Summary: Sully always told her she shouldn't care what anyone else thought of her. But what happens when it's his opinion, and one of the most important nights of her life? One Shot

Michaela Quinn thought that getting advice from Dorothy would cure the nerves she had about her wedding night. Unfortunately, she was dead wrong.

Seeing her bed on the train gave her a jolt. She appeared happy but she had been hoping she could have put this moment off until she felt ready. If I'm ever ready. Michaela knew well she may never be ready and she might just have to take a leap of faith.

So she went along with Sully's kisses, joking at the idea he was proposing when his fingers went to the corset on the back of her dress. Inwardly, she was shaking with nerves. She hadn't been this nervous getting married, doing her first surgery, becoming a mother to Matthew, Brian and Colleen – no there was no comparison to the nerves she was feeling now.

"Sully, it's not even dark out!"

"But it's getting darker."

Normally she would love his cleverness but the apprehension was blocking any other emotion. She loved Sully and she wanted more than anything to make him happy. She wanted to do this. Dorothy had said it was one of her better experiences while married – that wedding night.

Finally she gave in; she let his hands do as they wished in removing her dress, shoes and hair pins. The hair pins alone could take awhile. And Michaela let herself relax. She focused on finding some undiscovered place on Sully's neck that she could kiss. She was starting to enjoy herself, feeling more at ease.

When the last article of clothing had been discarded, Michaela pulled away, her feelings mixed.

"What's wrong?"

"It's nothing..."

"It's not nothin' Michaela or you wouldn't have done that."

"I'm... I'm scared."

Sully sighed, holding her closer to him. "We can go as slow as you want."

Her silence made him take his hand to tilt her face towards him. "What are you scared of? I am not gonna to hurt you."

Michaela closed her eyes, feeling tears cropping up in her eyes. "You won't try – but you will."

"Do you just want to go to sleep?"

Michaela sat up, unexpectedly. "No. I want this feeling to go away. This feeling of helplessness, this feeling that I can't do anything and I'm going to make you upset. I'm going to disappoint you."

Sully laughed, sitting up. "So that's it? Oh Michaela... you have to understand I love you. And I don't expect you to know all the answers. It's okay if you don't know anything..."

"I know something. Dorothy told me." Michaela answered indignantly.

"You aren't going to disappoint me. You couldn't. Anyway, how many times have I told you that you shouldn't care what other people think of you?"

"This isn't about me teaching evolution or wanting to open a library with open-minded books Sully. If you aren't happy – if I don't care what you think of me – then this won't work. This is bigger – more essential."

"Michaela, we love each other right?"

Michaela nodded, the lump slowly disappearing from her throat as Sully once again took her in his arms.

"Then we can forgive each other. I'm not going to be disappointed by you, but, if you feel like you weren't... well, I'll forgive ya."

"I suppose I was making too big a fuss anyway."

Sully smiled, answering her with a kiss.

***

"Now, was that as bad as you thought it would be?"

"I didn't think it would be bad... I just didn't think I could 'fall off a log."

"You did a good job falling off that log."

"So I didn't disappoint you?"

"Now what did I tell you? Never."

"Good." Michaela's eyes became mischievous, as she smiled at Sully. "Because I think we might just have time for one more falling off of the log."