It was summer and time for ice cream. The many children harkened their ears for the sound of the ice cream man's twinkle, twinkle truck as it sped past the useless trolley in the commons and stopped for everyone to enjoy. But then a pig squealed somewhere in the distance and scared all the kids away.
Was it the smell that got them? No, kids can usually handle pungent odors. Was it the oinking? Nah, kids like animal noises, especially mimicking them. So what, then, caused them to flee?
Upon hearing the squeals, the ice cream man floored it. He flew past the kids, sending them flying in every direction and thus emptying the streets save for the stampeding oinker.
The ice cream man drove his chiming truck of frozen goodness off a cliff where it exploded and destroyed the village at the base of the mountain. Ice cream flooded the valley, and as it melted, entered the forest, killing Bambi's mother. She had a chocolate allergy.
Bambi cried and then the pig came. Oinking and hoofing it through the toxic cream spill, he slurped up all the ice cream along with several woodland creatures n' things. Including Bambi.
Then the pig burped, but got indigestion as Bambi kicked him from the one-way slide ride down the small intestine.
"Stop kicking me!" oinked piggy Pence, who was incidentally human with pig-like superpowers (ie, the ability to oink and overindulge). He punched himself in the gut until Bambi went CRUNCH! And SPLURT! Pig boy burped again, hacking up a stick he had swallowed along with its Ninja Turtles popsicle. He then passed out from the noxious fumes levitating from his own GI tract.
While the pig was unconscious, Roo picked up the discarded stick—which was really a Pooh stick—and subsequently returned it to the Fellowship of the Pooh.
The end.