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Out of the Fire and Into the Fade

"Alistair!" she screamed. Solona bolted upright from her sleep and whispered her beloved's name once again. Her hair was soaked and her forehead was dripping with sweat despite the cool temperature of the inn's modest room. She quickly rose from her small bed, poured herself a small glass of whisky and walked over to her window in an attempt to calm her beating heart.

Outside of the small inn lay a courtyard surrounded by the dense Tevinter forest. She had stopped there for a few days to recover from the previous battle. It was still in the very early morning where the sun was just beginning to rise but had yet been able to penetrate the thick branches.

"It was only a dream." She told herself. Even as she spoke the words out loud she knew that it wasn't true. Alistair was in the fade physically. She saw them, all of them. Her beloved Alistair, her cousin Hawke, Varic, and two other mages. The latter she did not know, but assumed that one of them was most likely the newly appointed Inquisitor.

It had been four very long years since she has been in Alistair's presence, and every minute apart has been torture. Four years since she saw that awkward smile of his as he gave her a clumsy compliment, or the quick blush of embarrassment when he had been caught staring at her body. Four never ending years of yearning for the eagerness of his lips and commanding way his hands would manipulate her body in passion.

Seeing him in the fade she ran to him or ran through him would be the more apt expression. She tried to call out to him and embrace him; she even tried a mild thunderbolt spell him to see if it would give her a response but all of efforts proved useless. He couldn't see her. He did not know that she was even there. She watched as they navigated the fade, and went through their trials. Watched as the demon taunted the various party members to give into their desires or instill fear to prevent them from continuing further. She saw the Divine, or what was left of the Divine, guide them through to the rift and that monster block the exit.

Even though Alastair couldn't see her, she stayed by his side through the entire journey. She was prepared with a spell to defend him if he was caught off guard. His unspoken, unknown, silent protector. He was just as handsome as she remembered albeit it his smile did not quite reach his eyes, his sarcasm without it's fire, and he seemed rather tired or lost. It was when the inquisitor had to make the life or death decision that Solona had bolted from her sleep.

She finished her whisky and looked out of the window at the beginning of the new day and released a heavy sigh. Near the table she opened up a letter carrier and pulled a letter from nearly 3 months prior. The pages were well worn showing signs of multiple readings and stained with tears from her many nights alone. She read through the words on the page in his elegant hand as she played with the petals of rose between her fingers.

My Dearest Solona,

I hope my letter finds you well. I have been stationed in Weisshaupt for the time being and have been doing Grey Warden thingys. There really isn't a lot to do when there's no blight. Not that I want a blight or anything but it's so bland...kind of boring even. Warden Commander Clirel has added me to her list for the Warden Fort at Adament so I guess I will be looking forward to travelling…again... I'm not sure that I really want to go, the dust, the wind, the lack of water, being even more miles away from you. It just doesn't appeal to me….Nope..I can't say that I really want to stay here either the wine is always bitter or the cheese is just blah….You know how I am about my cheese.

Do you think anyone would notice if we just ran away? We can go torture Anora and pay a visit to Denirm! You know how much she loves it when we pass through Denirm. I think she's jealous of the flowers you get….especially the crown of flowers that little Lady Catherine placed on your head the last time. You didn't see the look that she gave you but she was definitely unhappy. However she's probably envious of your remarkable beauty and how the world adores you.

I miss you my love, and it gets harder every passing day. It's been ages since I have been able to run my fingers through your long blonde curls and cover your lips with my own. My hands yearn to mold your body to mine and I would love nothing more than to have my fingers work your core until you scream my name in ecstasy.

The first thing I'm going to do the next time I see you is tear your clothes from your body and sheath myself into your softness continuously until we both pass out from exhaustion. Everyone else be damned.

Not a day goes by that you are not in my thoughts especially after the contents of your last letter. I'll have you know, my delightfully devious mage, that I had to take no less than 3 cold dips in the ice lake just to be somewhat comfortable…and then I was confined to bed with sickness for the next two weeks (It might not have been my smartest idea to take the cold dips in the middle of winter.)

Keep writing to me my love, your letters are the only thing that gets me through the day with hopes that the next one will find you in my arms.

As always my heart is yours to command,

Alistair

P.S Enclosed is something that I had made special for you to commemorate 10 years since I gave you your first. I can't wait to see you wearing it… and nothing else.

Solona wiped the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand and grasped the ruby red rose pendant that hung from her neck. He must have contacted his uncle Arl Eamon to craft the piece of jewelry; Grey Warden keeps are usually devoid of jewelers. She had never owned a fine piece of jewelry and that it was a gift from Alistair made it even more special.

It has been 10 years since the shy stuttering young Alistair comparted her beauty to a red rose in the glow of the campfire light. Upon receiving the gift and her and Alistair's first kiss, she rushed straight to her tent and completed a freezing spell upon the flower to forever preserve its beauty. Whenever she and Alistair were apart she wore the rose in her hair as a symbol that only they, and a few close friends knew. It ended up serving two purposes, her command always knew how to find her and she felt close to him when she would go into battle alone.

Solona paced back and forth in her room trying to decide what to do. Duty told her that she should return to Weisshaupt and report what she had discovered about the cure of the calling, but after her recent trip in the fade she needed to know what happened to Alistair.

Her thoughts continued back to her dream of seeing them fight the demon in the fade. Whom did the Inquisitor choose? Has Alastair already been sacrificed? What has become of him? Of Hawke? As much as she tried she couldn't be angry with the Inquisitor even though she wanted to be. At several points in her own quest she had to make the difficult choice which sometimes ended in someone's death or some other major tragedy. If given the choice who would she have chosen to live Alastair or Hawke? Her heart would have chosen Alistair, but losing her cousin wasn't really a wholesome option either.

Gently putting Alistair's letter back into the pouch with the others, she decided to pack everything up and move out. She removed her long nightshirt another keepsake of Alistair's. At first she wore it because it held his scent and when she slept in it she felt like she was once again lost in his embrace. Now she wore it mostly out of comfort his scent long since washed away over the past few years but it was something of his.

She dressed herself in her imperium style mages robes. They were tightly fitted to her body having a neckline that dipped into deep V in front showing off more of her breasts that she would normally be comfortable with. On more than one occasion she had caught the First Warden, or one of her fellow wardens' gaze fixated on her chest, but as women are in short supply in the warden's she didn't pay it any mind. Alistair however on more than one occasion immediately joined her in conversation or possessively slid his arm around her waist throwing professionalism to the wind and publically claiming her as his.

She could pick other means of clothing but the stealth and the agility advantage that the outfit gave her outweighed the male warden's wandering eyes. She also secretly revealed in seeing Alistair become so possessive and jealous, it was just another reminder to her of how much he loved her.

She washed and fixed her hair and let her blonde curls cascade down her back and then placed her trademark red rose in her hair. She looked in the mirror, made sure that she had all of her belongings and made all preparations to leave.

Gathering up her supplies she slipped on her grey warden cloak, and headed out to her horse and Captain Raymond. She brought a small crew with her into the Tiventer forest and she was glad that they were up and ready to go as well.

"We are prepared for the travel to Weisshaupt Warden Commander." Raymond stated. There was a faraway look in the Solona's eyes before she first looked toward the sea and then towards the mountains, and back again.

"Change of plans Captain Raymond." She ordered mounting her horse Starlight without faltering in her commands.

"We are heading to Skyhold." She declared and set her horse into a fast gallop.

And it begins