Trigger warnings.

Milady was going to die. There was no escape. No way out. She looked down the barrel of the gun Athos was holding. "You spare Buckingham, but not me. Why?"

"I don't hate Buckingham," Athos spat at her.

Milady felt the worst despair she could remember in the few, yet horrible, years she had been alive. It ripped her apart inside.

She wanted to fall to her knees and beg Athos to forgive her. She wanted to kiss him and once again feel his arms around her.

But it was no use. He would not forgive her, so she would maintain her dignity.

Athos motioned for her to move to the edge of the ship. She looked down and saw only clouds below her. Turning and looking at Athos, memories flashed through her head.

"Look! It's the Musketeers! I'm going to be one when I'm older." Athos pointed at the rows of men parading past him and Milady.

"So am I," Milady replied.

"You can't be a Musketeer. You're a girl."

"So?"

"So you can't be a Musketeer."

"You just watch. One day I'll be better than the best Musketeer!"

"I must say, Milady, you're quite useful to have around," Aramis commented, cutting up a piece of meat.

Milady smiled at Athos, remembering their conversation six years ago. He rolled his eyes back at her in response.

Milady suddenly realized she would do anything for him. She would give her life to save his. Staring into his eyes, she sighed, "Oh Athos..." He kissed her gently and then smiled down at her.

"Well, what do you say?" Buckingham asked Milady, circling around her. "Or do I have to use my information against you?"

She swallowed. "Yes," she whispered.

"I'm sorry, did I hear you agree to ALL the terms?"

She looked up defiantly. "Yes."

"Why don't we start now." He started toward her and Milady steeled herself for what was to come.

She swept out after Buckingham said he was done with her for the day, her face set like flint.

After she had changed into a disguise, she hurried to a place where she knew no one would find her.

Only then did she break down and cry.

She sobbed until she had no tears left.

Her instructions were clear.

She would have to betray Athos.

At least she was still alive.

Someday, she would be able to tell Athos what really happened.

And then she would kill Buckingham.

Kill him for driving a wedge between her and Athos.

"I do love you."

"I know," Athos replied, smiling at her.

She hated herself for what she was about to say. "Then...please try and understand. This isn't personal. It's strictly business. He made me a better offer." Her heart broke when she saw the look on his face. "I'm sorry, Athos." He collapsed as Buckingham entered, looking smug.

She was a mess.

Blackmailed.

Rejected.

Not a friend in the world.

On the outside she was smooth and sure.

On the inside she was dying.

She wished she could make herself bleed, make herself suffer for what she did. But she couldn't. Buckingham would notice.

She wished she could kill herself. But she needed to stay alive for Athos.

She was alone.

Tied down.

Trapped.

Suffocating.

All she wanted to do was die.

The gun barrel did not waver. "Athos..." Milady reached out toward him. I love you, she told him silently. I'm sorry for all the pain I caused you. Then she did the thing she had longed to do for so long.

She jumped.

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-FlatFox