Cry me a River.
Story by Jen
A/n: Hey there! Wow it has been so long since I've written a story. I need to get back into my writing spirits! Yes I am still working on Mysterious do not worry. But to get back into my writing habits I decided to write up this little one-shot. I warn you, it's sad and angsty I guess. Inspired by the song Cry me a River – Justin Timberlake and it's TYKA!
Dizzyclimer; I do not own Beyblade, it's characters and locations in any way. It's all © to Aoki Takao, the creator of this wonderful series!
Enjoy!
Darkness, how it welcomed him, lingering all around him ready to swallow him up in its dark confines of comfort. Angry hands wiped at teary eyes, not stopping the ever flowing fluids that rolled down his cheeks. He tried to hold in a sob but it was useless, he was useless as he sat there on the floor. Sunken to his knees, head down. His bangs shielded his eyes from view.
He didn't want this, he hadn't asked for this and yet fate seemed to have fun toying with his already fragile heart. He couldn't do this, not now but he knew he had to. He didn't want to but he had to know.
"Why?" he asked, he did not recognise his own voice. It was raspy with emotion and held back sobs, empty and hollow. Fear gripped his heart as he awaited the dreaded answer that would come.
"I………….don't know", came the soft reply. His eyes widened slightly, he hadn't expected that. He clenched his fists and gritted his teeth as he turned and looked up at the person standing in the doorway.
"You don't know? How can you not know? "
The person looked away, not being able to look into those sad eyes that misted over with fresh and angry tears.
"Tyson…….", he took a deep shuddering breath before he was able to lock his eyes on him again.
Tyson stood up from the floor and walked across the room till he was in front of him. He stared at him hard, searching for any kind of clue in those ruby red eyes of his that he'd come to love so much.
Kai flinched seeing the display of emotions on the younger teens face.
"I deserve a better answer then that Kai and you know it. Why?", he asked again.
"I don't know why, it just…………happened okay", Kai said desperately. He was not good at this. He hated to see the tears on Tyson's cheeks, he loathed the fact that he was responsible for them, he feared those tears.
"Okay? Okay? What do you mean with okay? Should I be okay with that and just move on? Pretend I don't give a rat's ass perhaps?! What?" Tyson felt anger rise up inside of him. He'd asked a simple question and yet he didn't seem to get a straight answer on it.
"No I…", Kai stammered worthlessly, "Look I didn't mean for it to happen, it just did, and I know that this is not something you want to hear but I don't know how else to explain this to you. I just………we just….I don't know, Tyson this is not….please try to understand..."
Tyson gave him an incredulous look of disbelieve.
"Try to understand? Who do you think you are asking something that stupid of me? It's not like it was me who...who….ugh I can't even say it out loud. Of course I couldn't even try to understand it even if I wanted to! I thought that………..what we have……….had…..wasn't it enough for you? Wasn't I enough for you? What did I do to deserve this Kai? Please enlighten me because I'm kind of lost here!"
Tyson turned away from the older teen, his shoulders shook with the sobs that raked his body yet again.
"I thought…….." Tyson's breath hitched before he continued, " I thought you loved me"
Kai's eyes widened as tears started to gather in them and spilled over. He took a hesitant step towards the person he hurt beyond believe and lay a hand on his shoulder
"I did. I do love you Tyson", he said softly. Tyson shrugged his hand of.
"Don't touch me, don't tell me lies"
"I'm not lying!" Kai said slightly panicked with a raised voice. It was true; he did love Tyson ……so much. He couldn't imagine not loving him.
"Yes you are! If you weren't lying you wouldn't have cheated on me with another person Kai…..this……us….." Tyson trailed of as he turned to look at Kai, "It's all a lie!"
"No it's not! It's not a lie, I love you Tyson you might not believe it now and I can understand that, God if only I could've turned back time I would undo all of this mess I created, but I can't! ", Kai took another step closer and grabbed Tyson by the shoulders, "I did not mean for this to happen! I was confused I don't know…..all I know is that I don't want to lose you Tyson. Please……" he pleaded as he stared in the now cold hard eyes of his lover.
"Let go of me Kai", Tyson said hoarsely
"No I won't………….not until you hear me out", Kai countered. A sob escaped his throat.
"I think all is said right now and you know it. I can't do this anymore, I need to be alone. Let me go!" Tyson said darkly.
Kai loosened his grip slowly until Tyson shrugged his hands completely off of him with a look of disgust plastered on his face.
"I want you to leave Kai, I can't bear being in your presence anymore. I need some time alone to calm down and think this all through"
"But"
"Just go Hiwatari!" Tyson spat angrily.
"Fine I'll go……….for now. Tyson please tell me this is not the end, we can work this out I know we can! I couldn't…….I don't think I can live without you, pleased don't let this be the end."
Tyson just turned away from him and walked away….
Kai tossed and turned in his bed, the blankets were already on the floor. The chilly summer night breeze made him shiver but he didn't care. He sat up and wrapped his arms around his knees as he buried his face in his arms. How could he have been so stupid?
He recalled the events that let up to the hearwrenching confrontation he had mere hours ago. The thought of it brought fresh tears to his eyes. He felt miserable and he didn't care that he seemed weak for crying so much, he was practically bawling his eyes out.
This was not what he wanted; he did not want to be alone. He wanted to be with the one he loved so much, the one he hurt so much. He wondered what Tyson was doing, was he asleep?
Kai shook his head, he could only imagine how Tyson must feel, he must feel so much worse then he was. He couldn't believe he had betrayed the one person he cared for the most.
"Tyson. I'm so sorry", he choked out, shoulders shaking mercilessly with sobs.
Tyson entered the kitchen and sat across his grandfather who looked at him with worry in his eyes. His grandson had dark rings under his eyes which were also still puffy and red, he had probably been crying most of the night. Gramps sighed softly to himself, how could fate put Tyson and Kai in such a mess.
"Tyson are you alright?" he asked concerned.
"What does it look like", Tyson snapped miserably. He sighed as he looked up in the worried face of his grandfather. "Sorry didn't mean to snap at you"
"It's okay, I understand after all that happened…" gramps took a sip of his tea.
Tyson swallowed the lump in his throat.
"How come…" he started, "How come I can't hate him gramps? I want it so much, I want to hate him so much for what he did but I can't, it's frustrating and maddening. This is so unfair!" he slammed his fist on the table.
"He's such an asshole, a jerk! I wish…." Tyson yelled before he grew silent." I wish he was here with me, I wish I never found out, I wish ……..Godammit ….." he cursed. He was crying again.
"I'm such a fool"
"No you're not, you're just confused now, angry sad and confused. This whole ordeal has left a tear in your heart. It will heal but it will take some time", Gramps said softly as he hugged Tyson close gently rocking him back and forth.
"I still love him gramps how is this possible, I should hate him with all my guts……..I don't think I can ever forgive him though, it hurts too much." Tyson sobbed.
"It's because you care Tyson. Even though you don't want to, you can't stop that. You guys had………well have something special. Even now you can't deny that. But I understand what you mean, I would feel the same way but you know what?", Gramps looked his grandson in the face with a sad smile around his lips, "You will get out of this, and eventually you will be able to forgive him and move on, if not together then separate. This is just an obstacle in the road of life that has been thrown at you. You can learn from it how crooked that may sound now but it will make you stronger." he finished
"You really think so?"
"Yup trust me homie!" Gramps said , "Right now you two need some time and talk things over and see where you stand now"
Tyson wiped his eyes. "Thanks Gramps, I wouldn't know what I'd do without you", he said with a small smile.
"Anytime homeboy, now go fresh up, you look like crap"
Tyson nodded and stood up from the table. He walked the stairs to the bathroom and washed his swollen face with some cold water. As he dried his face he looked at his reflection. His face was still red but less puffy.
He went into his room and laid down on the bed as he turned on the radio. The soft music soothed him a little. He turned his head to his nightstand. His eyes travelled over a photo frame. He sat up and took it in his hands.
The picture showed their beyblade team. Max and Kenny were smiling goofy at the camera while Ray and Hillary just stared blankly forward smiling slightly. He himself had the biggest grin of them all. Kai was next to him, one arm curled securely around his shoulder, a content expression on his face.
"Oh Kai..", Tyson sighed as he laid back closing his eyes for a moment…………..
It had been nearly a week since he had seen Tyson, since there were no tournaments for a year, they didn't need to train so he didn't get to spend time with him at all. Kai sighed as he threw little pebble stones in the canal. He was sitting under the bridge near the edge of the water. The summer sun was nice and comforting on his naked arms. It was a nice warm day.
He took his cell phone from his pocket, fingers hovering over the numbers. He had been intending to call Tyson but he was too scared. Too scared of what might happen if he did……..scared of rejection………………..scared of the end of their relationship.
He sighed and put the phone back in the pocked of his sleeveless vest.
Picking up another pebble stone, he sighed and threw it in the water. It skidded a few times before it sunk.
"I need to apologise and try to fix this", Kai said softly to himself as he stood up. He climbed the small hill back up to the sandy path. He started walking following the path to the park. There was nobody there yet because it was still rather early. Kai took a small path deeper into the park till he reached an open spot and that's when he saw him.
He was sitting on one of the swings, his back to Kai. He was rocking slowly back and forth on the swing. Kai's breath hitched in his throat.
"Tyson", he whispered breathlessly to himself, his heart beat in his throat at the sight of the blue eyed angel before him.
Tyson sat on the swing; he was thinking things over in his head. He hadn't spotted Kai behind him. His fingers reached up and clutched the necklace that graced his neck.
"Do you mind if I join you?" came a soft and hesitant voice. A voice that Tyson would recognise everywhere.
Slowly he turned to face Kai, who stood some steps away from him, Blue eyes locked with red for a split second before he looked away.
He just nodded his head and proceeding his soft rocking on the swing. Kai took a deep breath and walked around Tyson to sit on the other swing next to him.
He didn't know what to do; the silence was unbearable for him. He needed to say something, he needed to apologise but he didn't know how to start. His chest hurt, his heart seemed to be clenching and unclenching in his chest.
"Tyson…I", he started, he looked up briefly but Tyson kept looking at the ground.
Kai swallowed the lump in his throat and with a trembling voice he continued, knowing that this was the right moment to this.
"Tyson I'm so sorry, words can't explain how much I regret what I did and I know this doesn't change that mere fact but I want you to know that I mean it, I really am sorry, and I wish that…"
"Kai"
Kai stopped talking when he heard Tyson say his name.
"I know", Tyson said looking up at him.
"But I can't forgive you………………..not now …."
Kai looked away, screwing his eyes shot as tears trickled from the corners of his eyes. He should've seen this coming and he had but nothing could've prepared him for the hurt that he felt at those soft words.
"I…" he whispered.
"Kai please look at me", Tyson pleaded. Kai didn't oblige, instead he looked away, regret and shame evident on his features. Tyson let out a small sigh and stood up
He stood in front of the dual haired teen and lifted his chin with his hand. Kai screwed his eyes shut, not being able to look him in the eyes.
"Please Kai, look at me", Tyson pleaded. Kai slowly opened his eyes and locked them with Tyson's blue orbs. He felt the soft touch of his hand on his cheek, wiping away some of the tears that streamed silently down his face.
"I can't forgive you now…………..I want to God I really do but I can't. I need some time. This needs to heal. You really hurt me and broke my heart. This is not easy for me either. God I've tried to hate you so much these past few days Kai but I can't………..I still care for you so much……….I still love you but", Tyson's breath hitched as he let go of Kai's face.
"It hurts too much still to be around you now, even though part of me really wants to be with you", he finished.
Kai slowly stood and walked around Tyson so he could face him.
"So this is the end? It's really over?" he said softly already knowing the answer to that question.
Tyson nodded, "For now……….I need time Kai please try and understand that"
Kai nodded sadly, "Believe it or not but I do understand Tyson, it's just that well………I just can't imagine not being with you. The past week has been hell, I missed you so much. I wanted to be with you………………just see you or hear your voice and now..."
"Kai ……………maybe when we are both calmed down and this is settled down…….maybe then we could try again. When I'm able to forgive you, who knows……..but right now it just hurts too much", Tyson said.
Kai nodded and took a step towards Tyson closing the gap between them. He hesitantly wrapped his arms around the smaller teen who stiffened in his embrace.
"I understand Tyson…….and I'll respect your decision. I just hope that someday…" Kai let the words linger when he felt Tyson wrap his arms around him hugging him tightly for a moment before he let go.
"Someday Kai", he said, the ghost of a tiny smile on his face. "Someday…."
With that Tyson took a few steps back before turning around and walking away.
Kai watched him go. He clenched his fists at his sides. He knew he would have a rough time for now, not being able to be close to Tyson but he could live with it because of an unspoken promise of someday…………..
END!!
Oh dear what HAVE I done?! XD. Well did you enjoy the story? Despite it being sad, I did enjoy writing this greatly. It has a lot of dialogue but that isn't too bad I think. I never really wrote a break-up story before and I intended for it to be dramatic. Did I succeed? Maybe someday I'll write a sequel to this one…………..you know when they might come back together on that Someday……………….who knows? OOCnezz has come back to haunt me but for this story it was actually fitting XD.
Thanks for reading. Reviews are appreciated! Flames will be used to roast my chicken on!
Jen
