Disclaimer: Don't own Gundam or AFI. God I wish I owed AFI *drools* Davey... This is a little song fiction that was inspired thanks to the wonderfulness of AFI.
--
THE BOY WHO DESTROYED THE WORLD
Once there was a boy who had a vibrant glow,
but as it goes, someone took it from him.
One day through the rain I heard him meekly moan,
he said, "Will you wrap your arms around me as I'm falling?"
Remember when, remember when we were all so beautiful?
But since then we've lost our glow.
They said it hurt their eyes but he would never know
that they were filled with regret as their own dissipated.
He said "I now feel more desperately alone,
even though they wrapped their arms around me as I'm fallen."
Remember when, remember when we were all so beautiful?
But since then we've lost our glow.
They said it hurt their eyes,
but he would never know that they were claiming regret as their own...
as their own dissipated.
--
Once there was a boy who had a vibrant glow...
Mina sat at her desk. A headache had started to creep through her mind, causing her to drop her pen in frustration. She sighed. This constant work was taking it's toil, and so was the rain outside. She glanced out the window for a moment, watching the rivers stream down the driveway. "It's been raining for so long..." she sighed again.
Suddenly something caught her eye. "Who?" A shadowy figure on the doorstep? She walked quickly over to the door and opened it. It was gone... but had left something. It was moving! She picked up the parcel, carefully unwrapping it. "A child..."
The little thing was sound asleep, drenched from the rain. She quickly unwrapped it from the soaked blanket, wrapping it again in her scarf. She looked at the little thing, curled up in her arms. Why had that person left the little thing here? This wasn't exactly a place to be leaving a baby. It's not as if this was an orphanage... or even a regular home.
She held the baby close to her and walked down the dark hallway of the house. She came to that familiar door, yet it still sent a chill up her spine. Knocking gently, she cracked open the door. "Doctor?"
"Yes?"
"Sir, some one... left something for you." Mina walked in slowly, showing the busy professor the small infant.
"Damn that woman." The professor seemed quite annoyed rather than shocked or upset. "She's given him to me much to early. Hm... Just get rid of him."
"Get rid of him, sir?" Mina looked at the little thing. Get rid of him?? What did the doctor mean?
"Give him to the orphanage, throw him in the river, do something, just get rid of him!"
"Yes, sir." She walked out of the room quickly. Kill him? The poor, defenseless baby? The doctor sounded like this was planned...
She could feel the baby stirring.
One day through the rain I heard him meekly moan,
he said, "Will you wrap your arms around me as I'm falling?"
He reached out for her, his tiny fingers grasping for her. The little infant started to cry. She sighed. What was going to happen to him? She couldn't just... let the poor thing die. She clasp the baby to her chest, feeling his little fingers grasping onto her clothing. "Shhh... It's alright." She bobbed him up and down gently, listening as he slowly stopped crying. "I'll take care of you."
Mina carefully laid the baby down and put on her coat. She picked him back up, hearing him coo with delight at the attention he was getting. She snuggled him closely inside her jacket. "I wonder what I'm going to do with you, little one."
The child babbled something. Only baby noises.
"Lets go home then," she sighed. What was she getting herself into? A baby? What kind of trouble would this get her into...
--
He grasped at her. "Momma! Momma!"
"Oh, my little Tori." Bird. She had named him bird, since that's what she felt he was. She had found him soaked on the doctor's doorstep, now he was like a tiny bird, helpless and struggling. Mina picked him up off the floor and held him close to her. His little fingers entangling themselves in her clothing. "My little bird."
--
Tori grabbed onto the end of her t-shirt, holding on for dear life. "Please, momma, don't go."
"Honey, it's work. Mommy has to go to work."
"But... that's doctor... he's scary!" She laughed at the little boy, but inside she felt the same was. He was frightening... especially with his wishes for the destruction of this little boy.
"Don't worry, darling, mommy will be just fine." She could see the tears welling up in his little eyes. They were like pools... deep pools. He was a beautiful boy, her beautiful boy. But then again, he wasn't. He was just discarded.
"But momma..." He had started to cry, the tears streaming down his face.
"Honey..."
"No." He said quickly, wiping the tears away. "I shouldn't cry."
She looked shocked. Her little boy, not cry? "Who told you that?"
"The doctor."
--
"I told you to get rid of him."
"But doctor..."
"What do you think you'd accomplish by keeping him?"
She wondered what he meant. Was the point of saving this little boy accomplishing something? No. Not in her mind. It was to save him, that was all. "Nothing."
"Well, that's exactly what you're going to accomplish by keeping him."
The doctor made Tori sound like a stray dog. "He's not just some toy you can discard," she said quietly to herself.
"No, he's a child you should have discarded."
--
His little hand felt perfect in hers. "My perfect little boy." She smiled at him sweetly.
He buried his face into her skirt, hiding the blush that had risen across his face. "Momma?"
"Yes, honey?" She tussled his hair a little and laughed.
"I love you."
She picked him up and he wrapped his arms around her neck and hugged her tightly. Love. She was happy he could feel such things... She almost prided herself for saving him from those kind of things when she took him in. She was glad she had saved him from a fate far worse.
--
"Fate. Humph." The doctor scoffed at her. "You really think his face will be any better now that you've babied him and raised him?"
"Yes."
"Well, I suppose you'd believe that kind of illusion, wouldn't you?" he smirked.
"Illusion?"
"Ever wonder why the boy was brought here in the first place?"
"Yes."
"He's going to be a great man one day."
"I know that. I'll make him a wonderful and loving man. I'll be proud," she said solemnly.
"Oh, no, my dear," he snickered, "He'll be the exact opposite."
--
"Tori, promise me something?"
"Yes, momma, anything." He was lying on her, his head on her chest.
"I don't want you to talk to the doctor ever again."
"But momma..."
"Promise me, Tori."
"Yes, momma."
--
She grabbed his wrist and pulled him out of the house, and into the car. "You didn't listen!"
"But momma..."
"Tori, you promised!"
"Momma, he said it was what I had to do! He said I was born..."
"All of that was a lie!" Tori went silent. He wasn't used to Mina yelling at him... she was always so gentle and kind. She never raised her voice, why now?
He felt the tears roll down his cheeks. No, he told himself, you can't cry, it's not right. The doctor said so... momma said not to listen to him though! Who was right?
She stopped the car and grabbed him, holding him tightly to her. "You're my baby, not his!"
--
"Momma?"
"Come here, boy."
"No!" Tori inched backwards, afraid of the older man.
"That woman put the worse things in your head." He waved his hand, annoyed at the boy.
"She said you lie."
"I do... sometimes." The older man tilted his head slightly. The boy had stopped moving backwards and stood his ground. Brave little boy.
"I still don't trust you!"
"Good, by the time we're finished you won't trust anyone, Tori."
--
"Mom?"
"Yes, honey?"
"Why can't I go with you to work anymore?"
"I don't want you around the doctor anymore. Plus, you've gotten more school work to do now that you're older. You need more time to do it." She was standing at the kitchen counter, cutting vegetables quickly.
"But mom, I want to go."
"Honey, please, don't argue..."
"The doctor isn't as bad as you say he is!"
The knife slipped. The blood ran gently onto the counter.
--
"Ms. Mina..."
"Doctor."
"What brings you here today? Well, other than your usual duties of work, that is."
"Where is my son?"
"Who?"
"Tori."
"I don't know. You should keep better tabs on the boy."
"Don't play with me, doctor."
He laughed uncomfortably. "I can see you're not going to believe me, Ms. Mina."
"Doctor, where is Tori?"
The man slowly turned to a door, opening it. A young boy walked out, his motion fluid... like he was hardly even trying to walk.
"Tori!" Mina rushed over to him, attempting to throw her arms around him.
The doctor stopped her. "I wouldn't suggest that."
The boy looked at the doctor. "Who is this?" His voice... it was cold and distant. It didn't sound happy anymore. Not like the Tori that Mina had raised.
"Tori?"
"Oh, no, this isn't Tori any longer, Mina, I'm sorry." The doctor displayed a crooked smile.
"You bastard!" Mina went to grab the doctor, but Heero grabbed her instead, pushing her against the wall, his gun placed conveniently at her heart.
"Doctor?"
"Kill her."
"Mission accepted." The boy's finger tensed on the trigger.
"His new name, Mina, is Heero Yuy."
--
Heero burst out of the dream in a cold sweat. Sobs rattled through his body, his bare skin clinging to the sheets that he was under. He curled his knees up underneath him and sobbed, pushing the thought of the dream out of his head.
"Heero?"
He could feel Trowa's hand rubbing his back lightly. Heero must have woken him up.
"Don't touch me!" Heero moved away, still shaking from the dream.
"Heero..." Trowa sat up slowly, wrapping his arms around the shaken boy's shoulders. "You had the dream again, didn't you?"
"Yes..." Heero uncurled himself and fell into Trowa's arms. Trowa laid back down slowly, allowing Heero to cry on his chest.
"Was it the same woman again?"
"Yes." Heero continued to sob, holding onto Trowa for dear life.
Trowa gently cleared away Heero's bangs, wiping the dream-induced sweat from his brow. "Did you ask Dr. J about that yet?"
"No..." Heero took in a deep breath, attempting to stop his crying.
"You really should." Trowa kissed his forehead gently. "But until you do, I'm right here when you wake up like this, okay?"
"Thank you, Trowa." He had stopped crying but was still clinging to him tightly. Trowa gently ran his hand across Heero's hair. Heero looked up at him.
Trowa but his hand on the side of his face and bent in, kissing him gently on the lips. "Would you please just talk to Dr. J tomorrow?"
"I will." Heero kissed him back, sighing. "I'll ask him about it all."
--
Heero walked into Dr. J's lab. He looked around, but couldn't see the doctor anywhere. Heero walked over to the doctor's desk and sat down. "How am I going to ask him?" Heero sighed. He wondered who this woman in his dream was... who Mina was.
He cracked open the bottom drawer of his desk, revealing some files. There was nothing better to do than look at some of them, wait for Dr. J to come back. He glanced through some of the files. Heero picked up one of them. A piece of paper suddenly slipped out, falling onto the floor. He bent over and picked up the paper, finding it a photograph.
"Mina..." It was that woman... holding a little boy. A little boy with brown hair... blue pools for eyes... "Me?"
"Put that away." Heero saw a hand come over his shoulder and grasp the picture. "Who said you could go through my things?" Dr. J took the photo and shoved it in a folder, then threw it back into the drawer. "What possessed you to look through those files?"
"Who is Mina, Dr. J?" Heero asked, his voice remaining in his monotone.
"Mina?"
"Don't act as if you don't know." Coldness swept through Heero's voice.
"I wasn't expecting you to find out."
"I wouldn't have if it weren't for those dreams." Heero shuddered. So something could pierce his heart of stone... something other than Trowa. He remembered the boy's promise and wanted to smile.
"So she's invaded your dreams, has she?"
"Who is she, Dr. J?"
"An old assistant of mine," a thin smile pierced his lips. "She was the one who found you, Mr. Yuy. I assured her your life would be better if she just killed you while you were only a child. She refused to, raised you, and she allowed me to turn you into what you are now."
"Where is she?"
"I have no idea."
Heero pulled out his gun, aiming it right for Dr. J's head. "You'll tell me, damnit, you'll tell me what happened to her!"
"Heero, I'm only keeping this from you to save you a lot of grief..."
"I don't care!" Heero tensed on the trigger. "You'll tell me, or I'll kill you!"
"She died."
"How?" The gun had started to shake in his hand.
"She died in your arms, Heero."
"Tell me how!"
"You shot her."
"Oh, God..." Heero dropped the gun, his hand almost convulsing. "I didn't..."
"You killed Mina."
--
Heero had managed to stumble his way home. His head buzzing with his new found knowledge. He pushed through the door, his hands shaking like crazy. "Trowa!" He managed to shout for him, feeling his heart bleeding in his chest. "Oh, god, what have I done?"
"Heero?" Trowa walked slowly through the door, a confused look on his face. "Heero, what's wrong with you? Did you see Dr. J?"
"It was true... it was all true. Trowa, I killed her! I killed my own mother..." Heero fell to his knees, the sobs stabbing in his chest. "Oh god, I killed her..."
Trowa walked over to Heero. He... didn't know what to say. What do you say to a person who's just realized that they've killed the only thing they ever loved? "Heero..."
"Oh, Trowa..." Heero lunged into his arms, sobbing profusely.
"It wasn't your fault." He stuttered.
"It was... I shot her... she died in my arms!"
"So your dream was all true?"
"Yes! Oh, God, yes! Why? Why did I ever do that? Why?"
"It wasn't you! It was that perfect soldier that Dr. J created. Heero, it wasn't the boy she raised, or the boy she loved who did that. It wasn't you." Trowa wrapped his arms around Heero, rubbing his back gently. He ran his fingers through Heero's hair, listening to him sobbing.
"I did that to her..." Heero pulled away, looking at Trowa. "I killed the woman that did everything for me. That saved my life."
"It wasn't you, Heero, it wasn't."
"Mina, I'm so sorry..."
--
"Heero..."
"What?" Heero had his head on the desk, the cold seeping through his skull.
"Heero, it's me."
Heero looked up to see Trowa's face. "I don't want to talk about it."
"I know."
"What do you want then, Trowa?"
"I want to give you this, Heero." Trowa pulled a few files from behind his back and placed them on the desk. "Look at these. You'll see... you'll see that you loved her too much to really kill her."
"What... are they?" He touched the top of the folders that were on the desk.
"Just look at them." Trowa bent over and kissed his cheek gently. "Just read them."
--
Heero sat uncomfortably in the car. After about ten minutes, he finally found enough courage to open the door, or enough of something to open the door. He walked across the grass, feeling it bent lightly under his feet. Heero sighed and stopped suddenly. The pain wretched through his heart.
"That's her grave..." Heero reached out, but couldn't move anymore than he already had.
He stared blankly at the grave... pins and needles sticking into his heart.
He heard footsteps, but ignored then, his eyes never leaving the grave.
The footsteps walked past Heero. It was Trowa, a bouquet of flowers in his hand. He placed the flowers on the grave and stepped back for a moment, stinking his hands in his pockets. He bowed his head.
Heero finally walked over, falling to his knees right at the grave. He slowly took the picture out of his pocket, placing it right next to the flowers. "I'm sorry, Mina. I'm sorry... momma." He placed his head against the cold stone and let the tears fall down his cheeks. "I love you."
Trowa gently placed his hand on Heero's shoulder, watching as he turned to him with his teary, red eyes. "She's proud of you, Heero."
"Proud of me for killing her?" He wanted to kill himself instead.
"No, proud of you for regretting what you've done... and never forgetting her."