Disclaimer: Okay seriously, if I owned freaking Fullmetal Alchemist, you'd know. Why, because Edward would have either married Mustang, or me. Or the both of us because fuck the world, I want me some of that sexy yaoi action! So yeah, now you know.
A/N: I didn't think that I would return to this fandom, because the wealth of ideas had run kinda dry after Leather Pants. Also, after a few years of not watching Fullmetal, and getting sucked into other fandoms *Hetalia I'm looking at you* I recently rediscovered my old love for this series. I have some ideas now that I'm toying around with, so I'll definitely be writing for this series again. My inspiration also came from stumbling across an author here, who literally writes some of the best Roy/Ed fics I've ever had the pleasure to read. KissMeDeadlyT-T is her name, and if you haven't read any of her shit, go do it now; you won't be disappointed. So yeah, I'm dedicating this one (possibly two) shot to her, because she taught me what it's like to love again! T-this pairing... she taught me how to love it once more... yeah... *fades away in awkward silence* All kidding aside, please enjoy the story!
P.s. also I'd like to mention that this is rated M for cussing, and alcohol abuse. Don't do drugs kids, and stay in school *this message was brought to you by a really bad influence that you shouldn't really listen to*
Oh, and this is set after the Brotherhood universe, just to clarify.
Intoxicated
Chapter One: If it hurts in the morning...
The air was hot, and sultry; and the sun was just beginning to set, throwing the city into hues of gold's and red's. Summer heat was being absorbed into everything in a last ditch effort to keep Central warm, before the moon would rise. Children were just now being shepherded inside by the calls of Mothers' voices shouting, "Dinner." A small smile tugged at my lips, as nostalgic memories of home came rushing forth. I shook my head after a while, tossing aside thoughts of childhood, to stay focused on the present.
My quickly measured footsteps finally came to a halt, right in front of one of the many Bars Central had to offer. Fingers wrapped in fine silk grasped the bronze doorknob in that easily confident way I seemed to always display, and I waltzed right on in as if I owned the place. It was much cooler inside the Bar; the muted, quiet atmosphere was a safe haven for me.
The high pitched whirring of the Bar's cooling system played in perfect harmony to the soft clink of ice, in glasses of booze. My sharp, perceptive eyes scanned through the inhabitants in the front room of the Bar; voices, and the muted sound of pool cue's knocking balls around, alerted me to the presence of others in the back room. A few men sat companionably at a table close to the bar, laughing uproariously, and shoving each other in the playful manner only close friends could. A dull pang shot through my heart then, memories of days like this spent with my best friend Maes Hughes, still not easily forgotten.
There were a handful of other men, all varied from young Businessmen fresh from work; to old, haggard Gentlemen who preferred to keep to themselves in obscure corners. And, one blonde woman with long, lush looking hair, who was slumped face down at the bar. Perhaps if the woman, who in my opinion had the loveliest head of hair I had seen in a while, wasn't so obviously wasted off her ass- I would have sweet talked her into my sheets. An appreciative sigh fell passed my lips, as I gave her a last look over, before taking my own seat; a few bar stools away from the pretty haired blonde. Besides, I reasoned with myself, that shade of bright gold was too close to a certain someone's, and it set my teeth on edge to think of that brat at a time like this.
I raised a two finger salute to the Bartender, who was surreptitiously drying out glasses with a worn cloth. The man nodded, pushing up his thin wire frame glasses, and walked over to me. "What'll you be havin' then?" The Bartender asked casually, with a scraggly eyebrow quirked upwards in a questioning manner.
"Scotch, on the rocks please."
The bartender nodded, and set about artfully pouring the drink, not spilling a single drop from years of practice. He slid the drink my way, and took the offered Cenz from my silk covered hands. I lifted the cool glass to my lips, and silently toasted to myself. The first sip always burned the worst; falling down my throat like liquid fire, and moments later singeing through my veins.
I enjoyed myself for the first ten or so minutes, sitting back casually, and slowly sipping my favorite drink; occasionally checking to see if the blonde woman beside me was still alive, since she hadn't moved once since my arrival. I really was enjoying myself, until the blonde a few seats away lifted her - no his - head, and slurred in an unmistakably familiar voice, "Barkeepem'comin'..."
"Oh, how the Gods love to mock me," I thought with a bitter scowl. Of course, the blond just HAD to be Edward Elric, my once bratty subordinate... and fuck, I had been checking the younger man out! In all fairness though, Ed did look like a girl all slumped over; his long hair splayed out across his shoulders, and down his back. The bartender slid a bright red drink, with a few cherries floating among the ice, towards Ed; who surprisingly caught it with decent dexterity, considering his current state of inebriation. The former State Alchemist stirred his drink around lazily with his straw, before taking a few hesitant sips, and then slumping forward again resting his head upon a forearm.
I took in all of the small details I ignored before, when I assumed Ed was just another blonde party girl. The biggest tell should have been the broad set of the man's shoulders, and back; the narrow cinch of his waist, leading down into just as narrow hips. Ed's strong, sculpted ass being shamelessly displayed through tight, black leather pants. "Okay," I thought to myself in utter bewilderment, "how the fuck did I mistake him for a woman? Maybe a few years ago yes, that could have been very plausible; but now? Dear Gate, Ed was all MAN."
Still, it shocked me to the core to find the younger man here of all places, seemingly drowning himself in the warm hum of intoxication. It was just so unlike Ed. This scene was more appropriate for men like myself, not for a young, fiery man in his prime. I downed the rest of my scotch, that extra boost of liquid courage needed to bolster my resolve. Tonight, I had questions for the former Alchemist, and I was damn well going to get answers.
"Hey, Fullmetal." I shouted, to catch the blond's attention. It took a few seconds for it to sink in for Ed, that some one had called his name. Slowly he lifted his head up, and started looking around blearily for the source of his disturbance, down the road of blissful drunkenness. Bright gold eyes finally locked onto mine, while I waved half heartedly, and smirked like my smug self.
"Fuck," Ed spat out, his words slightly slurred. "The hell you doin' here, bastard Colonel?"
The usual self-important smile slithered across my lips. Oh how predictable the former State Alchemist was, even to this day. "So, when did you get back to Central? I thought you were staying in Resembool now." At this point I had deposited myself into a stool next to Ed, and was appraising the shorter man with the utmost scrutiny.
Ed grumbled to himself, his words sounding suspiciously like, "None your fucking business." The blond glared when he was done muttering darkly to himself, and started sipping at his drink again.
"By the way Fullmetal, I am a General now, so I expect you to address me as such." I raised a two finger salute again to catch the bartender's attention, and waited for my new glass of scotch.
That caught the blond's attention, and Ed looked up into my dark eyes; his brilliant gold orbs suddenly a bit clearer. "Well bastard, looks like your little dream might be realized sooner than I thought." He frowned then, and shook his head before adding, "and stop calling me 'Fullmetal.' I ain't a State Alchemist any more... just - just call me Ed."
I didn't miss the hesitance in Ed's voice, the sad reluctance to let go such a big part of what had defined him for so many years. The new glass of scotch was set down before me, and I spent the next awkward moments stirring it, and taking a few sips. "So, you never told me why you're here, Ed." I left it as an open ended question on purpose, leaving it up to Ed to interpret it as he would.
The irritated groan that the blond emitted, was almost amusing; and I was suddenly reminded of mission reports, and legendary screaming matches between the former Alchemist, and myself. "Shit... fine, if you want to know so fucking badly, I'll tell ya'." Ed ground out through clenched teeth. "Al... Alphonse is getting engaged to Mei. I just... I couldn't stand being around them anymore. Every fucking day, it was kisses, and fuckin' rainbows! I just... needed some space."
It was hard to miss the self loathing that swam through bright gold eyes, and even easier to figure out why it was there. Edward was feeling guilty for being irritated by Alphonse's happiness - and then hated himself for feeling so negatively about it. The question was though, why was he feeling so badly about his only brother's happiness? Especially after all that they had been through...
"So, is this the part where you tell me?" I nudged Ed's arm companionably with my elbow, trying any thing to get the younger man to open up; because I knew Ed spent too damn long, bottling every thing up inside himself.
Edward's fiery gaze, settled into one of his infamous glares. "Tell you what?" He spat out, a biting harshness to his tone.
"Why you're feeling so irritated by Alphonse's engagement."
The blond snorted derisively, "No, this is the part where I tell you to mind your own Goddamn business."
Another awkward silence fell between the two of us, only being punctuated by the sounds of ice clinking, and the soft murmurs of others around us. Ed sullenly gulped down the rest of his drink, and ordered another; the barkeep shaking his head, but set about mixing it up regardless.
"So," Ed broke the silence as his new drink was presented to him. "Since we're being all open, and touchy-feely, you gonna tell me why you're here?"
The question caught me off guard for a moment, because it was so unlike Ed to consider other people's motives, and feelings. "Well... honestly, I don't know why I'm here." I shrugged, a small frown creasing my brow. "I guess it's become such an ingrained routine, to go out for a drink or two after work."
A sly smile cracked the blond's somber features. "Yeah, and you were probably looking to get laid huh?" Ed said it with so much snarkiness, it almost felt like the old days again, and it made me smile despite the blond's annoying behavior.
My smile gradually shifted into a smirk, recalling how I originally assumed that Ed had been a woman. "Yeah, that's going to get him nice, and riled up." I thought evilly to myself. "If I wanted to get laid Ed, I would've gone to a more upbeat place. This is all about relaxation... though, I did see a very pretty blonde woman when I walked in, almost thought about nailing her." The end of my sentence was practically punctuated by a suggestive eyebrow wiggle.
Ed looked around the bar, frowning when he couldn't spot the woman I was talking about. Then slowly as it was dawning on him, the blond whipped his head back to see my smirk, and gave me his most fearsome glare. "Just 'cuz my hair is long, it doesn't make me a fuckin' girl, you asshole!" He practically screeched, banging a fist harshly onto the wooden counter top.
I laughed at the blush steadily creeping across Ed's fair skin, thoroughly enjoying the young man's embarrassment. I held my hands up in defense, when the blond tried, and failed miserably to sock me in the face. "Look, all kidding aside, I did accidentally mistake you for a girl when you were slumped over, and all I could see was your hair." I amended, holding both of Ed's balled up fists in my hands. The blond shot me a weaker glare, too focused on struggling to get free, to put more bite behind it.
My dark eyes roamed up and down Ed's body, enjoying the low dip of the collar on his loose, black tank top. The tight leather, that clung to every piece of hard muscle, and smooth curves his lower half had to offer. Every subtle wave, and gentle whisp of Ed's bright golden hair, that fell passed his shoulders, framing his still slightly round face; yet also accentuating the squareness of his jaw, the sharp edges of his delicate cheekbones.
"You know, if you take a picture it'll last longer," Ed smirked almost maliciously, probably enjoying the fact that I visibly flinched, and immediately looked away from his distracting body.
"By the way," I cleared my throat nervously before continuing to dig myself a bigger hole. "Why do you have your hair down? - don't get me wrong, it looks fine, it's just... different."
Ed picked up a broken hair band in response to his question. "Can't fix it, remember?" His words were tinged with the subtle edge of regret. I looked at his right arm out of reflex, still not used to seeing flesh there instead of metal; and was reminded of Edward's ultimate sacrifice to retrieve what the Gate had taken away from him. He could no longer perform Alchemy...
"I could uh... I could fix that for you, if you'd like." I offered, feeling a little guilty after the words left my mouth.
The blond just shook his head, and gave me a tiny smile before replying, " 'S all right, I'll just deal with it 'til I get home."
"Well okay..." it was all I could think of to say in response.
Ed's smile widened a little, and he patted me on the back. "Hey, let's forget about all that other shit, and get wasted."
A grimace flashed briefly across my features, because I was frustrated by Edward's inability to open up - and let his friends, and family be there to help him, when things got rough. I opened my mouth, to reprimand the blond like so many times in the past, but thought better of it; after all, Ed wasn't really a kid any more, and he was free to live life how ever he saw fit. I shook my head, and smiled wryly as I replied, "Sure, why the hell not."
~O.o.o.O~
By the time Edward and I realized that we both had way too much to drink, it was completely dark outside; the busy thrum of Central dulled down to an occasional pulse. The moon hung high in the Indigo colored sky, lighting up the streets alongside the random lampposts dispersed here, and there.
The Bar that the both of us had been drinking in closed earlier than most, so at 11 o'clock, all the last minute stragglers were ushered outside into the cool night air. The fresh breeze helped to clear my fuzzy thoughts a bit, at least enough to help me realize that my companion was waaaaaaay more shit faced than myself. Edward was leaning heavily against a nearby brick wall, and teetering from side to side; giggling like a little child. A blissful smile lit up my face, the blond's behavior amusing me... and I couldn't help but find it criminally adorable as well.
Stumbling a little towards Ed, I found myself leaning against the wall as well; hovering protectively over the blond. "Ed... we uh - we need to get you home... or at least some place safe." I mumbled, trying to connect coherent thoughts at this point.
Edward looked up, staring intently into dark-as-night eyes. He smiled foolishly, and tipped forward into my strong torso. "Mmmmmm, nice and safe right here..." he mumbled against my ribcage.
The younger man's hot, moist breath seeped through my cotton shirt, and sent shivers crawling across my skin. My heart beat quickened, the sound of pulsing blood thundering through my ears. Edward nuzzled further into my chest, arms wrapping around my thicker waist. A breathless groan almost escaped my mouth, the weight of the younger man pressed so heavily against me, was sending very confusing feelings to my lower regions.
I backed Edward up against the wall, connecting our hips together in an extremely intimate fashion. The blond made an odd sound, some thing between a groan, and a breathless sigh. I placed my gloved hands on either side of Edward's face, and tilted it up towards my own. We stared at each other intently for a while, breaths coming out ragged, and harsh.
I knew in that moment, that I could kiss Edward, could force my tongue into the younger man's mouth, and practically rape it. I leaned in closer, wanting to taste the blond's lips against my own; taking all of the passion, and wetness that mouth had to offer. Something stopped me though... the heavy stench of alcohol on Ed's breath, and the unfocused haziness in his gold eyes. The man was drunk, and I knew kissing Edward now, though as pleasurable as the notion was, it would still be taking advantage of his weakness. I would never forgive himself, if I let it get that far.
So instead, I tipped my forehead against Edward's, and mumbled, "Let's get you home, okay?"
" 'S too far... don't wanna go home." Ed looked confused for a moment, eye brows drawing together, and gaze looking troubled. " 'sides... I don't... have a home to go back to, do I?"
"Don't be silly Ed, you must have rented an apartment -" I stopped myself, realization dawning on me, understanding what Ed meant. An overwhelming sadness engulfed me for a few moments, images of ash, and charred wood surfaced; the distinct smell of fire. "No Ed, you do have a home remember? You have the Rockbell's, and Alphonse... and," I took a deep breath before continuing, "...and you have me."
Edward looked away, a deep frown carving his face into a mask of bitter sadness. "I don't really have them any more, do I? Winry's got a boyfriend, and Al is getting married... they're starting new lives, and I... I don't want to be the burden, that just get's in the way of their happiness."
Fragile Edward was some thing I had only witnessed a few times since I met him as a kid... and each time it wrenched the heart out of my chest, and crushed it into smithereens. I cupped the blond's cheeks, cold - wet tears splashed onto smooth silk, making the cloth damp. I brushed the last stray tear off of the tip of Ed's nose. "I know what you're feeling right now Ed... believe it or not, I felt the same way when Hughes got married to Gracia, but... I learned that friend's like them, or like Winry; Family like Alphonse - they will want to stick by your side no matter what. I'm pretty sure they'll both be upset, if you don't let them include you in their lives."
Edward let out a shuddery sob, but no more tears fell from his watery, gold eyes. "I know... it's just - it hurts so much worse, when you're in love with some one, but can't have your feelings returned." The blond's words shocked me to the core. So, there's more to his heart ache then what he originally let on... I wonder, if he's talking about Winry?
The blond teetered back a bit, almost loosing his footing, and cursed. All of this deep, emotional connecting to Edward, had sobered me up a bit more, at least to the point where I could think straight. "C'mon," I took a hold of the blond's waist, "my place isn't too far from here. You're free to stay the night, since I wouldn't want you walking home alone in your state right now."
"M'kay..." Edward slurred, leaning heavily against me. A sigh pushed passed my lips, but I moved forward regardless, practically carrying the shorter man along with me.
~O.o.o.O~
The normally ten minute walk, became almost twenty five minutes, because of Edward's extra weight, and clumsy limbs. But eventually, I lead him up a small stone path passed an old wrought iron gate, and up to my front door. I shuffled the blond around a bit, letting him lean completely against my torso, while I searched my pockets for my keys. As I inserted the key into the lock, I almost swore I felt the wet press of a kiss against my clothed chest. But I ignored it, chalking it up to an accidental brush of Ed's lips.
I pushed the door open with my foot, and lead the blond inside, shutting the door behind us with my elbow. Ed looked around the foyer, a blissful grin tattooed on his face. "Nice," he stopped to gather his scattered thoughts, "nice place you got here... for a bachelor."
"Well, I make do." I replied, studying the blond intently. It seemed Edward went through severe mood swings while drunk; a bizarre cycle of emotions.
"So, you got any more booze? I'm not nearly as shit faced as I want to be... the buzz is kinda wearin' off now." A half smile twisted Edward's face into some thing mischievous, and almost... sultry.
I gave the blond a skeptical look replying, "Do you really think that's a good idea? I mean, you seem delightfully drunk as it is." I appraised Edward from top, to bottom, hands on my hips (in a completely manly fashion of course).
"Aw, c'mon," Ed whined petulantly, "where's the fun in that? Let's get so hammered we pass out in a pool of vomit! Or are you to old to keep up with me geezer?" That notoriously malicious smirk slithered right back onto the blond's face, a few snickers added to help goad me further.
"You're not going to break me down by using petty insults, shorty," I dead panned, trying my very best not to give into my former subordinate.
Ed shot me a glare sharper than his old Auto-mail blade, obviously still not taking well to cracks about his height... or lack-there-of. "If you're just going to be a boring old man the rest of the night, I can always leave, and find some where else to get wasted. Or, you could stop being such a motherfuckin'hen, and live it up a little with me."
It all should have boiled down to me looking out for the blond's well being by letting him drink in a safe environment, instead of at another seedy bar, where not even the God's knew what could happen to the headstrong man. But, I would be lying to myself if I said that was the complete reason, for doing what I was about to do... no, a selfish (and maybe a bit desperately horny) part of me wanted to get Ed as drunk as possible. Maybe then, we could pick up where we left off against that wall...
"Fine," I threw my hands up in the air in exasperation, "you win! But don't you dare complain to me, when you have a fucking hangover from hell in the morning." I made my way into the kitchen, beckoning Ed to follow. Opening up a cupboard above the toaster, I pulled out a bottle, half filled with an amber liquid.
"What is it?" Ed asked, leaning his whole body over the island countertop.
I pulled out two small glasses, and started pouring the shots as I replied, "It's Rum, the good stuff no less, so you better not complain."
The blond grabbed for his glass, as I grabbed for my own, and we raised them to toast; clinking them together, and mumbling, "Cheers." We both tossed the shots back quick, and set the empty glasses down with more force then needed.
"Mmmmm, fuck that's good," Ed sighed, his face starting to turn a light pink, because of the poison now running through his veins.
It took a bit longer to affect me, because years of heavy drinking had practically destroyed my liver, and gave me a higher tolerance. But eventually it did hit, and it left my head spinning in a warm, tingly sort of way; and every thing grew exponentially more entertaining than it should have.
"Another!" Edward suddenly cried, holding his empty glass out expectantly. At this point I knew it was pointless to argue with the blond, and just gave in. I poured us both another round, and raised my glass to Ed.
"To Alphonse getting married," I toasted, and we clinked glasses again, and downed our shots.
After a few minutes of blissful inebriation however, Ed's smile started to falter, and his face began to pale. "Oh fuck... thinkI'mgonnabesick-" he slurred it together as one long word, before he turned towards the sink; perhaps a little too fast, because now he was holding his head, and looking rather faint.
On instinct, I reached out, and tangled my fingers into Ed's long, golden hair; pulling it back, as the man lurched forward, and started vomiting into the kitchen sink. The sounds of Ed's gagging, and the rancid smell of puke filled the room for at least a minute, before he pulled away from the sink with a grimace- washing the contents down the drain.
Fingers still twined almost intimately in the blond's silky hair, I took this opportunity to gloat. "I told you... it was a bad idea."
All the fight left Edward along with the contents in his stomach, because instead of replying with a snarky comment, he just fell heavily into my waiting arms. "I feel...sleepy," he mumbled into my white, cotton t-shirt.
With a start, I realized that I was still holding firmly onto the younger man's hair, so I let go; feeling slightly embarrassed. "Here, let's get you situated on the couch then." I led Edward into the living room, and then to the plush leather couch.
Ed sat gingerly on the couch, head resting heavily against the plush back. His vibrant eyes slipped closed, and he emitted a soft groan. I couldn't help but smile, reveling in being right, and already enjoying all the gloating I would be able to do tomorrow, on the blond's behalf. But for right now, I felt warm and caring, and wanted nothing more then to be the shoulder Edward would need to lean on. So, I kneeled before the younger man, and slipped off his clunky black boots.
One golden eye cracked open to watch me intently, as I proceeded to pull off the one sock on his right foot; the left flashing dully in the lamp light. I looked up, catching the blond's gaze; onyx melted into burnished gold. The intensity of our stare down lasted only briefly though, me breaking contact first, to stare curiously at Ed's Auto-mail foot.
"You know," I mumbled softly, before gathering more courage, "I've never touched your Auto-mail before... do you mind?" My eyes were imploring, openly curious, and full of adoration for the feisty blond; but it was a look I knew the other could not fathom... because Edward had no idea about the depths of my affection for him.
Edward gave me a calculating glance before shrugging, and saying, "Sure... be my guest." I released a pent up sigh, and smiled fondly at the blond; who once again had his eyes closed, and his head tipped over the back of the couch. I ran my hand along the graceful arch of that metal foot, slowly caressing the heel - and played with cute, mechanical toes. I looked up to see Ed smiling softly, and the sight made my stomach do a back flip; the blond just looked so perfect when he didn't have a scowl muddying up his delicate features.
"You know, even if I can't technically feel that, I can at least feel the pressure of you pulling on my toes - and it feels fucking weird..." He didn't say it with his usual bite, no - Edward's voice was light, and breathy; sounding like he had just been tickled, and was fighting for air between fits of laughter. I blushed, because this moment was just too damn cute not to.
I stopped my exploration of the unique appendage, and stood up; brushing some carpet lint off of my military blue slacks. "Well, I'm going to go fetch us some blankets, and pillows... try not to vomit on anything, I'm too tired to clean it up if you do."
The blond just hummed in response, probably starting to fall asleep. I shook my head, and headed for my room, up the stairs. I scooped up two goose down pillows, and my favorite red blanket; stopping by my rarely used hall closet for a spare, light beige blanket I had received one year for Christmas.
Walking back down the stairs, and into the living room, arms full of fluffy sleepy time things; I caught sight of Ed already sprawled out, and asleep on the couch. A rush of warmth ran through my chest at the sight, seeing the blond's face completely innocent, and sweet was enough to turn my bones into jelly. I tiptoed silently over to the sleeping man, and spread the beige blanket over his relaxed body; then I lifted Edward's head as gingerly as possible, to place the pillow beneath it.
Ed just made a small squeaking noise in his sleep, but other than that he stayed peacefully ignorant of the world around him. I brushed the bangs out of the blond's face, fingers lingering just a little too long against soft, tan skin. Edward's face turned slightly into the light touch, so I withdrew my hand, not wanting to wake him. I let out a soft sigh, and fell into the comfy arm chair beside the couch; leaning back with my pillow, and curling up in the red blanket. Sooner then expected, sleep claimed me within it's gentle grasp.
~O.o.o.O~
A violent sound woke me from my peaceful dreams, and it sent me bolting upwards, fingers pressed together and ready to ignite any unsuspecting intruders. I looked around wildly in the darkness, for any sign of movement; my heartbeat thundering in my ears.
It was silent for a few moments, before a bone-chilling scream tore through the quiet. I turned, my eyesight slowly growing accustomed to the dark. Edward was trembling, his eyes closed and moving rapidly behind his eye lids. The younger man's skin was pale, all color devoid of his flesh, and his hair looked drenched with sweat. I knew exactly what the blond was experiencing then, had dealt with this same situation far too often in the past... night terrors.
"N-no..." Edward pathetically whimpered, starting to thrash around more violently. "No, please - I'm sorry..." The blond's frightened, fragile voice broke my heart. I had no idea about what Edward was dreaming about, but I could take a few educated guesses; and none of the answers were too nice to think about.
I approached the blond slowly, not wanting to jar Ed awake too suddenly, because it might send him into a panic attack. I gripped Edward's shaking shoulders firmly, his skin feeling cold, and clammy to the touch. "Ed," I almost shouted the name, lightly jostling the blond in an attempt to break him free of his nightmare. "EDWARD!" I screamed again, when all the blond did was whimper in his sleep.
That did it, and golden eyes snapped open suddenly; but they were glassy, and filled with the one thing I rarely ever associated with Edward: fear. "I'm sorry," Ed sobbed, his gaze looking beyond me, and into the darkness. "Please... I'm so sorry... mom." Tears were falling freely from Edward's rich gold eyes, and he was still trembling like crazy; his chest heaving as he struggled to take a breath, eyes wide in fear. My stomach clenched at those words, because I knew exactly what that nightmare was then.
Ed had been re-living the night where he tried to bring back his mother through Human Transmutation... the night he lost more then he ever bargained for; the night he gave up what was left of his childhood innocence.
I brought Edward into a tight embrace, my fingers running through sweat damp blond hair in a soothing gesture. "It's okay Ed," I murmured against the blond's temple, "you're not there any more, it was just a bad dream... it's okay." After a few minutes, Ed began to calm down, the trembling finally coming to a stop. It was quiet between the two of us for a while, as I still caressed the blond to comfort him.
"Sorry 'bout that..." Edward mumbled, his eyes stuck staring at his slightly trembling hands.
I wanted to say that there was nothing to be sorry about, but knew that saying those words just might upset Edward further. So instead I opted to whisper, "Don't worry about it." Tears threatened to fall from Ed's eyes, but he fought them, managing to just sniffle a bit. He wouldn't meet my dark, penetrating gaze though, and it frustrated me; I knew it was because the blond didn't want to look weak in front of me. After all of these years, we were still playing our childish games, and I have had enough.
"Look at me," I ordered, using that tone of voice once reminiscent of the blond's commanding officer. Edward scowled, but lifted his eyes to meet mine. My harsh black eyes softened, once they met the blond's watery gaze. "You don't always have to be strong any more Ed, you're past all of that now. You restored what was lost, you won the war against the Gate. Right now, with me at least, you can be as weak as you need to be... I'll be strong enough for the both of us, and protect you. I promise."
For a moment, I thought that Edward was going to yell at me for suggesting even remotely that he was weak; so it caught me by total surprise, when the blond buried his face into my loose cotton shirt, and began to sob like a little child. "I'm sorry." Ed sobbed, his voice cracked in half, and left a shattered mess. The blond's strong arms wrapped around my waist, fingers clinging to my back like a life line. I felt guilty for thinking it, but I couldn't help but notice how right it felt.
I just let Ed cry, continuing my soothing gesture of carding through the blond's long, silky hair. It didn't last long though, probably because the elder Elric brother hated showing weakness. He pulled away far too soon for my liking, because quite honestly I enjoyed comforting Ed, it made me feel... needed, and I hadn't felt that way in a long time.
I blushed heavily, the thought of what I was going to ask of the blond was extremely embarrassing. "Could I... hold you a little longer? I just, want to have you close to me for now." Ed didn't say anything in return, he merely looked a little confused, but settled into my embrace regardless; his broad back pressed into my firm chest.
After a moments contemplation, I decided to kiss the top of Edward's golden head, and I inhaled the blond's scent greedily. He oddly smelled like fresh, sun ripened apples - the scent was so strong, I wondered if Ed just rolled around in them all day just to smell like that. It was a funny image, and it made me smile like a complete idiot.
"Are you sniffing my fucking hair?" Ed asked incredulously, tipping his head back and up to stare me in the face.
Well I thought there's no point in trying to weasel my way out of this one. I just smiled like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar and said, "Your hair smells like fresh apples, it's nice - but really weird... usually scented shampoos only smell vaguely like the advertised scent, so I was just curious."
A tiny smile curved Edward's sinfully sexy lips. "That's because you can't buy this kind of shampoo any where, it's some thing only Alchemy can make."
"Isn't that a little excessive? If I didn't know better, I'd say it's kind of gay of you Ed." I mocked, smirk looking absolutely devilish in the moonlight.
The blond in my lap nudged me harshly in the ribs. "Hey, don't stereotype, it makes you look like a dick. Besides I..." here Edward's voice softened, and a fleeting smile flitted across his lips. "... I have my reasons."
I tilted my head to the side, deep voice rumbling, "What do you mean by that, Ed?"
"She loved apples." The blond's voice was tender, his eyes brimming with reminiscence. "You see, Hohenheim used Alchemy to make her happy. It was always small things, like a ring of flowers or fixing some thing precious to her if one of us broke it. But, there was one thing in particular he would always do for her.
"The scent of fresh picked apples always reminded her of her home, her family before us. So Hohen- dad- he would use his Alchemy to combine a gel base, and the most concentrated form of apples, to make shampoo's or dish soap for her. Mom always said the smell reminded her of happy times... of home, of father. When I was scared, or angry, or just wanting some one to hold me - Mom would bring me into her arms, and hold me tight; and the smell of apples would surround me, as warm and comforting as a summer day."
Ed's gaze flew far away with his memories, but I didn't mind so much. Hearing stories from the blond's childhood made me feel special; feel included within the younger man's small circle of people he let close to his heart. A mocking laugh, accompanied by a wry smile altered Ed's gentle face. "In the end, it's just like my pocket watch. A subtle reminder of what I've lost. But... it's more than that. It's comfort when I'm scared, a way to keep her fresh in my memories. So, that's why my hair smells like apples... because it reminds me of home - it reminds me of her."
Gold eyes looked up, catching onto my molten onyx, the sweetest sadness reflected in our eyes. I knew how fragile, and broken Edward was - knew it from the moment I laid eyes on the kid all those years ago. To this day though, witnessing the younger man's heart ache only made me want to protect Ed; it made me want to hold the blond through the nightmares, until the morning light. It was hard, and completely wrong to admit, but I knew I had some sort of feelings for the former Alchemist - feelings I knew I shouldn't have - but they were there regardless, beating themselves senseless against my ribcage.
"It doesn't make you weak Ed," I murmured, resting my heavy head atop soft gold hair. "It makes you human." Edward sucked in a shuddery breath, and nodded mutely in response.
"I know that... and I know I'm not the only one who clings to some thing foolish, every one does it. For Winry it's her teddie bear her parents gave her, before they left for Ishbaal. For Al, he likes to plant Hydrangeas. And for me, I love the smell of sun ripe apples." The blond shifted in my arms wrapped loosely around him, to stare up into my dark eyes full of emotion.
I smiled, before I asked, "Why Hydrangeas?"
"Because Mom used to plant them all the time." Ed whispered, a faint smile upon his lips. "She said it made her feel closer to father, because it was like performing her own kind of Alchemy. Depending on the type of soil a Hydrangea is planted in, the color will be different, taking on the properties of the elements in the soil."
"I didn't know that... I just thought they came in different colors because people tamper with them through Alchemy." I felt a little ashamed of myself, but admitted it honestly.
Edward laughed then, and it was one of the brightest sounds I had ever heard. "Some Alchemist you are, almost every one knows that!"
I pouted at the blond's mocking tone, but gradually began to smile; because Ed's laughter was just a tad bit infectious. "Hey, I never said Science was my strong suit. I kinda just blow stuff up." That made Ed laugh even harder, tears of mirth gathering in his honey rich eyes.
After the blond's laughter died down, to a few giggles, and my face had settled back into a pout; Ed spoke, "Do you realize we've been sitting like this for almost an hour, and we have managed to not kill each other?" A crooked smile played havoc with the blond's shapely lips.
"Shit, you're right," my eyes were wide, a foolish look plastered across my face. "I guess miracles can come true..." I finished dryly. Ed scowled, and elbowed me in the ribs once more. "Hey," I coughed out, my side aching from the forceful jab, "what the hell was that for?!"
"I was trying to be serious, ass." A dark look settled across the blond's brow, making him look all broody, and pretty much normal again. He chewed his bottom lip, and it seemed like he wanted to say some thing else, but chose to bite back his words; and I saw right through it.
"You have some thing else on your mind, don't you Ed?" I stated it simply, because I really hated beating around the bush; it just took too much damn energy, especially concerning some one as spirited as the man resting against my chest. A big, red blush instantly heated up the blond's pale skin at the question, and it was a dead give away that he was hiding some thing. "C'mon Ed, you know I'm going to get the answer out of you one way, or another."
Edward huffed, crossing his arms defiantly, and turned his face to glare at the dark space beside us. "I don't have any thing to say to you, bastard." Defensive, profane, and fiery Ed was coming back; and it made me scowl. Oh well, I thought sadly to myself, all good things must come to an end. I wasn't going to give up without a fight though; and I proved that, by raking my fingers up the blond's side in the most ticklish of fashions.
"What the FUCK?!" Ed screeched, squirming around spastically, trying to escape my fingers.
"C'mon, I won't stop until you tell me what's on your mind, shorty." I was absolutely gleeful, as I tortured the poor blond with both actions, and words.
"WHO'ER YOU CALLIN' SO SMALL THEY COULD BE EATEN BY AN ANT, HUH?" Ed ranted, his temper flaring to dangerous heights; and he demonstrated this by smacking me in the face, wiping away my shit eating grin. That made me only try harder, so I slipped my hands under Ed's black tank top, and tickled his bare flesh. My fingers scittered along hard muscle, and puckered scars that I knew were extra sensitive. A breathy moan accidentally escaped Ed, and he clapped a hand over his traitorous mouth, a deep blush lighting up his cheeks.
I stopped instantly, staring wide eyed at the blond's flushed, frightened face. "Did you just..?" I trailed off, a little too embarrassed myself to finish that sentence. Tears welled up unexpectedly in bright gold eyes, and it caught me completely by surprise. Ed buried his face into his knee's, arms wrapping around his head.
"Shit," he exclaimed, scrunching in on himself in what seemed like protection. "You probably think I'm a freak or some thing, and I should just leave, because I fucking made this awkward between us and that's the last thing I wanted to do and-"
"Ed!" I interrupted, before the blond could continue to beat himself up further. Hesitantly, because I was afraid of Ed's reaction, I placed my hands on the man's arms; pulling them away so I could see his face. "I'm sorry, I went too far... okay?" I lifted the blond's quivering chin, so he would meet my gaze. Some thing crumbled then, behind those bright, tortured gold eyes; a violent sob falling from his mouth.
Ed looked so lost, so scared, so utterly ready to break. "I love you..." he whispered, his eyes scrunching closed, pain written heavily into every crease lining that gorgeous face. The confession made my heart stop, and it did a weird fluttery thing, like it was trying to catch up with time. Those three words kept ringing on a constant loop through my thoughts, I love you, I love you, I love you! I smiled so widely then, it hurt my cheeks, because I felt those words resonate so deeply in my soul; and they rang so purely in my own heart.
Strong hands, etched in scars dug by my own fingers, cupped Edwards tear stained face. Ed opened his eyes, confusion swimming through deep gold; until I descended my lips onto his own. It was one of the sweetest kisses I had ever experienced, even sweeter then the one I shared so many years ago with Maes, in a night of curious experimentation. It was wet, and it was warm; full of all the tenderness either of us had to offer. When we pulled apart, I smiled, pressing my forehead against the blond's.
"I love you too, Ed." My heart swelled as the words left my lips, to brush across Edward's skin. The younger man closed his eyes, sighing deeply, and slumping forward to rest his face against my chest.
"You better not be toying with me, bastard." He ground out, fingers tightening into the soft fabric of my shirt. " 'cuz if you are, I'm gonna chop off your dick, and keep it as a trophy." I paled at the thought, and didn't doubt for a second that the wicked little blond meant every word.
Fingers trailed through soft blond hair, as I replied, "I promise, I mean every word. It may seem like I wouldn't be serious, considering my reputation, but I would never say some thing that I didn't mean to you." My eyebrows knit themselves together, a gentle tenderness filling up my midnight colored eyes. "I don't know when it began, nor can I explain why I feel this way... but what I can say, is that I truly love you Edward."
A smile lit up the blond's face at long last, and he reluctantly twined his arms around my waist. "Yeah, I know what you mean. It's like, I just woke up one day and realized, 'Oh crap! I'm kinda in love with Central's biggest bastard...'" Edward smiled cheekily up at me, and I just rolled my eyes; a small smile quirking my lips none-the-less.
"You're a hopeless little brat, you do know that Ed?"
Edward glared, spitting out, "Don't say the L word... I am not afraid of punching you in the face, Roy." My eyes widened in shock, my mouth falling open just slightly. A fluttery, giddy feeling tumbled around in my stomach, because the blond called me by my first name; it equally shocked, and thrilled me to no end.
It was silent for a while, the both of us kind of smiling like infatuated idiots, and snuggling together; albeit a little warily, because neither of us were very open people. "So, um..." Ed trailed off, his cheeks flaring pink, a scowl on his face. "Are we um, like dating now? Or... I don't know - is this just like a one night thing?"
The question took me by surprise, but I didn't quite fault Ed for not fully believing in me... my womanizing reputation was rather infamous, even if it was mostly false. "O-of course we're together now. I mean, I'm not going to lie and promise you that this thing'll last, or if we will even make it a week before we want to kill each other... but, what I can promise, is that I'll give us a try. I want to make this work, because you mean a lot to me, Ed." In a display of utter bashfulness, he buried his face in my chest, but I could feel his lips splitting into a wide grin regardless.
He yawned heavily after a while, his eyes meeting mine; a precursor to the lips that now pressed against my mouth tenderly. This kiss was deeper than the first, a playful tongue prodding my lower lip; and I opened up willingly. It was languid, and lasted for a few minutes, before we broke apart. Ed stifled another yawn, and mumbled, "Gettin' sleepy..."
A faint blush warmed my cheeks, my throat becoming a little dry because I was embarrassed of the images that came to mind. Thoughts of Edward's limbs entangled in my own, as we passionately made love. Warm, wet kisses even deeper than the ones we've shared so far. Sleepy gold eyes greeting me in countless mornings, strong coffee; and the weight of his body always against my chest. I cleared my throat, and offered shyly, "You can come join me in my bed if you'd like. It's a lot more comfortable, a-and it'll be easier to cuddle that way."
"M'kay, sounds good." Ed mumbled cutely, gathering his blanket and pillow up, and I did the same.
Before we made our way up the stairs, to the comfort of my King sized bed, I turned back to face Ed; and I sucked in a shuddery breath. "Hot chocolate," I mumbled quickly, because I was embarrassed of this particular confession about myself. His quizzical stare made me feel a tad self-concious, until I realized that I needed to elaborate upon that rather vague statement. "When I was little, my Mom used to make me hot chocolate when I was sick, or when I woke up from a bad dream. To this day, it's one of the only things that can calm my nerves, or make me feel better."
A bittersweet smile possessed Ed's lips, a knowing glimmer swimming through his beautiful eyes. "Thanks, Roy." He approached me, and brushed warm fingers along the length of my arm. I nodded, not needing him to explain what he meant. I took his hand in mine, staring into his eyes. I never realized until that moment, how his eyes were like a shot of whiskey; and they warmed me up like a summer night. He pressed his lips against mine, his kiss absolutely intoxicating.
~Fin~
E/N: So I want to explain a couple things real quick, before I rant about how much fun I had writing this. First of all, my brother Beta read this and told me I should mention that my Head canon for Roy is that he likes men and women, because it confused him a bit, and might confuse you guys as well. I view Roy as a man who likes what he likes, regardless of gender. Second I shall mention that this will most likely have a second part, that will be more romantic and smutty. ;) It will also be in Edward's perspective, so I'm excited since I've never written through his view point. And thirdly, this was vaguely inspired by the song Intoxicated by The Cab, hence the title of the story.
It will take a while to post part two, because I have a couple Fullmetal Alchemist oneshots to work on, so please be patient. :) A lot of the weird quirks in this fic like Ed and his affinity for apples is all purely fictitious on my part, but I hope you all like the extra layers I added. I especially hope you loved this KissMeDeadlyT-T, because you are the one who inspired me to revisit my favorite fandom as a writer. I will always be the Roy, to your sexy Ed-ness ;)
And lastly, if you liked my writing style, or just want some thing new to read in the future, visit my profile and towards the bottom I have a list of 3 fanfictions that I can type up and post. If any of them interest you, let me know through a PM/Review, and I will take all of your choices into account.
Later taters ;D