Please don't shoot me. But anyway, Belt Witch here for a little story. You can also call this Touhou Nitpick: Youmu's Domination, if you so desire, but this is just me pouring out my nitpicks with the story of DmC Devil May Cry and some parts of the gameplay. If you enjoy the original series and hate the reboot, you can watch this. If you enjoy the reboot, avert your gaze.

Prologue

It was a peaceful day in Gensokyo, abnormal to the games' atmosphere where every game has something bad happening. Let's take a look at the current location of our main hero in this story.

Hakugyokurou. A palace of the dead, as many would say. Inside here was a noteworthy amount of steps, and, at the top, a residential area for Yuyuko Saigyouji and her precious tree: the Saigyou Ayakashi. But we're not here to talk about Yuyuko. We're here to talk about her gardener. Youmu Konpaku, the samurai servant of Yuyuko, was just tending to the begonias. She had the appearance of a young adult, with white hair and a green dress. But most notable would be her weapons, Hakurouken and Roukanken. Hakurouken was a wazisashi, and Roukanken was a long katana.

"Ahh.. a fine day to make the dull outside into a beauty. It's a wonder," noted our hero.

Of course, no day in Gensokyo really goes without conflict, major or minor, and here, we find an oddity with one of the flowers.

"Huh? What's this...?" Youmu looked over at a strange glow, kneeling down to the flower. Of course, we should note that she had her swords on her for a reason, and this same reason would be if any trouble was to be sucked in. But once Youmu felt a pull, she realized. Trouble was sucking her in.

"WAH-" And before she could scream, she was sent into the abyss of the flower, a loud "Fuck you!" ringing through the area.

Ding!

And that would be our "Fuck" counter.

Ding!

Fu- ... Screw you.

Now we look at a different world, the environment of Limbo City. It was a rather rundown city, looking like the slums in every corner. Bars, clubs, and the common advertisement of Virility, a soft drink, would be plastered everywhere around this place. Deep, deep in the corners of the never-ending streets, we find a secret organization. The Order was its name. Simply put, it was a rebel system, and a girl had left while going underneath a secret passageway only she would unlock. Even deeper into The Order's headquarters, we find Michael Fassbender- ... I mean, Vergil. Vergil had a dark coat with some blue patterns, a katana, and a pair of surgeon gloves, also sporting the worst haircut with white hair.

"Soon, Mundus-" Pronounced "muhn-duhs, "Will fall. I just need to find him. Find my-"

Unfortunately, that's all we get to see and hear of Fassbender- ... err, Vergil, as Youmu appeared out of his computer screens, a loud "Fuck you!" ringing again. Roukanken was slipped out of its sheath, scoring Vergil straight in the forehead, and with the immense velocity of Roukanken coming out of the portal, it hung Fass- AGH- Vergil's head on another computer screen.

"Urgh, my head- AH! HIS HEAD! ... Ew.." Youmu ripped Roukanken out of Vergil's head and the computer screen, slashing the blood and brain pieces off of the katana.

"Sorry, mister Fassbender..." See! Even she agrees with me! "I guess I should find a way out..." No need to. There's some red letters labeling "Secret Exit". "Oh. How convenient." Trust me. It's going to be easier.

Alas, Youmu entered the city's streets, coughing from the smog within two seconds of walking out. She shook it off after a while, just making an unhappy face throughout her trek around the city...

"I need to get out of here... I can't stand this smell."

"Then how about you smell something from me?" And here comes what would be our hero in his own story. Tameem Antoniades- ... I mean. Dante. This was a man in jeans, punk boots, a black coat with a red interior, a tank top, and, his most famous trait, emo-styled hair that was completely jet black, save some white in the back. "You know. My d-"

Alas, same with Fassbender, this is the last of Antoniades, Youmu simply stabbing this man right in the no-no area, her face a bright red as she slapped the air out of this man to keep him from screaming. After a little while, she pulled her Roukanken out of this man's pants, and sent it into his face for a finishing blow. You do not want to flirt with Youmu, I repeat, do not flirt with Youmu. You will regret it. Two kills in one mission, a world record for one from Gensokyo.

Youmu slashed the blood and private parts away, not noting the lack of brain parts. She sighed. This.. was going to be a long, long day.