Just borrowing. This is an old story I found from a Yahoo challenge.
Senior Citizen Ladies' Night at 'THE BOOTY CALL'
"You know, Granny, the opposite of loneliness is not togetherness. It is intimacy," Lula said.
Sitting at the table in The Booty Call', the Trenton male dance club, Grandma Mazur had a disbelieving look on her face, "At our age who cares about intimacy, we just want to get some."
"Yeah!" came out of the mouths of Mavis, Margie, Francie, and Louise, all friends of Ednas from the Cut n' Curl. "We want some," they began chanting banging their beer cans off the table.
Stephanie looked pleadingly at Ranger standing below the stage. Rangeman was hired to provide extra security for Senior Citizen Ladies Night at the strip club. The first two monthly events proved too much for the Trenton police. Eddie received a black eye. Carl a sprained knee. Big Dog got whacked by a flying beer bottle (Now they serve cans and plastic cups on Senior's Night). A few others sustained various injuries as the police were called when the old ladies started to riot because the male dancers kept their G-strings on and stormed the stage numerous times. Morelli tried to assist, but he was kneed a couple of times. He was picking up as much overtime as possible since he still had three pending paternity suits awaiting DNA results. Another three had been settled. Joe now has three young daughters the lab results verified. The other three pending were girls also. One 7 years of age to a woman working at the button factory and twins to a stripper. Now, he had to begin paying out child support. To make matters worse, somehow a photograph of Joe with his pants down in the library with an assistant librarian ended up on the front page of 'The Trenton Times'. The rumor mill by way of the Cut n' Curl indicated Joe has been having problems in bed since Grandma Bella put the 'eye' on him. Needless to say, Stephanie and Joe were history. She and Ranger had been dating and having slumber parties at each other's apartments.
At Sunday dinner at the Plum's, Ellen told Stephanie she had to accompany Grandma to 'The Booty Call'. She didn't want to see her mother on the news again being hauled off to the police station like she had the previous two months at Senior Ladies' Night. If she wanted pineapple upside down cake ever again, then Grandma had better stay out of trouble. Frank had pulled out a one-way ticket to Greenland because Ellen cried and emptied every liquor bottle in the house that last two times. Just in case the inevitable happened even though Ranger hoped they were prepared for the onslaught of old ladies, he put Ella on stand-by with her baking pans ready. His Babe was having pineapple upside cake one way or the other! For extra back-up, Stephanie dragged Lula, Connie, and Mary Lou along.
The Beauty Shop Brigade held bake sales in front of Pleasure Treasures, car washes in the Cut n' Curl parking lot, slots winnings, and even an escort service to earn extra money to give 'The Booty Call' dancers on top of their Social Security. The lemonade stands around Trenton were shut down when it was discovered the homemade concoction was spiked with vodka. Ranger didn't complain too much when Stephanie drove three couples on escort service dates to the drive-in for a double feature. The group rented a big passenger van from Mooner and picked up pizzas and beer at Pino's on the way. Before the end of the first movie, Grandma, her friends, and dates were asleep, Stephanie and Ranger necked in the front seat.
Lester, after speaking with a couple of the dancers and discovering how much money they made on these nights, was thinking of dancing at the next Senior Ladies' Night. A few tipsy patrons even offered Ranger a couple of hundred bucks to take his pants down off and whip that package around! The male dancers started on time, Thank God. Rocco, the owner, made his biggest profits during the month on these nights. It was standing room only. He wanted to start having them twice a month but the city couldn't handle the horny little old ladies roaming the streets the days following their night out. Petty crime was rampant, particularly shop lifting at Pleasure Treasures. Instead, he started the show 2 hours earlier and making it a four hour male review with an intermission.
Panties with phone numbers written in permanent magic marker started to fly along with money bills when Bronco Billy the Cowboy opened the show dancing in leather chaps. Stephanie thought her Grandma and the ladies would pass out as his ass cheeks were right above their first row table. Pete the Pirate, Stan the Plumber, Lucky Lou the Gambler, and Fabian the Fireman all danced the first half.
Stephanie kept glancing at Ranger licking her lips and he mouthed her back, "Playing with fire, Babe."
Even in the low lights, Stephanie could see the lust in Ranger's eyes when she tossed her Victoria's Secret thong his way with her cell phone number on it.
At the intermission, Ranger whispered, "Babe, can I see you outside?"
Immediately, Stephanie found herself up against a wall around the corner, "Babe."
At the start of the second half, hopefully, no one could see her after glow in the turned down lights.
The show ended with dancers dressed as Batman, Superman, Aqua Man, and Spiderman bearing it all for the wild little old ladies. That Batman was no competition for Stephanie's own Batman. Ranger chased him away from Stephanie when the super heroes danced in the audience. Lula and the girls went ballistic and 'Booed' Ranger. How much money Grandma passed out Stephanie didn't even know, she lost count.
Once all the dancers made their final bows and right before the lights came back on, Ranger and the Merry Men pulled on a rope. A huge net went up to catch the school of surging sex-crazed old ladies making their way to the stage. Rangeman vehicles were out back to whisk the dancers away to their vehicles parked down the highway. The police waiting in riot gear weren't even needed except to rescue Lester, who they were chasing in the parking lot screaming, "You got to put out."
Grandma was safely deposited at the Plum's and Ellen handed Stephanie a freshly made pineapple upside down cake.
While Stephanie and Ranger were drying off after dessert since both were sticky messes, "Next month I'm asking my Mom for tiramisu."
"Babe."