet for Science
Howdy, the name's Jean Xenon. Ever since I started smoking cigarettes out here in the Mojave, I've somewhat lost that buzz I often feel on my first drag, so I went on a quest to go find some sort of substitute for my narcotic shenanigans. I travelled miles and kilometers to find something just as good or even better, and lemme tell ya, I did. The dealer I met in this small settlement was a shady fellow who smelled like a sack of fingers and looked like he swam through an irradiated cesspool, but he had such a luxurious set of recreational drugs I could buy off of him that I just didn't mind those things at all. He offered me Jet, which is some sort of highly addictive drug that you administer via an inhaler. It is apparently extracted from brahmin dung fumes, which, to be honest, I wasn't quite too sure about, but that shit (pun not intended) cost me about 25 or so caps, so it was worth a try methinks.
When I returned to my domain back in Novac, I sat down on my squeaky chair, placed my tired feet on the table, and began to inhale this Jet substance, poisoning my entire system probably. Truth be told, I felt absolutely nothing on my first huff; the fumes tasted like shit, obviously, and I coughed a lot, but I didn't get a single buzz or anything, so I started toking more on my inhaler. I huffed and huffed and then it finally happened. The whole room started fucking flickering into different colours as if though I was in some sort of pre-war dance club, the ground seemed like it was shaking, and my hands looked like processed cheese. Man, I hit the jackpot.
As I huffed a few more times, I ran outta fumes to administer into my body. I could barely walk at that point, but I had this strange urge to just go outside and do something extremely bizarre. Before you knew it, I was seen out on the field without any of my clothes on and tipping other folks' Brahmin livestock while I kept yelling "BENEVOLENT VENTRILOQUIST, WOOOHOO!" like some sort of hopped-on-drugs junkie, which what I ironically was at the time. Afterwards, many people reported that I was also spotted chopping down people's fences with a lawnmower blade. Truth be told, I only remember fencing with some dude who was insulting my attire, but I didn't know it was a garden prop, so my bad, No-Bark.
And last, but not least, I stuck my, ahem, "package" into a hole into the ground and just stood there for a long amount of time with a shit-eating grin on my face. When my high started to fade away, I began to behave properly once more and I had a little amnesia, but then I slowly started to remember things… somewhat.
So, in conclusion, Jet is a very, very hazardous drug that is definitely addictive since I want to huff another one as we speak, it's rather disgusting when it comes to its taste, and it's definitely not a narcotic that is suitable for light-weighted individuals or first timers, but, if you're looking to feeling a bit more concentrated and loaded with the will to do whatever and whenever, then this is the drug for you.
I rate this substance 3.5/5 for its ridiculous experience, but it gave me a very bad reputation in Novac and I still can't get rid of this taste out of my taste buds, but it's still a very likeable narcotic. Xenon out.