Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E.

A Path Through the Dark

A modern day Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman FanFic

Chapter One

A large harvest moon hung in the October sky casting an unnerving glow on the night landscape. The homes on each side of the road touted pumpkins and mums dripping down large steps cut into the hillside. Long shadows from elm trees fell over the street so that most of the sidewalk was hidden in shadow. The neighborhood was affluent but the street lamps were more for decoration than function. Michaela silently wished there had been a closer parking space. She snuggled deeper into her coat unsure if the sudden shiver was from the eerie scene or the quickly falling temperatures. The thought of returning to her car was very tempting but she knew better than to even consider it.

Things had to change. Everyday she grew more distant and David became more insistent that she seek some sort of help. He had suggested everything from drugs to therapy, all of which Michaela refused. Earlier this week he'd arrived home to find her balled up on the couch, sobbing, and watching old home movies. The fight that ensued was the worst yet and Michaela knew that for the sake of her relationship with David, she had to do something.

The flyer had been hanging in the break room at the hospital for weeks but two days ago was the first time Michaela had paid it any mind. A grief support group seemed harmless enough and when she mentioned it to David, he was visibly thrilled. She would go weekly and it would get David off her back for now at least. Maybe she would even pick up some tips on how to get past her father's death. She wasn't expecting much though. If the truth was known, Michaela didn't have much of a desire to get over her father's death. It was far easier to wallow in it.

Michaela looked up and frowned at the red door of the Community Center coming ever closer. She stopped and took a deep breath. There was no turning back now. With a new resolve, she tucked her chin back into the warmth of her coat and quickened her pace. It wasn't long before she found herself pulling the red door open and stepping inside. The lobby was warm and painted in bright colors that made Michaela think of the Children's Hospital at Memorial.

A board near the entrance announced the room numbers of different group meetings. Michaela stood before it letting her eyes wander over the numerous offerings. There was a yoga class that met at the same time as her grief group and she thought momentarily about going to that instead. Yoga could be therapeutic- couldn't it? She actually laughed at herself before committing to memory the room number of the grief group.

It was easy to find. The room was at the end of the main hallway – a large room that Michaela thought would have been reserved for a much larger group. She entered tentatively and smiled when she saw a familiar face.

"Michaela," Will greeted her warmly. "David told me to expect you." Michaela silently rejoiced that she had not chosen the yoga group.

"I didn't know this was your group, Will."

Will nodded with a knowing look in his eye and hoped she wouldn't use this as an excuse to leave. "I'm just here to facilitate things. It's not my group. It belongs to all of us." He swept his hand wide to indicate the other occupants of the room.

Michaela raised her eyebrows sardonically and smiled. "Nice one Will."

He patted her on the shoulder. "Give me a break – I am a psychiatrist." They both laughed and Michaela began to relax. Perhaps this wouldn't be so bad. "Come on, let me introduce you to your buddy."

"Buddy?" Michaela had already halted her steps, ready to take back her last thought. A buddy sounded downright like middle school, a particularly painful period in Michaela's life, not something she wanted to repeat.

"Come on," Will cajoled. "Everyone in the group partners up with someone else. That way when we feel really bogged down in this whole healing process, we have someone we can talk to, someone who understands." Michaela moved reluctantly as she mulled over his words. It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to have someone to talk to. David certainly didn't understand. "Normally I partner women with other women but we happen to be uneven right now."

"Uneven?" Michaela's brow furrowed as they moved into the circle of chairs.

Will didn't have time to explain though as they arrived at their destination where two gentlemen stood. They halted their conversation as she and Will arrived. "Robert E, Sully." He shook their hands as he spoke their names and then stepped aside so that Michaela couldn't hide behind him.

"I would like you both to meet a friend of mine, Michaela Quinn. She is going to be joining us."

Robert E offered his hand and Michaela shook it. "Name's Robert E," he said with a smile, then laughed a bit. "The E part comes from having a father with the same name – needed a way to know which one they were talking about."

Michaela smiled. "It's nice to meet you, Robert E."

"And this is Sully. " Will turned his attention fully to Sully now. "I thought you and Michaela could partner up."

Michaela looked expectantly at her new partner but he didn't seem too thrilled with the idea. "Alright," he said, his voice void of enthusiasm.

Will looked down at his watch. "Yikes, it's past time to get started. Why don't you all take a seat?"

Michaela was uncertain whether to follow Will or just take a seat with Sully and Robert E. In the end, she followed the guys and found herself seated between Sully and another gentlemen with a long face that reminded her of a horse.

Will took a seat as the others began to settle down. He smiled at those seated in the circle and Michaela found that she was glad Will was leading this group. William Burke was one of the first doctors at Memorial who had befriended her and while he was also friendly with David, Michaela knew it was only because they were friends. She did feel a little betrayed that David had spoken to him about her attendance but there was no need to make a big deal out of it as it would only lead to another fight.

"Welcome everyone. I'm so glad to see so many of us here tonight. And I am happy to announce we have a new member joining us tonight." He looked across at Michaela as he spoke. "I would like you all to meet Michaela Quinn." Several eyes met hers and Michaela felt her cheeks redden but she tried to look friendly even giving a little wave of her hand.

"As many of you are aware, the holidays are descending on us rather quickly. I had planned tonight to begin to talk about some coping strategies to get us through this particularly difficult time of year but that can wait. Since we have a new member, I thought we might have a sharing time tonight.." There was a collective groan and it made Michaela want to join in. She didn't feel much like sharing. She really wanted to just sit here unnoticed being told how she should feel rather than sharing how she actually did feel.

Will wasn't fazed by their groan but appeared invigorated by it. Just like a psychiatrist, she thought to herself. This was the precise reason she did not want to go to therapy. Michaela crossed her arms over her chest and slouched in her chair, hoping she would not be called on to go first because she was new. Will caught her eye and gave her a crooked grin making her heart race in fear.

"Dorothy, would you mind starting us off?" Will turned to look at the redhead as Michaela sighed in relief.

The redhead cleared her throat and sat forward a little. "My name's Dorothy," she said looking at Michaela as if Will had not just given her name. "I lost my sister earlier this year." She paused, looking down at the floor so that her next words were hard to hear. "Her name was Maude and she was my angel." She raised her head, carefully choosing her next words. "She's the one who took care of me when I had to leave my husband. She's the one who got me out." Dorothy stopped again this time a pained look coming over her face. "She had courage for me and her and I just miss her so much. And I'm worried that I'll go back to Marcus without Maude here and I know I shouldn't but sometimes I am so lonely."

The hurried words stopped abruptly. Michaela's brow furrowed as the woman's eyes seemed to bore into her. No she wasn't looking at Michaela. She was looking at Sully but Sully would not look up.

She cleared her throat and gave a little shake of her head as if she was disappointed. "In addition, my niece, Maude's only daughter, was killed in a car accident about two months ago."

Will patted her on the back but was looking at Sully. "Thank you Dorothy for sharing your story." Others in the circle mumbled their thanks as well. The doctor sat forward a little as he looked around the circle. "Okay, who wants to go next?"

"I'll go." The voice came from an African American woman who looked to be a few years older than Michaela. Her hair was in a short Afro that was very becoming to her. Beside her sat Robert E, his hand resting on her leg. She too spoke as if only to Michaela. "My name's Grace and this is my husband, Robert E." There was a deep southern accent that made the words drawl out in a funny like way that Michaela found she liked to listen to. "We've been married for about ten years now. And we've been trying to have a baby for almost that long." She laughed nervously and Michaela could tell that she was trying to avoid crying. "I can get pregnant but I just can't stay pregnant." She started losing the battle with her tears.

Robert E wrapped his arm around her and took over. "We finally thought we were gonna get our miracle. Grace carried our Henry to almost six months when she went into premature labor. For two days he clung to life and then…" Michaela watched his face wrinkle up, his mouth contorting into a grimace.

"He tried hard." The narrative passed back to Grace. "But he grew wings and flew to heaven."

Michaela saw others in the circle dabbing at their eyes and it was only then that she realized that there were tears on her own cheeks. Hastily she wiped them away and rocked back in her chair. She caught a glimpse of Sully then and she saw one lone tear falling. It sort of hovered half way down his cheek, the path illuminated by the overhead lights. It intrigued Michaela but when she realized he was watching her she turned away remembering their prickly beginning.

Will's voice was kind but strong as he affirmed what they were sharing. "Thank you Robert E and Grace. I know this story is hard to tell… and to hear." Once again, Will looked at Sully with no result. "Thank you for sharing your courage."

His eyes flew around the circle once again and this time they landed on the young man and woman that Michaela has noticed earlier and she wondered if they too were married. "Colleen? Matthew?"

They exchanged a look and then Matthew tilted his head towards Colleen as if to say you go first. Colleen sighed and then sat back in her chair to begin. "My name's Colleen and this is my brother, Matthew." She pointed to him as she introduced him and then smiled very weakly at Michaela. "Our mother died this past summer." She kind of shrugged then as if she didn't know what else to say. Michaela felt for her. She knew the pain of losing a parent and it couldn't be easy for a girl this young.

Will spoke softly. "What about your father?"

"Left us years ago. Cleared out the bank account and left us." It was Matthew speaking this time and the anger in his voice was obvious. Michaela watched as his nostrils flared and his hands clenched into tight fists. "It's me and Colleen trying to do our best to raise our younger brother and our father could care less."

Colleen touched Matthew's arm and then looked back to everyone else. "It's just really hard right now." Several heads nodded in understanding including Michaela. It was hard to feel sorry for yourself when surrounded by people who had lost more than you could imagine.

"Thank you Matthew for your honesty. It's alright to be angry," Will said looking around at the circle. "This is why we are here to share all our emotions." Matthew gave a little nod and Michaela could tell the young man was honestly glad to be affirmed in his feelings. "And thank you Colleen for sharing." His face was soft and it was easy to tell that these two held a special place in Will's heart. "So who's next?" Will's eyes darted from Sully to the man with the long face on the other side of the circle. Sully would still not look up but Michaela could see his face at an angle. It looked like it was chiseled out of stone and Michaela knew it was a false façade. Something someone had said tonight hit a nerve with him. She was barely listening to the man across the circle speak as she contemplated what Sully's story might be.

She looked up quickly, her eyes darting toward the man who appeared about her age. He was in the middle of his story already and Michaela silently cursed herself for not hearing his name.

"Problem is when Myra left she took our daughter. She said she couldn't stay here in Colorado Springs anymore. I offered to move but she wanted a fresh start – without me. I only get to see Samantha on holidays now. I'm afraid she ain't gonna even know me."

"I know, Horace," Will said in the same affirming voice. "It's not easy to be away from your child. Thank you for sharing."

"Well, sure," he said then turned to Michaela. "This place…. These people…" He looked around the circle. "They keep me going." Michaela nodded and smiled politely at Horace's advertisement for the group.

"Thanks Horace for that plug for group." He leaned over and patted him on the leg. "Well, that leaves Sully."

Sully looked up, his face still set. He gave a shrug of his shoulders and then settled back in his chair casting his eyes slightly toward Michaela. "Dorothy's niece… that is…. was my wife. She was eight months pregnant with our baby girl when a teenager ran a red light and broadsided her. She was killed instantly. Our baby… Hannah… is still in the NICU."

Will's face look strained, more so than with the others who had spoken. "Thank you for sharing, Sully. I know it isn't easy." Michaela frowned. Why did he get to share so little? Will was already looking around the circle again at the others. "But I wanted you all to share so that Michaela could." He held his hand forward towards the doctor. "Michaela?"

Michaela nodded as she moved towards the edge of her chair. "Hi," she said feeling a little nervous. She cleared her throat. "I'm here because my father died." She looked over at Matthew and Colleen momentarily. "He wasn't necessarily young but I just never imagined….." She stopped and stilled herself, trying hard to steady her emotions. "I had just moved here when I found out he had brain cancer. I wanted to go back to Boston but he wouldn't let me. I was at least there when he died. That was eight months ago." Suddenly Michaela felt out of place. Everyone's losses seemed so big compared to hers or at least more recent. "I should be alright by now, shouldn't I?" Michaela hadn't meant to ask that question out loud and she must have looked surprised to those around her.

Will spoke. "Michaela you can't really put a time on grief. We are all here because we need to talk about what we are feeling."

She nodded weakly and pushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "I just can't seem to stop being sad. To be honest, I don't want to stop but that isn't fair to my fiancé. He wants us to get on with our lives. He wants the old me back."

"That's mighty nice of him." Sully's voice was dripping with sarcasm.

Michaela wheeled around to see Sully directly looking at her for the first time that night. "I just mean that he wants us to get back to normal life."

Sully shrugged. "I don't know about the rest of you but my life ain't ever going to be normal again. I just don't think it's fair for your fiancé to not realize things are going to be different now."

"He is trying to understand," Michaela defended weakly unsure of why she felt the need to prove David to this stranger.

Will intervened then. "I think Sully brings up a good point. It is very hard to get back to normal after a death or a loss and sometimes our idea of normal does change. " Several heads around the circle were nodding in agreement. Sully was studying the floor again. "That is why we start by making small changes." He looked at his watch then. "And it's that other time of the night that we all love…." Again there was a collective groan. "Time to tell me what change you are going to make this week. Anyone want to start?" He looked hopeful and smiled widely when Colleen half raised her hand.

"I'm going to find someone to proofread my college essays and then I am going to finally send off my applications."

Everyone clapped for the young girl and a couple wished her good luck. Michaela made a mental note to talk to her after the meeting.

Dorothy volunteered next. "I'm going to see my daughter this week. She called and invited me and I'm going to go."

"We're going to take a little time away as well," Robert E said. "Grace and I need a little time to reconnect."

Will clapped and smiled at Dorothy and the couple. "I think time away would be good for all of you. Anyone else?"

Horace shook his head. "I don't know doc. Think I might go buy an Ipad for Samantha so we can talk face to face every night."

"I think that is a splendid idea." For a brief moment, Will's eyes settled on Sully and then flickered to Michaela. "How about you Michaela?"

Michaela shrugged. "I don't know."

"It can be anything," Will encouraged her. "Something small to start out. What's one thing you can do this week to stop dwelling on your father?"

"Okay," she said quickly trying to think of something. "I'll stop watching old home movies this week."

Will smiled. "I think that is a great first step." Michaela looked down shyly feeling like a child being praised for the right answer. "Michaela we are very glad you have decided to join us."

Michaela looked back up, her eyes narrowed a bit. "I'm glad I came," she said and found that she really meant it. It did feel good to be with people who understood sadness and hearing their stories was a good distraction to her own grief.

"Well unless someone has something else to share, that is the end of group. " Will clapped his hands together dramatically and the sound bounced neatly around the large room. "I'll see you all next week and don't forget to get together with your buddies this week."

Michaela cast a nervous glance in Sully's direction but he was already moving over towards Robert E. The doctor gave a little shake of her head before turning her attention to Colleen on the other side of the circle..

She stood and walked over to her, feeling a slight fluttery feeling in her stomach. Teenagers always made her nervous. "Hi Colleen. I'm Michaela." The words were hurried but friendly. Colleen smiled nervously. "I'd love to read your college essays for you."

"You would?" The young woman didn't look like she was quite convinced that someone would be willing to help.

Michaela nodded. "Sure. Where are you applying?"

Colleen glanced in Matthew's direction before replying. "Just a few local colleges," she said leaving Michaela to believe she wasn't sharing the whole truth.

"Cool," Michaela said trying to sound young but feeling as if she was failing miserably.

But regardless Colleen was smiling pleasantly. "So when can we meet?"

As Michaela thought for a moment, she caught sight of Sully leaving out of the corner of her eye. "Hold on one minute," she said to Colleen and ran over to Sully, who was just opening the door.

"Sully?"

"Yeah?"

"As uh… buddies are we supposed to exchange phone numbers or something?"

Sully shrugged his shoulders. "If ya want." His nonchalance was driving her crazy.

"Will said….."

"You're one of those teacher's pets, aren't you?" Sully said sarcastically as he cut her off.

Michaela's cheeks reddened as Sully's quip hit its mark. He was right – why was she bothering with this? It was clear Sully had no interest in being her buddy. She was only asking him because that is what she thought Will wanted them to do. Sully was already pulling out his wallet though so she remained quiet. "Here," he said handing her a business card.

"Oh, thanks," she said now rummaging in her purse to find her wallet. "And here's mine." She handed him her card and he considered it for a moment.

"A doctor, huh?"

"It pays the bills," Michaela joked not wanting to let Sully make her feel like a geek again.

"Well I spend all my free time at the hospital so if you want to meet in the cafeteria sometime…." His voice drifted off as he added her card to his wallet.

"Sure," Michaela said hating how eager she sounded. "Just give me a call or have me paged." She meant this last bit to be humorous but it failed to elicit even a smile.

"Night," Sully said as he turned to go leaving Michaela standing there awkwardly. She looked down at the card in her hand and frowned.

Byron Sully

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818-742-0837

Sully was his last name? Michaela furrowed her brow as she considered him. Normally she would have labeled him as another rude man, which she had known plenty of in her life. His snarky comments would have naturally led her to conclude a woman of her intelligence threatened him but Michaela did not make this assumption. Instead she felt a strange affinity for this man although she didn't really know him.

She remembered then that she had left Colleen and quickly stuffed the card in her purse. She was not done trying to figure him out but her thoughts would have to wait for later.

Rejoining the writing world this summer and starting by polishing this story and posting. It is already done so expect chapters every few days or so. Thanks for reading!