My take on the four weeks (according to the book, Torchwood Archives) Ianto spent on suspension following Cyberwoman. I intend to cover all points of view but focussing on Ianto and Jack.

Suspension

Week One

It was the most difficult decision he had had to make in a long time and it was preying on his mind. What to do with Ianto Jones?

Jack Harkness parked the SUV and walked into the empty Hub. He had dropped Ianto at his flat, only stopping long enough to ensure he was inside and had taken the sedative Owen had prescribed. The boy had been exhausted, dead on his feet and incapable of doing anything other than falling into bed. He would sleep for the next twelve hours and Jack hoped it would help him.

If only there was as simple a solution to his future, thought Jack, hanging up his greatcoat. He glanced through the folder on the top of his in-tray. Toshiko had completed all the immediate tasks in covering up the deaths of Dr Tanizaki and Annie Bennett. Gwen had been round to Jubilee Pizza and administered the Retcon to the manager and other workers and squared the Holiday Inn where Tanizaki had been staying. Owen had dismantled the cyber conversion unit and made all safe in the basement. Jack was pleased with what they had done and put the folder back on the desk.

He looked at the desk's other contents but couldn't settle to any of it, he was still too wired. He dropped into his quarters and changed into an old T-shirt and some torn jeans he kept for dirty jobs then walked to the basement. Inside, the room was much as he remembered it. Owen had moved some of the equipment but the floor was still pooled with blood and the cyberwoman – Jack refused to think of her as human – lay where she had fallen. Owen had put Annie and Tanizaki into cold storage for later disposal but the Cyberwoman would be incinerated along with all the equipment that had kept her alive.

Taking refuge in physical labour, Jack set to and hosed down the floor and walls, washing away the blood in the room. He ran the hose over the Cyberwoman too but only because she was on the floor. Next he went through the room's contents. He piled the equipment to be incinerated on the conversion unit, putting aside only that which was bog-standard stuff that could be safely used again. It was then that he found the photographs of Ianto and the human Lisa and he stopped and looked through them, seeing another side of his colleague. The Ianto he knew had never smiled so broadly or allowed his emotions to show so clearly. He had been closed and withdrawn with Jack and the rest of the team.

And no one had cared, least of all Jack.

The Torchwood leader put the photographs and the other personal possessions – a book, a bottle of perfume, a few knick-knacks – into a box. Maybe Ianto would want them, maybe not, but he would be given the choice. Finally, Jack lifted the Cyberwoman's body onto the unit and balanced it on top of the rest of the equipment. Now he had seen the photographs of her before she had been converted it was harder to regard her only as a metal monster; her humanity was more obvious. He realised that if that was the case for him it must have been doubly so for Ianto. A sobering thought.

Shaking off the feeling, Jack pushed the unit and its contents through the double doors and into the corridor. It was hard work but he welcomed it and viewed the sweat coursing between his shoulder blades and down his chest as a benefit. Luckily the incinerator was on this level so he was able to just push his load along the corridor and round a couple of corners. He was panting hard when he finally got the stuff into position close to the maw of the furnace. He checked the dials and was pleased to see Owen had fired it up as he'd asked; the temperature was almost high enough to melt the cyber equipment but not quite.

Jack left the stuff where it was and went back to the basement. He checked it again, minutely, to make sure nothing had escaped his attention the first time. There were a couple of nuts and bolts which he picked up but nothing more. The room was wet from the soaking he'd given it earlier and would take days to dry out completely. He propped the doors open as he left, to help the drying process. He took the box of mementoes with him and placed them at the bottom of the steps leading to the upper levels.

Back near the incinerator, he checked the temperature again. Seeing it was hot enough, he picked up the Cyberwoman's body and fed it into the heart of the fire. He kept the door open and watched as the flames licked around it and then devoured it. The implants melted too, into a liquid that then evaporated. It was not until all trace of the body had disappeared that he started feeding in the smaller pieces of cyber equipment. He stayed watching as it was consumed, so close to the heat that the skin on his face and chest began to singe but he didn't move. It had to be destroyed and he was determined to watch it.

-ooOoo-

It was the day after the night before, that's how Owen Harper thought of it. He had come in to work knowing what faced him: clearing up the basement after the Cyberwoman had been let loose. He was not looking forward to it.

"Owen, at last," said Jack, standing with arms folded across his chest. "I need your help downstairs."

"What about the others? Why's it always me?"

"Stop whining. I did most of it last night, there's just the unit itself and a couple of heavy items I couldn't lift on my own. It won't take long."

"Oh, okay." Owen dumped his bag by his desk and threw his jacket over the back of the chair. Jack must have worked hard if he'd cleared so much of the basement, probably pushing himself to forget the events of the night. Jack turned to lead the way to the basement and Owen followed. They didn't speak again until they were nearing the incinerator.

"What have you done about the Teaboy?" asked Owen.

"Nothing yet. He's coming in this afternoon to hear my decision."

Jack's answer was curt but he was not as angry as he had been. The few hours since he'd taken Ianto home as well as finding the photos had given him a distance from the events, helped him put them into perspective. He had not forgiven Ianto for the betrayal of himself and the rest of the team but he felt he understood a little more of the boy's reasons. Ianto had loved the woman so deeply that he had laid everything on the line in the vain hope that he could bring her back. Jack believed that Ianto had not understood the threat she posed, to him and to the world in general.

"I know what he did was inexcusable but …. Well, I think I understand why he did it." Owen felt he had to say it, in some weird way he owed it to Ianto.

"You do?"

"Yeah. Look, I was bloody terrified by that thing but he obviously saw it as his girlfriend still. He's so fucked up. Canary Wharf must have done that to him 'cos he was okay before, according to the medical records." Owen had gone over them minutely the previous night, thinking he may have missed something. "He should have a second chance."

"I see." Jack made no further comment as he walked to the incinerator and checked the dials and was pleased to see the temperature was still high. "It's just this to get in." He gestured to the conversion unit and the three pieces of other equipment balanced on it.

The two men worked in silence, hefting the heavy items into the furnace and waiting as each one melted to nothing. Jack stood close to the door again while Owen took refuge further back. When all had been completed, they turned and made for the upper levels.

"I'd like to take a look at the pizza girl, see how the brain transplant was done," said Owen, leading the way up the stairs.

"Okay. But I want the enhancements out of the doctor first. They have to be incinerated too."

"There may be something we could learn from them. Maybe …"

"No! The danger is too great, they go the same way as the rest of it." Jack was adamant and Owen recognised he'd not be able to change his mind. They'd butted heads often enough for them both to recognise one another's limits.

They had reached the main level of the Hub and Owen stopped to look at Jack. "Are they really that dangerous?"

"Yes." Jack carried on to his office. "Put the enhancements on my desk, Owen, all of them."

It was early afternoon. Owen and Toshiko were out following up a Rift spike and Jack and Gwen were in the boardroom sorting out the paperwork for the Cyberwoman Incident, as Gwen called it, and checking all had been covered up adequately. Papers were spread out and they had almost finished when the door alarm sounded. Jack was immediately on his feet and standing at the glass wall looking down. He was expecting Ianto – and there he was.

Gwen stood a few feet from Jack and watched them both. Ianto's hesitant steps into the Hub and Jack's rigid stance, his arms crossed over his chest. They looked at one another and Jack nodded slightly which Ianto mirrored then went on up to the work area. Gwen was not sure how she felt about the night's events. She had been petrified yet she found it hard to blame Ianto. She saw faults on all sides and had told Jack so. Ianto had kept a dangerous Cyberwoman in the basement and put them in danger but she and the others had never tried to get close to him, to know what was going on in his mind or what he was feeling. She knew less about him than every other member of the team, including the enigmatic Jack!

-ooOoo-

Ianto felt odd being back in the Hub. He had been ordered to come and see Jack, to find out his fate. He didn't much care what Jack decided as long as he could stay with Torchwood. It was all he knew and he would lose so much if Jack decided he was a lost cause and Retconned him. Ianto was prepared to endure his punishment for the chance of staying on.

Seeing Jack was in the Boardroom with Gwen, Ianto decided to make himself useful while he was waiting. He picked up a black sack and started clearing away the rubbish. The pizza box gave him a start, thinking back to Annie and what had happened to her. Seemed the rest of the team had no qualms about continuing to use the same place. He was in the medical bay clearing there when Jack appeared.

"Ianto, leave that. Come with me." He walked off and Ianto followed, tidily placing the black sack in a corner. When they were both in the office, Jack pointed to a chair, "Sit down."

Ianto sat down and let his gaze meet Jack's. The two men looked at one another for a moment but then Ianto looked away, dropping his eyes to his hands resting in his lap. Jack was not happy, Ianto could tell from the coldness in his boss's eyes and the set features of his face. The cut and bruised lip reminded Ianto of the punch he'd thrown and of what he'd said. He expected Jack to kick him out.

"Thanks for coming in," began Jack. "We have to decide your future. Have you thought any more about what you want to do?"

"I'd like to stay, if you'll have me." Ianto's voice was soft and Jack had to strain to hear him. "I'm sorry for … everything."

"I see. Why should I let you stay?" Jack had already decided on a suspension. All the others, individually, had come to him and told him to give the boy another chance which had surprised but pleased him. It accorded with his own feelings and spoke well for the future. If they could forgive him now it would be easier to meld him back into the team when the time came.

"I have nothing else," admitted Ianto. "Torchwood is my life. I'll never do anything like this again." He lifted his gaze and met Jack's gaze. "If you let me stay, I'll never go behind your back again." He let his eyes drop back to a scrutiny of his hands.

Jack let the silence grow. "Okay. You can remain a member of Torchwood but you are hereby on suspension. I want you to get your life together again, get over your grief and find a way to face the future."

"Thank you. How long am I suspended for?" Ianto was relieved but anxious. He had no life outside Torchwood and dreaded spending time in his own company with just memories and regrets.

"I don't know. We'll take it a week at a time. When – if – I feel you're ready to return I'll let you know."

Ianto nodded. "I understand. Do you want my ID back?"

"No, you can keep it. You armed?"

"No." Ianto rarely carried a gun, picking one up only when he was required to back up a operation. "Should I go home now?"

"I think that would best." Jack stood and Ianto rose too. "Before you go," said Jack, "I found these, thought you might want to keep them. If not I'll dispose of them for you." He held out the box of photos and other trinkets.

Ianto held out his hands automatically but when he saw the contents he let his hands fall again. "I don't want them. Just get rid of them."

"Okay." Jack put the box down again. "I suggest you get away for a few days. Go and see your mother or sister perhaps." He had read Ianto's personnel file again, going over it with a fine-tooth comb wanting to find out more about the boy. The family details were all there but he could not recall Ianto himself ever having said anything about them or taking time off to visit them.

Ianto looked at him then, caught and held his gaze. The look was challenging as if to say, 'About time you decided to find out more about me'. "I'll think about it," he said eventually and looked away.

"I'll call you next week," said Jack, indicating it was time for Ianto to leave.

Ianto nodded and walked away. He straightened his back and held his head high; he was going to show Jack Harkness and the rest of the team that he had learnt from his mistake and that he could be a valued colleague again. It was not until he had left the Tourist Office that the threatened tears fell. He wiped them away impatiently.

-ooOoo-

Life in the Hub continued. The four remaining team members were kept busy with Weevil sightings and one or two other incursions. They split Ianto's tasks among themselves and got on with them uncomplaining for the most part. Only Owen wondered how it happened that he had ended up with all the dirty jobs. In some ways, they barely missed Ianto. He had been so retiring he had made little mark on their day-to-day lives.

Of them all it was Jack who missed him most. Ianto had been a kind of personal assistant, taking care of the administrative tasks that Jack loathed. While Jack used Gwen and Toshiko for some of these, they didn't have the same attention to detail and needed more careful explanations of what was required; Ianto had just got on with it. Jack also missed his physical presence, the quiet figure in a suit that ghosted through his vision at certain times of the day. It surprised Jack just how much impact Ianto had had on his working life.

One night, when it was quiet and he was alone, Jack took out the box of mementoes that Ianto had rejected. Jack spread the photos out on his desk and looked at them. There was nothing to say where or when then had been taken but Jack thought he could detect a time sequence and rearranged them accordingly. He was looking at a young man who was happy, in love and at ease with himself. That young man had become the Ianto Jack knew but he was almost unrecognisable. The easy smile, the light in the eyes had all but disappeared. And all because of Torchwood One's stupidity in giving the Cybermen and the Daleks a way into this world. Jack carefully put the photos together and placed them in an envelope which he slipped into his desk drawer. The rest could go but he would not destroy these; they would be a reminder of what Ianto had been and what Jack hoped he could be again.

-ooOoo-

Away from Torchwood, Ianto was at a loss. He used his first couple of days of suspension to catch up on sleep and spent his few waking hours watching bad television programmes. He wallowed in self-pity and hurt and spoke to no one. By the fourth day, he had had enough and his natural common sense came to the fore. He spent the whole day cleaning and sorting the flat and packed up and put away all Lisa's remaining possessions and the photograph albums of their holidays. In this way he was able to parcel up the memories of Lisa and what he had done and push them to the back of his mind. He was still aware of them but they did not prey on him so much.

It was on day five that the feelings of betrayal and inadequacy assailed him once more. With nothing to occupy him physically he was left with the memories of Lisa, of Canary Wharf, of his struggle to keep Lisa alive and the results. He was disgusted with how he had acted and he broke down and wept for hours. Later, he looked back on that as the turning point in his recovery. Having accepted responsibility for his actions, he felt able to move forward again. He still hurt, still wanted to hurt in a perverse kind of a way, but he could see the light – however dim - at the end of the tunnel. The next day, recalling Jack's advice, he called his mother and arranged to visit and stay overnight. It was a pleasant trip to Newport and his mother didn't ask too many questions, just made him his favourite foods and cosseted him. He came back feeling better for the time away.