Fire. Ashes. Blood. Death.
The images are burned into her brain, hounding her dreams. If only they were just nightmares and not memories. Maybe then she would be able to forget them and not have them plague her very being until the point of utter exhaustion.
Ricocheting bullets. Gunfire. Screams. Pain. Hopelessness. Calls for help. More and more death.
She is once more awakened by a fellow soldier who heard her crying out softly during the night. The face of her friend asks questions wordlessly, but they are left unanswered as she shrugs it off and rises silently.
Fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of what's attacking. Fear of the end.
The vivid memory of her fear makes bile rise in her throat as she pulls on her blue fatigues and exits the barracks. The silence in the station's hallway is welcome. It's a nice reprieve from the noise of the memory. It is also a curse, though. A curse that cannot chase away the remnants of what her sleeping body experienced when her unconscious self tore her to shreds with the past.
At first it was fight. Then it was flight. Now only she remains. A lone soldier in the dark with the bodies of her unit scattered behind her.
The door dings softly as it closes behind her. Now she is standing in the observatory; the vast window stretching out in front of her; the stars sparkling and shimmering against the inky black void of space.
Cold.
She walks closer to the window, placing her hands on its chilled, smooth surface. Gooseflesh appears on her arms as the cold rushes through her. "Get out of there!" she sighs, banging her head lightly against the window. Echoes of the screams flicker through her ears to mock her feeble attempt to cast out what she remembers.
They have an iron grip on her, the memories. They dictate her every move, every thought, every action and reaction. Her memories, her past experiences, shaped her into the woman she was now. A survivor.
"Was it Akuze last night, Commander, or Mindoir?"
Commander Alice Shepard, N7, of the Systems Alliance was staring intently at the food her and her fellow soldiers had been served for breakfast. The man who had served it, Taylors, said it was oatmeal today, but it didn't smell or taste like it. Instead, it smelled...warm, cooked, and was a flavorless mush that was like the gruel you hear slavers give to their property.
"Neither, but both," Shepard answers blackly.
"You love speaking in riddles, don't you?"
"It's what I'm good at."
"That and kicking ass," Her friend says teasingly. It's the same friend that woke her up from the nightmares last night.
"And you only seem to be good at eating the so called food the Alliance gives us, Rogers," Shepard teases back.
Rebecca Rogers had been a friend of Shepard's since she was sixteen, when she was forced to move from her home on Mindoir to Earth. Rogers nearly knew everything about her friend except for what went on in her head most of the time and enjoyed picking on her superior almost as much as Shepard enjoyed the company. They were a close pair, but a silent rule was shared between them, one that had been established when they first met: don't ask questions, make inferences, or discuss each others' past. That didn't mean, however, that they didn't open up to one another about their past. It just meant that they had a right to go silent if their friendly talking touched a few nerves or got too personal. Shepard exercised this right much more religiously than Rogers, who found it easy and better to talk about her rare, unsettling things of the past.
Shepard eyed her friend. She was a tall, lanky woman with long black hair slicked back into a ponytail, regulation style. Her skin was always a dark tan no matter how little UV rays they got at any given point on this station. Frankly, Rogers looked like she was more limb than anything else. She was the tallest woman on the entire station, and that's saying something considering how many soldiers were actually assigned here at the moment. She was also taller than most of the men. Rogers had shinning emerald eyes that always had a gleam to them, either of mischief or sarcasm. Right now, however, Rogers's eyes had a hungry gleam to them as she frequently glanced at the food Shepard had hardly touched.
"You want my food," Shepard said, motioning to the tray in front of her with the still steaming oatmeal on it, "give me your coffee card, and it's yours."
"You drive a hard bargain, Shepard," Rogers said, a torn look spreading across her face, "but you have a deal." Rogers fished out her coffee ration card from her pocket and hurriedly handed it to Shepard. As soon as the transaction had been completed, Rogers snatched up Shepard's tray, sending silverware flying, and began to tear ravenously into the food.
Shepard rose from the table and walked over to the food line. The occasional FNG would pass her and salute mid step for her before continuing on their way. Commander Shepard commanded a lot of respect on this station, even from those of higher rank. It comes with the territory and the things she has accomplished.
Taylors had his back turned to her when she stood at the food line. He was messing with some of the controls on a panel connected to what looked like an oven. Taylors was completely oblivious to Shepard, and although Shepard was an extremely patient person and could outwait anything and everything, this was coffee and Shepard's lifeline when it came to getting through the day. So, she shamelessly cleared her throat loudly to get Taylors attention.
"Oh, Commander," Taylors said breathlessly, "I didn't see you there!" his salute emphasizing his apologetic tone.
Shepard simply nodded at him, not believing that words needed to be said at the moment.
"So..." he continued, feeling awkward, "what can I do for you, ma'am?"
The ration card was between her first and middle fingers and Taylor's recognized the red color signifying it was for coffee. Not that he needed the color to tell what it was for. He had run through this routine with the Commander for what seemed like hundreds of times.
"You know as well as I do that one coffee card will only fill half of that thermos of yours you seem to love to use so much."
Shepard smirked with a raised eyebrow before spreading her fingers enough to show Taylors she had two, her own ration card and the one that she had traded Rogers for.
"Managed to get the begging puppy to give you her coffee card in return for your food again, huh?" Taylors chuckled.
"That's not nice," Shepard said lightheartedly, handing over the ration cards, "calling a fellow soldier a 'begging puppy.'"
"That's all she seems to be whenever you're around with food," Taylors replied, smiling. "One sec." Taylors turned around and disappeared through one of the door that leads to the kitchen to grab her thermos and fill it coffee.
Shepard shifted her weight onto one leg as she waited, crossing her arms as well. No doubt Taylors was mixing in extra sugar and the "extra caloric powder" that she was forced to take due to her "apparent disregard for food." All of these instructions had been passed down from a multitude of doctors and psychiatrists she had seen after Akuze. None of them had realized that if the Alliance served food that was actual food, she would eat it...maybe. The truth was, though, that she didn't really like eating. Sure she would eat when she was hungry, but she just wasn't hungry anymore; and when she did eat, that fact that she didn't practice good eating habits meant that she could never eat very much without getting full really quickly.
All of these facts she had pointed out to most of the doctors, and all of them still thought it hazardous since she was a biotic. And since there job wasn't to make things more practical and more efficient, the doctors decided that they were going to have the chefs on all the stations and ships that Shepard is assigned to slip extra sugar and calorie powder into everything she receives, i.e. coffee, food, even water. Maybe that was why Rogers was always bouncing off of the walls, along with every other surface, whenever she cleaned up after Shepard. She was sugar high.
"Here you go, Commander," Taylors said, reentering with Shepard's coffee and a couple of high calorie energy bars.
"Thanks, Taylors," Shepard smiles, grabbing the coffee, savoring the warmth emanating from the thermos and flowing through her hands. She hesitated in grabbing the energy bars, though. Those awful things tasted worse than anything the Alliance could send in rations. They tasted like burnt oats, and how people, or machines, could even manage to recreate that flavor in an energy bar was an incredible feat that shouldn't be accomplished.
Reading her hesitation Taylors spoke up, "Commander, with all due respect, those energy bars may taste like shit, but they are the only thing keeping your blood sugar at the right levels for what biotics, like yourself, need."
"Well, you've got the 'taste like shit' part right," Shepard grumbled, finally taking the energy bars from Taylors.
"Look on the bright side, at least they keep you from starving yourself," Taylors said with a smile.
"I don't starve myself," Shepard said with a smirk. "I protect myself from getting food poisoning from the...food you serve."
"Wait...I serve food?"
Laughing Shepard walked back over to Rogers, who was now sitting in front of an empty spot; trays, food, and silverware missing. "Jesus, Rebecca! When I told you, you could have what was left on my tray, I didn't expect you to eat the damn thing along with the fork and spoon!"
"Ha-ha! Very fucking funny!" Rogers said with feigned laughter, throwing her ugly beret at Shepard instead of wearing it like she was supposed to.
Shepard caught it before it hit her and gave Rogers her crooked smile before sitting back down in front of her, tossing it to onto the table. She opened up one of the high calorie energy bars. She had a method as to how to get these things down without tasting them too much. First, she would take a swig of her coffee, letting its warm deliciousness numb her mouth before she would take a huge bite out her the energy bar. Then, she would take a quick sip of her coffee to help wash down the dryness of them as well. After that, It was just a simple matter of repeating the process until none of the energy bars were left, and if she was lucky, some of her coffee would be left so that she could enjoy the rest of it without needing to use it in order to keep her from gagging.
"So, word on the street is that tomorrow you get go and enjoy the pleasantries of the elusive 'Shore Leave,'" Rogers said, envy just barely tingeing her words.
"Funny, I didn't there were any streets around here...maybe I just miss them or they're hidden in plain sight." Shepard took a deep sip of here coffee, the sugar making her hands tingly. Today she got lucky enough to have some left over from her energy bar routine.
"Damn it, Alice. Stop playing games about questions pertaining to you for a moment and give me a straight answer," Rogers snapped, annoyed with how her friend always dodged her questions.
"Last I looked, that's not how you address your commanding officer, Gunnery Chief Rogers," Shepard fired back, stressing her words in feign annoyance. "Perhaps you should address me properly and remember you don't get to make demands of me."
"I—I'm sorry, Commander Shepard. I meant no offense," Rogers' resignation to losing their argument was about as fake as soldiers from the First Contact War saying that they love turians. It just wasn't true, real, or logical.
"And yes, I do start my shore leave tomorrow," Shepard smirked, watching her friend shoot daggers at her through narrowed eyes.
"Lucky bastard!" Rogers chuckled.
"Not so lucky. I get to teach the Fucking New Guys how to shoot a sniper rifle, and most of them have such a extreme case of hero worship that they'll probably forget which end the bullets come out of and shoot themselves. Or some other similar form of stupidity."
"Yeah, FNG's are a real pain to deal with," Rogers snickered with mock sympathy. "I changed my mind, I don't envy you anymore."
"I'll be sure to send you a post card from the beaches when I get down to Earth."
"Bitch."
"Fat ass."
"God, you're such a terrible friend."
"God, you're such an annoying friend."
"Drinks when you get back?"
"Hell yeah there'll be drinks!" Shepard laughed. "What kind of friend would I be if I didn't treat you to drinks when I got back?"
"A normal one?"
"Do you honestly think I was ever normal or will ever be normal?"
"No..."
"That's what I thought."
With that, the two friends rose simultaneously from their table and went to go do their duties. Shepard glanced over her shoulder at Rogers before heading to the armory. She hadn't told her what she was going to be doing. No doubt it involved her being a pain in someone's ass...albeit that she didn't do it intentionally. It was just her personality, one that Shepard took for granted.
"We can't just haul her back now that she finally got some well deserved, completely overdue shore leave, sir."
"What would you have me do, Anderson? We need her-humanity needs her."
"I understand that, sir, but at least have it be more than a simple call. She deserves something more personal than that," Captain Anderson sighed.
"It sounds like you have something in mind."
"Allow Lieutenant Alenko and I to go and deliver the news of her reassignment personally, sir."
"Very well, Captain. If you truly want to be on the receiving end of telling someone their shore leave is cancelled, then by all means, have at it," Admiral Hackett replied.
"Aye, aye, sir."
"A question before you go, though: why do you intend to bring the Lieutenant with you?"
"There are reports that she can be violent at times," Anderson answered hesitantly. "I might need someone to pull her off me in case she really doesn't like the fact that she's been reassigned."
"Smart thinking, Captain. Hackett out," with that Admiral Hackett cut off the transmission, leaving Captain Anderson with static before he also closed the transmission on his end as well.
Anderson sighed, removing his cap and running his hand over his smooth head. Everything was becoming complicated now that the SSV Normandy had been completed. Soldiers were being shipped in from different stations and now he finds out that a Specter was going to be on board as well, Nihlus. And on top of that, somehow it got leaked that Commander Shepard was going to be assigned to the Normandy as well, and all the others stationed here were asking all sorts of questions about the Specter and the Commander.
"I certainly don't envy her," Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko said from behind the Captain. Anderson had allowed him to eavesdrop on the transmission between him and Admiral Hackett since he was being volunteered to help him drag the Commander away from her shore leave. "Finally receiving shore leave, only to be reassigned the first day in."
"Well, we better head out, if we're lucky, we'll find her before she gets on her ship to Earth."
"I don't think that's going to be lucky, sir."
"For us or for her?
"It's probably for both, sir."
"I'm glad that I'm taking you with me then, Lieutenant," Andersons said. "Meet me at the shuttle."
"Aye, aye."
Shepard had drifted off, leaning against her duffle bag that was propped up in the corner of the bench. She had made it through customs and was now waiting at the terminal for the shuttle that would take her where she needed to go. Getting through customs had taken all of twenty minutes, and she now had to wait five hours for her shuttle. Delay's were not something people told you about until it was ten minutes before you needed to get on the shuttle, and that irked her just a little bit.
Something was nudging her leg, and Shepard woke with a start. Her eye's snapped open, the bright light of the terminal blinding her for a moment. Blurry and fuzzy images were all that she saw for a little bit before she made out a little boy in front of her. He had shaggy, red hair and muddy brown eyes that sparkled with innocence. When he noticed that he woke Shepard up he took a step back.
A smile tugged at Shepard's lips as she looked at the little boy. "Hey," she said quietly.
"Are you a soldier?" he asked, pointing at Shepard's chest.
Looking down, Shepard saw that he was pointing at the silver tags that hung loosely around her neck, "I guess I am," she replied, continuing to smile at the boy.
"Mommy says soldiers are scary," the boy added dryly. "But you don't look that scary."
Shepard shook her head slightly. She got the whole "fear of soldiers" thing a lot. Apparently just keeping on her tags were enough to cause people to take notice. "Well, I'm glad that I don't."
"My name's Tristan," he said, extending a hand.
"Commander Alice Shepard," she chuckled, taking his hand.
Tristan's eyes got real big when she heard her say the word commander. He was completely shocked. "You're really a commander!"
"Mhm. It took a lot of hard work to get there, but I am."
"Wow...! That's so cool!"
"I think so too," Shepard said, smiling harder than she had in days. This little boy's enthusiasm was just so adorable.
"Do you think I could become a commander when I grow up?" Tristan asked in awe. Becoming a commander in the Alliance military seemed like the coolest thing in the world to him now.
"If you really want to and work at it, you sure could."
"I'm gonna be the bestest commander the galaxy has ever seen!" Tristan exclaimed.
"I bet you will," Shepard said, playing into the boy's fantasy, "and when you do, will you mention me in your big speech when they honor you with the award of being the bestest commander in the entire galaxy?"
"Of course, Commander, you can count on me!" Tristan threw in a cute little salute that was the complete opposite of professional, and Shepard could barely contain her laughter.
"Tristan! Where have you run off to now?"
"I'm right here, Mommy!"
"Oh, there you are," Tristan's mother said. Shepard pegged her to be in her late twenties, early thirties. She had brown hair and the same muddy brown eyes as her son. She was wearing a fancy dress that reeked of Citadel, of wealth. The way she carried herself was enough to tell that she thought she was better than everyone else, especially a lowly Alliance soldier. The sneer she wore on her face resembled one you would give when looking at someone with gaudy jewelry or tattoos. Shepard's blood boiled as she looked at this woman who wore that sneer and was directing it at her.
"Mommy, this is Alice. She's a commander! Isn't that cool?" Tristan said, tugging at her dress.
"You don't say..." the look on this woman's face changed from a sneer to something that said, "stay the hell away from my son you brain washing monster."
"She's in the Alliance just like Daddy was!"
"Daddy was only a lieutenant, sweetie. He was never valued enough to become a commander."
Ouch. Shepard winced at her words. Past tense sentences when describing Daddy told her that he wasn't among the living any more. "It wasn't easy for me to become a commander, Tristan. I'm not even sure what I did to become one."
"I don't care how hard it is! I'm gonna be a commander and make Daddy proud!" Tristan shouted.
Shepard was practically willing Tristan to stop talking about it, to drop the whole thing. His mother already didn't like her because she was an Alliance soldier, now she hated Shepard because it sounded as if she had brainwashed her kid into wanting to join the military.
Tristan's mother looked horrified at what her son was saying. "D—don't say those things Tristan."
"Why not, Mommy? Don't you want me to be like Daddy?"
"How old are you, kid?" Shepard asked, cutting off whatever his mother was going to say next.
"I'm seven," he answered dutifully, looking proud at how old he is.
"Well, will you promise me something? You stick by your mother and watch out for her until you're eighteen, ok?"
"Why?"
"Because your mother loves you very much, and you aren't allowed to join the Alliance 'til you're eighteen," Shepard explained, hoping to dissuade him from rushing off to the military, even though that's what she had done. "Don't worry, I'll hold down the fort 'til you are old enough to join, but I need you to put some serious thought into it and to talk to your mother about it as well."
"Oh, ok, I guess," Tristan sighed as he looked down at his feet, tracing a circle with his foot.
"Will you promise me that, Tristan?"
Yeah, ok. I promise," he said with a beaming smile.
"Good."
Shepard looked at Tristan's mother. Her sneer had been wiped off completely and her eyes and face were set a little softer when she looked at the soldier. "Thank you," she mouthed before actually saying, "Well, I would like to know the name of the commander who will be 'holding down the fort' for my son, so I know who I need to thank later."
"The name's—"
"Commander Shepard!" A booming voice snapped, grabbing everyone's attention. Shepard turned to see two more Alliance soldiers walking towards her. One who was dressed in the blue fatigues you wore when off duty and when you weren't getting shot at. The other was in more classy blue outfit. It was a uniform meant for parades, significant occasions, or any other time in which you needed to look fancy but still had to have on something that identified you as Alliance. The medals on the shoulder of the soldier with the classy uniform showed that he was a captain, and she immediately snapped into a salute, cursing herself for changing into more casual clothes before she even got on her ship.
"Commander Shepard," the Alliance captain repeated, now that he stood next to Tristan and his mother, "I need to speak with you."
Dread filled Shepard as her hand dropped to her side. She nodded at the captain before looking back over at Tristan's mother. "My name is Alice Shepard."
"Well, it was a pleasure to meet you Commander Alice Shepard," The mother said before taking her little boy's hand. "Come along Tristan. It sounds like these soldiers need the Commander for something important."
"Awww...alright," Tristan whined. "See you later, Commander," he said, changing from whining to enthusiasm almost immediately. He was waving goodbye even after his mother was dragging him away.
Shepard smiled sweetly at him, returning his frantic waving goodbye with a wave of her own.
Kaidan was struck by how casual the Commander looked standing there, talking with a couple of civvies. You wouldn't have been able to tell she was an Alliance soldier save for the fact that she wore her tags around her neck. She was wearing light blue pants, maybe some vintage jeans from back before the First Contact War. A dark, black leather jacket hung on her shoulders, and the bottom didn't even reach her hips. A red halter top was underneath the jacket. Her entire outfit accented her pale white skin. It could be compared to ivory it was so white.
All in all, Shepard looked like a complete badass from where Kaidan was standing, and he was a little intimidated by her. People had said that she had violent tendencies. He was hoping that he wouldn't have to experience that first hand.
So, it was a bit of a surprise to Kaidan when he saw Shepard's face. It was soft with two bright, icy blue eyes that looked as if they could cut through anything; and her long, golden hair framed her face, making her eyes even more intense. And when she smiled at the little boy she had been talking to, she seemed to radiate kindness, not the badass, violent person, her choice in clothes screamed she was.
Something stirred in Kaidan's gut when he looked as Shepard. He couldn't explain what it was.
As soon as Shepard had smiled and waved goodbye, her smile vanished as she turned all her attention to the Captain and the other soldier.
"Commander, there is something important that I need to tell—"
"Just tell me where I've been reassigned to, please, sir," Shepard cut in, tired of how all the higher ups thought that they needed to give excuses for taking away shore leave.
Both the captain and the other soldier looked surprised at Shepard. They clearly had been expecting some resistance, some sort of annoyance from her on this matter.
When the captain wasn't forthcoming with information, the other soldier supplied it for him, "You've been reassigned to the SSV Normandy as of now. Your shore leave's been cancelled, and you need to come with us."
His voice danced in Shepard's ears, and she couldn't explain why, but she loved his voice. It was gruff and manly, but not overbearingly so. It also was calm and collective. She knew that she was going to like working with him. Her face or stance didn't change though. Shepard stood rigid and tall (even though she wasn't very tall) as if at attention. She had no expression betraying how she felt about the reassignment. "I knew that there would never be shore leave for me almost immediately after I signed up," she sighed, dropping her eyes just a little.
Captain Anderson picked up on the tell tale. She was disappointed in the fact that she had had her shore leave yanked away from her once more. "I'm sorry, Commander, but the Alliance needs you."
"That's the same thing they said to me before Akuze, sir, and that didn't turn out so well," Shepard said, wincing at her own words as the name 'Akuze' brought up things she didn't want to remember.
Anderson flinched at her words as well. When a soldier brought up their scars willingly, it meant that they didn't believe they had anything worth living for. Now that he heard Shepard say that, he could see in the way she moved that she was haunted by Akuze. When she moved to retrieve her bag, she moved with a fast sluggishness. She was moving quickly, but just slow enough to show pain and sorrow. Kaidan couldn't tell anything was wrong with her though, just that she used Akuze as an example and maybe as a reminder. Anderson was able to pick up more because he was more experienced than both Shepard and Kaidan.
"Then let's hope that we don't have another Akuze on our hands," Anderson said like he was barking a command.
"We won't," Shepard forced out through a clenched jaw.
That was determination built off of guilt. Kaidan and Anderson could see that. The firm set of her jaw, her shoulders raised ever so slightly more than they had been, and the fierce spark in her eyes said that she was going to make sure her words come true. Under her watch, there would never be another Akuze.
Shepard looked at the captain and the other soldier whose name and rank she didn't know. She had an itch. It was tickling her fingers, making her want to scratch. They were making inferences about her, assuming about things they didn't know. It was human nature, and it was annoying. She had half the mind to tell them off, but since one of them was of higher rank, and the other could very well be of higher rank as well, she was forced to remain silent about it and leave the itch unscratched.
Kaidan cleared his throat. Something in Shepard's gaze unnerved him. Then it occurred to him. They hadn't introduced themselves. The captain and him were still complete strangers to her. Sure they were connected through the Alliance, and that alone gave them an automatic bond through service, but there was nothing more.
"Here we are talking about the grim and terrible," Kaidan said, "and we haven't even introduced ourselves. I'm Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, and it's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am."
The other soldier, who Shepard now knew was Kaidan, extended a hand to her. "The pleasure is mine," Shepard said calmly, almost musically, as she shook his hand.
"Captain Anderson," the captain said, and two things popped into Shepard's head as she shook his hand: the Skyllian Blitz, and he knows of loss on a magnitude similar to her own.
Shepard cracked her neck loudly after the introductions, shouldering her bag after relieving some of the tension in her neck. "So..." she dragged out the word, acknowledging the awkwardness of the situation but refusing to feel it. "Where to now?"
"Ah, right this way, Commander," Captain Anderson said, motioning for her to follow as he took the lead. "We have a shuttle waiting to take us to the Normandy."
Shepard let out a whistle that started out high and lowered in pitch quickly. It was a whistle of amazement. "A private shuttle. That's fancy," she said with mock amusement.
"Well, the Normandy is the first of her kind and a prototype," Anderson explained, none too impressed with Shepard's dry sarcasm. "She's integrated with an advanced stealth system that makes her invisible to scans by hiding her heat emissions. So, expect a lot of fancy once you're on board."
"I was kidding, sir," Shepard replied blankly.
"I know that, Shepard. Your sarcasm could be spotted from thirty klicks away."
Shepard simply let out huff of amusement, and the change of pace in the conversation surprised Kaidan.
"Tell me Alenko," Shepard said randomly, looking over at the Lieutenant. Kaidan swallowed hard, not knowing where this was going, "what reason did you have for coming out here with Captain Anderson. Surely he could have told me about the reassignment on his own." She had been walking pretty much parallel with Anderson, but now when she asked Kaidan a question, she lengthened her stride and slowed down so that she was walking next to him and did not have to look over her shoulder to talk to him.
Kaidan's relief of not being asked a personal question by Shepard was short lived as he realized what she was asking. "People say that you have violent tendencies," was not something you tell your commanding officer and expect to end up with a good relationship with them. Neither was lying, and Kaidan was not sure which was the lesser of two evils here. The raised eyebrow and intense gaze he was getting from Shepard convinced him that he should tell her the real reason.
"With all due respect, ma'am," Kaidan started nervously, nearly choking on his words, "there were reports that you, um, have...violent tendencies towards thing you don't like...and Captain Anderson wanted someone who could, ah, pull you off in case you went at him..." Kaidan braced himself to be hit or snapped at for what he said. He was completely caught off guard when he saw her smiling and heard her musical laughter running through his ears.
"You can thank Rebecca Rogers for that," Shepard said, still chuckling. "She's a good friend who tells everyone that I'm extremely violent, spreading a ridiculous rumor; and in return, I get to spread the rumor that she's a psychotic schizophrenic who's really good at fooling the doctors." Kaidan watched her with a questioning look, clearly not getting the point of it. "It's a game between her and I to prove that society is almost stubbornly gullible."
"Society is stubbornly gullible, Commander," Anderson interrupted, "and there's something I've read in your file that I now isn't just a rumor."
Kaidan noticed the sudden change in Shepard. Her smile was dropped and what light had been in her eyes vanished as quickly as it had appeared when speaking about her friend. She was now very tense, walking with her head locked forward. Her lips twitched just a bit as if she were annoyed or something...
She's nervous, Kaidan realized and was shocked. Of all the things he thought the Commander would be, nervous was not one of them.
Shepard was annoyed with Anderson at the moment. Yes, he may be a hero and all, but he could cut the theatrics and just say what he wanted to say. There were only the three of them, and at least two of them already knew where this was going. Kaidan probably didn't, and you could probably read on his face whether or not he did, but Shepard was forcing herself to look dead ahead and not give any response on her face or in her body language towards what was being insinuated.
By "your file," Anderson wasn't really talking about her record. That was a file that everyone could access and a file that everyone on the Normandy had already looked up and read as far as Shepard knew. She expected that from all of them. It was human nature and flat out curiosity that made them do so; and hate it all she might, there was nothing to stop them. The file that Captain Anderson was talking about was all the classified crap the Alliance had on her. Not even Shepard got the privilege to see what it said; only her commanding officers could get to see, and even then, only a handful had actually got clearance to see the damn thing. That's why she was nervous. She didn't know what in her file he might be addressing at the moment.
"Your lone wolf days are over," Anderson said commandingly. It was an order.
"Aye, aye, sir," was Shepard's immediate response.
"Let me rephrase that for you: under my command you will not continue your lone wolf behavior," Anderson didn't even look over his shoulder at her. He didn't need to. He knew her type.
"Understood, sir," Shepard took advantage of not having Anderson looking at her for a response and rolled her eyes. By "understood, sir," Shepard really meant, "not a chance in hell, sir," which was more or less the truth.
"You're not going to follow that order, are you?"
"We've only just meant, and you already know me so well," Shepard answered with dry sarcasm.
"You'd apply tactics that would get yourself killed just to disobey and order from the captain?" Kaidan asked. There was a hint of criticism in his words.
"No, I'd apply tactics that would get myself killed just to make sure others don't." Shepard almost snapped at Kaidan, but her voice remained cool and level, even though Kaidan's question was one out of ignorance. Albeit, that ignorance was due to the fact that he didn't know her very well.
Kaidan shut up before he dug his grave any deeper with Shepard. He was starting to get a feel for who she was, but he was still a long way from actually knowing her. He hadn't even had time to read more beyond her record. All he knew about her was what happened to her before the Alliance and what happened in the Alliance up 'til now. The various doctors she'd been to compiled all their reports into one file, and he still needed to look at that one. It was surprisingly long, given that it was about one soldier, and it might even be classified as far as he knew.
"It doesn't matter how you'd apply them," Anderson cut in. "All that matters is that I ordered you to drop the loner act, and you better follow that order."
"Aye, aye, sir!" Shepard snapped. She bitterly hoped that he could hear the "not a chance in hell, sir," reply.
Anderson stopped in front of two doors and glared at Shepard. There was no expression, no emotion, nothing at all in the way she stood. The fierceness in her eyes cut through him, though, and he almost flinched at how her icy eyes seemed to be tearing through his own.
"Alright, next stop, the Normandy," Captain Anderson said before pushing on the green panel in front of the door, opening it.
There was a small shuttle inside of the hanger. Its door was already propped open, waiting for them. It was just an ordinary, beige shuttle with its classification tattooed on its sides; but Shepard stopped for a second and closed her eyes, finally addressing what was really going to happen.
So much for making Rebecca jealous by sending her pictures of me resting on the beautiful beaches down on Earth, she told herself cynically, shaking her head in disbelief.
When Shepard opened her eyes, Captain Anderson had disappeared into the shuttle. Lieutenant Alenko was standing outside the shuttle doors with his arms by his sides as he waited patiently on her. Shepard sighed loudly before finishing the walk to the shuttle. Glancing at Kaidan as she passed him, she saw something in his eyes that she couldn't quite place.
"This will be a short shuttle ride," Anderson said as Shepard and Kaidan got on the shuttle. "Maybe thirty minutes or so."
Shepard nodded, tossing her bag on a nearby seat. She thought about sitting, but decided not to. She had gotten a semi-decent nap in the terminal before she knew of her reassignment. So, she reached up to grab one of the metal beams that ran across the top of the shuttle for people to hold on to for when all the seats were taken and people needed help staying on their feet. A bright blue spark shot off of her hand, though, shocking her as it flew off her fingertips towards the metal beam.
"Son of a bitch!" Shepard exclaimed, shaking her hand in an attempt to rid herself of the pain because of the shock.
Looking up, Shepard could see Kaidan's amused expression on his face. He clearly thought what happened was funny and was failing at trying to hide it. Anderson didn't look impressed by what had happened. He probably just didn't care. About what happened or about her swearing, which was nice. Most of Shepard's commanding officers had a problem with it, not that she particularly cared about their opinion on how she should talk.
"I hate biotics so much sometimes!" she growled, grabbing the metal beam angrily and thankfully not receiving a second shock.
"Then you're just going to love me, ma'am," Kaidan said with a smirk. He moved his arm in front of him, and it flared up with blue, dark energy.
Shepard was surprised. She hadn't expected for the Lieutenant to be a biotic. She was usually the only biotic assigned to whatever ship or station she was on at the time and the only one on her missions that required her to be in a small squad when she wasn't operating solo. It'd be nice to have someone else impress anyone that was curious with biotic displays instead of having to do them herself. Also, she was thankful that someone else might be able to understand all the bullshit that came with biotics.
"Let me correct what I said then: I hate my biotics," Shepard replied, rocking back and forth on her heals.
"Why's that, Commander?"
"They're more trouble than they're worth most of the time."
"Well," Kaidan responded, "I won't disagree with you there."
Shepard knew she was going to like him.