Ivan stared at the rectangular notebook on his table.

"I shall be away for a while, Ivan~aru. I have left you something." Ivan's eyes had lit up. And then China had spoilt it for him by declaring "Do not forget to write in it every night before you go to sleep."

Apparently Ivan had made a HUGE mistake when he had insisted Yao sign up for Psychology in College. He had thought it would be good for the man to have his focus as something other than work.

He was wrong.

And this was his punishment.

He took a deep breath before clutching the pencil and starting to write.

What was he going to write?

Well, Yao had said anything he wanted to..his feelings...

I wanted to stop and think this over. I really did. But I've never been much good at thinking, have I? Yao says that is because I think with Circular Logic. I do not know what that is. But if Yao says it then it must be true. Because he knows me better than anyone else..he knows me better than I know myself.

Yao says its necessary not to get caught in the stream that is hatred and revenge. He says it muddles everything up – he says it makes one's objective clouded and rationality influenced. But how can I not want revenge? All that was done to me...

Alfre-America. He used to be my best friend. But that all started to change when we started to compete for the top position. He wanted to be the Hero. I didn't even care. But my Boss hit me and pushed me on. I was scared so I went to America. But I saw him deploying the atomic bombs on Japan. His Boss had wanted to give them some more time. I saw him pressure his Boss to do it. I heard it when he said "Now then. Lets hope that taught the Sushi Bastard who the Hero is." I was there when he dropped the second one – despite my pleas not to. He had changed. I never trusted him again. He lied.

Toris – Liet. I gave him a home when he was lost. What did I miss? Where did I go wrong? I loved him – I loved them all. Was I too harsh? But I punished even myself after those... "episodes". And he had them coming! It was because he defied me that I punished him. Defiance is not a good thing, da?

Latvia. He was so happy here he shook all the time with anticipation and delight at being allowed to live here. I played with him, too, so he was really happy. Very very happy. Then why did he run away like that? Why?

Estonia..ah!Estonia was happy as far as he could be. I tried to make him go out with Big Sis cos they look so cute- ahem! You did not hear that! Anyway, he was quiet, but..well.

I suppose they wanted to be free? But that would be so pintless and doesn't make any sense...they were all happy here! They were all happy with the USSR. Why did they go away? I took all the Boss's beatings so everyone could stay happy. I worked myself to death on their accounts. I only ever punished them when they got too defiant. I even overlooked several minor faults. I gave them everything they could want. I never wanted a thing back..I just...didn't want to be lonely.

Ukraine...my Big Sis. That is a different story. She dodn't want to leave. That is true. Her Boss made her. And I don't blame them. You see, my Boss made me do something very bad, so her Boss made her leave me. It was my fault...if I had resisted more...but he beat me half to death. I had to be admitted to the hospital thrice cos I protested so much against these issues.

Belatrus..still hangs around. But she is scary. I want Big Sis, but that's right. She avoids me like death whenever I am near her.

England, France...they all sided with America as I was "killing" democracy. Whats the difference between Democracy and Communism? Someone once said that in Democracy Man exploited man and Vice Versa. They are the same, really. Its the same with all forms of Government. You may take it from me. I have had a few.

And now, I think I shall go to bed. I have written for long and my hand aches from the cold.

Do svidanya

Author's Nonsense: Hello! I just wanted to say all the usual blah blah and if you liked this, then I have a little Code Geass plot bunny which is sorta intense and lengthy and metaphysical stuff which I can't find the time to write(I already did 2 chap and have 5 planned) so if you're interested in a very time- and effort-consuming collaboration, drop a line. And yes, if someone actually knows the phonetic of "good night" in Russian could you get back to me? All I see there is this Cyrillic fonts and though I know some drifting phrases and words, I don't have a clue how the fonts are pronounced and all. And its annoying to see other fonts pop in when you're reading a story. At least, it annoys me as I have no idea how they're pronounced. That's all. Hoping against hope you enjoyed it(not much chance of that, eh? And that it made more sense to you than it to me. This was kinda random – like all my stories.)