A/N: I know that I'm such an inconsistent writer and I'm very sporadic with my updates and I'd like to apologize for that.
Writer's block has seriously been kicking my ass though and since I don't like losing, I decided to fight back.
I started this a few months ago and I thought the story had potential so I didn't give up on it.
Honestly, this is one my favorite stories and I think it's definitely some of my best work as of late.
For all of my loyal readers and reviewers who have stuck with me, thank you very much!
I hope that all of you will enjoy this little one-shot that I have written for all of you!
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything associated with Stephenie Meyer's characters. I also don't own the lyrics to "What Can I Say" by Carrie Underwood and Sons of Sylvia.
You Don't Have To Go Home
James' POV
I loosen my tie a little bit and then I look at myself in the mirror. I smooth out a few unruly strands of hair and then I exit the bathroom. I enter my bedroom and I dab a little bit of my favorite cologne on. My boyfriend Riley is in our bed flipping through a magazine and I clear my throat so that I can get his attention. He looks up at me and laughs when I strike a pose like I'm walking down a runway.
"How do I look?" I ask.
"Sexy as always," He answers with a smirk.
I look at my watch. "Are you sure that you don't want to go to Alice's wedding? There's still time for you to get dressed."
"I'm positive. I don't know Alice and I really don't want to see Emmett," Riley replies.
"I really hope that you're not still intimidated by Emmett because I'm completely over him," I reassure.
"I just feel really uncomfortable when I'm around him," He explains.
I kiss him passionately. "I love you and I will see you later, baby."
"I love you too," Riley tells me.
I turn my cell phone on silent so I won't forget to do it before the ceremony, I grab my faux fur coat and I leave my house. It's cold as hell and I really wish that Ali would have decided to have a summer wedding. I have to park across the street from the church because the parking lot is completely full. I see two red ropes and Ali's uncle Felix guarding the door with a clipboard in his hands as I approach the entrance.
I laugh inwardly and shake my head, only Alice McCarty (soon to be Hale) would have security at her wedding. Felix smiles when he sees me and he lets me straight in. It's nice to know that Emmett's family still loves me even though our relationship didn't work out. I walk inside the huge cathedral and I'm greeted by an usher. She hands me a program and asks for my name because Alice has a seating chart.
I suddenly feel like I'm at a really important dinner and not a wedding. Emmett is in the wedding so I'm grateful that I don't have to worry about sitting next to him. I'm in the middle of 2 people that I don't know so I assume that they're Jasper's family. The ceremony begins soon and I look away when I see Emmett and a very pretty blonde woman marching down the aisle. I actually have to fight back tears when I see Alice.
She has on a very beautiful, very mermaid-like, elaborate, and dramatic snow white dress and she looks absolutely breathtaking. She's smiling brighter than I've ever seen her as she holds on to her father's arm. I can barely understand her as she recites her vows because she's crying tears of joy. Jasper grabs her hand and looks into her eyes as he declares his everlasting love for her.
He moves the veil out of her face as he bends down to ardently kiss his blushing bride. Everyone starts filing out of the church and we head over to Emmett's house for the reception. I decide that I need a cigarette before I spend a few hours at my ex's house. I hear music blaring and I know that it's coming from the ginormous sized basement. Alice now has a short, sparkly gold dress on and she waves me over.
She pecks me on the cheek. "I'm so glad that you made it."
"I wouldn't miss your big day for the world, you know that you're like my sister," I tell her.
"How is your boyfriend doing?" Alice asks.
"Good, things are going really great," I respond.
"I would love to meet him one day," She hints.
"He feels the same way, but I'm sure you can understand why he didn't want to come," I explain.
"Of course. You look really good," Alice compliments.
"So do you. You're not Baby Ali anymore," I say.
We continue to talk for a few more minutes until Jasper asks her to dance. I can't help but smile at the way Alice is literally glowing in her husband's presence. I'm a little hungry so I walk over to the tables that are filled with food. Everything looks so delicious that I don't know where to start. I grab a plate and I begin helping myself to the chicken spaghetti. My whole body stiffens when I feel a pair of strong arms wrap around my waist.
"Dance with me," He whispers into my ear.
"No!" I protest adamantly.
"Please," Em begs.
"I said no," I repeat.
"Come on, just one innocent little dance," He continues to plead.
"I don't trust you," I admit.
Emmett sighs. "I know, but I'm asking you to. I promise that I won't try anything inappropriate."
I finish piling food on to my plate and Emmett just follows me as I sit down at a table. I ignore him as best I can while I eat. I can't really remember the last time that I saw Emmett, but I feel uneasy being in such close proximity to him. I finish eating quickly hoping that he will leave me alone, but really, I should know better. He's smiling that 'you can't say no to me even if you really want to' smile and I give in.
"One dance and I will kick you in the balls if you can't control your hands," I threaten.
"I'll behave," He promises.
I curse the DJ when a slow song comes on. Emmett is standing so far away from me that it looks pretty ridiculous. I step closer and our bodies are only slightly touching. I look up at Emmett and he's staring down at me. I frown when I focus on the lyrics of the song that's playing. "How did it come to this? I think about you all the time. It's no excuse, but I wish that I never made you cry."
"Did you request this song?" I ask him.
"What? No, why would I do that?" Emmett wonders.
"I can think of a few reasons," I reply.
"It's just a coincidence," He says.
"Right," I mutter.
He reluctantly lets me go when the song is over. He looks like he wants to say something because of the way he's biting his lip, but nothing comes out of his mouth. I don't want to think about why I'm so hot all of a sudden, but I just need to drink some water. I head over to the coolers and I ask Alice if she'll hand me a bottle of water since her hand is already in the cooler. She turns around and she has a knowing smile on her face.
"You and my brother looked really cute together," She comments.
"Alice…" I warn.
"I just made a completely unbiased observation," Alice defends.
"You're just like Emmett, you're both full of shit," I tell her.
She laughs before getting serious. "He really is sorry for hurting you."
"I can't have this conversation," I caution.
"It's really not my place, anyway. I'm sorry," Alice apologizes.
"It's ok," I say.
I avoid Emmett by catching up with some of his family members and getting acquainted with Jasper's. I glance at my watch as I see people start heading out. It's a little after 8:00 p.m., but it doesn't feel that late. I think that I'm going to leave soon too, but I want to help with the clean up so Jasper and Alice can leave and prepare for their honeymoon tomorrow. It will probably take an hour just picking up the beer cans alone.
"It's like alcoholism runs in my family, I'm sure they're responsible for half of these cans," Jasper jokes.
"I enjoyed meeting your family though. Your twin Rosalie is a handful," I remark.
He laughs. "She's downright special."
I can tell that Alice is getting restless so I tell her that she should go home and let Emmett and I finish up. She shoots me a questioning look, but I don't acknowledge her. She walks over to her brother and gives him a big hug and kiss on the cheek. Jasper shakes his hand and they pat each other on the back. When they leave a deafening silence fills the basement. It's so quiet that I jump when I hear Emmett's voice.
"Thanks for helping out," He expresses gratitude.
I shrug. "It's not a big deal."
The silence continues as we tidy up his basement. My hands are dirty and gross from touching all kinds of substances and I just need to wash my hands. There's no soap in the bathroom down here so I have to walk upstairs. I decide to wash my hands in the kitchen and I curse loudly when I look out of the window and see that it's snowing. I need to get home, but I have a phobia of driving in the snow.
"What's wrong?" Emmett asks frantically.
"It's snowing," I reply and I know that he understands.
"I forgot that they said a bad storm was coming tonight. It's supposed to get pretty bad," He states.
"I don't care, I have to get home," I insist.
"I'm not letting you drive," He firmly commands.
"Then drop me off," I suggest.
"We're supposed to get between 9-11 inches of snow, I'm not driving in those conditions either," Emmett objects.
"We have to figure something out because I'm certainly not staying here," I inform him.
"Why not?" He asks.
"Are you really that dense, Em? I don't fucking trust you," I yell.
"You need to just take a deep breath and relax—"
I cut him off with a bitter laugh. "You want me to relax? There's a major snowstorm outside and I can't go home. I'm stuck with my ex who doesn't know how to keep his dick in his pants!"
A brief look of hurt crosses his face and he turns around and walks into his spacious living room. I shouldn't feel bad for alluding to his infidelity, but I do because I'm taking my frustration out on him. I follow him and sit down next to him on his sofa. I run an aggravated hand through my hair and I think about what I should say to him. I gently place my hand on his thigh and he smiles weakly at me.
"Sorry for snapping at you like that," I apologize.
"It's ok," Emmett says.
"I'm just irritated right now," I add.
"I know," He emphasizes.
My phone vibrates and I see that it's a text from Riley. I smile because he wants to make sure that I'm ok. I tell him that I won't make it home until sometime tomorrow because the roads are treacherous. I don't tell him that I'm trapped with Emmett because I don't want Riley to worry more than he already is or completely freak out. He tells me that he loves me and I return the sentiment.
"Texting your boyfriend?" Emmett wonders.
"Yes," I answer.
"This is really awkward," He comments.
I roll my eyes. "No shit."
"I thought I was ready," Em vaguely states.
"Ready for what?" I want to know.
"Seeing you happy," He elaborates.
"Em—"
Emmett interrupts me. "I need to say this, so please just listen. I actually cried when you left, I cried like I hadn't cried since my brother died. I missed you so much and I fell into a deep depression. I wouldn't eat, wouldn't sleep, I felt sick to my stomach all of the time. Alice was really worried about me. I realized how stupid I was for cheating on you and I hated myself for losing you. It hurts so fucking much knowing that there's some other guy making you smile right now."
I open my mouth to say something, but I close it when the power goes out. I'm actually slightly grateful that it's pitch black because I now have an excuse not to look at Emmett. He tells me that he's going to get some candles and that he'll be back. I immediately feel empty when he leaves, but I don't dwell on it. It's probably only been 5 minutes, but it feels like it's an hour later when he finally comes back.
"I have some good news and some bad news," He announces.
"Good news first," I encourage.
"I found a flashlight and I found a few candles," Em proclaims.
"But…" I trail off.
"The batteries are dead and I don't know where my lighter is," He explains.
"You normally keep your lighter with your pot," I reminisce.
"Right! Now I just have to remember where my weed is," Emmett says.
I laugh. "Clearly you've been smoking too much because it's fucking with your memory."
"Do you remember that really big book that my grandfather gave me a few years ago?" He asks.
"Of course, I said it looked like the bible," I recall.
"Can you help me find it? That's the last place I remember keeping my stash," Emmett tells me.
I grab my cell phone and I attempt to use it as a flashlight. It's not very bright and it doesn't stay on for that long, but beggars can't be choosers, right? There are a few books under one of the coffee tables, but none of them are heavy enough to be the one that I'm looking for. I hear a door open so I assume that Emmett is looking in the closet. I hear a loud thud and I find myself walking toward the closet.
"Are you all right?" I interrogate.
"I'm fine, this shelf just fell on me," He replies.
"I don't think I want to know," I remark.
"I found it!" Emmett exclaims a few minutes later.
He can't get up from the floor and pick up the book at the same time so I take the book from his hands. We walk back over to the sofa and I open the book once we're seated. I feel for the lighter and I take it out. I light the first candle and then I use that candle to the light the other 5. Emmett's face is illuminated by the small flames and I almost forgot how devastatingly beautiful that he is.
I rest my hand on his cheek. "Why must you be so fucking gorgeous?"
"I think it's because my parents were hot back in the '80s," He jokes.
"I hadn't thought about you as anything more than a painful chapter in my past before I saw you today," I admit.
He scoots a little closer to me. "And now?"
"Now, I—I," I stutter before completely abandoning the sentence.
"Do you still love me?" Em blurts out.
"I'm tired and I think that I should go to sleep," I deliberately change the subject and avert my gaze.
He tenderly grabs my face so that I'm looking directly at him. "I will leave you alone forever if you don't want me. I just need to know if I still have a shot here."
"I'm taken," I softly remind him.
"He has your body, but does he have your whole heart? Is there still part of you, even a small part that still belongs to me?" Emmett desperately wants to know.
I try to stop the tears from escaping my eyes. "Part of me will always belong to you, Em."
"I feel a 'but' coming on…" He trails off and looks at me expectantly.
"I love Riley and I can't hurt him by being with you," I tell him.
"You're always thinking about other people, do what you want to do for once," Em encourages.
"I was so hurt and betrayed when you cheated on me; I can't do the same thing to Riley. That would make me such a hypocrite," I explain.
"You're still in love with me and I'm pretty sure that he doesn't know that, so aren't you hurting him regardless?" Emmett argues.
"You can be with anyone you want and you've never really wanted to be tied down, so what do you want with me?" I ask him.
He looks into my eyes longingly. "I want all of you, every single thing that you have to give. I'm not scared to say that I love you anymore; it's a truth that I've come to accept. I miss the hell out of you. I miss your laugh, your smile, waking up next to you. I miss holding you, kissing you, just being with you, James. I know that you're in a relationship right now, but I really just don't care. I'm a selfish bastard and I want you all to myself. Please, James, give me another chance. I promise that I won't fuck it up this time."
The tears are flowing freely now and I don't push Emmett away when he kisses my damp cheeks. He tilts my head so that our lips are brushing and suddenly I forget why I've been denying him this long. I wrap my arms around his neck and lose myself in the kiss. Our mouths move in familiar patterns and it slightly amazes me that our bodies are still so in sync. I raise my arms so that he can take my shirt off.
"You're beautiful," Em compliments.
I blush because Emmett has never called me beautiful; he's only referred to me as sexy or hot. I stand up so that he can take my pants off and I unbutton his shirt as he unzips my jeans. Soon, we're both standing naked, staring into each other's eyes. He sits a condom on the table as he lays me down on the couch. He peppers my neck in kisses and I close my eyes in ecstasy. He can see what he's doing because of the candles, but I'm sure that he could find all of my favorite spots in the dark. I jump slightly when he tenderly bites one of my nipples.
"Still so responsive," Emmett notes.
He licks a trail down my stomach and I shiver like I always do when his mouth is on me. There's a bead of pre-cum sliding down the head and he catches it with his tongue. He continues to tease the sensitive area and I bite my lip out of pleasure and anticipation. Emmett finally takes my whole cock in his mouth and starts a steady rhythm. I place my hand on his head so that I can guide him just a little.
"Perfect," I moan.
He looks up at me and smiles at my words of praise. His mouth feels incredible like always and I don't attempt to hold back the flood of tears that are threatening to spill over. I love Riley, I really honest to God love him, but I'm betraying him anyway right now. Riley's so wonderful, he loves me unconditionally and he made me whole again after Emmett nearly broke me and this is how I repay him. Emmett stops his movements once he notices that I'm crying.
"Are you ok?" He asks.
"I'm fine," I lie.
Emmett knows me well enough to know that I'm lying, but thankfully he doesn't pry. He resumes licking every ridge and vein on my shaft and I'm in utter bliss. He parts my lips with 2 of his fingers and I suck on them obscenely. He removes one of his fingers and places it at my entrance. I try to relax because I haven't bottomed since Emmett and I were last together. He pushes it in slowly and deeply. He adds the second finger shortly after and I love the slight burn of the stretch. I can tell by the hungry look in his eyes that he's ready to be inside me, so I grant him permission.
"Just be gentle," I request.
"Of course," Em replies.
He grabs the condom from the table and he doesn't waste any time tearing it open and putting it on. I take a deep breath and spread my legs as wide as I can to prepare for his thick dick. He bends down to give me a sweet kiss before he takes his time filling me completely. Emmett gives me a minute to adjust to his size and I nod when I'm ready for him to move. He moves slightly and I try to hide my grimace of discomfort.
"I'm sorry," Emmett apologizes.
"It's ok, keep going," I insist.
Emmett seems a bit hesitant, so I rotate my hips to show him that I can take it. He lets out a surprised whimper and the satisfied smirk on my face gets wiped off as soon as he pulls out and plunges back in. I press my nails sharply into his shoulders as a mix of pleasure/pain/lust consumes me. My still hard cock is trapped between our bodies so I wrap my hand around it and give it a few strokes. I open my eyes when I feel Emmett's hand on top of mine.
"Let me," He volunteers.
I remove my hand and let him take over. His calloused hand is rubbing my dick in all of the right places and I moan when he angles his thrusts slightly so that he's lightly pounding against my prostate. He's completely buried inside of me, but we're still not close enough. I run my hands through his hair and bring his head downward so I can capture his mouth in a passionate kiss.
"I love you," I blurt out, although it's true.
"I love you too," Em whispers in my ear.
He twists his palm with the perfect amount of pressure and I cum without warning. My body quivers and Emmett laces kisses on my face and neck once I've calmed down. I'm completely spent, but I want to watch Emmett as he loses control. There are droplets of sweat all over his forehead and neck and he looks undeniably striking. He quickens his movements and I love watching the looks absolute of bliss and pleasure cover his face. Nothing matters more than he does right now.
"I'm so close," Emmett announces.
"Don't close your eyes, I watch to watch," I tell him.
His fierce sapphire eyes are glued to mine and it's beyond intense; it's like looking directly into the sun, too bright and inconceivably beautiful. I focus on the low, deep groans coming from his mouth, the rise and fall of his chest, the feeling of being completely full. When my gaze returns to his, he has a look of deep contentment and satisfaction on his face. He whispers my name right before his orgasm hits. His body collapses right on top of mine and our rugged pants are the only sounds in the room.
"I'll be right back," He says once we've caught out breath.
He grabs a candle since the power is still out and heads down the hall. When he comes back, he has a wet wash cloth and a blanket in his hands. Emmett wipes me down before cleaning himself off. He positions himself behind me and wraps his arms securely around my waist after he covers both of us with the blanket. He pecks me on the cheek before saying goodnight.
"Goodnight," I repeat, although I don't plan on getting a lot of sleep.
I wake up to the smell of bacon and I hear sizzling. I pass by Emmett cooking in the kitchen as I go to the bathroom. I take my quick morning piss and avoid the mirror. I look at the time and it's 10:30 so I'm sure that Riley has called at least once. I check my phone and I see that I have 2 missed calls from Riley, the most recent one about 10 minutes ago. I start to call him back, but I decide against it because I'm not sure what to say.
"Why didn't you wake me up when my phone rang?" I ask.
"Because you were sleeping like a baby," Em answers.
"I'm serious," I state.
"I wasn't sure that you would want to talk to him just yet," Emmett admits.
"That wasn't your decision to make though," I snap.
"I know, but—"
I cut him off. "There are no buts. You don't get to try to control my relationship just because we fucked last night."
"So that's all it was to you," He says in an accusatory tone.
"It was a mistake, I was vulnerable and I let emotion cloud my judgment," I tell him.
"That's bullshit," Em retorts.
"You can think what you'd like—"
I don't finish my sentence because he catches me by surprise and kisses me. I try to shove him away and convince myself that I don't want him, but my denial only lasts for a few seconds. Just like last night, our mouths act like they were made for each other. I finally find the strength to break away and end the kiss when I get lightheaded. I can't fully escape him though because he's holding me with an ironclad grip.
"Why would you want to go home to him after that?" Emmett wonders.
"Because he's a great kisser too," I argue.
"You don't have to go home and I know you don't want to," He points out.
He's right, I don't want to go home, but it's not for the reason he thinks. I don't know what to do about Riley. If I tell him about what I did, he may possibly never forgive me. I don't think that I can act like it never happened though and move on with him. I love Riley enough to at least try to be happy with him. Part of me wants to pursue my future with him, but then there's another part of me that wants to stay in Emmett's arms, because it's more than likely the place where I'll always end up.
A/N: I know that all of you are going to want to throw virtual rocks and tomatoes at me because this is how I'm ending it.
I could add at least one more chapter, but when I planned this story out, it had an open ending so I won't.
It's new for me, writing a story that doesn't have a definite happily ever after ending and I hope that you all like it!
This story fought with me a lot and it's not perfect, but I think I came out victorious.
I'm really, really looking forward to hearing your thoughts on the story as a whole, but especially the ending.
Instead of writing what James decides, I think that it's more fitting for everyone to come up with their own conclusion.
I want to apologize for the "morning breath" make out toward the end, LOL.
I normally find ways to avoid having my characters kiss first thing in the morning, but I couldn't successfully do it here.