Song for this chapter: Don't You Worry Child by Swedish House Mafia
There was a stillness in fenced in backyard that was unbroken by the surrounding neighborhood. Hardly a noise was made by the waving of the grass that had grown a bit long with the lack of attention from the homeowners. It seemed that no one was even living in the house that dusk was slowly settling over, and then out of the blue there were two quick and startling cracking sounds that reverberated back off of the wood of the fence. The sound startled an owl from its resting place in a tree near the kitchen window.
A man and a women, looking bedraggled in their dirt covered cotton clothes, appeared in the wake of the sound. The woman walked hurriedly in front of the man tugging her green button down shirt over her head while he lugged a canvas bag behind him looking for all the world like he wanted to lay down in the grass and sleep.
"I don't know how you can walk so quickly after transcontinental apparition Hermione," he called after her. "I'm exhausted enough to sleep on the back porch."
"Oh Severus, I am beyond tired," she laughed as she straightened out her white tank top that was soaked through with her sweat. "It's only the thought of a nice hot bath to wash away the grime of the Egyptian desert that is keeping me moving right now."
Just as Hermione reached for the door leading into the house the owl that had been startled early swooped back down and fluttered before her trying to deliver a letter tied to its foot. She disregarded the brown feathered bird however and leaned to the side so she could look through the window of the back door.
"No rest for the weary then," she said with a laugh as she looked back at Severus who was just stepping onto the porch. "It looks like the gang couldn't wait to hear about our trip to the pyramids and saw fit to let themselves into the house."
"I bet Sirius is helping himself to the chicken in the fridge," Severus groused as he stepped around her and threw open the door.
"As if I'd touch that rancid pot of slime in there," Sirius said with a laugh as the couple joined them in the kitchen. "Just how long has that questionable chicken been in there anyway?"
"Well… I think we had chicken two days before—" Hermione started to say, but then she had fully entered the kitchen and fell silent when her eyes landed on Sirius.
Lily, James, and Sirius watched her in concern, but Severus seemed unperturbed by the way her eyes began to flash back and forth as if she were rapidly reading a book that they could not see. He calmly walked over and grabbed her elbow delicately; aware of the fact that she sometimes fell over when this happened.
"What is happening to her?" Lily asked softly.
"She is reliving a memory," he explained quietly, his eyes trained on his wife. "As we've rebuilt her occlumentic walls they have slowly begun to be uncovered. They are usually triggered by seeing or hearing something that relates associatively to the memory in question. This one appears to be about Sirius so it's a crap shoot as to whether it will be good or bad."
"Hey, I object to that remark," Sirius said with a mock pout.
"You live that remark twit," Severus said, though his eyes were filled with humor. "You must admit through that the experiences she's had with you in the past are a mixed bag."
Oh… oh no. No, no, no. That cannot be.
Severus heard the startled whisper of her unguarded thoughts in his mind just before she jerked back. Her eyes locked on Sirius once more, tears welling up in her eyes as she stumbled back and fell onto the kitchen floor just barely missing hitting her head on the island counter.
"I'm sorry," she gasped before she began to cry outright. "I know that doesn't begin to cover it. It was horrible. I understand if you here from some sort of… retribution. Just please leave Severus out of it."
"Shh, Hermione, it's okay," Severus said as he knelt down before her blocking her view of Severus and taking her chin in hand so she would focus entirely on him. "What did you remember?"
"I-I killed them," she stammered with pain etched into every line of her face. "Horrifically. How can you bare to look at me knowing that I've done that? You did know didn't you?"
"I did, and I can still look at you my love because I know why you did it." he whispered, finally releasing the bag he was carrying so he had a free hand to brush the tears from her face. "Did you remember that part?"
Her eyes tracked back and forth once more, much slower this time, as she reviewed the memory.
"She was hurting you. Killing you," she choked out around a hiccough. "And I was wearing a horcrux. I was not in control of myself, not really."
"No, you weren't," Lily said, drawing the couples attention to her. "And who could blame you for that. Your very world was being threatened. You thought you might lose it. Of course you attacked."
"It's not that simply though," Hermione sighed, scrubbing at her own tears as she regained more control of her emotions. "I still took life. I wounded Sirius. I remember the weight of him as I held him up at their funeral. The guilt that was seeping out of my very pores. You cannot possibly have forgiven me for what I have done."
"Admittedly it took me some time to get around the anger," Sirius said, speaking in a much more somber voice than he had been given reason to use in nearly a year. "When I first found out it was you. I was blinded by the rage that I felt, but eventually I was able to see. Yes, murder is wrong, but we were at war and faced with very limited choices because of that. And that is before taking into consideration the impulses that would have been driven entirely out of your control when in possession of a dark artifact."
"Not to mention she was defending a loved one," James said with a slightly defensive edge to his voice. "I'm not condoning murder under any circumstance of course, but when a family is threatened, or devastated by a loss, I think it can be seen as justified. What I mean to say is, Hermione, none of us is holding what you did against you. Bellatrix and Wallburga went in a brutal way, but the world is a better place without them."
"He's right of course," Sirius agreed with a shaky nod. "I imagine what you've just remembered was very traumatic, but I wish you wouldn't think on it. I've moved on from it and you should as well."
"I don't understand how any of you can be so forgiving," Hermione said quietly, pulling her green over-shirt back on as if it could protect her from the emotional exposure she was feeling. "But I'm grateful for it."
"They can be so forgiving because they know you aren't the only one who's done something like that," Lily said carefully causing James to turn to her with a look of panic in his eyes. "And I can, because I've done it."
"What?" Severus asked, blindsided by the revelation that his childhood friend may not be as wholesome as he believed.
"You remember of course that Wormtail was left on display on the grounds of Riddle Manor," she whispered. "But did anyone on the other side ever figure out that it was me who killed him and put him there? After what he did, causing us to lose Harry like that, it was not a merciful killing."
"When would you have even had time to do that?" Severus asked softly. "You were still in hospital when he was discovered."
"I left the hospital wing in the middle of the night," she explained. "I was healed physically, Poppy was keeping an eye on me because of my mental… distress, but she had to sleep sometime. When she had gone to bed, I left the grounds and I went to Peter's home. He hadn't even tried to hide after what he had done. I'm ashamed to admit how easy it was for me to break into his home, brutally murder him, and then hide his body on the grounds of that mansion. I had put him on display, so it would be startling when he was discovered, but then I put a timed disillusionment charm on him so that when he was finally discovered I would have a solid alibi for being somewhere else when he was supposedly dropped there. I'd like to say I did it all in an emotional haze, but I knew exactly what I was doing and I think I would do it again. So it's easy for me to forgive you Hermione."
"I never would have thought it was you," Hermione said softly. "But it should have been you if that makes any sense. What he stole from you… it cannot be replaced. All of my memories of Harry are gone, for now anyway, but Severus told me about how I was friends with him before I fell back through time. He said I cared very much for him, and spoke kindly of him. I think it is safe to say that your son would have been a very good man had he not been struck down so early. I have no compunction in forgiving you either."
"Did you guys know the whole time?" Severus asked Sirius and James. "I'm not angry of course, I hope it isn't coming off that way. It's only that we were at such risk when he thought that I had done it. We tried to pin it on Dumbledore to keep anyone from being hurt."
"Lily didn't tell me until after your trial," James admitted.
"It was a bit of a guilty confession really. " Lily sighed. "When Hermione stood up like that and began confessing to these awful things that were going to get her locked away, I very nearly stood up and joined her. Instead I remained in my seat and waited until after we had gotten Sirius and Severus back to Grimmauld place and then I told James."
"I didn't find out until much later," Sirius shrugged. "I'd have done it myself if I hadn't been so wrapped up in what was going on with Hermione and Severus."
"Well aren't we quite the group," Hermione laughed as she hauled herself up from the floor and reached for the owl that was still hovering indignantly over the group trying to deliver his letter. "I imagine this is a letter telling us you all are coming for a visit."
"Yes, we sent him ahead of us," Lily explained. "Maybe we shouldn't have told him to come to the house. What were you guys doing in Egypt anyway? Marking another destination off your list?"
"Yes," Hermione said with a bright smile overtaking her features. "They Pyramids of Gyza were amazing. We ended up staying much longer than anticipated however, so we could collect rare specimens for the apothecary. I hope that Jenny and her mother didn't try to visit while we were away."
"Ms. Walker always sends her patronus before they come in," Severus reassured her. "That would have reached us and we would have returned don't fret. So are you all here for a social visit, or to try and convince us to return to England yet again."
"Of course we're here to try and get you to move back," Sirius said with a chuckle. "I don't see why you're being so stubborn. The war is long gone, and Hermione no longer has to worry about her name over there. Now that the story has come out about how she worked tirelessly to try and save the wizarding world she's basically a war hero. Only Dumbledore is more popular than her with the general public."
That was likely meant to encourage the couple, but their faces soured quickly at the mention of Dumbledore. Hermione met Severus's gaze with a question in her eyes, but he simply shook his head and grabbed their bag before stomping out of the kitchen. Hermione turned to their guests and smiled apologetically.
"We're both very tired," she sighed. "And being a war hero is something either of us is interested in. We just wanted the war over. Dumbledore can enjoy the stardom for supposedly ending the war all he wants. We have made a life for ourselves here. We have the apothecary, and Severus is nearly at the end of his potions mastery. I've been studying a bit of healing, and of course we have our travels. There isn't anything for us in England."
"What are we, chopped liver?" Sirius laughed. "You have friends in England. Do you have any of those here?"
"We have made friends with many of our clients." Hermione said with a smile. "They aren't as close as the type of friendship you develop when you fight in a war with someone by any means, but they have meaning for us. You understand don't you? We wouldn't ask you guys to move to Australia for us."
"I just don't get it," Sirius said with a shrug. "Why Australia?"
"It's hard to explain why we came, since it I still haven't regained all of my memories I'm certain I'm missing something," she explained. "Severus tells me I mentioned sending my parents here, but that was nearly 20 years in the future, so I think there must be something else that drew me here."
"Assuming it wasn't just Dumbledore implanting the urge to get as far away from him as possible." Sirius grumbled. "I still don't like the idea of leaving him completely unchecked in England."
"He doesn't have some master evil plot," James interjected. "I know that you believe he is a necromancer, and we haven't fought you on that point, but he hasn't done anything to indicate that he has sinister motives. Is that the real reason you want them to come back?"
"No," Sirius argued. "Admittedly I would sleep better at night, but the real reason I want them to come back is because I miss them. We became good friends with everything we went through, and I hate that I have to register for an international portkey if I want to drop by for tea."
"Look, we'll think about coming back at some point in the future," Hermione conceded. "But not right now. You're always welcome to come spend some time with us here though. Heck, there is even a house for sale just up the street, you could become our neighbor if you wanted."
"He hasn't been off of probation for acting against orders to get a convicted necromancer out of Azkaban… now probably isn't the time to try and get a recommendation to transfer." Lily pointed out.
"They really put you on probation for that?" Hermione groused. "Dumbledore did all the leg work."
"I think it's that patronus I got in trouble for to be honest," Sirius laughed. "Proudfoot was questioned under oath he had to tell them about the protocols I violated. Besides, I've always been a bit of a bad boy. The probation was good for my reputation with the ladies."
"Oh don't get started with that bit again," James cut him off. "Look, we have to get back so we can get a decent amount of sleep before going into work in the morning. We registered for two additional international portkeys that can be used between now and the end of the week if you guys change your mind. We really do wish that you'd come home, but we understand if you decide to stay. If nothing else, we'll see you guys in a few months when we all go on that vacation in Saipan."
"It was good to see you all, despite all the dramatics," Hermione said, giving them each a quick yet fierce hug. "I'll write you all about our trip once I've had a bit of rest."
Hermione stayed in the kitchen long enough to watch them walk out into the backyard and apparate away. She cast a locking charm on the backdoor and began peeling her soiled shirt off once more as she walked further into the house without bothering to turn on any lights despite the growing darkness.
"Severus please tell me you've already started a shower," she called as she navigated around the living room furniture and made her way to the stairs.
"Obviously," he called, and she just made out his voice over the sound of running water as she climbed the stairs. "If you hurry I'll have time to wash your hair before I fall asleep standing up."