Chapter 1: Catch Me
It wasn't that bad, was it? Xandra thought to herself while wandering the maze of Las Noches. The girl thought that if she mind fucked herself into thinking she wasn't lost in this mind fuck of a palace, then she could calm down enough to find her room. Or at least some sort of life to let her know she wouldn't be walking around this damn place forever.
Though her features showed some expression of nervousness, on the inside, she was absolutely freaking out. fuck fuck fuck! I hate this fucking place! Why must there be so much fucking god damn halls for? Seriously? This is utter bullshit...wah... I'm so fucking lost it's sad. Of course the girl won't really admit that to just anyone, per se.
Feeling a shiver run down her spine, she crossed her arms. The girl's hands rubbed the chilled sore flesh of her arms in effort for warmth as she continued to walk aimlessly. "hmm... maybe I should put my jacket on.." She mumbled softly to herself, remembering a white fabric tied around her waist. The white mid-drift uniform top of hers wasn't doing a hot job of keeping her warm as it did for her combat.
Her pace slowed until her body came to a complete stop, hands dropped to the side. The girl bit her bottom lip as a flood of emotions rushed into her. Hurt, sorrow, agony, pain, they all came back to her at the same time. It was overwhelming for her, a girl that constantly faked herself in order to hide what she truly felt. She always disliked that side of herself, she could never be completely honest, or be a liar. No, there were always two sides to this story. Or was that just another trick? She can't keep count anymore. How many times has her mind tricked her and vice versa?
She sighed, smirking devilishly as she realized what she was getting herself into again. Not again, I promised I wouldn't, so I won't, she thought as she watched the ground. Shaking her head slightly as she felt better, she always did whenever she was just wandering. Maybe that's why she got lost? Maybe, things seem to have a funny way of turning out like this for her. The girl took a small step, ready to find her room when a faint chilled breeze hit her exposed back.
'No', she thought, 'fuck! Why didn't I sense him sooner? Fuck... I need to-'
Xandra's thoughts were frozen by a familiar sadistic growl from behind, "Found ya, idiot woman". Snarled a male voice from behind.
Her body paused; the sickly feeling in the pit of her stomach came back. The Espada behind her was mad, pissed in fact. She didn't want to deal with it, not that she's a coward, no. More like she didn't want him to say what she didn't want to hear.
"Did I tell you to find me?" She demanded with a voice quiet and fragile.
It's a lucky thing he wasn't insanely pissed off with her or he would have bashed her head into that wall. The man knew she was a push from crashing.
He smirked, feeling amused by her daring response. "Don't give me that crap Xandra" his hands thrusted into his pockets.
The girl found her breath trapped in her throat at the sound of her name. Her hands balled into a fist as she shook in rage. Damn, did he ever know what sets her off or what?. Xandra instantly spun around, facing the electric blue haired Sexta.
"Fuck off Grimmjow! I told you to leave me alone!", the girl snapped, her tone no longer timid. In most cases, He would have killed the person by now. However, it was almost funny to him at how she yells like a bratty child one second and maturely ignoring him the next. This was partly why she ran. Her actions just add more unwanted amusement for herself. Grimmjow's smirk widened, which just pissed her off.
However, he too was enraged at her words but his expression didn't show that. The girl had only blinked before seeing blurred blue when she felt a rough force. Which was followed by a sudden surge of sharp throbbing pain all over her body. The Espada had swiftly pinned her by the wrist against the plain white wall. Xandra winced as her back slammed hard against it, the harsh treatment of her arms being stretched over her head caused her to whimper in pain.
"I don't take orders from a stupid fuckin' woman" The bluenette roared, putting more force in his grip. She disliked being cornered; the girl squirmed under him as she tried to ignore the stabbing pains and sickness.
Sadly for Xandra, her body betrayed her and let out a desperate whimper, "L-let ...go...". Keeping her head down slightly as she tired not look at the Espada's face, avoiding his icy blue eyes as long as possible.
Grimmjow chuckled devilishly, "begging already? Where'd all your fuckin' smartass talk go?" She made a crucial mistake by looking up to meet that sadistically menacing smirk of his.
Xandra's eyes widened, "fuck…you…" she choked out as she turned her head to the side, wild black hair waved with her movements. The girl started to tremble, her bones felt as if it were about to crumble away at any moment under the Espada's hold. Feeling more tears coming, making her vision blurry. Xandra bit her bottom lip to keep from making a sound. She hated when he got violent with her, Grimmjow would somehow make her realize just how weak she was. It hurt her pride.
On the other hand, Grimmjow not once took his eyes from her. His smirk dropped slightly, his jaw tightened in anger.
"Don't you fuckin' start cryin' on me now!" he hissed sadistically, like a feline ready to strike. This only caused the trembling girl under him to gasp sharply in surprise. He knew she could never handle him well when he was this mad. What was he expecting from her? Especially when she was a complete wreck.
The blue haired Espada groaned in frustration as he released the girl's wrists to grab hold of her waist. Hoisting Xandra onto his shoulder, he instantly started to sprint down the halls. Too much in shock to process what was happening quick enough, she blinked. Feeling it was hard to breath, body dangling, wind flowing, she felt all that before her fists began pounding on the back of her carrier.
"The fuck Grimmjow! Put me dow-! ", she demanded.
"Just keep your mouth shut!", he growled, cutting her off.
She paused, hearing his words stung her like venom. He was extremely pissed and was in no way playing around. Xandra's hands softened and instead timidly clenched onto his jacket. The two fell under silence briefly, her eyes on the ground as he sped through the halls. Xandra knew they had reached his room when the ground stopped moving so fast, feeling Grimmjow stop to open the door.
Engulfed in the darkness of the room, the light of the hallway faded. Not catching up to what was going on, Xandra had a moment of blankness as he brought her to his bed. She squeaked softly as he pulled her back roughly. Eyes closed, a small sigh escaped her lips feeling the softness of the bed against her sore back.
No longer pinning her down to instead hover above the girl's fragile body. Using his arms as support, legs spread on either side of hers', trapping her completely. Grimmjow would by now demanded for answers and getting what he wanted. That wasn't the case here, he attempted to actually control his outburst, but what can he do? If he's pissed, he's pissed. Then, he took a moment to scan the girl.
The expression she was showing, Grimmjow knew she noticed how beaten she looked. He tsked, seeing her usually flawlessly clean white uniform stained with dirt and crimson. Rips all over that exposed her milk chocolate skin far more than needed. Xandra's hair was wrecked, frizzy and wild. Expression full of despair; watery eyes, tear stained cheeks, flushed face and blank. He started to feel emotions, rage being one of them, along with something he couldn't fully understand. A sharp pain raised, seeing her as wounded and beaten up had never felt pleasant to him once. Even though he fights so violent and beast like, her weakest hour being so visible to not just him, but others didn't sit right with him.
Xandra, not hearing the Espada start roaring at her about the mess she had gotten herself into got curious. Flickering her eye lids open to Grimmjow staring at her intensely. She hummed in discomfort and embarrassment. She hissed slightly from the throbbing. Hands clenched onto the fabric of her shirt, in the middle of her chest.
"Grimm-"
"What the fuck happened?", he cut her off again.
Her stunning yellow eyes drifted from his. "Don't you have eyes? They kicked my ass…" her voice turned bitterly against the Espada.
Hearing this, it only angered him more. "Of course I fuckin' saw! why the fuck didn't you fight back Xandra!". Growled at her, hand digging into the sheets as he tried to restrain himself.
Xandra's hand shook at his response. "At least i started off pretty epic… ".
"Idiot! If you're hiding somethin' woman, you better start talkin'!" He threatened with rage.
At this point, tears started falling, she couldn't hold it back anymore. The scene didn't make Grimmjow too thrilled either, the girl was simple at times. She was easy to read in situations like this.
"…My sister... she was a soul reaper…" she said softly, the words tasted sour.
Grimmjow on the other hand was actually confused. "No shit! Why the fuck are you talkin' about that now?" . The rage dimming down, slightly. He knew that long time ago, why would she start babbling about this again? and at this moment?
She wiped the tears away. " ... this... this is all your fault ...".
Xandra's words wasn't helping one bit and it was just getting him irritated. He groaned, "Somethin' wrong with your head woman?".
She sighed, what was she expecting from him too? " if you didn't bring me back none of this wouldn't of happened…"
he gritted in annoyance, "Are you fuckin' kidding me? Let me remind you that you were the one who ran away first!"
None of this was making any sense to Grimmjow. She ran away. he was just following orders and she pissed at him for that? He didn't make her bolt from here. It has to be something to do with Aizen. With that leader of their's it wasn't so hard to put together what might have happened. perhaps more the fact that it seemed she was giving up. Of course it looked like that to him! letting Tosen give her a beating right in front of everyone like a damn show would definitely anger him. She knew better or maybe he wanted to test her worth.
"At least put up a fuckin' fight!" he said in satisfaction with a grin.
She glanced back at him, "It was one hell of a show... though... he got me a little...", she said with a wary smile.
"A little?", he rose a brow at her. "You call this shit fuckin' little?!".
He's statement made her gasp, knowing it was the truth. Grimmjow always spoke bluntly; she couldn't expect anything less when it came to his opinion.
Taking a deep breath, she turned to him. No longer avoiding his icy stare as her yellow eyes fell on him. The Espada could see her weak expression as she scanned him. Biting her bottom lip, she shakily brought her hand up to gently touch his cheek. Xandra's fingers felt electrifying to him as their skin connected. Her nails softly grazed against his face, making the hair on the back of his neck stand. Feeling a chilling sensation when her palm landed on his flesh, he always found it somewhat weird why his body tensed when she touched him. More importantly, wondered why she wasn't afraid of him. Xandra sweetly caressing his cheek, he found himself actually calming down, the rage almost fading. It pissed him off a little, how she could absorb his energy with little to no effort was beyond him.
"It's nothing I can't handle", she reassured him with a soothing tone, expression calm as she smiled weakly.
His smirk returned, "What bullshit". Xandra felt relief, somewhat.
She laughed softly, "were you always so hot tempered?". Slowly sliding her hand from his cheek down to his neck, gently.
"only 'cause you're such a pain in the ass", he commented back as he rolled off of her, breaking their contact to lay back onto his bed.
"What!? no, it's called being overly emotional", she whined back childishly, bringing out that baby voice of hers as a finger tapped on her lips.
Grimmjow folding his arms behind his head, propping himself up more on the pillow. "No shit! You're always makin' me chase your ass all over this damn place". A hint (a lot) of annoyance in his voice.
Xandra could see the topic lending them to yet another fight, "uhmp!". She carefully sat up, the stabbing pains reminding her of the wounds. "You don't have to you asshole, so stop acting like you hate it".
He smirked, "didn't say I hated it". She paused, legs hung over the edge of the bed. His smirk widened when he saw her ears burning red.
Xandra bit the inside of her cheeks, "I'm... gonna go now". She said, standing up reading to head for the exit.
"For what? ain't your room around here anyways?" he asked, seeing no sense in her actions.
She shook her head, "I should go see Szayel about my wounds". Her answer caused the Sexta to feel a spark of rage upon hearing the weird scientist's name.
"Since when is that freak you're personal doctor?", obviously expressing his dislike for the pink haired Espada.
Xandra sighed, this always happens. "He's more than willing to help me out, even if it's a little creepy".
She said calmly as her hand grasped the handle of the door and opened it.
"What bullshit", Grimmjow growled in a comment to what she said. Xandra's lips parted but then closed. She decided it was best not to say anything, and with that she left the Sexta to himself.
She sighed once the door behind her was closed. A small hiss escaped her lips as she began to make her long journey to the pink haired Espada's lab. An arm hugged around her torso as she walked in an effort to comfort herself. What was she hoping from him? She knew what to say for him to snap and now look how it turned out? This place wasn't ideal for her to try and seek comfort. No, she had to comfort herself and not to anyone else. Xandra just had to deal with it, as she has been for the last few decades.
i'll be fine… right?