Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Joss
Whedon does.
Takes place after 'Normal Again' Absolutely nothing in episodes after that have happened in this story.
Chapter 1: Not A Part Of Her Life
'Not a part of her life, huh! Fine! Then I'll just get out of her bloody life!' Spike thought angrily as he started to pack his things. He was going to leave Sunnydale for good this time. He was sick and tired of being used by the Slayer for sex. He had wanted her to love him, but she didn't. He was a just a sex toy to her. An evil souless sex toy.
When they had kissed for the first time, Spike felt like he was on top of the world. Until she told him that it was a mistake and it would never happen again. But it did. And again she told him that it had meant nothing to her, but it had meant the world to him. She told him that they couldn't be together because he was evil. He told her he could change for her, but she didn't believe him. She hit him and he hit her back. That's when he found out the chip didn't work on Buffy anymore.
He told her that she came back wrong, that maybe she was not a human anymore. It was mean, and he knew it, but he was only repeating the same things that she had said to him. He wanted her to feel hurt the way he had. They started a really big physical fight that ended with her kissing him (not because she loved him like he wanted; she did it to shut him up). They fell down through the building and shagged for the first time.
Spike thought maybe he was getting somewhere, that he was finally reaching her. But he wasn't. He made the mistake of telling her that the only thing better than killing a slayer was shagging one. OK, bad move. But she wasn't exactly saying the nicest things to him either. She told him that she was disgusted with herself for sleeping with him.
Even after he took Dawn to the hospital after Willow almost killed her in a car wreck, she still saw him as a worthless souless being who wasn't good enough to love, but was still good enough to shag while she was invisible. He eventually kicked her out, saying that she was only there because she wasn't there, and that's not the kind of relationship he wanted. And yet they still shagged each other again and again. One time after sex, instead of running away disgusted, they actually started having a nice conversation, until he called her an animal. He didn't really mean to hurt her, but he did.
Soon after that he had seen her at the Bronze standing by herself, just watching her friends. He told her that she belonged him in the dark, and that she didn't belong with them. And he said, "What would they think of you if they knew..." He knew that she wasn't telling her friends about them because she was ashamed of him and thought her friends were going to look down on her. And even if she did learn to love him, she would still end up turning him away because of her friends. He wanted her and was afraid of losing her. Not good excuses, but hey he is a vampire, and his chip now works on Buffy. Instead of telling her that she should be in the dark with him, he could have turned her, forcing her to be in the dark with him. But he didn't.
After Buffy thought she had commited a murder, Buffy wanted to turn herself in. But Spike didn't want her too. He hid the body, and tried to convince her to go to the police. Spike thought he was doing the right thing. He didn't want her to throw her life away, just because of a murder that even if she did commit, was just an accident. She told him that he didn't undserstand, that it was one more dead body to him. He asked her to explain it to him, but instead of explaining, she beat him. She kept punching him in the eye over and over again. When she was done, he could barely open his eye or see. Then she just left him there. If he hadn't have been able to get himself back to his crypt, he would have been dust when the sun came up. And either Buffy didn't think about that or didn't care. (Or she may have rightfully assumed that he was still capable of getting himself back home, but why not better safe than sorry?)
Spike knew that Buffy needed more money to help support herself and Dawn. Spike wanted to help, but it wasn't as if he could go out and get a real job. So he decided to sell demon eggs on the black market. He didn't know that eggs were going to kill a lot of innocent people. Heck he didn't even know that he had to keep the eggs frozen. After Buffy had blown up the bottom level of his crypt, (with the help of her ex-boyfriend Riley, who Spike liked to call Captain Cardboard) she dumped him. But it wasn't because of the eggs. She finally admitted to using him, and said that she could do that anymore because it was killing her, not that she couldn't use him because it was wrong to hurt him that way.
He showed up at Anya and Xander's non-wedding with a date to make Buffy jealous. It worked, but he couldn't help but feel a little bad about hurting her. They actually had a civil conversation there and it looked to Spike, like even if the couldn't be lovers, maybe they could still be friends. But even that hope was shattered in the cemetary. While they were talking Xander and Willow show up, and Buffy tells them that she was only talking with Spike to find out what trouble he was getting himself into. Not only could she not admit to her friends that they had sex, but she didn't even want to be seen being friendly with him.
While Xander and Spike were fighting, Buffy collapsed on the floor due to those nerds making her think she was in the mental hospital. Spike wanted to bring her back to his crypt to help but Xander told him that they would take care of her because "we're her friends". Spike wasn't Buffy's lover or boyfriend; he wasn't even her friend.
But they still needed him to collect the demon the nerds had summoned. After Spike and Xander had the demon tied up in the basement, he went to her room to see her. That was when she told him that he wasn't a part of his life. It hurt him, and that was why he was leaving Sunnydale for good. There was nothing left for him here. Except for Dawn. He would just have to find a way to say good-bye to her without seeing Buffy again. It was just too painful for him.
Author's Note: As you can see, not much happens in this chapter. Basically it's a review of some events in Season 6. These events are going through Spike's mind as he packs. That's one of the main reasons it's a little one sided in Spike's favor. Even though it mentions some of the things Spike shouldn't have done, it obviously makes the reader feel more for Spike. I think that both Spike and Buffy did some bad things to each other last season, I don't really know who I think was worse. (Well, I thought it was Buffy until 'Normal Again', but then after 'Entropy' and 'Seeing Red'... But as already stated, the events of the last two mentioned episodes do not occur. Therefore no AR and Tara stays alive.) If you want to find out how Buffy and Dawn will react to Spike's departure, read on.
Takes place after 'Normal Again' Absolutely nothing in episodes after that have happened in this story.
Chapter 1: Not A Part Of Her Life
'Not a part of her life, huh! Fine! Then I'll just get out of her bloody life!' Spike thought angrily as he started to pack his things. He was going to leave Sunnydale for good this time. He was sick and tired of being used by the Slayer for sex. He had wanted her to love him, but she didn't. He was a just a sex toy to her. An evil souless sex toy.
When they had kissed for the first time, Spike felt like he was on top of the world. Until she told him that it was a mistake and it would never happen again. But it did. And again she told him that it had meant nothing to her, but it had meant the world to him. She told him that they couldn't be together because he was evil. He told her he could change for her, but she didn't believe him. She hit him and he hit her back. That's when he found out the chip didn't work on Buffy anymore.
He told her that she came back wrong, that maybe she was not a human anymore. It was mean, and he knew it, but he was only repeating the same things that she had said to him. He wanted her to feel hurt the way he had. They started a really big physical fight that ended with her kissing him (not because she loved him like he wanted; she did it to shut him up). They fell down through the building and shagged for the first time.
Spike thought maybe he was getting somewhere, that he was finally reaching her. But he wasn't. He made the mistake of telling her that the only thing better than killing a slayer was shagging one. OK, bad move. But she wasn't exactly saying the nicest things to him either. She told him that she was disgusted with herself for sleeping with him.
Even after he took Dawn to the hospital after Willow almost killed her in a car wreck, she still saw him as a worthless souless being who wasn't good enough to love, but was still good enough to shag while she was invisible. He eventually kicked her out, saying that she was only there because she wasn't there, and that's not the kind of relationship he wanted. And yet they still shagged each other again and again. One time after sex, instead of running away disgusted, they actually started having a nice conversation, until he called her an animal. He didn't really mean to hurt her, but he did.
Soon after that he had seen her at the Bronze standing by herself, just watching her friends. He told her that she belonged him in the dark, and that she didn't belong with them. And he said, "What would they think of you if they knew..." He knew that she wasn't telling her friends about them because she was ashamed of him and thought her friends were going to look down on her. And even if she did learn to love him, she would still end up turning him away because of her friends. He wanted her and was afraid of losing her. Not good excuses, but hey he is a vampire, and his chip now works on Buffy. Instead of telling her that she should be in the dark with him, he could have turned her, forcing her to be in the dark with him. But he didn't.
After Buffy thought she had commited a murder, Buffy wanted to turn herself in. But Spike didn't want her too. He hid the body, and tried to convince her to go to the police. Spike thought he was doing the right thing. He didn't want her to throw her life away, just because of a murder that even if she did commit, was just an accident. She told him that he didn't undserstand, that it was one more dead body to him. He asked her to explain it to him, but instead of explaining, she beat him. She kept punching him in the eye over and over again. When she was done, he could barely open his eye or see. Then she just left him there. If he hadn't have been able to get himself back to his crypt, he would have been dust when the sun came up. And either Buffy didn't think about that or didn't care. (Or she may have rightfully assumed that he was still capable of getting himself back home, but why not better safe than sorry?)
Spike knew that Buffy needed more money to help support herself and Dawn. Spike wanted to help, but it wasn't as if he could go out and get a real job. So he decided to sell demon eggs on the black market. He didn't know that eggs were going to kill a lot of innocent people. Heck he didn't even know that he had to keep the eggs frozen. After Buffy had blown up the bottom level of his crypt, (with the help of her ex-boyfriend Riley, who Spike liked to call Captain Cardboard) she dumped him. But it wasn't because of the eggs. She finally admitted to using him, and said that she could do that anymore because it was killing her, not that she couldn't use him because it was wrong to hurt him that way.
He showed up at Anya and Xander's non-wedding with a date to make Buffy jealous. It worked, but he couldn't help but feel a little bad about hurting her. They actually had a civil conversation there and it looked to Spike, like even if the couldn't be lovers, maybe they could still be friends. But even that hope was shattered in the cemetary. While they were talking Xander and Willow show up, and Buffy tells them that she was only talking with Spike to find out what trouble he was getting himself into. Not only could she not admit to her friends that they had sex, but she didn't even want to be seen being friendly with him.
While Xander and Spike were fighting, Buffy collapsed on the floor due to those nerds making her think she was in the mental hospital. Spike wanted to bring her back to his crypt to help but Xander told him that they would take care of her because "we're her friends". Spike wasn't Buffy's lover or boyfriend; he wasn't even her friend.
But they still needed him to collect the demon the nerds had summoned. After Spike and Xander had the demon tied up in the basement, he went to her room to see her. That was when she told him that he wasn't a part of his life. It hurt him, and that was why he was leaving Sunnydale for good. There was nothing left for him here. Except for Dawn. He would just have to find a way to say good-bye to her without seeing Buffy again. It was just too painful for him.
Author's Note: As you can see, not much happens in this chapter. Basically it's a review of some events in Season 6. These events are going through Spike's mind as he packs. That's one of the main reasons it's a little one sided in Spike's favor. Even though it mentions some of the things Spike shouldn't have done, it obviously makes the reader feel more for Spike. I think that both Spike and Buffy did some bad things to each other last season, I don't really know who I think was worse. (Well, I thought it was Buffy until 'Normal Again', but then after 'Entropy' and 'Seeing Red'... But as already stated, the events of the last two mentioned episodes do not occur. Therefore no AR and Tara stays alive.) If you want to find out how Buffy and Dawn will react to Spike's departure, read on.