This is a Phantom of the Opera story I wrote for my friend, phantomphan1992. It's set in the year 2007 because we have Wal-Mart's. If you don't like completely random stories, swearing, and bizarreness I suggest you turn back now. NOW! Those of you brave and, or, stupid enough to stay, all I can say to you is, have fun.

It was a bright and sunny morning. The birds were singing happy tunes outside of a window. Inside one a bedroom of a snappy little apartment slept a dark haired girl. Her name was Christine and she was very happy to be alive this morning. Well, that is until she went into her bathroom to get ready for the day.

A loud scream pierced the quiet morning air. Erik and Raoul, whom had been forced to share a room, looked at the door. "Christine!" the yelled in unison. Erik came out of the closet, feeling rather naked with out a cloak, and ran out the door. Raoul was in so much of a hurry to beat him there he forgot that he was sitting on the top bunk of their bunk bed and he crashed onto the floor. But he wasn't hurt very much. That was because he was protected by the power of love.

They ran across the wooden floor, pushing each other back to get to Christine, who was still screaming. "Christine!" Erik threw open the door. Sadly, it was the door to a closet. "Fuck! Not again!" He had to beat Raoul to Christine. Raoul was already almost there. "No, stop you fiend!" Raoul turned around to face Erik. He stuck his tongue out.

Raoul was about to stop at the door, but his legs kept moving. I knew I shouldn't have gotten the floor waxed, he said to himself as he slid along the floor. He passed the door and ran into a fall. As Raoul picked himself up from the ground, he saw that stupid phantom was going to beat him to Christine. "Erik, help me!" he yelled over Christine's shrieks. He held his hand out. "We should go together just incase if it's something bad." Erik thought about this, but then nodded and went over to help Raoul.

"Now I can beat him to Christine! That fool! Is he that stupid to fall into my trap?" Raoul thought out loud. "God my face fucking hurts. Is my nose bleeding?"

Erik punched Raoul square in the nose. "It is now."

"What was that for?"

"You told me your plan, you idiot."

Raoul swore to himself. "You weren't supposed to hear that! That was supposed to be a soliloquy!"

Erik did beat Raoul to the door, but it was only by like one third of a second (Well, that's what Raoul said). "Christine, what's wrong?"

Christine stopped screaming. "My hair! Look at it!" Christine exclaimed in distressed voice. Strangely, her voice wasn't cracked after all of her screaming.

"Why, what's wrong it?"

"Look at it!" There was something wrong with it. All of Christine's curls were limp and icky like an over used bathroom mat. "It's hideous!"

"You can never be hideous."

"Thank you Raoul." Raoul smiled smugly. Erik glared at him. "And I am out of shampoo! What ever shall I do?" Christine thought about this. "I know. Since you two are staying here for free and I am paying all of the rent, then one of you can go buy me a new bottle of shampoo."

"I'll go!"

"No, pick me! I love you more!"

"You do not!"

The boys began to argue who loved Christine more. Christine started to get annoyed because she really didn't love either of them. Her heart belonged to Tom Cruise but he was not here to buy it and he had gone a little of the rocker. So she had to settle for these two.

"Ok!" Christine shrieked in a rare off key voice. Raoul and Erik shut their mouths. "You both can go. But I need you to get rose scented Herbal Essence shampoo."

"I like roses."

"And where will we find this Herbal Essence?" Erik asked.

"The cheapest and fasted place is Wal-Mart. The car keys are on the hook in the kitchen. Now hurry! My hair is dieing!"

The boys ran out. "It'll be ok, Christine! I'll save your chocolate curls!" Erik called as he left the room.

They got into the Cadillac. Raoul was the one who got to drive. They had to play rock paper scissors to get to pick who got to drive. Raoul won with the tricky paper. But we all know that game is a bunch of bullshit because there is no way paper can beat rock.

Since Raoul was driving, Erik got to control the radio. His favorite song, We Fly High by Jim Jones, came on. Erik began to sing.

"We fly high. No lie, you know this."

"Ballin'!" Raoul sand along.

"Foreign rides, outside, its like showbiz."

"We stay fly. No lie, you know this. Ballin! Hips and thighs. Stay focused!" they sang together. And for one beautiful moment they forgot that they were enemies and that they were driving. Thankfully that moment ended because they almost ran over a poor little squirrel. Raoul slammed on the brakes and let is cross the street safely. They went back driving and singing.

"Slow Down. Here tonight could be gone tommorow."

"One chance!"

"So I speed through life like there's not tomorrow."

"Speedin'."

"Look out!"

"Flossy!"

"No, I mean look out you dumb fuck!"

"Oh!" Roual exclaimed. They were about to run over an old lady. He swerved out of the way just in time.

"You douche bags! Watch where you're going!" she yelled at them. Erik leaned out the window and gave her the finger.

"Stupid hoe, she don't know what's up, yo."

"Yeah, fuck haters."

They reached Walmart. They were a little startled, yet mistified, by the automatic doors. Once they got inside, they felt even more confused. It was so big and there were so many things. How were they going to find any shampoo for Chirtine's beautiful choclately curls?

"Aw fuck," Erik siad. "What did we get ourselves into?"

And that's all. This will be a three part story or maybe four. I know, it's stupid. But it's a story for my beta, who I love very much. I hope you enjoyed it. Flames are accpeted too. There is nothing you can say to make me feel offended, they make me laugh. Thanks for reading and or reviewing.

With Love,

CT