Written for the Mystery Parents short challenge on the LJ comm 5432
Dark implications, but nothing too explicit. Slightly altered from the LJ version.
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Summary: She never wanted to be a mother.
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California Dreaming
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Born and raised in Washington,
She was always a California girl at heart.
Left Seattle at eighteen,
Didn't bother graduating.
Who cared about diplomas in Hollywood?
She didn't.
Crossed her fingers that
Nobody else would
Either.
...
Sunny skies were
Much better than rain
Clouds. The beach
Called her name
So many times that
She dreamt of waves,
Foamy crescendos
Going over her head.
( drowning sounds so much
cleaner than overdosing )
Skin turned red and
Peeled---did not
Tan so well.
The girls with honey
Skin would laugh so
Hard at that; neither
Cruel nor gentle
Nor nothing at all.
( i meant nothing to
them then and now
i mean nothing to
no one )
So many days spent
With only a towel and a
Bathing suit---
---She looked so
Nice in a bikini then---
Hopingwishingpraying that
Someone would discover her.
( i will never be
discovered now. )
...
She drank tequilas straight
At some producer's party
Once.
It was bitter,
Burned her throat as
It went down.
Not half as smooth
As promised.
The producer didn't pay
Any attention to her,
But a male model
With an easy smile
Gave her a fruity drink
That was deceptively
Sweet
She didn't remember
Anything after a few drinks.
Woke up in a strange place;
Tried to brush it off
Like it was nothing.
( it gets easier over time
i think )
...
Money ran out before
Hope ever did,
But
Perseverance was
Her middle name.
She tried to stay but
Best laid plans ( schemes )
Turn oft awry
J'MawMaw felt sick at heart,
Sent guilt through
Phone lines like
Poisoned arrows,
Apples.
She is one thousand
One hundred thirty-five
Miles away from her
Home city ( by car ).
Seventeen hours and
Twenty three minutes
Of road travel.
And it still isn't enough
To get away completely.
( getting away from myself
is even harder yet )
...
By nineteen she was
Hitch-hiking back North,
An act she swore she
Would never do.
( so much for promises )
Took the clothes on her back
And stuck out her thumb
Out on the one-oh-one
She had never been
Very good at saying "No."
And when she did
No one bothered to hear
So what was the point?
...
There were horror stories
Out there about girls who
Hitch-hiked their way
Across the states.
Their
Naked
Mutilated
Violated
Bodies
Found on country dirt roads.
She never encountered
Something like that
That she remembers.
...
She is pregnant by twenty.
It doesn't matter who the
Father is.
There have been so many,
Many men and she can
Barely recall their faces
Let alone their names.
Not that it mattered;
She was going to
Get rid of it anyway
( never got
the chance )
...
Born and raised in Washington,
She was always California girl at heart
Though she only stayed a year.
Came back to Seattle at nineteen
Didn't really have a choice
All her life she dreamt of being an actress, but
Who would notice one hopeful blond out of thousands?
No one.
Crossing her fingers
Never made a difference.
( sleep to dream
and never wake up )
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ahn~ I like this as is, so even if I have ideas for Miss Puckett (that being Sam and Melanie's mother) they will probably be explored in other ways, like Here Falls the Shadow or (Think) Nothing of Consequence [prose WIP]. Leave a review and let me know what you think!
But, ugh, reformatting my narratives in verse is a total pain! D: