Coming Home
by Jeannie G
Helene approached the small knot of people gathered at the fresh gravesite, swallowing her nervousness with a deep shuddering breath. Three years was a long time, she mused, and a funeral was a lousy reason for a homecoming.
There were the familiar faces of her mates, the people who had been her family when her own parents were too far in the bottle to give a shit. She saw Tranny, the asshole, and Coppa giving her a nod of acknowledgement. Wayne was talking quietly with Lanny and a tan, well-muscled young man in an ill-fitting suit. Helene realized with a start that it was The Kid, Barky. So the whole gang was here. Her gaze fell on the tall, lanky figure beside Barky and, as always, her heart broke a little.
Wace.
His handsome face was pale and drawn, the dark circles under his eyes bearing witness to the turmoil his life had been the last few weeks. When Coppa had called Helene to let her know Wace and Barky's dad died, he had warned her that Wace was extremely on edge, Jen had left him, and there was some really heavy shit going down. Coppa hadn't offered any details, and Helene didn't press the issue. She knew the rules.
Barky noticed the young woman making her way across the grass, and gave his older brother a tentative nudge with his elbow. He'd only been home since yesterday, and although he and Wace had worked through some of their differences, Barky wasn't sure how the bitter, resentful man his brother had become would react to seeing the other prodigal member of their group. Wace had taken it very hard when Helene left so suddenly three years ago. The two of them had been mates their entire lives, even longer than Wace and Coppa had known each other.
Wace looked up at Barky's prodding, and followed his brother's gaze to see the last person on earth he expected. "Hey, Wace, Barky." Helene's soft, lilting accent was like a tonic to Wace's raw nerves, the voice that had soothed him through so many rough times over the years. But she had deserted him, just like Mom, packed up one day and left town without explanation.
"Well, well," Wace's voice was heavy with animosity. "Here's the other happy wanderer. Amazing what crawls out of the woodwork."
Barky shot his brother a plaintive look, then stepped forward and hugged his old friend warmly. "It's good to see you, Lena," he said sincerely. This woman had tended many a cut and bruise for him, stopped more than one nosebleed when Barky's dad had worked him over. Even a s a young girl, Helene had been the one to comfort him and dry his tears.
"Thanks, luv." Helene returned the younger man's embrace with a smile. Barky was everyone's little brother, and she loved him fiercely. "I'm sorry about your dad."
"Well, that just makes it all better then, aye?" Wace's sarcastic smile held no trace of humor.
"Wace..." Helene started, but the priest silenced the small group with a raised hand and began the funeral service with a prayer. Wace did not bow his head. He'd given up asking God for anything a long time ago.
Coppa set four more pints on the table, and went back behind the counter to get his own. They were at the Kings Hotel, as usual, and it was stifling hot in the small bar, even for an Australian summer day. "Why can't you get air conditioning in here, ya cheap bastard?" Tranny complained for the tenth time in as many minutes.
" 'Cos then I'd have to make you pay for your beer, ya bugger." Coppa replied calmly. This was an ongoing argument that had started when he first took over the run down old hotel.
"At least the rooms are cool, mine is anyway," Helene interjected. "Thanks for letting me have the deluxe accommodations, Coppa." She raised her glass of Fosters in his direction in a mock salute. There were smiles all around, except for Wace, who was racking up for a game of eight ball with Tranny. Helene and Barky were sitting at the old, scarred table under the window, catching up on lost time and sharing their views on life and death which, fueled by many pints of beer, were very deep and insightful. Or so it seemed to them. Their conversation was only serving to annoy the hell out of Wace.
"I can't figure out if I'm more upset about Dad being gone, or the fact that I never got to finish my business with him," Barky said a bit forlornly. "There's so much I think I could say to him now..."
Helene put a comforting hand over his. "It's OK to be confused, luv. You went through hell because of that man. My dad made ..."
"Is that all you can ever do? Jesus Christ!" Wace slammed his pool cue down on the table and glared at his brother. "Yak fuckin' yak! It never stops!"
"Shit, not again," Tranny muttered and took a large swallow of his beer. "Didn't we get enough of this shit yesterday? Barky, can't you go one day without stuffing everything up?"
Aiming a level stare at his big brother, Barky's voice was low and even as he said," Piss off. I'm talking to Lena." He turned back to Helene, but his next comment was cut short by Wace's large, calloused hand grabbing the front of his shirt and hauling him out of his chair.
"Listen, you little shit," Wace brought his face within inches of the younger man's, "Don't try and impress your little girlfriend here by being mister tough guy. I don't need any of your smart mouth shit today."
"And you," Wace railed on Helene, "you come in here like some fuckin' princess and expect everyone to fall at your pretty little feet. You have no fuckin' idea what's been going on here, so keep your nose out of our business."
Helene felt the blood rise in her cheeks, disbelief and anger cutting through the pleasant fog the beer had left in her brain. Who was this ugly, bitter man wearing her friend's face?
"Hey, let's not do this," Coppa said, trying as always to be the peacemaker.
Barky cut in. "Get off her ass, Wace. She doesn't know..."
"You've always been so FULL of yourself," Wace was in Helene's face, ignoring everyone, features contorted with spite. "Never give a thought to the shit other people have to deal with..."
Helene spat back, "You have no idea what I'VE had to deal with! I spent my whole life worrying about your sorry ass, and this is what I get? Do you ever wonder why I left everything I cared about to go to Brisbane? NO! Because Wace doesn't give a shit about anyone but Wace!" The two were literally nose-to-nose, and Barky reflected with a bit of pride that Lena was the only person who ever had the guts to take Wace on like this. Even Tranny was afraid of him when he was in this mood.
"I don't give a fuck why you left, don't give a flyin' fuck." Wace's voice echoed off the walls of the hot, close poolroom. "What I do want to know is why the hell you bothered to come back!"
Helene was struck silent by the bitter, hateful tone in her old, dear friend's voice. He really didn't care. The years had taken away the Wace she loved, to be replaced by this carbon copy of his bastard father. Tears of despair and anger filled her eyes, and, hating herself for acting like a pouty little girl, she stalked out into the main bar area. Barky made a move to go after her, but Wace shoved his way past the smaller man and caught up with Helene as she slammed through the flimsy screen door, out into the stifling heat of the afternoon. With more force than he intended, Wace grabbed her by the arm and spun her around to face him. Tears streamed down her flushed cheeks, and her silently cursed himself for causing her pain.
"You touch me like that again and I'll have your balls in a jar," Helene hissed through her teeth, wrenching her bicep free of Wace's iron grip. "I had enough of this shit from my parents, and I sure as hell don't have to take it from you. Especially you!" Her voice rose, becoming louder as her anger grew. "You always made like you were so understanding and fuckin' compassionate. But you're just like your old man!"
The look of grief and pain that flashed in Wace's eyes made Helene suddenly regret her words. She'd come home to offer support to her friends, not exorcise her own demons. "God, I'm sorry, luv," she said softly. "I didn't mean..."
"You're right." Wace's voice was tight, his jaw clenched so hard that a small muscle in his cheek jumped. "I'm a bastard."
"No..."
"I watched my kid brother get the stuff beat out of him and never did a fuckin' thing about it. I defended that old sot until the day he died. It was always Barky's fault, the little shit did something to deserve..."
"Wace, you don't have to..."
"But his only fault was that he was like Mom. The bastard beat the shit out of his own son, because he reminded him too much of her." Wace looked into Helene's eyes, fighting hard the tears that welled up in his own. "And now I'm doing the same thing to you. You left me so piss on ya, right? Just like Dad."
Helene saw his face start to crack, the façade he'd been wearing all day falling away to reveal great weariness and anguish. She silently put her arms around his broad shoulders, and Wace buried his face in her neck, the tears finally flowing freely. "God, Lena, I'm just so tired..." He clutched her desperately around the waist, letting all of the conflict and denial that had consumed him for so long slip away. Lena could always do that for him, since they were kids. Even without saying a word, she gave him hope and confidence, something Jen could never do with her cookie cutter advice and sugary smiles.
"You wanted to know why I came back?" Helene murmured into Wace's ear. "Because I love you, ya stupid bastard. I have since first grade, when you punched Coppa in the stomach for stealing my lunchbox." She took a deep breath and leaned back, gauging his reaction. It had taken all of her nerve, but there it was, finally out in the open, the feelings she'd been harboring for so long. The look that crossed his face was odd and unreadable. Helene felt like going through the sidewalk, sure she'd just laid her heart on the line for nothing, and possibly stuffed up their friendship as well. Trying to disentangle herself from Wace's arms, she blushed and stammered, "Ah, shit. Um, sorry...I..."
Wace pulled Lena back to himself and shut her up with a long, heartfelt kiss. There were no bells, no singing birds, just the sudden surety that this was true and right and God why hadn't he realized this before? Things could have been so different...Wace prayed it wasn't too late. He needed Lena in his life to balance him, to make him whole. He couldn't let her run away again. "Stay with me," he whispered hoarsely into her hair.
"Yeah. I will." Helene's answer was typical Aussie, short and to the point, but it was all Wace needed to hear. Now things would be OK...
"Christ, I hope they didn't kill each other," Tranny's voice floated through the screen door. Pushing it open, he caught sight of his mates, and, in true form, bellowed, "It's about fuckin' time, you two!" A pair of raised middle fingers from Helene and Wace was the only response he got. Tranny's harsh chuckle trailed behind him as he disappeared back into the realm of the Erskineville Kings.