Okay, another one shot. If anyone wants this to be turned into a full story there is a poll on my profile.
Atlanta's POV
My eyes blinked open. I don't think I've ever slept a full night in my life because of my chronic insomnia and pavor nocturnus*. I sat up to lean on my elbows and looked behind me. He wasn't there. He never would be. I needed to get it into my head. He wasn't going to be coming back.
It had been about five, six, months since he'd...I couldn't even think about it. I just needed him back with me. When they'd told me I didn't believe them. He'd always promised me he'd be safe and wouldn't do anything stupid. Only now do I realise that he'd broken that promise, like all the others, even before he'd made it.
It took about a week for it to sink in. He was dead. He wasn't coming back. He'd lied. Again. I had hysterics and wouldn't stop crying for, according to Percy, something like a week. When I stopped, that's when I started to become a problem. I was upset, I was angry and, worse, I depressed, like clinically depressed.
Dad dragged me along to a psychiatrist yesterday. Apparently I have a problem. Well, a couple of problems (well done Mr Psychiatrist, you have diagnosed the obvious). From six last afternoon, I have officially been diagnosed with both clinical depression and anorexia. Yay me and my crappy life.
I hugged my bare knees and stared at my chipped, black nail-polished toes. I'd gotten used to waking up at bizarre hours by now. This time it was about two am. I started thinking about him again. His blonde hair, his blue eyes and slightly tanned skin with contrasting white scar. I never really cared about that defect. I'd known him before he got it and I was there when he got it. I have a similar one on my side. Matching scratches, that's what we've always called them.
I started picking at the polish. I had to do something to pass the time other than think of him. I sighed. I had to get over him I knew that.
Something brought my attention back up and away from my toes. I swear someone was knocking on the door of the room I'd been given whilst Dad redecorated my old one that I hadn't stayed in since I was nine. (I'm twenty-three. This is the first time I've been back since then.) It was impossible though. Dad was the only other person here and I could hear him snoring through the wall. There it was again, but it wasn't coming from the door. It went once more before I got that it was coming from the window.
I stood up and opened the window. It was still dark outside and there was a thick layer of snow out.
Yet, there he was standing, snowball in his hand aiming at the window. The snow flew from his hand and head for my head. I ducked and it exploded against the far wall. He called up to me. "Sorry. Didn't see you there."
I called back down to him, careful not to wake Dad up. "You did that on purpose Luke." He couldn't be here. He was dead. I was depressed. He wasn't coming back, but there he was. Maybe, I imagined it. Maybe he didn't die.
"Oh come on. You know your Dad doesn't like me, especially since I brought you back drunk off your ass last night." Well that could explain it. Neither of us said anything for a bit. "So..."
"So, what?"
"So are you going to get that sexy ass down here anytime soon, obviously?" We've done this before?
"I can't." I looked behind me. "He's locked me in."
He winked at me. "Never stopped you before." I winked back at him and climbed back out on to the window edge. I reached back inside to grab my jacket. It wasn't the warmest one I owned but it was the only one within reach and would be welcomed anyway. I was only wearing a cropped singlet and a pair of shorts; anything would be warmer than that.
I pushed myself off and into the biting air, only to land gracelessly on my butt. I took the hand he offered to me and stood up. I brushed the snow off me before he helped me into my jacket. He whispered into my ear. "Forgotten something?" and pointed to my feet. They were raw and scarlet.
I shrugged. "I didn't notice-hey!" He grabbed my waist and lifted me over his shoulder.
"Don't want to take any chances, do we?" I had no idea where he was taking me when he started walking.
He stopped after about half an hour and placed his hand on my back before laying me in one of the many snow banks that surrounded us. He'd taken me to a place I knew well from my childhood. Whenever I needed to get out the house, which was often back then, I came here. Pine trees were thick on one side and the land fell steeply down on the other. At the moment, all I could see were some silhouetted trees and a blotchy star filled sky. Not many people knew how to get here; even more people didn't even know it exists. "Luke, how did you-?" He kissed me gently.
"You showed me, remember; a few days ago." He kissed me; harder, more savage like. He slipped my jacket off my shoulders and put it down beside him. After a while, the cold started to seep through the thin material of my shirt. I broke off.
"Luke-"
"Don't tell me you're cold `lanta." He took my hand and pulled me to sit up. "You told me you don't feel the cold. He said it in one of those 'I told you so voices.'
"You brought me all the way out here in the middle of the night just to prove me wrong?" I pouted at him. "That's really mean Luke." He hugged me, trying to warm me up I guess.
"I was just playing with you." He slid one arm under my legs and lifted me out of the seemingly burning snow. "Actually, I thought, you'd like to spend the night out here." He paused. "With me." He looked at me hopefully, like he was asking me to go to the movies with him or something.
I kissed his scar and he scrunched his face up. "That would be great." He carried me, and my jacket, to the edge of the trees. He'd already got a selection of blankets and coats along with a couple of flasks that seemed to have some sort of hot liquid inside.
My feet touched back down into the knee deep snow. They were starting to become quite painful now. I winced when I put pressure on them. I tried not to show it but I knew that if I didn't get them warm soon then I could start suffering from frostbite. Luke cleared a section of snow and laid some sort of water proof blanket down. I sat down next to him and leant against his chest. I murmured his name. He murmured mine back at me. "I can't feel my toes." He looked at me then at my feet then back at me. He unzipped his jacket and shirt before holding my feet against his chest.
"You should have said something." I shrugged and wiggled my toes as they were filled with painful needles. He pulled some blankets over us and handed me a flask of coffee. Neither of us said anything. I couldn't be dreaming, I just couldn't. He had to be back or...
"Luke?" He looked me in the eyes. "Where have you been the last few months?"
"`Lanta, are you sure you're not suffering from pneumonia or something?" He put my feet down. "I haven't been anywhere." He looked at me like I was mad, maybe I was. I started staring at my toes again. The feeling had come back but all I could feel was the painful numbness. He flicked my hair out of my eyes. "You are sure you're alright `lanta?" I moved his hand away from my face. "If there is anything wrong, you would tell me, wouldn't you?"
I bit my lip. I prepared to tell him everything; everything from when he stole the lightning bolt right up to last summer. I was sure that it was real but then so did this and they both couldn't be real if the other one was. I took a deep breath. "Erm...there is something..." I never got to finish the sentence or any other sentence that I wanted to say to him.
Something came out of the trees at us. Luke pushed me out of its path as he darted in the other direction. The thing was standing right where we'd been a second before; Laistrygonian giant.
Luke was trying to sneak round behind it to reach me. He got halfway before it turned round. Fed up with wrecking our camp, it set its sights on Luke. He froze like a deer in the headlights. He started running when the thing headed for him. He flew sideways flung by some seemingly invisible force. He hit a tree and fell down; face down in to the snow. If I had kept quiet then I might have been alright but I just had to do the stupid thing and run to his side. I helped him onto his knees. Both legs were broken and possibly a few ribs. I was on my own. I didn't notice that an icy and giant hand was closing around my chest. I screamed as I was pulled backwards into the air. It started laughing at me as I tried to escape. It's squeezed its fist and me. I could hear Luke shouting my name. As the thing squeezed harder; I screamed louder.
I woke up screaming. I was drenched in sweat and there was a dull throbbing in my chest. It felt like it was still being crushed in the giants grip. I was struggling to breathe.
It took a while for my moonlit eyes to make out where I was. It took longer than usual. Door, window, bed; inside number 67 Moorefield road, Canada, back room. I was still struggling to breathe. My digital watch was on the table beside me. Its LED screen was the only source of light in the room. I picked it up in shaking hands and held it in front of my face. The light was of little comfort. 02.21.10 3:03am. It had been a dream, just like all the other times. My sick and twisted brain showing me what I wanted to see. I've had enough. If he isn't with me then I don't want it, this, I don't want this. Maybe it was just my depression talking but there was only one thing that I wanted to do now.
I stood up and put my watch back down. This was never my home and they were never my family. Last time I was here, I felt closer to Toby and he was two. Then he just had to vanish didn't he?
I ripped a page out of my diary and lent against the wall. Using my thumb, I flipped the lid off the pen. I paused one moment before deciding what to write, the last words anyone would get from me. I tried my best to spell everything right; but given the dark and my dyslexia, it was easier said than done. 'Sorry. Don't bother stopping me; by the time you read this I'll be gone already.' I folded the note in half and placed it on the pillow.
I grabbed my jacket and went over to the window, opened it, climbed out and jumped. I landed on the balls of my feet and the snow came up to my ankles. I did what I did in my dream, only without him.
About an hour later, I was standing on the same spot he'd put me down. No footprints, no markings, no- I faltered.
It had started snowing again. I held my jacket close with one hand and used the other to stop my hair flying into my face. I bit my lip. If I was going to do this then I had to do it quick, before Dad found the note.
I moved my frozen and numb feet towards the edge. I looked down; it was a long way. I swallowed back the fear. I never show that I've sacred and I never admit it, not even to myself. Now I was scared, more scared than I've been in my life. I nudged a small amount of snow over the edge with my toe. I could have at least put some shoes on before doing this.
The snow was coming down harder now and the wind was stronger. I closed my eyes and blocked out the cold, the numbness, the snow and the wind. I didn't think I needed to block anything else. My fist closed around the drachma in my pocket, my only condition about doing this. I put one leg out as if I was about to walk off the edge.
"Lannie!" I froze. "Lannie, don't do it!" Dad? I opened my eyes. I could hear him panting as if he'd run after me; to stop me. I could feel warm tears run down my frozen and freckled cheeks.
"D-Dad?" I started shaking. I couldn't hold this much longer but I couldn't do it in front of him. He held his hand out to me.
"Lannie, come away from the edge, please." I put my leg back down. "That's it, Lannie. Now, come with me." I didn't move. "Come on Lannie, you're just being silly-"
"I'm being silly? You think it's silly for me to consider this because the only guy I've ever really loved just died and you think I'm being silly!" My voice echoed around in the silence. He didn't say anything.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, just please; come back inside. You'll catch your death from the cold-"
I laughed. "That's kind of the idea." I looked down. I couldn't do this, not now, not here. I couldn't do that him. Not after everything else I've done. I was caught in the moment. I wanted to jump, I wanted to fall but I couldn't. I wanted to stand back, I wanted him to tell me everything's alright but I couldn't. I was caught in the moment of indecision. "Okay." I took one step back. "I won't jump." I turned round and went over to him. I wrapped my arms around his chest and started crying into his shoulder. "I really miss him Dad."
He put an arm across my back and stroked my hair. "I know you do Lannie, but you've got to move on." He let me go and I stood back. Tears, once flowing freely, now frozen on my face. "We need to get you home." I nodded and sniffed. There wasn't much else I could do now.
He put his arm around my shoulders and started to walk me back. As he started talking about therapy and medication and stuff, I lost interest. I didn't want any of it. I didn't want doctors and therapists trying to work out how my brain works when they don't understand half the stuff I've been through. I just miss him. That's all.
I looked behind me and I swear I saw Luke standing there; watching as I got away from him again, as he lost his girl again. I blinked. He was gone. I started thinking: do dreams ever really come true?
*night terrors.