A night alone and empty was rare. With three book clubs, rehearsal for whatever play she was currently in, and the kids' soccer, karate, and ice skating practice, along with the neighborhood gatherings, Alison almost never had a night to herself. The creatures were practically extinct. But tonight she'd sent Gemma and Oscar to their grandmother's while Donnie was out of town on a work trip so she could finally get a deserved night by herself. Alison's fingers twitched for her phone, desperate to make plans. It was hard to fall out of the habit of constant busyness, even when all she had wanted for weeks was to simply stop for a single night. Her mind ran through a list of things she should be accomplishing, but she came up empty. Hairspray had wrapped up it's last performances the weekend before, so there weren't any lines to memorize or songs to rehearse. Last night had been spent finishing her books for book clubs, even though she didn't have any meetings for a few weeks. Her mind wandered towards other activities, things she did on the side. C-word things. As if someone could hear her thoughts, she heard a cautious knock on the back door. The only people who ever knocked on it were her identicals. Anyone else would either come to the front door or simply barge right in. She jumped up from her chair in the crafts room, practically running for the door. With no one in the house to hide from, there was no need to be secretive or quiet tonight, but she still felt herself slowing down as she reached for the door knob. "Alison!" a voice slurred from the dark the second the door inched open. "Beth?" she whispered into the shadows. The cop's arrival hadn't been expected, and they almost never met up without prior planning. Her sudden appearance must have meant something was very, seriously wron- "Alison, have you ever had sex on a beach?" It was not the question she had anticipated. "What? How did you-?" She could feel her face growing red, buried thoughts of her honeymoon with Donnie jumping to the front of her mind. "It's a drink, and it is very enjoyable." The cop giggled as she stepped inside, collapsing on the door behind her. Alison could smell the alcohol on her breath, spilled on her clothes, probably in her hair. "What is wrong with you?" Alison snapped. "What do you think you are doing? You can't just come over whenever you feel like it. What if Donnie saw? Or the kids?" Her identical started laughing, which made Alison even more furious. "Beth! This isn't funny!" "But they aren't here, are they?" "What?" "Your family? They aren't here." Beth walked past her and plopped on the couch. Alison squinted, irritated that Beth was ignoring her point. "How do you know that?" She tapped the side of her head with her finger. "Because, Ali. I'm a detec-tive," she hiccupped. Alison sighed and sat down next to the "detec-tive," wondering how she figured out that she was home alone. She decided not to ask; the answer would be slurred and probably hard to understand. "Did you walk here, honey?" Alison asked, automatically jumping into mother mode. "I hope you didn't drive." Beth nodded, humming a "mmhmm" under her breath. She looked pleased with herself. "Where did you walk from?" Beth named a bar and Alison gasped. "That's at least five miles away!" "Five and three-tenths, according to my phone." "And you walked that entire way? That's a really long walk, Beth. Especially to do drunk," she scolded, but one look at the cop and she knew she was only half listening. "Oh, I didn't walk. I ran it!" Beth bounced up and down on the couch, clearly excited about her accomplishment. "Why didn't you just call me? I could have picked you up." Beth shook her head crookedly. "Because. Running was faster." Alison didn't bother to point out the flaw in the statement. "And why were so desperate to see me so quickly?" "Because," Beth hissed, which was a less intimidating sound when followed by a giggle. "I have something I need to tell you. It's important." Alison's eyes widened, her heart quickened, and her brain ran through every single possible thing she could be telling her. Was Cosima okay? Had Beth shot someone? Had she discovered more… sisters? "I - I," hiccup hiccup giggle hiccup. "I love you!" "What?" It was possibly the last thing she had expected. Not even that. It was something she hadn't ever expected, even for a moment. The pair had become close in the past few months, even intimate a few times - Alison shuddered at the thought of it now. It was only acceptable to think about their encounters at Beth's house. Even with her family away, it would never feel safe for them to talk about or, god forbid, act upon here. But even with all of that, Alison never thought for a minute that Beth might love her. She's just drunk, Alison decided. Only when drunk would Beth ever let herself think that she might possibly love her, and only drunk could she come to that conclusion. Which meant that it couldn't possibly be a real feeling. Alison was sure of it. "Alison Hendrix, I love thee!" She practically screeched it, clearly mocking a previous performance that Alison had been in. Beth had used words like "thee" with her weeks afterwards, and Alison had feigned annoyance, although truthfully she was beyond excited that she had come to see it. "And now, I insist that you have a drink with me to toast this new discovery of mine, lover." Alison cringed at the word. She hated it when Donnie jokingly used it, but to hear it come out of this woman's mouth directed towards her… It sounded foreign and tainted. Beth was not supposed to be her lover. She was not even supposed to be her sister. She was not supposed to be anything to her, but thanks to a bunch of scientists, they were both stuck here. Suddenly everything felt dirty and achy and wrong. "I, I'm good. Besides, I see you didn't bring any wine. Why do you expect that I have some?" Alison was trying to joke it all off, which was something she was very bad at. Besides, she did have wine and she knew that Beth knew it. Everyone knew it. But thankfully, she didn't have to keep the conversation held up anymore, because Beth's snores jabbed through her hesitant laugh. The cop slid down the couch, her head landing in Alison's lap. The mother jumped, and Beth's body jerked with her, but she didn't wake up. Alison sighed as she scooted the sleeping figure off of her and stood up. She gathered a couple of blankets that had been scattered around the other chairs in the room and laid them gently over Beth's sleeping body before turning off the light and walking quietly up the stairs. The words replayed in her mind, "Alison Hendrix, I love thee!" She shook her head to herself. Drunk or not, Beth couldn't possibly ever mean those words. And Alison couldn't afford to feel that way back, even if her identical did. But sometimes you couldn't stop herself from feeling things, and forbidden emotions always did hit harder, she knew. Alison wasn't sure if the forbiddenness of their relationship was the defining factor in her heart of if perhaps some small part of her actually did love Elizabeth Childs back. Either way, she would never admit that she had even thought of it.