The first time they hugged, Leslie had taken him by surprise and he could barely contain his excitement as he gently encircled her waist with his arms. It was sudden and unexpected; it was also very welcome but over way too soon. Ben had been re-living that hug ever since.
Ben stood silently by Leslie's office door and smiled softly at her. She seemed to be concentrating really hard on something she was typing, and he didn't want to interrupt her train of thought just yet.
He had been feeling like a total jerk for what he told her during their walk the previous day. Only later that night had he realized that what Leslie needed from him was for him to tell her everything would be ok even if she didn't have any ideas… Instead, he had added onto the pressure she was already feeling! 'Energizer bunny of city government', he wished he could take his words back.
Thankfully, Ron did know what was best for her and made her go to sleep. Note to self, Ben thought, next time Leslie can't turn herself off, somebody needs to force her to do it.
He had been in awe of her this morning. When she came in with that doily full of ideas, she was on fire. He never saw someone so excited and on top of her game like that. It was such a relief to see she had actually come up with some great ideas.
Now, as he watched her work from his spot by the door, he had nothing but admiration for her and what she was accomplishing. He noticed she must have gone home after their meeting earlier because she was dressed in one of her business suits and looked more refreshed and composed than she did this morning. Her hair in a bun (he wished for those cute pig tails again) and fresh makeup, Leslie looked radiant. Nevertheless, he still enjoyed the notion that she was not always like this. She wasn't always the power parks employee he saw in front of him. Sometimes she was vulnerable and a little neurotic. Sometimes she didn't have all the answers. This knowledge made him want to be with her even more.
"Ben, what can I do you for?" Leslie looked up after she finished typing.
At this, he came closer and pulled Tom's chair over by her desk. Tom had gone for the day, and so had everybody else.
"Leslie, I just wanted to come over and apologize for yesterday. I feel like a total idiot. Last night I realized you had come to me for reassurance and all I did was put more pressure on you. That wasn't cool and I'm sorry." He looked ad her in apprehension of what she would say.
"Ben! You have nothing to apologize for! You were just being a good friend, and I appreciate all the faith you have in me, I really do." She smiled kindly. Leave it to Leslie to not be mad at him for his cluelessness.
"Yes, I do have faith in you, but I don't want you to feel like you should always be the one with the great ideas. I feel like I should have been there for you yesterday when you were in crisis but I just stood there and called you the energizer bunny of city government, again, I'm sorry." He smiled a bit and reached out to cover her hand with his.
"Apology accepted. Now stop beating yourself up over this and come read over this proposal with me. I really want to know what you think." She pointed at her screen excitedly.
Ben felt a thousand pounds lighter with relief over how cool Leslie was being. He got up and leaned over the back of her chair so he could read the words on her computer screen. He loved how Leslie included him in all her projects, and how she earnestly wanted his input on everything. He felt like a true partner to her.
Leaning down over her, with one hand on the desk and another on the back of her chair, he could smell her shampoo or lotion or something. Her smell was so sweet, it made it hard to concentrate on the words. Controlling himself, he took a deep breath and focused on the words in front of him. He couldn't let her down anymore. After he was done reading the text, he stood up.
"So? What do you think?" She was like a little girl, beaming at him with those big eyes and contagious smile.
"Leslie, I think it's perfect. You did a great job of describing the details of how we can make revenue with these events, and you also made sure to lay down the operational needs. I think this is going to be great." He smiled proudly at her as he said this.
"Wow! Thanks Ben! I appreciate it." She looked down to her computer screen excitedly, wanting to go back to typing. Ben felt a little awkward just standing there while she got back to work. He thought he should probably leave her alone so she can continue, but he couldn't make his feet move. He was stuck to his spot behind her, and suddenly the words came out:
"Leslie, what you did this morning was awe-inspiring. I think it was amazing, or rather, I think you're amazing." He was so nervous now. Did he say enough that she would get his true meaning? He couldn't tell by her friendly reaction. She got up from her chair and faced him.
"Ben, that's so sweet! You don't have to say that. I'm just doing my job!" She touched his forearm reassuringly. He took that as an invitation for more physical contact, so this time he was the one who leaned down towards her.
The second time they hugged, it felt even more amazing than the first time. Her body fit perfectly against his and he knew he would have a hard time letting go. He let his arms circle around her a bit tighter this time around and nuzzled his face into her hair. 'God! she smells so good' he thought as he inhaled deeply.
She in turn smoothed her hands over his upper back and shoulders in an affectionate way, almost as if consoling him over something. When he opened his arms and pulled back a bit, she was smiling at him and he couldn't help but smile back.
He let his hands fall down from her, instantly missing the contact. She reached a hand up to fix his hair a bit. She seemed to enjoy doing that, and he didn't mind it one bit.
"Ben, Ben, Ben, what am I going to do with you…" She mused as she worked on his messy hair.
Once her eyes fell from his hair and met his, she became suddenly serious. Her hand dropped to her side and she was just standing there, staring at him. He felt self-conscious and didn't know what to do. How had things gone from the friendly hug and hair combing to this? He didn't know, but he must have been staring at her in the same intense way too, because she seemed a bit embarrassed. He noticed a flush on her cheeks and then she looked down at his shoes.
He decided to break the silence first. "Leslie, is something wrong?"
"No, nothing. Nothing's wrong." She looked a bit disconcerted as she sat back down and turned away from him. He wondered if he had done something to make her seem so sad, but he didn't feel comfortable enough to push her into opening up.
"Oh, ok then. See you tomorrow" He said as he backed away toward the exit. He wanted to keep things friendly between them. Things had gotten a bit intense just now, and he felt the right thing to do was to back away and give her some space.
"See you!" she smiled professionally from her desk and bid him goodbye as he left.
As he walked back to the car, Ben felt empty inside. All he wanted to do was go back there and hug her again. It hurt him to see her sad but he also didn't feel it was in his right to push her.
That night, at his hotel, Ben was relaxing and having a beer while watching the news. He heard a knock on his door and sprung up to go answer it. He hoped it was Leslie, and was very happy and relieved to see her outside his door.
She had the same serious look he saw on her earlier, after their hug. His heart tightened up at the sight and he had to keep his arms from pulling her into him right then and there.
Instead, he asked "Leslie, is everything alright?" as he motioned for her to come in.
"No, nothing's alright Ben! Nothing's alright!" She seemed mad now, as if he had done something wrong and she was there to yell at him. It reminded him of that time at April's party when she spectacularly made him feel like the worst human being on earth. That was not a good memory.
"What did I do? Here, sit down, can I offer you something to drink?"
She sat down and refused. He sat by her, with enough distance to ensure she was comfortable.
She gave him an exasperated look, "You didn't do anything, that's the problem! Today at the office when you hugged me, I thought you were going to kiss me and then you didn't! What's wrong with you, Ben Wyatt? What does a girl have to do to get you to notice her around here? I swear, men are hopeless!" She bent her head down in frustration and leaned over her knees, supporting her forehead on her hands.
"What!" Ben couldn't believe what he was hearing. Leslie was actually mad at him for not kissing her? Was she expecting him to kiss her? He suddenly had a million questions and didn't know what to ask first. He scooted himself over towards her and laid a gentle hand on her back.
"Leslie, look at me!"
She turned her head towards him and sat up to look at him. She looked seriously pissed off. He thought it was cute and couldn't help but smile at her expression. His smile was huge on his face as he started to say "Leslie, I…" when she interrupted him.
"What, is this funny to you Ben? Why are you looking at me like that! That's it, I'm leaving!" Leslie started getting up, but Ben was faster and pulled her back down by grabbing her arm.
"Leslie, stay and listen to me. I desperately wanted to kiss you earlier, but I thought you didn't like me that way. I want to kiss you and hug you and make everything alright. God Leslie! I'm only happy when I'm around you. You don't understand how much I admire and care for you!" he finished seriously, and his fingers reached her hair to smooth a strand over behind her ear.
"Really" Leslie asked with the most wonderful and open smile. A smile that told Ben he was welcome.
"Really"
The third time they hugged, it was intense and urgent. They both practically flew at each other, bringing themselves as close together as possible. He sighed into her hair as she breathed in his scent, neither wanting to let go any time soon.
Then, it wasn't a hug anymore.
