"Waaa-ter from the waaa-ter jug. Waaa-ter from the waaa-ter jug. Waaa-ter –"
"Bean Axel with the waaa-ter jug – can you please stop that?" Axel looked up from where he was filling up his bottle with a grin.
"Maybe. What you going to pay me?" He asked the man lounging against the water jug. Demyx shook his head before taking a drink from his paper cup. "Come on, I'm dead broke! Papa needs some new shirts." His current shirt was spotted with stains from past meals and badly wrinkled. His crooked tie did it's best to hide some of them but it was a loosing battle.
"You're broke because you spend everything." Demyx said with fair accuracy and Axel could only sigh. He reached up and patted the steampunk goggles on his forehead. Not many places would let him get away with wearing them. It was one of the things he treasured about this job. "So what have you been doing this morning?"
"Mmm, me? Playing World of Warcraft." Demyx made a face as Axel grinned. "I'm making a killing on the auction house. All my lovely gems, mmm, not to mention the monopoly I've got on the mithril." He'd turned mining the low level ores into a money making science. It was such a shame it didn't translate into any real money or he'd have been rich. "What have you been up to?"
"Working on the monthly report. I actually do work." Demyx said tartly as Axel shrugged. "Really, what do you do around here?"
"I'm here for whatever you need." Axel answered. It was nothing but the truth. If anyone in the company was having any kind of technical or software issue, he was the go-to person. "And I keep all the servers running as well as the air pumps and I even unblock toilets." Demyx laughed and Axel smiled, pleased. "Hell, I deserve a raise."
"Hah! You're such a slacker." Demyx sipped his water before speaking. "Have you seen the new intern yet?"
"Nah." Axel wasn't particularly interested. Interns came and went. All sunny and sweet to begin with they burned out quickly under Xemnas' demands. "Is he cute? Maybe I'll ask for a date." Demyx looked a little pained.
"He's cute but he acts like he's got a prickle-burr up his butt. He actually handles Xemnas pretty well." Demyx shrugged as Axel lifted an eyebrow. "We'll see how he does. He has the nicest blonde hair and blue eyes." Axel took a long swig from his water bottle then capped it with a flourish.
"Is he then? I'll have to pay a visit to intern corner. Well later Dem, Warsong Gulch awaits." Humming in a loud, tuneless fashion Axel walked back to his own office. He had an office largely because no one else in the company wanted to hear him when he worked. World of Warcraft was only the start of the obnoxious sounds he could make. Axel grinned as he thought about it. It had taken some work to create a customized set of alert sounds but they had been worth it. Especially the Defcon One setting. He'd nearly given Zexion a heart attack with that one.
The building they were housed in was very old. Axel reflected, not for the first time, that his job would be a lot easier if the boss was willing to put a bit of money into some renovations. But he was determined to expand the business in any way he could so all the money got reinvested, and Axel often kept things together with duct tape and super glue. It worked and he largely enjoyed it. It was nice working outside the box and getting things done with unconventional tools and parts. Axel was vaguely aware that it fixing a boiler with old automotive parts might be unusual and possibly illegal, but it worked so he didn't care.
Entering his office he glanced around with pride. His office was a haven dedicated to all his pet projects and obsessions. A half-dismantled air conditioner was propped against a wall. Propped on top was the coffee maker, which was perking away merrily. Papers were scattered all over his desk, there were errant piles on the floor and the drawers were full of even more. Most were private notes to himself that he could no longer decipher, but that was fine. Everything important was stored in his memory or his blackberry. Important things like passwords made it into the memory while little things like putting on his pants in the morning required the blackberry. Axel was vaguely aware that for most people it was the other way around but in his opinion that was their loss.
Flopping into his comfortable swivel chair, he was about to load up the grand ol' World of Warcraft when someone knocked at his door.
"Mwuh?" Axel blinked. Usually no one knocked. "I have pants on!" He called just for fun and a head cautiously poked in. "Oooo. My prayers have been answered!" He exclaimed as he saw a cute blonde head and wary blue eyes. "What's your name, treasure?"
Demyx had been understating the kids' cuteness. Axel gazed him over with frank admiration. He had to be at least eighteen for a job here but he looked more like fourteen. The elegant dress shirt, subdued tie and slacks made him look like a child playing grown up. His face was so sweet and angelic that Axel immediately wanted to kiss it.
"I'm Roxas." Belatedly, Axel realized the boy wasn't too pleased with his greeting. Oh well. Hardly anyone liked him on the first go. He was an acquired taste, like pickled eggs. "You must be Axel. I've heard about you." From his tone it wasn't good. Axel heaved a sigh and leaned back, tipping back his chair.
"It's all lies – mwuf!" He went a touch too far and the chair slid out from under him. Fortunately the piles of paper cushioned the impact. Unfortunately they went flying in a small blizzard of paper. "Oh god! Papercuts! I'm going to die!" Then he sprang up, grinning as Roxas looked at him in blank surprise. "Sorry, I'm a klutz. So what can I do for you?" Roxas stared as his computer made a sound like a car crashing. "Oh, that's just the main server crashing, don't worry about it."
"What?!" Roxas shook his head as he realized Axel was putting him on. The grinning was a dead giveaway. "Xemnas wants to know if you're finished compiling the data from the servers."
"Eh what?" Axel said blankly then turned to his desk. More papers went flying, along with candy wrappers and some mummified orange peels. "Ah! Yes! Here it is." Roxas took the paper gingerly. "Isn't it pretty?" Axel said proudly as Roxas looked in disbelief at a pie chart that appeared to have been baked by a hippy tripping on LSD. The bar and line graphs weren't much better. "He loves stuff like that. Looks all businesslike don't it?"
"Erm… sure." Roxas felt vaguely horrified as he realized Axel was serious. "The coffee ring sets it right off." He added weakly and Axel laughed, slapping him on the back.
"You got it kid! I can tell you're going far. Oh oh oh, tell Xemnas from me that if he doesn't replace that busted plunger in the woman's washroom I'm going to use it to plunge his blow up doll collection." Roxas took the dismissal and quickly showed himself out, feeling like he'd just escaped from a hurricane of energy. He'd never met anyone quite like that in his life, and he wasn't sure he wanted to again. If he'd glanced behind him he might have noticed Axel watching him with a goofy smile as he went to give the psychedelic pie chart to Xemnas.
But he didn't, and Axel went back to his desk to play games and plot.
"I want… a cute l'il boy… and his name is Roxas…" Axel paused in his singing and rubbed his face for a moment with one hand. "Buuuuut how?" He'd been shot down enough times in his life to know that it wouldn't necessarily be easy. Physically he was attractive but his personality was often enough to send people running. Roxas seemed a little tense. "I know! This calls for an office get together!" It had been ages since he'd hosted a party. Quickly deciding on the date and time he programmed it into his blackberry and sent out all the invitations, carefully making sure that Roxas' new e-mail address was included in the send out. He knew what the e-mail address was of course. It was part of his duties to create those for any newcomers.
Axel is hosting a friendly get-together on Friday! 7PM! Come to my house. For those who've forgotten and those who don't know, I live at:
349 – 49 West Jefferson Way
Free food and booze! RSVP or Robot Unicorns will GET YOU!
He followed that by a bit of robot unicorn clip art he'd made himself. Axel really was very good at art… but then, hippy pie charts did not make themselves. Grinning, he watched all the RSVP's poured in. Everyone knew about his parties. Roxas' was one of the last and Axel wondered if someone else had told him how much fun it was?
No matter. It was fun and this was going to be the party to end all parties!
"I can't believe I'm doing this." Roxas glanced around, very ill at ease. This was the bad part of town. It showed in everything, from the cracked pavement to the crack whores hanging out on the street corners. Demyx seemed oblivious as he drove into an underground parking lot.
"Don't worry, really. Axel's building is pretty nice and the parking is totally safe. 'Sides, we'll all be there." Demyx said cheerfully as he parked the car. The underground parking was mostly empty and Roxas vaguely wondered why. Maybe most people here didn't have cars.
"Why does he live here?" Roxas was a bit puzzled by that. Axel had been with the company a long time. Surely he was making enough to afford something better.
"He says he likes the proximity to all the amenities… I'm not sure what amenities he's talking about and it's probably better not to ask." Demyx led Roxas into the building. He had to punch a key and wait for Axel's voice to come on. "Hey Red, buzz us through!" There was a quick buzz and they were into the building. For this part of town it was decent… which was to say it wasn't very nice. Roxas wrinkled his nose at some of the stains on the carpet. This kind of thing wouldn't have been tolerated in his part of town. "He's also dead broke all the time. He spends money like water…" Demyx knocked on the door and a beaming Axel met them. "Hi Axel!"
"Demyx!" He hugged his friend, pounding the sandy blonde on the back for a moment before his gaze fell on Roxas. Roxas was struck by the almost maniacal good cheer in those bright green eyes. "Hey there cutie!"
"Roxas." He snapped back. He wasn't this guys cutie!
"Rox-ass." Axel drew his name out in a sultry purr that made him blush. Then the redhead grinned. "Come in, come in, party favors await!" They both stepped inside and Roxas got his first view of Axel's apartment.
It was pretty big for this part of town, big enough that no one was having trouble moving around despite the crowd. Roxas gazed around and immediately realized Demyx when he told him he should attend. Everyone in the company seemed to be here, except Xemnas and Saix. Even Zexion was here and he hadn't struck Roxas as a party kind of guy. The furnishings of the apartment were very Spartan, just bare walls and a nice sound system. There wasn't even a TV. There were plenty of chairs and a long, battered table laden with food. People were either sitting in the chairs and holding paper plates of food or standing and doing the same. Roxas' eyes widened as he looked over the spread. It was all finger food but were those miniature hamburgers? Had Axel made this himself?
"Fudge! There's fucking fudge! Axel, marry me." Larxene's high and carrying voice rose over the rest and Roxas saw she was carrying a pan of something brown and gooey. Axel laughed before calling back.
"That's for dessert! Put that back. And I'll marry you as soon as you grow a penis!" Well, that told Roxas a bit more than he'd wanted to know about the redhead's sexuality. Although… Roxas suddenly noticed that Axel was in street clothes. He looked a lot better in jeans and a dark red silk t-shirt that showed off his arms. Axel seemed to be very well-muscles. Jerking his eyes away, Roxas flushed. He wasn't interested in this loud, egotistical idiot. "Hey Roxas, try a lamb pop." Roxas found a piece of meat on a bone shoved into his hand. He hesitated a moment then cautiously bit into it.
"Mrph!" His eyes widened at the taste. "This is delicious." He said, shocked, as Axel smiled.
"Cooking is one of my hobbies. I love hosting parties like this. So what would you like to drink? I've got mixers!" Roxas found himself cajoled into accepting a Mai Tai. Then someone turned the music on and he smiled as he recognized it as Frank Sinatra. Not everyone's cup of tea maybe but Roxas enjoyed it and everyone seemed to find it tolerable. Axel started to groove to the music, completely immune to any embarrassment and Demyx joined him, laughing. Roxas watched them both, amazed at how Axel's pleasure seemed to be infectious.
Maybe this would be a good party after all.
"That was great fun, wasn't it?" Demyx started the car and Roxas felt vaguely worried. How much had the sandy haired man drunk? But he didn't seem drunk at all. "Axel hosts those parties at least once every two or three months."
"It was fun." Roxas agreed. He hadn't really expected it to be. But everyone had been light-hearted and there had been plenty of amusing conversations. Not to mention the food and drink had been excellent. Before the evening was over Axel had decided to entertain them with some bartending tricks. That had been highly amusing, especially when he'd lost his grip on a tumbler. Fortunately the metal had held out but Axel had needed to mop the floor. "Axel is really weird though." Roxas wasn't sure he liked it. Demyx laughed.
"You have NO idea! Wait until you see him clash with our fearless leader." Demyx shook his head sadly. "Xemnas has a bit of a blind spot. You know how most people think that things they can't understand are important?" Roxas nodded. He'd encountered that phenomenon before. "Xemnas thinks anything he can't understand isn't important. That covers most of what Axel does. That's going to be a problem sooner or later, mark my words."
"Hm." Roxas didn't necessarily believe or disbelieve Demyx's little prophecy. But he'd definitely pay attention. Being an intern was valuable work experience and it might be an opening to work at this company permanently, and the company itself was doing very well. Roxas had researched it before he'd taken the internship. Maybe he'd like to work here after he graduated.
Or maybe not. He would just have to see.
Several days later.
"Hi button!" Roxas looked up, annoyed, as a long arm draped over his computer. "I'm told you're having a few issues with your com-pew-ter?"
"Huh? Oh, yes." The blonde cursed himself. He'd mentioned to Zexion that his computer was randomly freezing at times and Zexion had said that he would pass the concern on to Axel. That had only been an hour ago though. He hadn't thought the redhead would move that fast. "I'm not sure what's wrong with it." Axel gestured him away and took a seat, quickly beginning some kind of scan.
"Well, snuggle bug, this was the last intern's computer." Roxas bristled a little as he watched Axel work. Snuggle bug? He noticed that Axel's fingers were long and agile as they quickly tapped the keys. "And given that she was let go after I, mmm, checked the log files and found she was looking at an amazing amount of shota pics I think we can venture a guess of what might be wrong."
"Shota?" Roxas echoed. He'd never heard the term before. Axel looked up with a grin.
"Little boy porn." He said succinctly. Roxas eyes widened and he quickly added. "Little boy cartoon porn. It's legal enough but not something for the office."
"Cartoon porn?" Roxas was disgusted at the thought but Axel just laughed.
"Don't knock it until you've tried it! Some of it is very hot if you like guys. I prefer the stuff that might be adult if you squint a little. And these are Japanese cartoons so they're often pretty realistic. Stay away from the DBZ porn though… ah! Yes." Axel clicked his tongue sadly. "Several infections. It's a good thing I assumed people would do stuff like this when I set up the servers. Well, why don't you go check up on Xemnas for a while, make sure he has his tea and cookies? This will take a bit." Roxas snorted a little at the image of the forbidding owner of the company drinking tea and eating cookies. Axel flashed him a quick grin as he bent down to work. There was a beeping sound and Roxas frowned, looking down. It was coming from the blackberry Axel had clipped to his belt. "Hmm, can you check that for me?" Cringing a little, Roxas unhooked the little gadget from his belt. Fortunately Axel was concentrating hard on his work. The blonde glanced at the message.
"Axel, please prepare the building for a full inspection in three weeks." He read out loud. The typing at the computer abruptly ceased.
"What?" Roxas looked up with a blink as Axel turned, frowning. His green eyes were suddenly intent and hard as he reached up to adjust the goggles on his forehead. "What did you say?"
"A building inspection in three weeks." He repeated uncertainly. It seemed clear to him. Axel spat out a foul oath and grabbed the blackberry, reading over the message quickly.
"XEMNAS!" He roared. The volumn was ear shattering and Roxas could see heads popping out from cubicles. No one seemed particularly surprised as Axel stormed off toward Xemnas' office. Roxas dithered a moment then followed, feeling both frightened and curious. Was this what Demyx had been talking about? "What in fuck?" Axel slammed open the door with a fine disregard for etiquette and common courtesy. Xemnas looked up from a report, cold displeasure on his handsome face. Roxas swallowed hard and suddenly wondered if he should be here. He'd already learned to dread that look but Axel seemed completely indifferent. "What in hell is this?" He held up his blackberry.
"My message was perfectly clear. What question do you have?" He asked and Axel looked ready to explode. His temper was as hot as Xemnas' was cold and Roxas had no idea which was more dangerous.
"What question? What QUESTION? How in fuck am I supposed to get the building ready in three weeks?" Axel demanded and Roxas felt bewildered. The building clearly functioned. It should always be kept up enough for – "Request for a new boiler part, denied!" Axel began flipping through entries in his blackberry. "Request for new air filtration units, denied! What the fuck! The building inspector frowns upon scavenged parts, Xemnas! What's he going to say when I show him three air filtration units pulled out of broken air conditioners, huh? He's not gonna say golly gee, it works really well! He's going to say it's a fucking disaster!"
"I do not care." Xemnas voice was cold as the north wind and sliced through Axel's anger easily. But it didn't frighten the redhead, only angered him further. "You passed the last inspection. You can pass this one. Consult with Zexion about what you need. Now get out. I have work to do."
"You – you – " Axel suddenly snarled and stalked out. Roxas hesitated and was about to follow when Xemnas gestured at him.
"Stay." Roxas swallowed hard but edged into the room. "Axel is very insubordinate. Unfortunately, he is also quite good at what he does. But someone who would like to rise in this company would be well advised not to get too closely involved with him." Xemnas didn't raise his voice but his tone conveyed his intense dislike for Axel. Roxas wondered if the redhead knew how much the owner despised him. Would he care if he did? And was the feeling mutual? Probably.
"I understand sir." Roxas said quietly and the older man gave him a small, approving smile before he left the room. And he did understand. He just wasn't certain he cared.
This company might not be the right one for him.