Summary: They said he was insane, that he was a cold hearted murderer, and they called him a traitor. His name would freeze the bravest hearts, so said those who believed that tales that were told of him proclaimed truth. They would be wrong. Yet, he alone would suffer for a crime he didn't commit. Who is this man? Why, he is none other then the infamous Sirius Black and this is the story of the night he lost everything – even his sanity.
DISCLAIMER: All HP characters are the property of JKR, the WB, and respective publishing companies - this is nothing more than a simple FanFiction that I have written. I have made no money from this or any of the other stories I have posted on this or other sites.
AN: This story was originally written as a present for another author on HPFF a while back. It has also since been posted on Forever Fandom, under my pen name there (Mrs Insane One). Sirius Black happens to be one of my favorite characters to read or write and I really enjoyed working on this story, though it really isn't a fun story. - Jenn
Falling without Grace
The last traces of daylight were slowly fading from the sky as the engine of a large motorcycle roared to life. Sitting astride the bike was a young man with shoulder length black hair and laughing grey eyes. Tossing a careless glance over his shoulder, he revved the motor twice before starting off down the deserted country lane. The only evidence of his passing was a long thin trail of dust that hung above the road before slowly drifting back to earth with the help of an autumn breeze.
Sirius Black laughed breathlessly into the wind as his motorcycle picked up speed, his hair whipping around his face as he urged the machine to greater speeds. When he judged his speed sufficient, he switched gears and leaned back slightly as the front wheel of the bike lifted from the ground. Half a heart beat later, the rear wheel threw off one last cloud of dust as it too left the earth. Whooping loudly, Sirius pulled back on the handle bars as the bike climbed higher into the star studded skies, there was nothing he loved more then racing across the heavens on his enchanted motorbike.
As the bike gained altitude, Sirius glanced back behind him and studied the night skies below. A troubled frown passed over his face as he noted that he was completely alone – not even a hint that his shadow from the last week was slinking along in his wake. Flicking on the dimmer switch he'd installed on his bike, Sirius slowed his bike and turned back to search the sky behind him more thoroughly as the engine quieted to a soft purr and the lights shut off.
He hovered there, in the shadow of a cloud for several long minutes while checking for the slightest sign that he was still being chased by the Death Eater. It soon became apparent though, that he was completely alone for the first time since the night the Fidelius Charm had been performed by his best friend James Potter; hiding James and his wife from the eyes of Voldemort.
Shaking his head, he shoved the nagging worry to the back of his mind as he caught sight of a small group of Muggle children below him dressed up in Halloween costumes. He snorted under his breath when he caught sight of one child dressed in what appeared to be a witch's costume – the girl was wearing a long pointed hat, black robes, green face paint, and a long nose with several warts sticking out of it – he found it amusing that Muggles constantly confused hags with witches.
Leaving the dimmer switch in the on position, to avoid drawing the attention of those wandering around below, Sirius hauled the bike back around and sped off once more. It didn't take long for his goofy smile to slip back into place as the wind rushed around him as he drove the motorbike even higher. This, he thought to himself, is even better then flying a broom!
Two long hours passed as Sirius flew south and east, his mind completely free from all worries – a rare occurrence given the war that was revenging the world around him. His carefree mood soon fled though, as he began his decent towards a cottage that sat in a darkened clearing, his worries crashing back down on him as unease filled his stomach once more.
Why is it so dark? He thought to himself as the front wheel of the bike touched down on the grass that covered the open space around the cottage. The looming trees that crouched in the darkness behind the small cabin in front of him appeared as sinister specters, and Sirius couldn't repress the shudder that danced across his spine as he cut the engine and felt the silence rush in. Peter hates the dark.
Sirius grimly studied the cottage and the surrounding area for another minute, taking careful note of the empty cloud filled sky above the building, before dropping his left foot back to hook around the bike's stand. With a sharp jerk, he pulled the kick stand down into place with a soft crack before slipping off the bike and drawing his wand with practiced ease.
He moved stealthily, yet quickly, forward as he continued to take in his surroundings; ever mindful of the shadows that seemed to be closing in on him. He knew there was a possibility that a trap had been laid for him, there was no doubt in his mind that the Death Eaters were looking for him, and he feared the possibility that Peter might have been hurt.
Reaching the porch, Sirius eased around the squeaky loose board and peered in the left hand window. Inside he found everything as it should be – not a single piece of furniture out of place or any sign that a struggle had taken place inside. Reflexively Sirius lowered his wand as questions filled his head and he turned to study the clearing once more before opening the window and slipping inside the quiet house.
"Wormtail?" Sirius whispered softly as he paused beside the window. "Peter, are you here?"
No one answered and Sirius' worries increased as he stealthily moved deeper into the room. The darkness deepened the further away from the window he moved, but he was loath to ignite the tip of his wand least he give away his position to a waiting enemy. Keeping his wand at the ready, Sirius moved through the house with cautious half steps. Taking time to study each room before entering, never letting his eyes remain still as he searched for some sign of his friend or what might have befallen him.
Ten minutes after first entering the dark and empty cottage found Sirius standing back beside the window he'd entered through. Confusion and fear warred within him as he tried to figure out what had happened. On impulse, he performed the spell that transformed him into a large black dog. Once in his Animagus form, he searched the house a second time – using his heightened dog senses to pick up anything he might have missed the first time he searched.
When he reached the kitchen, he came across the scent trail of Wormtail – Peter in his Animagus form – and followed it through an open window and out to the edge of the surrounding forest. The trail was fading, but fresh enough and strong enough that Sirius knew Peter had recently passed this way. Trotting back to the front porch, he snuffed around the front door and the grounds immediately in front of the cottage searching for the unmistakable acidic scent that he'd come to associate with Death Eaters. Finding nothing but his own fresh scent and some old traces of Peter, Sirius changed back into human form and turned to look at the cottage once last time.
As he slowly put two and two together the blood drained from his face as realization sunk in – Peter Pettigrew had been the one who'd been passing information to Voldemort about the Potters. Peter, the forth Marauder and close friend of James and himself, was the spy that Dumbledore and his Order had discovered among them.
Swearing loudly as his own blindness and stupidity, Sirius sprang into action as his concern for James and Lily's safety tripled. Jumping astride his bike, he started the engine and released the kickstand at the same time before bringing the bike around and roaring out of the clearing. This time there was no long, leisurely run along a country road before easing the motorcycle into the sky, he didn't even give a thought to who might be see him as the bike shot up into the sky and he sped off toward Godric's Hollow, his heart beating wildly in his chest as he prayed he wouldn't be too late.
"Come on," Sirius urged desperately as he opened the bike up as far as it would go. The knowledge that he was speeding along at over one hundred fifty miles per hour didn't bring the usual euphoria that such speed would have brought him normally – now he could only think of how long it was taking him to reach his friend and cursing the fact that he'd not remembered to ask Lily to apply a portkey charm to the motorbike the last time he'd seen her.
Time seemed to stand still as the tiny village of Godric's Hollow loomed into view and the lingering green haze from the hovering Dark Mark shed its meager light upon the ruins that had once been James and Lily Potter's home. Tears sprang into Sirius' eyes as he dropped to the ground with a squeal of rubber and jumped off without bothering to set the kickstand.
The sound of the large bike crashing to the pavement drew the attention of the only other person on the premises, and as Sirius scurried over the wreckage he was overshadowed by the hulking form of Hogwarts' groundskeeper – Rubeus Hagrid.
"James!? Lily!?" Sirius wailed as he dug through the debris. "Prongs, man, where are you?"
"There's nothin yeh can do, Sirius, they're gone," Hagrid growled hollowly as he brought his huge hand to rest on Sirius' shoulder – making the younger man's knees buckle from the weight. "They didn' stand a chance against You-Know-Who."
"Why? How...?" Sirius groaned as he turned his attention to the large man for the first time. "Where..?"
"They're over by the trees, I found 'em when I was searchin' for young 'Arry here," Hagrid replied as he lifted his hand from Sirius and pointed to a point just beyond the ruined house. "I'm sorry, Sirius, I came as fast as I could."
Sirius didn't respond as he clambered over the broken bits of wood and plaster to reach the grass at the edge of the destruction. It was there that he found the remains of his two closest friends, both covered respectfully with a singed sheet that had been salvaged from the wreckage of their home.
Sirius collapsed to his knees as he gently pulled the sheet away to reveal first James' face and then Lily's, both of them wearing frozen expressions of fear mixed with determination. The sight was too much for young Sirius and as his tears poured from his eyes as he gathered the body of James into his arms and held him to his chest as he rocked back and forth babbling apologies to the dead man.
"I didn't know," he sobbed, "all my fault. If only I'd listened to you. I thought I was helping."
"Come away Sirius, come on now," Hagrid urged as he tried to pull Sirius away from James. "There'll be Muggles crawling all over here soon, we have to leave now."
Sirius carefully eased James back down to the ground before kissing his forehead softly as he whispered a hasty "Goodbye." Next he brushed a kiss against Lily's cold cheek as he smoothed her hair out of her face, smiling regretfully through his tears as he returned the sheet to its previous position.
Climbing to his feet he took one long last look before turning to face Hagrid. "You're right, Hagrid, you said Harry survived?"
"Yeah, I've got him here," Hagrid confirmed as he produced a small bundled for that he'd been cradling in one hand.
"Here, let me take him," Sirius demanded as he reached out for the child. "It's what James would have wanted, I'm his godfather."
"I would, Sirius, but Dumbledore wants me ter bring him ter him," Hagrid countered as he tucked the babe more securely into the crook of his arm. "Dumbledore'll see to it he comes to no harm."
Sirius slowly let his arms fall uselessly down to his sides as he absorbed Hagrid's words. "That's probably for the best," He admitted reluctantly. "How will you get him there?"
"I'll be callin' the Knight Bus, soon as I can get clear of here," Hagrid informed him.
"That'll be a bit risky don't you think?" Sirius questioned as he let his eyes wander over to where his prized motorcycle lay forgotten against the pavement. "Why don't you take my bike? It'll be faster and safer."
"Your bike?" Hagrid repeated as he too turned to look at the machine where it sat. "Are yeh sure yeh don't mind?"
"It's fine, Hagrid, take it, it won't do me any good," Sirius insisted as he led Hagrid over to the motorcycle and lifted it up off the ground. "I'd feel better knowing Harry was traveling safely."
"Thanks, Sirius," Hagrid with relief – the huge groundskeeper rather disliked riding the Knight Bus. Sirius reached out to take Harry from Hagrid, as the big man straddled the bike and turned the engine over.
"Be safe Harry, I'll come find you when it's over," Sirius whispered as he kissed Harry's forehead and passed him back to Hagrid.
Hagrid nestled the boy inside his huge coat to protect him from the cold before putting the bike into gear and roaring off down the street. Sirius watched them until they were lost from sight then he walked back over to stand beside James and Lily one last time.
"I'll make him pay for this James, if it's the last thing I do, I'll make him wish he'd never been born," Sirius murmured tightly. "I just wish I'd figured it out sooner, and then maybe you and Lily could still be here. I pray that one day you'll forgive me for failing you, brother."
Done swearing vengeance, Sirius turned his back on the still forms of those he had considered his only family, and walked away while shoving his grief to the back of his mind. Entering the woods he paused only long enough to transform into his dog form before approaching the wreckage once more, where he began sniffing around for a hint of the one he hunted.
Sure enough, right outside the front door, Sirius came upon the overwhelming scent of Wormtail mingled with the acidic tang of a Death Eater and a foul musk that could only belong to Voldemort. Howling his triumph to the night he took off after his prey, his mind echoing a crazed mantra over and over as his large paws pounded the ground rhythmically.
Find him, kill him... Find him, kill him...
Two days. Sirius raced through the countryside following the here again, gone again scent that belonged to Peter Pettigrew's Animagus rat form for two long days. He was tired, thirsty, and ragged by the time he padded into the suburbs of London forty-nine hours after discovering Peter's betrayal. The trail from the north had been long and hard, but he'd doggedly followed where Peter's scent led him.
Sirius's path through London was difficult at best – spending nearly half his time avoiding the grabbing hands of passing Muggles that tried to catch hold of him for reasons unknown. Eventually he ducked down into an unused alley way and was surprised to come face to face with Peter hunkered down among a hoard of rats.
Triumphantly Sirius transformed back into his human self and grappled with his wand as he approached the unsuspecting Peter. Rats squealed in terror as they fled at the sight of Sirius bearing down on the cowering Peter.
"Why?" Sirius rasped out harshly, his voice rough from disuse.
Peter whipped around at the sound and studied Sirius with mounting terror. His whole body quivering until his eyes fell upon the crowd of Muggles that were gathering around the mouth of the alley.
"How could you, Sirius? Lily? And James? You were their friend!" Peter cried out loudly, his voice still trembling slightly with fear. Tears coursed down his cheeks as he shouted out a second time. "Why did you betray them?"
Sirius's control snapped as Peter's unfounded accusations rang in his ears – an out-spoken echo of his personal torment from the last two days. With a fierce growl, he launched himself at Peter, only to feel himself thrown back into the mass of people that had gathered behind him. The last thing Sirius saw, as he landed hard against the ground, was Peter transforming into a rat and disappearing down into the sewers.
All around Sirius were the frightened cries and groans of countless Muggles that had been injured from the blast that Pettigrew created. He saw it all as if from a distance as he tried to comprehend what had just happened. It was at that moment that Sirius began laughing. It was a mirthless laugh, filled with grief, anger, and despair.
He was still laughing when the Junior Undersecretary to the English Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge, arrived on the scene with a hoard of Aurors and had him arrested. Later, it would be said that Sirius Black was insane, that he had lost his mind when his lord and master, Lord Voldemort, fell. Peter Pettigrew would be mourned and heralded a hero for attempting to bring Sirius to justice for the crime of Lily and James Potter's deaths.
And so fell one of the true, brave Gryffindors, a man of honor and loyalty. Without grace, without hope, he fell from the light and faced a lifetime of terror as he relived his nightmare every time the Dementors approached him.
It will take another twelve years, before glimpse of a rat turned traitor, a trio of young teens, and a forgotten friendship to uncover the truth.
* * * THE END * * *