A/N: I apologize for any mistakes, they are my own, unlike the characters and even some parts of the plot. This was born out of a mix of ideas taken from books, movies and Orphan Black (of course), so if something seems familiar you're probably right. Also, each chapter will be accompanied by the name of a song, I can't post the links here but you can find it on my tumblr if you want. Thanks!
Prologue (The Way It Ends by Landon Pigg)
All you can feel is the sun warming your cheeks and the softness of her skin beneath your fingertips.
That, and the lump on your throath while the tears you fought so hard to keep at bay starts to blur your vision. Struggling to catch your breath, you quietly wipe the moisture from your face and continues to look outside, watching as the landscape rushes through the train's window becoming nothing more than handful of smudges.
Much like your life has been in the past months. A bunch of hasty moments blended together into a chaotic flow of events you're still trying to assimilate.
Resting your forehead against the glass, you cover your eyes with the palm of your hand, trying to find some kind of shelter from the havoc taking place all around you. But as much as you try, you know you can't hide from what's inside you, from your own personal storm of thoughts and emotions.
And suddenly you wish you didn't knew.
For the first time, maybe, you wish none of this had ever happened to you.
You wish you where just as blind and oblivious as the rest of the passangers of this train. You wish you could just live your life without having to carry this much anger, this much pain. Without having to feel this useless, this helpless.
But then she stirs in your lap, taking your hand from its place on her shoulder to keep it between her own, holding you as if you were her lifeline even while she sleeps, and you know you're just trying to fool yourself.
You wouldn't change anything even if you could go back to that day. The day she had entered your life and turned it upside down. Turned you upside down.
Slipping your hand from your eyes, you look down at her comfortably nestled in your lap with her head resting on your thigh and legs curled up in her seat. Your fingers intertwined with hers as she holds your hand against her chest, so close to her face that you can fell her breath against your knuckles.
A smile tugs the corners of your lips, despite the desperation that seizes hold of your heart.
Everything is a mess. You are a mess. And you know things will only get harder for you, when the time comes for you to finally crumble, you don't know how you'll be able to pick up your pieces from the floor. You don't know if you'll ever be able to pull yourself together again.
Still, you wouldn't change anything because that would mean never having met her, and that is the only thing that would have been worst.
Slowly you bring your hand to her scalp, running your fingers throught her hair and twisting a few strands around your forefinger. She stirs again and you see the lazy grin spreading over her features before she turns around.
You melt at the way she snuggles against your stomach.
"Are we there yet?" Her question lingers in the air for a bit too long, making her open her eyes to look at you.
"Almost, ma chérie." You lean over her, brushing your lips against hers, and for a moment everything is as it supposed to be.
You know this is the eye of the storm that will destroy you both. But you will take whatever you can for as long as you can.