Clarity
Chapter one: Apathy.
T: I should probably wait until I've finished posting Afterlife before I start putting this one up, but one: I can't wait any longer to see what people think of this and two: I'm only not posting Afterlife because my beta is busy…anyway moving on! This is another AU fic with this what if at its heart: What if Subaru did not meet Seishrio at all? The characters are a little OOC but hopefully not enough to put people off. Chaosdragon, if you happen upon this and wish to Beta it let me know, though I promise I'll only start sending you chapters once we're done with Afterlife!
Not mine. You will need an intimate understanding of Tokyo Babylon for this fic and there will be some vague X spoilers in here at various points. Also ANGST warning but then with Subaru what can you expect?
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I am the 13th head of the Sumeragi clan.
Once I was also Subaru Sumeragi, but it's been so long since I've felt like that boy…felt like something other than Obbasan's puppet…
I suppose it is unfair of me to say that and yet…
Ever since I was nine she has dictated my every move, even going so far as to bring me to meetings that should have been for her eyes alone.
Her reasoning had been that Tokyo was a city fraught with danger, a city where anything could happen to a child who was heir to such a prestigious family as the Sumeragi's
It sounds odd but I think that something was meant to happen to me, that by keeping me close Obaasan has insured that my fate has been stolen away.
Without fate life becomes uncertain and the necessity for clarity, for a clear path amid the mist, becomes a driving force in your life.
I was so small, so naïve, when my fate was taken from me and thus the only path I could take that might offer me that clarity was Obbasan's path:
Become a strong head for the clan, study hard but never neglect the duty and become strong in yourself so that you might win in the Divine battle of 1999.
Since my tenth birthday I have lived that life, day by day, month by moth, year by year and slowly it has taken the heart of me…
Slowly the man that Subaru might have been had faded away and then simply vanished.
The last essence of Subaru to leave was my sister, Hokuto, who was as my mirror in appearance and yet as my opposite in personality.
She had tried often to open me out of my protective shell and yet though I had worn her bright outfits, though I had eaten the exotic recipes she had feed me and though I had dated the many men and women she had sent my way, it has all simply been as a farce to me.
Beneath the multi tonal shell of the clothes I was still grey and uninteresting, no matter the complexity of the ingredients of the food it tasted always flat and no matter how beautiful my bed fellow they remained always some distant fascination for me.
She found me one happiness, long ago, that joy stolen away from me by Obbasan's oppressive rule…stolen away not long after Hokuto herself had gone from my life.
Despite my almost complete apathy towards her and the life she made me lead Hokuto stayed close by my side until five years before 1999.
She told me that she had fallen in love with one who was fated to be my enemy and that though she had thought to always be at my side this love had made such a thing impossible.
She kissed me goodbye and then she was gone, taking with her the one last vestige of who I had been.
Leaving me no more than the leader of the Sumeragi clan…
No more than another cow to slaughter for the sake of this worthless world that we live in.
After Hokuto had gone apathy became my friend and though I performed still my duty as an Onmyoji I learned not to care, learned that it was easier simply to shut off.
As the year of 1999 came to pass Obaasan sent me to me my fellow cattle.
In the end it seems but one other seal has emerged from the woodwork and after introducing myself both to her and Hinoto I make my excuses and begin the walk back to my apartment.
My eyes catch the soft pink of a cherry blossom floating in the air and I watch it dance a while in the wind before I decide to take a detour through Ueno Park.
The enigmatic beauty of the sakura tree is a tainted thing always in my eyes.
For it is supposedly a representation of my 'enemy' in this war…of everything I should hate.
Sakurazukamori.
It is a name that has been as a thing to loath and fear for me since childhood and yet as time has passed it has become as insignificant to me as everything else.
After all, how can I hate one whom I have never met, whom I do not understand but for the little that Obaasan has told me?
I take a seat opposite the tallest of the cherry trees and pull free a cigarette with the intention of lighting it myself, however, some other individual offers me their lighter instead.
I take this offer and then glance up to take in my companion.
He is smiling and there is something to it that I can not trust…that unnerves me.
The discomfort is not aided by the fact that his eyes are hidden behind a pair of dark sunglasses,
"Thank you." I reply after a moment.
His smile stretches a little so that it becomes threatening and yet when he replies,
"You are welcome." The words are a gentle politeness that is adverse to the smile.
He goes to leave and without thought I stop him, my fingers ceasing hard to his wrist as he turns to face me again.
His hidden gaze is as a fire on the skin of fingers and yet I ignore this and inform him,
"My name is Subaru Sumeragi,"
It is the first that I have introduced myself as such in years, the first that I have used simply my name rather than including my title.
The stranger leases my grip and his smile blanking again he says,
"I am Seishrio Sakurazuka," A pause and then the enquiry of, "Would you like to go for ice cream, Sumeragi-san?"
It should be an odd enquiry, especially coming from this individual and yet, to me, it makes perfect sense that he should ask, that I should agree without hesitation to the request.
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This room is dark and silent but for the constant beep of a heart monitor, indeed sometimes he comes here simply for the peace it offers.
Today, though, he has come to talk to the conscious occupant of the room.
"Kizuki-san."
"I've told you before that you may call me Hokuto, Seishrio-chan." She replies as she switches on the light at her side.
He can see again the likeness between her and her brother, a likeness that must have been all the more acute when her hair had been shorter and when her brother was growing still into his rare masculine beauty.
"I saw someone today who could have been your reflection."
"He is dead then." She states, the words deadpan despite the emotion clear in her eyes.
"No, he is not."
"He is your enemy, Seishrio-chan both in this Divine war and in blood also. Why would you allow him to live?"
"Because he intrigues me…because beneath the hard antipathy that is his character is some indefinable thing that I yearn to understand."
"I would ask you not to hurt him or toy with his emotions and yet my words would fall useless.
"You do not care if I hate you, after all."
Silence a moment and then because he is a curious individual he enquires,
"Why do you insist on an informality between us, Hokuto-chan?"
"Because you are the only one in this place who has not lied to me, Seishrio-chan, the only one who has not asked what my husband see for you in the future."
"Do you not wonder why that is, Hokuto-chan?"
"I supposed that it was that you did not care what your future was or what fate had set out for you.
"That all you cared for was that you were amused with life and that amusement would see you though."
"All true and a clear show of your wonderfully perceptive mind, however, there is another reason that you have not thought of
"That I already know my fate."
"Is that truth, Seishrio-chan or is that another of you illusions?"
"Ah, but life is an illusion, Hokuto-chan, I simply play along."
"Seishrio-chan."
He smiles then and removing his sunglasses remarks,
"My mother told me that my fate was to die at the hands of the one I loved beyond all others."
"An odd fate for an emotionless assassin is it not?"
"Perhaps." His smile fades before he states, "Only time will tell."
Silence and again there is something niggling at him, an enquiry he makes always when he talks to Hokuto-chan,
"How is your beloved husband today?"
"Sad. The other Kamui shall awaken soon and the world will fall into darkness."
"So there is still an easy victory for us on the horizon?"
"Without anyone to call him back the Kamui of the Dragons of heaven shall remain forever in the safety of his heart and though the remaining seals shall fight valiantly it shall be in vain in the end."
"Does he believe still that this is not how it should be?"
She raises her delicate hands and removing her gloves she places her now bear skin to that of her husband's forehead.
This process he has seen many times before and it is the only reason that Hokuto lives still, the only reason that she has been brought into a war that should have no concern for her.
This Kakyo had known long before Kanoe had come to claim his services and thus he had requested that his wife use what little gift she had to tie their essences together, to ensure that once he was again comatose Hokuto and Hokuto alone could perceive his dreams.
She leases contact a few moments later and placing the gloves upon her hands she says,
"Apparently something that should have occurred many years ago did not and thus a kindred spirit for Kamui had been stolen away along with any hope of bringing him free of his slump."
"Of course you know what that 'something' is, yet I understand your reluctance to tell me.
"I am the Sakurazukamori, after all."
He stays only a little after that and then he allows her the privacy she has come to expect, allows her to wallow in the darkness of her husband's world.
He finds a victim for the tree and then comes to the conclusion that it might be nice to get to know his enemy.
That it would be perfect for him to cage that rare beauty before he shattered it completely.
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T: Well at least Sei-chan is happy! I'll be posting the next chapter tomorrow hopefully so until then R+R and if you're feeling particularly nice send me fan art…I'll write you a little thank you fic if you do!