Max: -is bored-
Me: -ditto-
Max: Noel! Do something.
Me: -grumbles- Do what?
Max: I never thought I would say this, but we're dying of boredom. You should write.
Me: Why don't you?
Max: But I suck at writing.
Me: Yeah, you kind of do.
Max: Thanks.
Me: -sticks tongue out- What comes around goes around.
Max: I don't get it.
Me: -facepalm- Just disclaim already.
Max: 'Kay! Noel doesn't own shiz! Maximum Ride is James Patterson's and J. Patterson's only!
Me: Onward!
I squinted at the rising sun. Another boring day of my oh so boring life.
Fang burst down my door. "Max! You must come with me."
My jaw dropped. Was I dreaming? Fang looked the same, except a bit more rugged than I remember. "Long time no see," I spat harshly.
He flinched. Serves him right! "This isn't the time to argue. You aren't safe here. We need to leave now," He said in a urgent voice.
Like I would go with a douche bag like him. "What makes you think I'd go anywhere with you."
He rushed to the window and took a peek outside. "There isn't much time." He turned back towards me with a sad expression on his face. "There's something I need to tell you, Max. Something I had to keep secret from the flock."
Possibilities ran through my head. Did his expiration date show up? Was he working with them? Did he find a girlfriend and- I stopped myself short. No, he wouldn't do that.
Fang grabbed my hand and looked deep into my eyes. "I am an incognito espionage," He told me softly.
Clueless, I just blinked. "And what is that?"
He started pulling me towards the door. "I guess, one would call me a spy, a secret agent."
I yanked my hand out of his grip. "By that, do you mean a double agent?" I growled.
Fang shook his head. "No! Nothing like that. I fight crime. You know, like James Bond?"
"Oh, I'm glad you cleared that up. Shall I call you Bond, Fang Bond." I commented sarcastically.
He glared at me. "Listen to me! I'm here to help you. Remember how I could turn invisible?" How could I forget. "Well, once the agency found out about my power they realized my potential. I found a way to help people."
I punched him in the face. "That's for being an ass and leaving in the middle of the wedding." I punched him again. "That is for not thinking through things before you open your mouth." I gave him one last hit. "And that is for breaking my heart because of your "potential". I see now that the our potential as a couple was no match as your potential to be a freaking espionage!" I yelled.
Blood leaked out of Fangs nose. He looked up at me with guilt glistening in his eyes. "I'm sorry," He pleaded. "I just…" His eyes locked with something outside. "We gotta go," He urged.
I started to argue but the look on his face stopped me short. I couldn't say no to that face, which meant I'd go along with his stupid plans. "Are you sure you're a spy?" I demanded.
Fang started to move towards the door. "Why else would I leave?" He replied.
Thanks for the straight answer, buddy! Grumbling as I went, I followed Fang out. "You aren't…on drugs or anything, right?"
Fang rushed me outside without answering. "We should get out of here," He observed.
"I asked you a question. Are you clean and sober?"
Fang didn't meet my gaze. "Why would you ask such a thing?"
I bit back my tears. "Fang, give me your hand."
"What?"
"Give me your hand." I growled through clenched teeth.
Shocked, he gave me my hand. I grabbed a hold of it and hiked up the sleeve of his jacket. Little black polka dots speckled the crease of his elbow.
Sending him a disapproving glance, I spoke, "This is how you cope with your mistakes?" I shook my head in disgust. "You start shooting up."
He looked up at me. "I…I fucked up," He admitted.
Stressed, I ran my hand through my hair. "You did."
"Can we start over?" He asked tentatively.
I shrugged. "It's not entirely my choice." Meeting his gaze, I continued, "But if it was, I would give you a second chance."
Fang's expression looked hopeful. "So, can I move back in?"
I punched him in the arm playfully. "How could I say no to my idiotic espionage of a boyfriend."
"Boyfriend?" He asked hopefully.
Wrong choice of words. "Ex-boyfriend," I clarified. "Maybe someday, but I don't think I can forgive you just yet."
He nodded in understanding. "I will win you back. That you can count on."
I sighed at his corny statement and started walking back to the house.
"Max, no!" Fang tackled me to the ground.
"What the hell! Let go of-"
The house exploded before my eyes.
Still pinning me to the wet grass, Fang smirked at my astonished expression. "You think I'm kidding about being an espionage?" He got to his feet and held out a hand to help me up. "Think again."
I stood up quickly. Taking the opportunity to tease him, I leaned in. "Cute," I breathed in his ear before striding off towards the Flock, leaving Fang in the dust to stare at my retreating figure. Having his around might actually be more fun than I thought.
I walked up to my family, who were all staring open-mouthed at our flaming house. "I didn't do it!" Iggy exclaimed. "But Gazzy does seems kind of suspicious."
Gazzy looked around wide-eyed. "You talking to me?" He peeped nervously.
Max: -silence-
Me: You told me to write something! I wrote a short oneshot.
Max: That story made no sense.
Me: It did in my mind.
Max: Bob the evil banana taking over the world during the return of the gremlins makes sense to you.
Me: Thank you Ms. Runonsentence.
Max: -glares-
Me: R & R everybody! Click on that little button and something special will happen!
Max: What?
Me: I will squeal with joy and do a happy dance!
Max: -headdesk-
Me&Max
