Maybe That's Why I Left

by GeekyNerdyFangirl

Juvia decided that life within Fairy Tail just wasn't her cup of tea, so she threw out the tea bag and spilled the contents down the drain. She's ready for a new life without said tea, filled instead with coffee and cocoa and other warm beverages (I think my tea metaphor is going a bit far), but it seems that life just prefers the British life style.

1. Chapter One: Gone

A/N

Hello everyone! This chapter has been rewritten recently, 'cause the idea just didn't fit in with what I have in mind for the whole fic, so you might wanna read it again, unless you're completely new here. In that case, welcome! Hope you like it.

Disclaimer: Fairy Tail belongs to Hiro Mashima, I'm just borrowing his toys and playing with them.

Chapter 1

Gone

The sun had been rising and falling above the Fairy Tail Guild for the past few weeks in a way one would have thought exceptionally ordinary and uninteresting, for it indeed was very much so, since the Water Mage's abrupt, yet not quite surprising departure. Everyone in the guild felt it daily, the feeling of something missing, though they weren't quite sure what, like a word just on the tip of your tongue that you can't quite catch however hard you try. It was Juvia, of course, who had left this little hole in the fabric of the community, though no one would ever be willing to admit that.

To tell the truth, they all felt rather injured (on their pride) by her sudden flee to god-knows-where. Her letter, you see, had been brief. Very short. And somewhat cutting, if I do say so myself. I don't quite remember the details, but I think it went something like this:

Dear Fairy Tail,

Juvia is gone (she hopes her absence has been noted by now). She will not be returning to Fairu Tail, as she has already resigned. Her future, Juvia feels, is elsewhere (Juvia supposes this would be a good time to say something sentimental about gratitude and faith and friendship and life at the guild, but Juvia really couldn't care less at the moment). She doesn't feel happy at Fairy Tail and she intends to change that.

Juvia Lockster

P.S. Juvia wishes Gajeel-kun a happy life, as she believes he deserves it.

I remember thinking how strange it was, the way the guild reacted. Sure, they grew just a smidge more quiet, withdrawn even, but there was no trace of the remorse or sadness I had expected. They all just sort of…..took it. As if they could just sit through it and wait, like it was just a rainy day that would go by eventually, except it wasn't really, because Juvia was the rain and without her, it was just the sky crying.

Looking back, I feel a bit sad for them. The majority didn't even know why she left, and the rest probably just felt responsible. Not that they shouldn't feel responsible, mind you. To them, Juvia had always been the background, the backup vocals, a supporting character in a show where there were to many characters to begin with. Only Gajeel knew how she had felt.

I don't think anyone, least of all Juvia, ever really realized how much Gajeel knew and understood about the world. He cared about Juvia a lot, because he understood. Because he knew. He understood what it was like to unloved and feared and despised. He knew what it was to feel cold even in the hot glare of admiration, to feel your chest tighten even as you scored your greatest victory.

Gajeel probably loved her, you know. During that brief time they spent together at Fairy Tail. It was quite like him, picking something to love and protect from a distance, but never facing up his feelings. You really can't blame him for being distant, after all, Juvia was always after Gray, so it wasn't like he actually stood a chance.

That's another weird thing, Juvia liking Gray. He wasn't in any way what Juvia admired or cared for. To her, he ought to have been just an icy show off, a superficial distraction from Juvia's work. I never actually believed she loved him in Fairy Tail. She was just acting. Playing a role she made up herself instead of showing her vulnerability.

She was good at that, she lived off of it. One day, she was Juvia the Rain Woman, cold, distant and crazy, the next day, she was Juvia of Fairy Tail, weird, stalker-like and obsessed. Before those she had been Juvia the Thief, wicked, lost and cruel, and before that she was Juvia the barmaid, kind, sweet and poor, and before that she was Juvia the Orphan, bitter, lonely and begging in the streets.

She had had enough of that, of being a doll, trapped inside someone else's playhouse. Maybe that's why she left.