The Week after Nightfall - PART 1

It was a week after Nightfall and Jack couldn't remember ever being this tired. It had been impossible to find sleep since it happened. He was so wracked with guilt he could barely think about anything else and when he did manage to drag his thoughts away from the nightmare of Kosovo, there was still no peace to be found. Endless questions about the mission and what went wrong plagued him - and then turned to anger. His team had been set up, he knew it. What he didn't know was why - and who. The 'who' was the important part but no matter how much he turned the question over in his mind, no answer emerged.

Then - the nights. The long silent nights where he lay in bed alone and his thoughts turned to Teri. He would be back with her soon but the thought of seeing her, for the first time in his life, brought no pleasure. He was so consumed with Nightfall, how was he supposed to go back to his regular life? The work at CTU would help - but not when he was at home. He couldn't imagine having conversations about grocery lists and nights out - that was all a world away from where he was right now. And where he was right now was the important thing. But, as always, Jack sighed and resolved to do his best. It was just....well, for once, he wasn't sure if his best was going to be good enough.

And now it was a week later. A week of grief and anger, debriefs and recriminations. The top brass had endlessly questioned and berated him to the point where holding his temper was becoming difficult. No one seemed to care about answering HIS questions.....but no. That was silly. He was a Captain but this operation went much, much higher - Jack knew that trying to get information through the Army would be a waste of time. The thought that had kept him going (and his temper under wraps), was his job at CTU. He was privately sure that by working through intelligence at the office, he might eventually uncover the real story. Not that he would ever tell anyone he was looking of course.

Jack snapped out of his reverie and brought his thoughts back to the present. He was waiting for his release papers, waiting in a stuffy windowless room for the documents that would catapult him back into civilian life. He'd been waiting 20 minutes already and was starting to feel incredibly claustrophobic. No one understood how hard it was - being pulled back into active service and then thrown back into regular life. Jack mused over the fact that it had never hit him so hard before - 'But then', he thought 'Nightfall wasn't just another mission. They've rarely gone wrong before....'

'Captain Bauer? I have your release papers ready'. Jack glanced up at the pretty desk clerk. She didn't smile.

'We just need you to sign at the bottom. Then you may leave. Your car has been brought to the front'.

'I may leave?' Jack thought sarcastically. 'May I?! Gee thanks'. But he didn't say anything, just nodded wearily. He stood up and ran his fingers through his untidy blond hair, didn't bother to read the papers. He'd seen them before with their stipulations of secrecy and threats of prosecution if he suddenly decided to talk. He scribbled his name, nodded to the clerk and headed for the exit.

The bright Californian sunshine was unbearably harsh on his tired eyes and Jack grabbed for his shades. His SUV was parked in front, neatly packed with the few belongings he'd brought with him. He looked around before getting in the car and took in the regular military base format - the building, the flagpole, the jeeps and the soldiers hurriedly marching to meetings/trainings/whatever. Jack suddenly had a feeling that he might never again stand on a military base in an official capacity - Nightfall may well have been his last mission. The thought hit him like a thunderbolt and he was surprised to find that it hurt. He'd miss all this, the Army had been a big part of his life for many years - this was something he hadn't been prepared for. When he got his summons for the mission he'd accepted automatically, picked and trained his men with practiced ease, happy in his role as a natural military man. And now it might be over and he wasn't prepared for it. Not even a little bit.

'Jack. JACK!'

He spun round, surprised at the shout, and then smiled as he saw his friend Patrick running towards him. They had trained together right at the beginning and had stayed close friends. They'd both been delighted to find that Jack would be planning and running his mission from the base where Patrick was stationed. It had given them time to catch up and Pat was glad to have the opportunity to question Jack about life outside the military, as he was thinking about entering Civvy Street himself. They'd had fun, albeit briefly. Then Jack had gone off on his mission and now, Pat noted, had returned looking like absolute hell. He threw off a quick salute for appearances sake - Pat was a lieutenant.

'Hey Jack, you leaving already? Where you been the last week?'

'Debriefs'

'All week?' Pat was surprised, that was unusual for Jacks kind of work. It didn't sound good either and he worried for his friend.

'Yeah all week. Just got my papers so I gotta run man. Give me a call and set up a visit - Teri and I would love to have you stay'.

Pat looked at him closely. 'He almost looks frightened' he thought to himself, 'either that, or he's desperate to get away'. But he just said quietly 'Sure, OK Jack. Take care of yourself'. Then he handed over a large envelope. 'Almost forgot. These came from your CO, I volunteered to come find you. Take it easy bud'. He jogged away, Jack watching him. Then he looked down at the envelope in his hands and immediately started to feel sick. He knew what was in it. He knew what he had to do, had always known but hadn't faced it until now.

Shit, he had to get out of here!

Jack threw the envelope into the car, jumped behind the wheel and took off. He ignored the salutes from the sentries as he left, just accelerated away from his army life, tyres squealing as if in protest.

All the thoughts of the last week were erased from his mind. The envelope on the passenger seat seemed to glare at him, overtake him, punish him with its accusing presence. And Jack could think of nothing else.

TO BE CONTINUED.....