Why can't I trust you?
It was raining. As the sun left behind the clouds and the cold moved down my body. My room was empty. Empty of warmth family friends love laughter but not empty of tears in fact tears is what filled up my room like a sea.
What was I doing here? Why was I born? What use was I here? Did my family even love me? I wish I was an only child. As the thoughts run through my mind the lights go out and the room goes dark and cold and empty. I climb into bed for only the warm bed sheets could comfort me. As my tears start to soak my pillow.
My name is Clare I live in a basement. I am alone. I am always alone. I long for the feeling of love. Physical and metal. I want my family to appreciate me not beat me. I want to be spoken to not yell at. I want to be hugged not thrown I want to belong not be thrown out *sigh* but all that is a dream
As I am yelled at again for the hundredth time for something I have not done. A rage of anger fills my head RAGE! Screams shocking sounds and aggressive behaviour blocks my better judgment. As I look into my mother's eyes I see everything that she feels and thinks about me. Mistake, Trouble, No good, Idiot and trash. And her lips move to the sound. I don't love you I wish you were dead. And I tear up again I say "so do I. and I knew what I was going to do next. I didn't want to be in her life any more than she wanted to be in mine. I lock the door to my room and pull my razor out from the bottom of the bed and slice. As the puddle of blood started soaking into the floor I slowly collapsed loosing conciseness as my eyes role and close forever the last thing I see is my mother standing at the door watching me bleed to death.
The gates of hell open and the devil greets me with a smile. This is the end. The end of suffering, pain, and heart ache. As death asked me why I did what I did. I look at him with stern eyes and say because love is an abomination a lie.
A elusion. The devil nods his head. i tell him everything what I have been through my thoughts on life and what betrayal is like for me and at the end he tells me that I have made his heart beat for the first time and grants me one wish one curse on anyone I choose. As I think of everything my mother had done and father I say to him. I curse me. He looks at me puzzled and says why? After all you have been through why? Because if I can only choose one I would never be able to punish the both of them so I choose myself. as he cast the fire and ash over me the curse is permanent he says.
"I am not afraid
The devil looks at me with sad eyes. Your curse *sigh*
You are not to love or experience love
You will always be alone and never seek company
You will always be poor
You will never be respected
You will always be judged
You will be abused
You will never be happy
You will be depressed
You will have no friends
As the curse is finally complete he says to me
"Until we meet again and kisses me on the for head
*black all around*
As I wake up it is raining. And the sun has left behind the clouds and the cold moved down my body. My room was empty. Empty of warmth family friends love laughter but not empty of tears in fact tears is what filled up my room like a sea…
But the only thing that reminded me that it was real was the blood stain and the curse imprinted in my mind forever.
Hell is hell and heaven is heaven.