CHEMISTRY
Sirius and Remus grinned ruefully at each other as they walked toward the Muggle school. All around them, students filed in one after the other, all of them looking bored and drab with their uninteresting school day ahead of them. Remus adjusted his sweater and checked to make sure his laces on his spotless tennis shoes were straight. Sirius looked at his friend and shook his head. He felt quite comfortable in his leather biker jacket and ripped jeans. His silky black hair fell down onto his shoulder while Remus' shaggy light brown hair was trimmed short. Remus caught his friend's eye and they nodded and stepped into the school. They were headed for the Administration Office when Remus began to have second thoughts. "Sirius, what if we get caught?" "We won't," Sirius reassured him. "No one knows that we're gone, and James will cover for us. Too bad he's sick. He'd enjoy this. Besides, I have my wand." "Sirius!" Remus looked scandalized, "How could you do that. We agreed no magic. We shouldn't risk it!" "Relax Remus, it'll be fine," Sirius said and ducked into the office before Remus could say anything else. Remus rolled his eyes and followed his friend in. Sirius had already begun to talk with the admissions lady. He was getting papers for them, having explained that Remus was his cousin. The secretary behind the desk looked at them suspiciously, but she handed them the papers and pencils to fill them out, pointing to a table and chairs that they could use. They sat down and began to complete the documents, heads bent and whispering like mad. "What should I use for an alias, Sirius?" Remus whispered. "Why can't you just keep it as Remus?" his friend answered simply. "Are you crazy? It's not a common Muggle name." "True. How about Harry?" "Harry?" "Yeah. Every full moon you do get hairy," he ducked Remus' swing, "and I like that name." Remus looked pleased and wrote it down, muttering, "Well, if you like it Sirius." "Now, how about mine?" Remus bit his lip thoughtfully, "How about Severus?" he ducked Sirius' furious swipe, "I was just kidding! Hmmm, how about Jake?" "Jake? Is that the best you can do?" "Well, give me a minute, maybe I can come up with something better," his brow furrowed in concentration and Sirius moved further down the page, when he suddenly burst out, "Ethan!" Everyone in the office stared at him and he ducked his head in embarrassment. Sirius looked impressed. "Thanks." "Your welcome." They finished up their paper work and turned it into the secretary, who gave them both schedules. They thanked her and exited the office as quickly as possible in order to get to their classes and have a bit of fun. Remus studied their schedules carefully. "Whew, she gave us the same schedules," he said in relief. Sirius was busy looking for their room. "Ah, here it is." He opened the door and swaggered in. They came out an hour later, heads aching and feet dragging along with the other Muggle students. "That was so boring," he said, eyes wide in surprise, "I didn't think it would honestly be that mind-numbing." Remus nodded mutely in agreement and looked at their schedule, then pointed the way to their next class. One lunch and four classes later, their day was nearly through and Sirius had had enough. "Harry, we need to put some spark into this last class of ours. You know, go out with a bang." Remus was too drained to argue, instead he gave Sirius an encouraging nod. They entered their last class with mischievous grins on their faces. It was chemistry. They settled down behind a lab station as the teacher took role. He was a tall lanky man with blond hair where the bald had not conquered and glasses reminiscent of James'. His name was Mr. Twibble. Remus nearly choked when he introduced himself and Sirius nudged him hard. "Ehem, my name usually has young man, but I would prefer if you would keep your choking a less public matter," the man sniffed and Remus snorted quietly. "He needs a lesson in manners, eh Sirius." "I agree, after all, doesn't he know what kind of people he's dealing with?" Sirius grinned. Remus chuckled and then their attention was called away from plans of revenge by a quick rap on the board from the teacher. "Now, who can tell me their hypothesis on what happens when we mix solution A with solution B?" A brainy kid at the station to the right of the two young wizards shot his hand into the air. He rattled off a quick answer that completely confused Sirius and Remus, but seemed to please the teacher. "Thank you Mr. Collins," said Mr. Twibble, "And now, please commence your experiments. For your benefit, I will tell you that Mr. Collins was dead on in his answer, so try to achieve the same results." Remus and Sirius looked at each other, then looked at the boy's set and watched his progress, doing their best to keep up with him. "Damn Muggle," Sirius muttered, "Slow down will you?" he hurried to pour chemicals and spilled solution A all over the table. Mr. Twibble descended upon them quicker than the Professor McGonagall ever had. "You idiot!" he cried, "What are you thinking? Look at the way that Mr. Collins carefully pours his solutions! Try not to be such a numb skull and do the job properly." He turned and didn't see the murderous stare that Sirius threw at his back. "That's it Remus," Sirius whispered furiously, "I'm going to get my revenge." Unfortunately for Sirius at that moment, Mr. Twibble was called from the room. Sirius turned wrathfully to Remus and happened to see the boy called Collins smirking at them from his station. "I've found a new target, Remus." Remus looked over his shoulder and nodded in agreement, his brown eyes lighting up at the thought. Sirius pulled out his wand and pointed it at Collins' beaker of solution B as he lifted it to measure some off. Shooting a quick spell, he heated the temperature on the Bunsen burner that the beaker was then placed on. He watched with satisfaction as the solution heated up. He shot another dose of extra heat over with a quick "Inflamarae." He hit the solution a little hard and it burst, spraying acid and fire everywhere. Sirius' eyes opened wide with shock as Collins' skin began to burn and the boy ran screaming from the room. Suddenly, the acid began to spread, eating away the floor and spreading toward Sirius and Remus. Remus shook Sirius, who was still rooted to the spot. Seeing this wasn't working, he slapped him hard across the face. "Sirius, come on!" he yelled, as the rest of the class fled to the hallway. Sirius still stared at the acid creeping toward them. Remus was getting desperate and threw all caution to the wind. Grabbing Sirius' face with both hands, he pressed his lips to Sirius', smothering him momentarily in an enveloping kiss. Sirius snapped out of his daydream, dropping his wand in surprise. Remus grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and started to lead him to the door, but the acid had beaten them there. He fled to the back of the room as the acid advanced and threw open a broom closet in the back of the room. He shoved Sirius in and followed him in, shutting the door behind them. They stood, crammed in the closet as the acid reached the door and began to eat through. Sirius started panicking. "Oh no, we're going to die. We're going to burn up. Oh no," he carried on in this manner for several minutes, then turned to Remus with the utmost seriousness and said, "Remus, before we die, I just want you to know, I love you." Remus looked at him thoughtfully for a moment, then replied, "I love you too Sirius." "You do?" "Well, I kissed you didn't I?" "Oh, right. Could you do it again?" "What?" "Kiss me?" "Gladly," Remus answered and then he took Sirius' face in his hands and kissed him again. Only this time Sirius was ready and he pushed back. They began kissing fervently, running their hands over each other's bodies and pushing up against the walls of the cupboard. They were well under way to tearing each other's clothes off, when the door was ripped open and they spilled out onto the floor, Sirius on top of Remus and both breathing heavily. James stood over them with an amused look on his face. "Finally," he said, "I've been waiting for you guys to get together for three years now." Any further explanation was cut short when Professor McGonagall appeared over James' shoulder. "Detention for a week," she ordered, "All three of you."
Sirius and Remus grinned ruefully at each other as they walked toward the Muggle school. All around them, students filed in one after the other, all of them looking bored and drab with their uninteresting school day ahead of them. Remus adjusted his sweater and checked to make sure his laces on his spotless tennis shoes were straight. Sirius looked at his friend and shook his head. He felt quite comfortable in his leather biker jacket and ripped jeans. His silky black hair fell down onto his shoulder while Remus' shaggy light brown hair was trimmed short. Remus caught his friend's eye and they nodded and stepped into the school. They were headed for the Administration Office when Remus began to have second thoughts. "Sirius, what if we get caught?" "We won't," Sirius reassured him. "No one knows that we're gone, and James will cover for us. Too bad he's sick. He'd enjoy this. Besides, I have my wand." "Sirius!" Remus looked scandalized, "How could you do that. We agreed no magic. We shouldn't risk it!" "Relax Remus, it'll be fine," Sirius said and ducked into the office before Remus could say anything else. Remus rolled his eyes and followed his friend in. Sirius had already begun to talk with the admissions lady. He was getting papers for them, having explained that Remus was his cousin. The secretary behind the desk looked at them suspiciously, but she handed them the papers and pencils to fill them out, pointing to a table and chairs that they could use. They sat down and began to complete the documents, heads bent and whispering like mad. "What should I use for an alias, Sirius?" Remus whispered. "Why can't you just keep it as Remus?" his friend answered simply. "Are you crazy? It's not a common Muggle name." "True. How about Harry?" "Harry?" "Yeah. Every full moon you do get hairy," he ducked Remus' swing, "and I like that name." Remus looked pleased and wrote it down, muttering, "Well, if you like it Sirius." "Now, how about mine?" Remus bit his lip thoughtfully, "How about Severus?" he ducked Sirius' furious swipe, "I was just kidding! Hmmm, how about Jake?" "Jake? Is that the best you can do?" "Well, give me a minute, maybe I can come up with something better," his brow furrowed in concentration and Sirius moved further down the page, when he suddenly burst out, "Ethan!" Everyone in the office stared at him and he ducked his head in embarrassment. Sirius looked impressed. "Thanks." "Your welcome." They finished up their paper work and turned it into the secretary, who gave them both schedules. They thanked her and exited the office as quickly as possible in order to get to their classes and have a bit of fun. Remus studied their schedules carefully. "Whew, she gave us the same schedules," he said in relief. Sirius was busy looking for their room. "Ah, here it is." He opened the door and swaggered in. They came out an hour later, heads aching and feet dragging along with the other Muggle students. "That was so boring," he said, eyes wide in surprise, "I didn't think it would honestly be that mind-numbing." Remus nodded mutely in agreement and looked at their schedule, then pointed the way to their next class. One lunch and four classes later, their day was nearly through and Sirius had had enough. "Harry, we need to put some spark into this last class of ours. You know, go out with a bang." Remus was too drained to argue, instead he gave Sirius an encouraging nod. They entered their last class with mischievous grins on their faces. It was chemistry. They settled down behind a lab station as the teacher took role. He was a tall lanky man with blond hair where the bald had not conquered and glasses reminiscent of James'. His name was Mr. Twibble. Remus nearly choked when he introduced himself and Sirius nudged him hard. "Ehem, my name usually has young man, but I would prefer if you would keep your choking a less public matter," the man sniffed and Remus snorted quietly. "He needs a lesson in manners, eh Sirius." "I agree, after all, doesn't he know what kind of people he's dealing with?" Sirius grinned. Remus chuckled and then their attention was called away from plans of revenge by a quick rap on the board from the teacher. "Now, who can tell me their hypothesis on what happens when we mix solution A with solution B?" A brainy kid at the station to the right of the two young wizards shot his hand into the air. He rattled off a quick answer that completely confused Sirius and Remus, but seemed to please the teacher. "Thank you Mr. Collins," said Mr. Twibble, "And now, please commence your experiments. For your benefit, I will tell you that Mr. Collins was dead on in his answer, so try to achieve the same results." Remus and Sirius looked at each other, then looked at the boy's set and watched his progress, doing their best to keep up with him. "Damn Muggle," Sirius muttered, "Slow down will you?" he hurried to pour chemicals and spilled solution A all over the table. Mr. Twibble descended upon them quicker than the Professor McGonagall ever had. "You idiot!" he cried, "What are you thinking? Look at the way that Mr. Collins carefully pours his solutions! Try not to be such a numb skull and do the job properly." He turned and didn't see the murderous stare that Sirius threw at his back. "That's it Remus," Sirius whispered furiously, "I'm going to get my revenge." Unfortunately for Sirius at that moment, Mr. Twibble was called from the room. Sirius turned wrathfully to Remus and happened to see the boy called Collins smirking at them from his station. "I've found a new target, Remus." Remus looked over his shoulder and nodded in agreement, his brown eyes lighting up at the thought. Sirius pulled out his wand and pointed it at Collins' beaker of solution B as he lifted it to measure some off. Shooting a quick spell, he heated the temperature on the Bunsen burner that the beaker was then placed on. He watched with satisfaction as the solution heated up. He shot another dose of extra heat over with a quick "Inflamarae." He hit the solution a little hard and it burst, spraying acid and fire everywhere. Sirius' eyes opened wide with shock as Collins' skin began to burn and the boy ran screaming from the room. Suddenly, the acid began to spread, eating away the floor and spreading toward Sirius and Remus. Remus shook Sirius, who was still rooted to the spot. Seeing this wasn't working, he slapped him hard across the face. "Sirius, come on!" he yelled, as the rest of the class fled to the hallway. Sirius still stared at the acid creeping toward them. Remus was getting desperate and threw all caution to the wind. Grabbing Sirius' face with both hands, he pressed his lips to Sirius', smothering him momentarily in an enveloping kiss. Sirius snapped out of his daydream, dropping his wand in surprise. Remus grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and started to lead him to the door, but the acid had beaten them there. He fled to the back of the room as the acid advanced and threw open a broom closet in the back of the room. He shoved Sirius in and followed him in, shutting the door behind them. They stood, crammed in the closet as the acid reached the door and began to eat through. Sirius started panicking. "Oh no, we're going to die. We're going to burn up. Oh no," he carried on in this manner for several minutes, then turned to Remus with the utmost seriousness and said, "Remus, before we die, I just want you to know, I love you." Remus looked at him thoughtfully for a moment, then replied, "I love you too Sirius." "You do?" "Well, I kissed you didn't I?" "Oh, right. Could you do it again?" "What?" "Kiss me?" "Gladly," Remus answered and then he took Sirius' face in his hands and kissed him again. Only this time Sirius was ready and he pushed back. They began kissing fervently, running their hands over each other's bodies and pushing up against the walls of the cupboard. They were well under way to tearing each other's clothes off, when the door was ripped open and they spilled out onto the floor, Sirius on top of Remus and both breathing heavily. James stood over them with an amused look on his face. "Finally," he said, "I've been waiting for you guys to get together for three years now." Any further explanation was cut short when Professor McGonagall appeared over James' shoulder. "Detention for a week," she ordered, "All three of you."