Judgement Error
Summary: In which Lucifer tries to get his vessel to say 'yes' and Sam just wants some chocolate. Fem!Sam One-Shot
Word Count: 609
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Dean Winchester could not have been more relieved as he pulled the Impala into a parking space in front of the convenience store. His little sister had been groaning and whining for an hour straight and he was almost to the point of pulling over and slamming his head into a road sign. Sam jumped out of the car and raced into the store. Dean followed behind cautiously as she dashed to the candy aisle, searching desperately for what she wanted- no, needed.
To both of their dismay, the boxes of what she craved were completely cleared out. A man stood near, candy wrappers littered around his feet. As another dropped to the ground, Sam's eyes snapped up and took in the last chocolate bar still held in his hands. He grinned as he met her eyes.
"Hello there Samantha," Lucifer greeted. "It's-"
To his shock, he was cut off as the woman shoved past him to look in a box, only to find it was also empty. Her eyes glided back to the wrapper scattered around his feet and fury blazed across her face.
"How dare you?!" Samantha Winchester screamed.
Dean smirked at the look of pure confusion on the fallen archangel's face. He had absolutely no clue what had happened to his vessel. Was it a drug deal gone bad? But Lucifer was fairly certain the Winchesters didn't do drugs…
Snapping out of it, Lucifer replied, "Samantha, don't you think it's time you stop denying your true desires and just-"
The devil was cut off once again by the raging woman, "Don't you dare start this sh*t up again! My name is Sam, not Samantha. NO, I will not be your freaking vessel and if you don't hand over that chocolate right now, you will regret it for the rest of your existence."
"Oh but Sam, it's really not that bad-" Dean winced at the wording Lucifer chose but could not bring himself to feel any sympathy for the devil.
"IT'S NOT THAT BAD?! HA! YOU TRY BLEEDING HEAVILY FOR A WEEK STRAIGHT AND BEING TOLD IT'S PERFECTLY NATURAL SO DON'T WORRY BUT YOU'RE FREAKING BLEEDING AND I JUST WANT SOME DAMN CHOCOLATE BUT YOU GODDAMN FREAKING ATE IT ALL AND IF YOU DON'T GIVE THAT BAR TO ME RIGHT NOW SO HELP ME I WILL FIND A WAY TO RIP OFF YOUR BALLS AND SHOVE THEM DOWN YOUR THROAT AND HANG YOU BY YOUR OWN INTESTINES!" Sam then took a second to calm her breathing as she held out a hand for the candy bar.
Lucifer stared in horror and Dean's smirk grew. He knew he taught that girl right. And her anger was finally directed at someone else. Sweet relief, however brief it was.
Sam grew impatient after a minute and gave Lucifer the ultimate bitchface. He shoved down the urge to move far away from his vessel and silently gave the chocolate to her before the flapping sound started and he disappeared.
Sam ripped open the package and a blissful smile planted itself on her face as she bit into the bar. She moaned happily as she took another bite and Dean approached cautiously.
"Well," Dean cleared his throat. "I think that got him off our backs for the next few months. You ready to go?"
"Good," Sam growled before cheering up as she took another heavenly bite. "Let's go kill things."
Dean shuddered as Sam walked ahead and slapped a couple dollars on the counter where a baffled check-out clerk was sitting. The guy behind the counter sent a scared look to Dean who shrugged and followed his sister out of the store.