Hello, and welcome to insanity. Throughout this story we will discuss and debate the theories of reverse gravity and water births developed by John F Kennedy, the leader of the Vatican. Or Harry Potter. Maybe Harry Potter. In order to ensure that those plagued with the disease of 'sanity' are cured and drawn towards 'insanity', I must inform you that I do not own Harry Potter or any of the other characters.

Have fun!

Albus Dumbledore was having a wonderful day. Fawkes was singing softly. The students were arriving in his school and into his realm of control. It was a new year and children would come in looking at him like the leader of Light and grandfatherly figure he was. Of course there would be some children who parents taught them to follow the Dark, but that was expected. But soon students would walk these halls and laughter would echo through the empty castle. Life was perfect.

Then it wasn't. A loud screeching echoed in the wide headmasters office. An alarm that this headmaster had no desire to hear anymore, the damn thing went off daily. He turned his head and glared at the offending device until it shut off again. Smiling, Albus went back to enjoying the day, his mind now on whom the device was for. A young Harry Potter. He was anxious to finally have him under his realm of control, but sadly the headmaster would have to wait three more years till he arrived.

Suddenly another device hung on the wall rang loudly, this time a high pitch beeping. Albus frowned at this one. It wasn't that surprising, but still, Harry was usually confined to his room under the stairs. He wasn't allowed to leave the house. Albus waved the Elder wand and silenced the alarm, but stared at it frowning. He leaned back against the throne like chair and watched the wall of devices, watching and waiting for the one that shows that the boy was back in the safety of the blood wards. A different sound than expected dinged softly, there was someone at the door. Albus looked at the words that told him who it was and scowled.

Changing his face he called out, "Come in Minerva."

The Deputy Headmistress came in shaking her head, "One of these years I'm going to find out how you know who's at the door."

He smiled at the Scottish woman, "And I wish you the best of luck."

She nodded once, "Regardless, I need to speak with you of matters concerning the school."

Internally Albus groaned, this was why he HAD a deputy. So dull matters like this could be resolved without him having to do anything. Outwardly he just smiled softly, which McGonagall took as a sign to begin. The first matter was one that he hated.

"I am curious why you denied Miss Nymphadora Tonks to be named prefect."

Albus scowled inwardly. The metamorphagus was a stain on the wizardry world. Others somehow saw this as a gift but he recognized it for what it was, a gross product of the joining of a pure blood and a muggleborn. Whenever he had the chance, he blocked the gift on children. While it still wouldn't be common, Dumbledore tried to ensure that it wouldn't stain his school. Unfortunately he failed at blocking Tonks who now ran wild in the castle. But at least he succeeded on the boy.

Albus's eyes twinkled brightly, "Minerva, we've discussed this. Miss Tonks is not mature enough to handle the position."

Minerva's face became confused, "O-o-of course, headmaster."

Albus smiled at her, "Very well, what else do you need my dear?"

The deputy shook her head to clear her thoughts and started on her no doubt preplanned discussion. He disagreement with Snape and Binns still teaching. Which Albus easily replied with how he completely trusted Snape and that Binns was a wonderful teacher. Muggle studies and how it was too far out of date. Albus just brought up how he had seen the classes and they seemed perfectly fine to him. Minerva brought up how some of the muggleborns were unable to afford some of the materials. Albus waved it off saying that there were plenty of cheaper versions of what was needed. The deputy brought up all these pointless problems that Albus was easily able to wave off or ignore.

Finally after what had to been almost an hour of talking about unimportant things, Minerva ran out of school related problems. Unfortunately this did not mean she left, rather she decided to discuss some of her favorite students and what she wanted to accomplish this session. Albus glared at her internally but outwardly he just continued to smile softly and make sounds of agreement when needed. Just when she seemed to run out of things to say and Albus could get rid of the irksome woman, Filius walked in.

"Albus, Minerva, I need to speak with you two. The goblins are talking about how we owe them money and are planning on visiting."

Albus frowned slightly, but internally he was furious at the useless little money creatures. Of course they were right. Albus's personal funds were dropping so he borrowed from the school funds. Albus sighed outwardly but his mind was flying rapidly as he thought of a way he could turn this around to his betterment. Suddenly a little key popped into his mind and he grinned.

"Very well, I will use my personal funds to pay off what we owe."

Both of them gasped.

"Are you sure, they say its over 5000 Galleons?" Filius asked.

Albus nodded solemnly, "Of course. While the House of Dumbledore may not be the richest of houses, I am sure that it will survive the cost."

The initial cost would indeed be incredibly damaging, but with the Potter vaults being as full as they are, and Albus being his Magical Guardian, it would be easy to refill his vaults. But what everyone else saw was the image of a man sacrificing his own funds for the betterment of the school. Not that it was actually costing him anything. Albus quickly wrote out a letter to the Goblins informing of his decision to pay for the fees himself. He would have to use the Potter vaults later when he visited the bank at a later time.

The sound of a chair creaking brought him back down to the office. The sound was Filius sitting down in the chair unfortunately. Instead of getting rid of one annoying Professor, there were now two of them. Albus grabbed a lemon drop and sucked on it as the two of them talked about certain students they liked and disliked, the Weasley twins being one they couldn't particularly decide on, fun yet incredibly annoying was the final consensus. Finally after what felt like hours of pointless chatter, the two seemed to run out of things to talk about.

"Well, I hate to kick the two of you out like this, but there is some work I must complete," Albus told them.

Minerva nodded, "Of course, I will speak with you later."

The two smiled at him and seemed to slowly meander out of the office. Albus waited until the door shut and he heard the sound of the stone gargoyle moving to stand in the way, before dropping his head on the desk in exhaustion. God they took forever. Albus lifted his head up and leaned back against the chair, his eyes looking up toward the high ceiling as he thought over the unplanned meeting. It was incredibly long and pointless. Nothing was actually accomplished. All it did was distract him from-

Albus sat up rapidly in his throne and his head snapped to the wall of his devices. A singular one to be exact. One that told him whether or not Harry Potter had returned to his home with the Dursleys. One that had still not gone off. Albus stood up and started pacing in front of the devices all set up for Harry, his mind racing. Each time that Harry had run away, the whale of a muggle would go search for him after a half-hour and quickly bring him back. But it had been over two, almost three, hours and the small device that said whether or not the muggle had left had not gone off. This was a problem. If the muggle police had found Harry then they could potentially take Harry away from his home with the Dursleys, which could ruin his plans for the boy. Albus continued to pace in front of the devices. He knew he couldn't leave just yet, else he may alert Harry of the world of magic, yet if he didn't leave soon he couldn't be sure of where Harry would be. He didn't know what to do.

In an Hogwarts hall

Minerva and Filius exchanged nervous glances as they walked away from the headmaster's office. The plan to stall the Albus worked perfectly, now all they needed to know was if the two Americans were able to succeed at removing him and getting away. They needed to wait out of the wards for him to come to them and then apparate to an international Floo network to Salem. Once there they needed to move to the hospital to remove all of the blocks and traces. At St. Mungo it could have been accomplished in under thirty minutes but since they are going international, passports and new identification would be needed. Both tensed when a eagle patronus flew through a wall towards them. It stopped close and whispered to them in voice of a male American.

"We have him, they are removing everything blocking him now. Thank you both."

The Professor's both released a deep breathe in relief.

Back in the Headmaster's Office

Albus stopped when the clicking and clacking stopped. His face turned from one of contemplation to one of fear. He immediately ran to his desk and pulled out the emerald at the bottom. He breathed out a sigh as it was still glowing, meaning that Harry was still alive. His gaze turned back to his devices set to trace Harry and keep track of the boy and ensure he wouldn't come into contact with the wizardry world too early. Yet as of a few moments ago, nothing was working, so what happened?

Far away in America

The medi-witches in the room avoided the two seething parents. They had just succeeded in delivering the young boy to the Salem Medical, but what they found was almost diabolical. The doctors that had just told them of what had been placed on him, quickly escaped when their faces had turned from concern to absolute rage.

"What are we going to do about this Jacob?" The wife asked, "He may not even trust us at this point."

The man, Jacob, sighed, his anger gone for the moment, "Stick with the plan for now I guess. Ask him what he wants, and if he doesn't…then find him somewhere he does want to stay. That's all we can do for now Sarah."

"Should we tell him about who he is? Minerva said that he wouldn't know anything about his past."

The man ran his hand though his short brown hair, "I think we should, hiding something like this…it could terrify him if people just jumped him for what he did as a baby."

Even though Voldemort mainly stayed in Britain, his influence also reached out to the colonies causing plenty of unrest and violence. The boy that they had rescued, a young Harry Potter, is still seen as a hero in the States.

Jacob Sullivan paused and looked at his wife of almost twelve years. Unchanged, the long blonde hair reached to her waist and bright blue eyes were almost always filled with mirth and playfulness. Now however they had taken on the appearance of ice. Other wizards often questioned her having a Veela ancestry but surprisingly her beauty was entirely human. He worried constantly that his wife would one day see the perfection that she was and leave him. He was by no means unattractive, in fact his brown hair and eyes, will seemingly plain, were attached to a rather attractive face. Plus he constantly worked out to ensure that he was healthy so his body was in excellent shape. But he still believed that no matter how good he looked, his wife looked twenty times better. A stray thought interrupted Jacob's process as his eyes dropped down to watch his daughter walk aimlessly through the waiting room looking at everything.

"Do you think Jessica will be okay with this?" He asked.

His wife scoffed and looked up from the clipboard the doctors left, "Really? She's wanted a brother for as long as we've had her. I think she'll be jumping up and down for joy. Even more so when she finds out who he is."

Jacob chuckled softly, "Yeah that true."

Sarah's blue eyes looked down at the clipboard again, "How could someone do this to a child."

Jacobs's mood dropped again as he read it once more.

Name: Harry James Potter

Age: 8

Species: Human

Medical: Evidence of abuse and malnutrition. Cases of broken bones with poor realignment. Potion regime and planned diet needed. Multiple traces and blocks found.

Traces:

Two types of Blood Traces: One attached to ward, will break soon. Other connected with crystal, can only see heartbeat.

Location Trace: Removed

Collection of health Traces: Removed

Blocks: (Illegal number)

Child Block: Added to replace Power Block

90% Power Block: Replaced, now at 30%, return at age Eleven to have full access

Higher Metamorphagus Block: Removed, originally 100% (Illegal over 10%, any higher can cause mental damage, seek Therapist)

Photographic Memory: Removed (Extreme depression found with similar cases,

Therapist recommended)

Affinity with Water: Removed

Affinity with Fire: 50% Removed, required to meet with master to gain use of full 100%

Parseltongue 45% Block: Removed

Transfiguration Prodigy Mind Block: Removed

Ancient Runes Prodigy Mind Block: Removed

Creative Mind Block 60%: Removed, questionable intent

Self-Healing Block: Removed (Highly Illegal, most cases result in jail time)

Mail Block: Removed. Included a Gringotts block (Very Illegal)

Muggle Enraging Spell: Removed

Dark Magic Found: Appears to be secondary possession, no forced reaction but sharing of body and magical core. Seen leeching magical power if threatened. Healer Thomson assumes Horcux in living body, first of its kind. Contact the Goblins due to their knowledge in soul magic.

Number of blocks and traces caused severe stress on body, causing sight problems as well as a weaker body. Since removed, health has slightly improved.

Blocks and traces all have same magical meaning this singular person has broken multiple laws involving child abuse and misuse of magic.

Jacob stared in disgust as he once again read through the list. Why any human being would be willing to try and contain a child like this is monstrous. Fortunately they knew who did such a disgusting thing. Unfortunately they couldn't do anything about it yet. Albus Dumbledore was just to powerful for them to try and take down on their own. Not only was he the Hogwarts Headmaster, but also the Chief Warlock of the British Wizenmagot and the Supreme Mugawup of the ICW and finally the self proclaimed Leader of Light. Attacking him was futile. Only Harry Potter could fight against Dumbledore and win.

Unaware of the thoughts currently going on about him, Albus Dumbledore stepped on the walkway to Number 4 Prewit Drive. Already he could feel the blood wards fading. He had planned on putting the wards on a stasis charm for when he would attend Hogwarts, but already after a few hours the ward was weaker than before.

Albus waved his wand and placed the house under a long-term stasis charm. It would fed on his magic for some time but soon he would have Harry back under the wards to ensure that they fed off Harry instead of him.

Putting on his smiling face, Albus walked to the front door and knocked lightly. He didn't have to wait long as the loud thumping of footsteps could be heard on the other side of the street.

The door swung open and a nasty "What!" was called out.

Albus smiled at the whale Vernon, "Hello, I'm looking for Harry Potter."

The fat man's mustache twitched at the sound of the boy's name, "He isn't here, freak."

Albus tensed at the word 'freak'. While it was perfect to ensure Harry was easily controlled, he had no desire to hear it about himself.

He glared back at the Vernon, "Well where would I find him."

Vernon's face started becoming red, "I don't know. Some other freaks wanted to keep the brat."

Dumbledore's blood turned cold, "Someone took him? Who?"

He didn't wait for an answer but simply forced his way into Vernon's mind. He ripped through his memories till he found the one he wanted. It appeared to be a man and a woman, however they seemed to have used a confundus charm to change the memories so Vernon couldn't remember them. All he could get was that the accents sounded wrong. Albus shoved the mind of the filthy muggle away. Back outside Vernon's mind was trying to repair itself from the chaotic invasion but couldn't repair what had just happened so it just shut down. A now blank Vernon slowly teetered till the man swayed to far back and dropped to the ground.

Albus ignored the screams that came from inside and the frantic running. Instead he scanned the area for signs of magical signatures or apparition. He scowled when he didn't sense anything, meaning that they either walked or used muggle transportation.

A hospital room in Salem Medical

"Excuse me honey," A female nurse called out to the boy resting on the medical bed.

A young Harry Potter was still trying to figure out how he was able to see without his glasses as he looked from the wall he was studying to the young nurse waiting by the door.

He smiled softly at the nurse, "Yes? Can you tell me why I'm here? Or where here is?"

She chuckled softly, " Well to answer your questions, someone found out that so very criminal things have been done to you. So they brought you here in order to fix you up. As to where, you are in Salem Medical in America."

Harry's eyes widened as he realized he was: One. In hospital, which the Dursleys didn't want, And Two: He was all the way in America, which the Dursleys definitely didn't want. Harry started to hyperventilate as he realized the trouble he would be in when he would be back home with the Dursleys. And unknown to him his

Rachel had read seen the file and knew that the boy had been exposed to abuse so she quickly acted in an attempt to calm him down. She ran over to the side of the bed and crouched down so she was at a lower level. Her heart clenched when she felt the boy flinch away from her touch but she didn't let this show too much.

"Listen Harry. No one. No one is going to make you go back to the Dursleys. Your safe. I promise. They can't take you away because they have no idea that you are here. Okay?"

Harry's heart beat started to slow and his breathing started to calm down, his green eyes on the nurses. He nodded slowly, causing the nurse to grin brightly.

"Good. Now all I'm going to do is run some diagnostics and check how you are doing. Someone placed a lot of traces and blocks on your core and I just want to see how everything is maturing."

While Rachel had read his file, it also seemed that she missed out on the large bold words that read as follows.

PATIENT IS UNAWARE OF MAGICAL WORLD

DO NOT USE MAGIC IN FRONT PATIENT UNTIL EXPLAINED BY NEW MAGICAL GUARDIANS

So when Rachel pulled out her wand and waved it at the young boy, the resulting glow around his prone figure, kind of terrified him. And when Rachel looked at his face and noticed the fear/confusion/shock/another adjective, well she only had one word to say.

"Crap."

Minerva McGonagall sat in her office chair and tipped back her glass of Firewhiskey in celebration. Filius Flitwick was doing the same thing on the other side of the desk. Both had just succeeded in helping to right a terrible wrong. They helped free Harry Potter.

Filius leaned back in his chair, "I cannot believe Albus was willing to leave the boy there."

Minerva sighed, "I'm worried he has too many responsibilities and it's catching up to him."

The half-goblin nodded slowly, "He may be a powerful wizard, but time hits all of us."

Minerva's eyes narrowed, "Am I to assume you are talking about me."

"Wait so you're a witch and I'm also a wizard?"

"Yes," Rachel replied.

Harry's face scrunched up, "And I can't tell the people coming in because they don't know about the wizardry world?"

"Ye-wait no. They know but they don't know that you know."

"They don't know I'm a wizard?"

"Ye-wait no. They know you are but they don't know that you know that you are."

"Are what?"

"What?"

"What?"

"Huh?"

"I'm confused, who's a wizard?"

" Okay, hold on. You're a wizard and I'm a witch. The people coming in know you're a wizard but they don't know that you know that you're a wizard so you have to act like you don't know that you're a wizard so I don't get in trouble. Got it?"

"Ye-no."

Vernon stared at the mess of the kitchen fuming, "BOY!"

It took the couple of moments of silence before the realization that the freak was gone to sink through his incredibly thick and dull skull. But once that did actually make it to his brain, Vernon panicked. There wasn't anyone to do any of the cooking and cleaning.

Outside, Petunia had just come to the same conclusion. However hers stemmed from a different angle. She noticed that the freak had done all of the gardening that the neighbors had always complimented, and now it was overgrown and weeds were starting to peak and attack her roses.

Inside upstairs Dudley was playing with his toys and making a complete mess. This narrator would like to say that the same realization that he would have to clean up his own mess came to him as well…but it didn't. In fact, Dudley hadn't even figured out that when his father had told him that freak was gone that his slave was gone. He didn't even notice, instead he was already planning on the next Hunting Harry game with his friends. Really this kid is a pain in the rear and incredibly annoying.

But the two adults in the house did realize what this meant. It meant that they would have to start actually doing things around the house. And to two people that lived with the luxury of a slave for almost eight years, this was going to be impossible.

"Okay, I think I've got it."

"Right, tell it back to me."

"I'm a wizard and you're a witch. However I can't tell anyone, except you since you told me, because they don't know that I know. Also someone else is going to tell me that I'm a wizard later and I have to pretend that I didn't know because, again, they don't know that I already know. Right?"

"Perfect!"

"Great…so what's that?"

"This? Oh this is a wand, you'll get one when you get older."

"Really? That's so cool! Can I tell the people coming in that I will get a wand too?"

"Ye-NO!"

Filius jumped out before the office door slammed shut behind him.

He turned back to the dark wood and shouted out, "I'm sorry!" He waited but when he didn't hear anything he continued, "I didn't mean anything by it! Everybody grows old with time. I'm not saying YOU look old! It's just time changes everyone!"

Filius immediately noticed his mistake when the door swung open to reveal a fuming older-I mean-incredibly beautiful/fuming Scottish woman. When he saw her whip out her wand Filius realized that he needed to be gone. Yesterday.

He quickly cast a Haste charm on his legs and took of down the hallway. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed a suit of armor he ran next to turn into a frog and at that he cast a Protego and another Haste. He felt several other spells hit his shield before he finally turned the corner and could breathe out a sigh of relief.

"Witches are terrifying," he murmured to himself as he walked towards his office.

"What are you trying to tell him?"

Both the witch and wizard looked toward the door to see a young girl standing at the doorway.

Rachel opened her mouth to ask the girl to leave but young Harry beat her to the punch.

"I'm learning about how I'm a wizard and she's a witch but I can't tell anyone that I know I'm a wizard or she's a witch cause I'm not supposed to know about that or wands just yet but someone's going to be coming in soon to tell me that I'm a wizard and she's a witch and then I can ask for a wand and tell people that I'm a wizard and she's a witch cause after they tell me then I am allowed to know that I'm wizard and she's a witch. Plus I'm not supposed to tell everyone who I am, but I don't know why."

Rachel's palm? Meet Rachel's face in the terms of the face palm. Thankfully the boy said it incredibly fast and in an incredibly confusing way so there was little chance she actually understood-

"Oh that's cool. I'm a witch too. But I'm too young to get a wand yet."

"That stinks."

"I'm Jessica Sullivan, what's your name?"

"NO DON-" Rachel tried to shout out.

"Oh I'm Harry Potter."

Rachel's palm met her forehead in a dramatic remake of the last attempt.

"Really?" That's cool!"

"Why?" Harry asked, all confused.

"Huh, not sure. Dad tried reading me all these stories about you but I never really paid attention. I know a lot of girls are interested in you."

"Why?" He asked again.

"Well, there is this one story I heard about you…"

Vernon, Petunia and Dudley all sat in silence in the dining room just staring at the empty table. Once upon a long time ago Petunia would cook for the family, but ever since the freak would cook for them, the kitchen became unfamiliar territory. The air reeked of her trying to reclaim the kitchen. The burnt scent of something unrecognizable pretty much summed up all of her efforts. The trio had fallen from the homemade dinners to calling for take out. Petunia was terrified that one of her neighbors would see the car when it showed up outside. The gossip ring that she so frequently joined would almost instantly turn on her if they fell to such gross methods of securing meals. They all assumed that she cooked when in reality the job had turned to the freak. It had taken Dudley several hours to figure out he had no one to pick on, and now he had no idea what to do. The narrator would once again like to discuss how Dudley had then done something productive with his life. But really Dudley is just so dull so he pretty much just sat around till meal time. Vernon was pretty similar in that his face just fluctuated from white to red to purple to purple with veins throbbing as he thought about the freak and freaks that took the freak.

The doorbell rang and Petunia quickly stood up and ran to the door. The faster she was the less time that the takeout car was outside so the less chance that her neighbors would see. She opened the door and thrust the money forward in exact change and grabbed the food with the other hand. The deliveryman barely had a moment to grab the cash before the food was ripped out of his hand and the door shut back on his face.

His eyes dropped down to the cash and quickly counted it to ensure it was the correct amount before turning and walking back down the driveway.

"Wow, Petunia mustn't be feeling well huh?" A female voice called out.

The deliveryman looked over to see a lady working on her garden next door.

"Not sure, the lady that grabbed the food looked fine. Just embarrassed I guess."

He didn't notice the evil little glint that lit up her eyes, he simply walked to his car and drove off. He had no idea that the rumors had already started to spread. By this time tomorrow, Petunia wouldn't even feel comfortable leaving her own room.

Sarah and Jacob Sullivan stood slack jawed at the scene playing out in front of them. Originally they were concerned and slightly scared on how they would tell Harry of the wizardry world. And yet it appears that their worries were for naught. Their daughter had asked to go to the restroom, yet somehow she had managed to end up in Harry Potter's room. The spell they had used to find her after she had been gone for some time, and it had led her right to the room they had been planning on going to later. But it wasn't that their daughter was already in the room. It was what they were talking about.

"So I beat a fully grown dragon when I was five?"

"No you got through twelve of them. Don't you remember this?"

"Huh, no I don't. You'd think you'd remember something like that," Harry said all confused.

A slap sound alerted the pair to a young girl sitting in one of the chairs dressed in a nurse's outfit. The large red spot growing on her forehead alerted them of how she's been spending the last few minutes doing.

"That's so weird. What about the one involving the Screaming Banshee? Ya here that one?"

"Huh, no I don't remember facing a Screaming Banshee. What'd I do?"

Jacob decided to try and hop in here, "How about we save that story for another time."

The three occupants looked up towards the pair of parent with a collection of expressions. Jessica looked like she just got her hand caught in the cookie jar while the nurse looked rather sheepish (not including the giant red spot on her forehead). Harry's expression was the one that hit the two the most. It was a combination of confusion and fear. It was the fear that made Sarah's heart clench. Well actually it made her heart clench, her fist ball and, surprisingly, her tongue loosen.

"We want to talk you home with us."

Jacob's palm? Meet Jacob's face.

Yup. That it. Little serious for now. Prob gunna get CRAZy up in here later. Or not. It could be sane ya know. Just to mess with you reader peeples. Alright. New chapter soon. Or later. Wow I am fickle. Can't decide. Or can I?

Okay I'm done.